Banjo

A marriage is an union of two people who are committed to each other. Can't get any simpler than this.

Deafness

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shel90

I don't dispute that.

However I know many people who have different ideas of what it means to be committed to each other.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Reba

If people don't have enough self control and respect for their spouses to stay faithful, then how can they be trusted in any other area of life?

Can they be trusted in business, in government, in the military, etc.? Will they cut and run when the going gets tough? Will they cheat on business deals and taxes so they can maintain their lifestyles?

If Mom or Dad can't stay faithful to each other, will they be around when their kids need them?

If they have no children, will the elderly wife be dumped for a trophy wife? Will the healthy wife want to stay home and tend to the bed-ridden husband? Will their extra-marital sex partners be willing to also be caregivers for them?

shel90

I think what people do in their private lives doesn't reflect their characters and their work ethics. There is a line bwtween personal and business lives, IMO.

If people can't distinguish between that line, that's their own personal problem but those who can, they should be respected for their skills, work ethics and etc on the job not by how they live their personal lives.

There r so many people who r hard workers, good parents and etc despite how they live their relationships.

Can't judge people like that. That's unfair...

Besides I'll bet there are so many good workers, good parents and etc who have open marriages but don't tell anyone. Who really knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Ever hear of "skeletons in the closet"?

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

shel90

What about people who dont have sex with other people but still cheat others out of money, neglect and abuse their children, and etc?

What about them?

It is like saying all people who follow the traditional marriage are child abusers, pedophiles, liars, theives and etc when we know that isnt true.

The same should apply to those people who live alternative lifestyles.

I see no correlation between how one lives their personal lives and how they act in society.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

~*Kaelei*~

Ditto

There are couples out there that aren't traditional..... there are couples out there that had made their own vows and you know what, that suits me just fine because it's their business, it's not my business as it doesn't affect my life.

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Dodge Trucker

Way back a couple of years ago...I met this co-worker who was honorably discharged from the Army. On her dog tags..she had her general information. On the 2nd tag..it asked for Religion. It said "Religion - Any". I kindly asked her what her idea of this was and she made a VERY valid point. I think this point translates to this thread.

She said..."when we all die and go up to meet our maker..will there be separate rooms for the Catholics...the High Rollers (Pentecostals)..the Baptists...the Lutherans...Jehovah's witnesses...the Methodists???"

I kindly told her that I didn't think there would be such a plan because we are all human being. We're all from the same cloth.

Case in point: Every body has their own religious views of who their God is. I don't speak for everyone, but I have noticed that pretty much every one I come across does not like to be lectured on WHO their God should be and WHY. If you disagree...OK fine..you're entitled to your opinion and then SHUT UP!! You can not and will not force your opinions on any one in the Land of the Free.

If people choose to have Open marriages..be heterosexual..be bi..have multiple partners or whatever...you certainly are entitled to your views..you may give it..but that doesn't mean the other person will HAVE to accept it. You don't like it..tough..move on.

That's how I am..what I do..and how I do it and why I do it is my business. If you cant accept it, then I suggest you move on to some body else, because I wouldn't take it. If guys and gals want to go into strip bars and have the BEST fun there..more power to them!! If guys and gals are content with staying home and reading a book/knitting...more power to them!! In this land of Free...we're free to do what we wish. Some actions may have consequences..some actions may not. You always have a choice...choices equals consequences.

If people want to make choices that they believe will benefit them better...I'm all for it!!

My 2 cents

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Respect everyone's opinion.
Don't like their opinion?

LIVE WITH IT!!

shel90

Especially about the part bolded in red.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Banjo

Maybe you should follow your own advice.

People are entitled to their opinions, no matter how wrong they are. People need to stop whining about how opinions are being forced upon them because it isn't. People are saying their pieces and they just don't like to hear it, so they try to accuse them of forcing it upon them.

If they don't want to be disagreed with, they shouldn't had said something in the first place.

Where's the wahmbulance when you need one?

shel90

I think he is talking about those who try to force their opinions on him not expressing their opinions.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Banjo

Ohhh, if that's what he meant. I apologize.

Dodge Trucker

Banjo..What I was merely trying to state is...upon reading this thread...people have been giving their piece of what they believe in. Certain other folks are attacking other opinions by criticizing them telling them its wrong wrong and THEY are RIGHT RIGHT.

Think of it this way: Since you say if they don't want to be disagreed with..they shouldn't say anything...does this hold true for our voters who voted our elected officials? If we don't say anything..then the crooked/less experienced will win. If we say something and vote..then we have a right to defend our beliefs. Some people may be radical..while others will not.

I was just merely trying to say that every one has their own opinions. If the others don't like it..then they can't do anything about it. If you thought I was whining..then I apologize if you thought I was. I wasn't.

__________________
Respect everyone's opinion.
Don't like their opinion?

LIVE WITH IT!!

Banjo

Yes, Shel pointed it out to me recently. I just didn't read it with a clear head at the moment.

Eeps. See what I got myself into when I don't pay attention carefully enough?

Glad you didn't take it the wrong way. Thanks!

Dodge Trucker

Hey its cool! We all have our brainfarts (I call em brainfarts after the movie GI Jane when the Corporal says to GI Jane "did you just have a brainfart?")

Hehehe its all good dude!

__________________
Respect everyone's opinion.
Don't like their opinion?

LIVE WITH IT!!

KarissaMann05

I understood her POVs for some reasons, and I don't think Reba was being judged on people. Just cos she simply asked. She just wondered about those questions on the idea of open marriage. Nobody is imposed any opinion on any one here.. I don't see any one claim they are right and others are wrong, either...

Well... Interestingly, how people react to those different opinions of another people have. While, with all due respect, here's what I hear you saying. Unless we must agree with you, you will not tolerate our view. Privately, you'll let us think whatever we want, but you don't want we to act as if my view is true. It seems you think tolerance is a virtue if and only if people agree with you.

Like Reba and cdaigle430 said, no one will change your mind or impose on you. We just critique on that open marriage. I don't know why you are so upset cos we are just not agree with that open marriage? Accusing us as judgemental ones? All right, I guess we should keep our words to ourselves and let you whatever the hell you want to say.

With that, I done with this thread. =/

Reba

Are those the Las Vegas branch of Holy Rollers?

Dodge Trucker

Karissa - hmm..maybe I didn't word my sentences right. What I was trying to say is that I am open to any one's opinion. In fact..I WELCOME it. What I was trying to say is that I am acceptable to other opinions..but when other tries to FORCE their opinion on me..then that is when I have a problem. If folks rather do this in a certain way..but I disagree with it..depending on how well I know this person..I probably will say a little something but go no further. If you were a complete stranger to me..I would just state my opinion/views and be done with it. Maybe I would agree or take your opinions/views into serious consideration. I might even take a look from outside the box and see where I could improve/agree on.

My only problem is when folks TRY to force their opinions on me/others when I tell them that the conversation is over. Trust me..at my place of employment...there's lots and lots and lots of folks who force their personal opinions (not work related) on others and get PO'd if the others dont follow their opinions personally. I would get PO'd if some folks try to TELL me what I should be doing when I have a good head on these shoulders.

__________________
Respect everyone's opinion.
Don't like their opinion?

LIVE WITH IT!!

cdaigle430

Right on the money, seems like this thread is nothing but a blatant crusade to convert everyones marriage into an open/swingers type and if you don't agree with them your a biggot. Usually you get these type of things because those people want others to make them feel better about what they do especially when they are unsure of it. Next thing you will see crusades for humans to marry and have sex with animals, or marry and have sex with space aliens. Just because some country's/religions allow adults to marry and become intimate with children like 12 years old and under doesn't make it right just because they are entitled to there own beliefs. Humans are capable of making inhuman choices-I think that was why the law of marriage came to be in the first place-to provide some sort of guide.

I am done with this thread also....

shel90

Some of these comments are making me laugh. Sex with animals? Now, that's extreme!

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Daredevel7

Wow, we already are being condemned for having sex with space aliens?

But but but.... does this mean I can't have sex with Superman?

shel90

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

C.C.Sinned

sure you can. just don't get your hopes up. it looks like superman is having an identity crisis

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Passionate4ASL

IMO...
Gotta be careful I have heard of a few men who think they are poly so they can be with another woman but when he see's his wife with another man, he freaks out!

Or go up!

IMO...if someone is sneaking around cheating I think its more than just a sexual issue, their are probably also deeper marital scares that need to be addressed and I don't know if making the marriage "open" will solve them.

Agreed!!

This is like opening pandora's box!

P.S. Not saying how anyone else should believe, just stating my opinion.

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JennieLynn

Buffalo

I can think of plenty of examples where what was a sin yesterday isn't a sin today. I can't think of a single example of what was not a sin yesterday is a sin today. Can you?

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It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
- Gilbert Chesterton

Buffalo

Personally, I prefer monogamous relationship (married or not). Polyamory is better than polygamy. I just don't like double standards at all. I don't like it when one said to the other, I can fool around with others but you have to be faithful to me alone.

I suspect that one or both couple would still get hurt in a polyamory relationship. If they want to get into that kind of relationship, I hope they stock up condoms. They should use condoms both inside and outside the marriage, just to be on the safe side.

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It isn't that they can't see the solution. It is that they can't see the problem.
- Gilbert Chesterton

rockin'robin

I agree, Buffalo....and what works for some people might not work for others....it's really nobody's business but their own.

web730

Absolutely right!

Open marriage is not good, period.

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ricky_rick77

I think that people who try open marriages are playing a dangerous game! because while they are trying to be open and enjoy other couples or other people what happens when one of the spouses decides that he or she likes some one else better, me persoanlly if I was married I cannot just share my wife like I would share candy because once another man has touched her I would see her as damaged goods and would not want nothing to do with her but be in the same room long enough to sign the divorce paper's!

shel90

What if a spouse meets someone at work or at a party and falls in love with that person even without having sex? The dangers of losing a spouse to someone else are there whether one has an open marriage or not. Love is a risky thing no matter what. That's why love hurts.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Reba

If people want to play around with other people outside of marriage then they should at least call it what it is. It is not "open marriage." It is adultery. They should also have no reason to expect their behavior to be accepted by their family, friends, and the mainstream of society.