To Date a Deafie or Not To ?

gnarlydorkette · 11-11-2003, 10:32 PM

hmph i am hoping i dont start up a controversy but i am curious on whether you would rather to date a deafie or hearing (subchoices for this: hearing with no prior deaf exposures, or one already exposed to deaf cultures/know ASL) ?

as for me, I dont really care but i have to admit it is hard to find a good candidate in the deaf community... since it is kind of a SMALL world out there, there is a good chance that they have slept with my friends or dated somebody in my circle, you know? You all may see me as picky but I do NOT want to be the 'second-hand' girl after he had been with my friend, you know? that is just plainly nasty to me. It is even worser if he wants to date me WHILE I am still friend with that girl he dated... >___@;;;

DeafSCUBA98 · 11-11-2003, 11:13 PM

i agree with you there gal!

But sometimes a deafie gal would be my type if i can trust her well enough, and love is good.. then that would be great.

sometimes i'm looking for interpreters to date with :-X or a gal who is willing enough to learn ASL..

Amby · 11-12-2003, 11:40 AM

I very well understand what you mean. To be honest, I would not care who I date, as long it's someone that I love. As to issues with the person that has been around my "circle" as in with my friends or family... well, it would depend on the invidual itself. For me- I'd rather a deaf guy, but if there's a hearing guy that is willing to love me for who I am, and willing to learn the language- I wouldn't have a problem.

-Amby-

javapride · 11-12-2003, 12:31 PM

i would date the womyn no matter what circle of friends she's from all i care abt is what she does in her own heart and how she percives life, and if there's a friend i don't like i can tell her and let her know and maybe who knows a good agreement or communication to understand that person better would be good OR not, depends on the situation. but as far as im concerned my woman should be someone i care on the inside not how poeple percived her or if she happens to sleep with the friends in my circle, what's done is done and there's nothing u can undo abt it, its not like u can change that and say she never slept with the person, its already done! SO we just live for today worry abt tmw and deal with the past as an lesson learned.

illustrator · 11-12-2003, 04:32 PM

i don't care my dating is deaf, hearing, or blind. As long as ladies have beautiful inner.

right now, I am dating hearing girl. She have high motive in sign language.

Sweet_KJ · 11-12-2003, 05:27 PM

Dorkette, I know what you're talking about.... I would feel weirded out if I was dating someone who was friends with someone else I've dated, and vice versa.

As matter of fact, I'm kinda building a little 'crush' on someone that one of my oldest friends had a very close relationship with -- but I refuse to go any further than that because I don't like the idea of being that weirded out, or even jeopardizing any friendship...

I'm dating both Deaf and Hearing guys

Fly Free · 11-12-2003, 05:47 PM

ive dated both deaf and hearing women -- my current womyn ofc is deaf

Y · 11-13-2003, 06:07 PM

Coming from a large family of BOTH deaf and hearing siblings,
I agree with some others above who mentioned about
"what's in heart, no matter what"... But, I cannot help
feeling more comfortable dating deaf only. I even had
a hearing guy with a Big beautiful heart who really wanted
to date me then I told him honestly that I would prefer
to date deaf guys only... guess what ? He married to
my hearing sister. That's wonderful ! I still love him
as my own brother in law.

Ziusudra · 11-14-2003, 08:59 PM

I am with a very lovely hearing boyfriend and I don't think it matters for hearing or deaf. I am deaf myself and the only thing I can think of why deaf people prefer deaf people is for the easier communication. My boyfriend is slowly learning sign and I'm happy because we both work at understanding each other. I can lipread and talk as well so I'm lucky.

Brian · 11-16-2003, 11:35 PM

I had to think hard... I get along just fine with most hearing and hard-of-hearing girls than I could possibly with deaf girls.

BabyPhat21 · 11-21-2003, 04:46 PM

BOTH hearing and deaf must follow these simple rules :
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her -- She's spoiled rotten -------------------------------------------------- HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked -- Bring food -- Bring Beer -- Don't block the TV, Have a great day!

gnarlydorkette · 11-21-2003, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyPhat21

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked -- Bring food -- Bring Beer -- Don't block the TV, Have a great day!

well, that is true...!

Ziusudra · 11-21-2003, 07:48 PM

Lol. The woman part is true. The male part doesn't apply to my boyfriend, he's the sweetest guy ever!

Fly Free · 11-21-2003, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BabyPhat21

BOTH hearing and deaf must follow these simple rules :
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her -- She's spoiled rotten -------------------------------------------------- HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked -- Bring food -- Bring Beer -- Don't block the TV, Have a great day!

BP21 -- u got it all it looks like LOL

racheleggert · 01-21-2004, 04:41 PM

I date both hearing, deaf, deafblind guys... Now I am dating a hearing guy who know little sign and is currently taking ASL level 1 class to communicate with me better.

WildHunt · 01-29-2004, 12:30 PM

I used to date mostly hearing guys, only dated three deaf guys. My husband is hard of hearing, and I like that. It's a lot easier on me, because he can communicate well with me and at the same time, teach me how to improve my speaking/lipreading skills.

**Angel** · 01-29-2004, 01:03 PM

Since I was in senior from high school , I was only interesting dating hearing guys...Now, I would date both deaf/hearing....

***VamPyroX*** · 01-29-2004, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ^Angel^

Since I was in senior from high school , I was only interesting dating hearing guys...Now, I would date both deaf/hearing....

Why were you interested in only dating hearing guys?

Ginette · 01-29-2004, 03:11 PM

I started dating when I was 16. I dated only hearing guys, and preferred it that way. For me, it was easier to communicate with them, considering the fact that I am oral deaf.

After I turned 18, I dated 3 deaf guys. I didn't date any of them for very long. I found that there was a lot of miscommunication. I do know English Sign, it was my first language, and I also took courses when I was in Highschool. They were really clingy, and dependant on me. After dating them, I went back to hearing guys.

Now I am married to a hearing guy. We don't have any trouble understanding each other (it helps that I am oral deaf). He does not know sign language, and that is fine with me.

11-11-2003, 10:32 PM	#1 (permalink)
gnarlydorkette Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 1,764	To Date a Deafie or Not To ? hmph i am hoping i dont start up a controversy but i am curious on whether you would rather to date a deafie or hearing (subchoices for this: hearing with no prior deaf exposures, or one already exposed to deaf cultures/know ASL) ? as for me, I dont really care but i have to admit it is hard to find a good candidate in the deaf community... since it is kind of a SMALL world out there, there is a good chance that they have slept with my friends or dated somebody in my circle, you know? You all may see me as picky but I do NOT want to be the 'second-hand' girl after he had been with my friend, you know? that is just plainly nasty to me. It is even worser if he wants to date me WHILE I am still friend with that girl he dated... >___@;;;

11-11-2003, 11:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
DeafSCUBA98 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: land of 10,000 lakes and living by one of them Posts: 4,645	i agree with you there gal! But sometimes a deafie gal would be my type if i can trust her well enough, and love is good.. then that would be great. sometimes i'm looking for interpreters to date with :-X or a gal who is willing enough to learn ASL.. __________________ Nucleus Freedom 04/18/05 activiated 05/16/05

11-12-2003, 05:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
Fly Free Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Roosted in the DC area! Posts: 9,101	ive dated both deaf and hearing women -- my current womyn ofc is deaf __________________ Enjoying life!

11-13-2003, 06:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
Y Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 3,113	Coming from a large family of BOTH deaf and hearing siblings, I agree with some others above who mentioned about "what's in heart, no matter what"... But, I cannot help feeling more comfortable dating deaf only. I even had a hearing guy with a Big beautiful heart who really wanted to date me then I told him honestly that I would prefer to date deaf guys only... guess what ? He married to my hearing sister. That's wonderful ! I still love him as my own brother in law. __________________

01-21-2004, 04:41 PM	#15 (permalink)
racheleggert Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Twin Cities, MN Posts: 2,306	I date both hearing, deaf, deafblind guys... Now I am dating a hearing guy who know little sign and is currently taking ASL level 1 class to communicate with me better. __________________

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

11-12-2003, 11:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
Amby Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: New York Posts: 121	I very well understand what you mean. To be honest, I would not care who I date, as long it's someone that I love. As to issues with the person that has been around my "circle" as in with my friends or family... well, it would depend on the invidual itself. For me- I'd rather a deaf guy, but if there's a hearing guy that is willing to love me for who I am, and willing to learn the language- I wouldn't have a problem. -Amby-

11-12-2003, 12:31 PM	#4 (permalink)
javapride Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: hawaii Posts: 6,511	i would date the womyn no matter what circle of friends she's from all i care abt is what she does in her own heart and how she percives life, and if there's a friend i don't like i can tell her and let her know and maybe who knows a good agreement or communication to understand that person better would be good OR not, depends on the situation. but as far as im concerned my woman should be someone i care on the inside not how poeple percived her or if she happens to sleep with the friends in my circle, what's done is done and there's nothing u can undo abt it, its not like u can change that and say she never slept with the person, its already done! SO we just live for today worry abt tmw and deal with the past as an lesson learned.

11-12-2003, 04:32 PM	#5 (permalink)
illustrator Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Benbrook Posts: 4,594	i don't care my dating is deaf, hearing, or blind. As long as ladies have beautiful inner. right now, I am dating hearing girl. She have high motive in sign language.

11-12-2003, 05:27 PM	#6 (permalink)
Sweet_KJ Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Southern California Posts: 722	Dorkette, I know what you're talking about.... I would feel weirded out if I was dating someone who was friends with someone else I've dated, and vice versa. As matter of fact, I'm kinda building a little 'crush' on someone that one of my oldest friends had a very close relationship with -- but I refuse to go any further than that because I don't like the idea of being that weirded out, or even jeopardizing any friendship... I'm dating both Deaf and Hearing guys

11-14-2003, 08:59 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ziusudra Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Gold Coast, Australia Posts: 771	I am with a very lovely hearing boyfriend and I don't think it matters for hearing or deaf. I am deaf myself and the only thing I can think of why deaf people prefer deaf people is for the easier communication. My boyfriend is slowly learning sign and I'm happy because we both work at understanding each other. I can lipread and talk as well so I'm lucky.

11-16-2003, 11:35 PM	#10 (permalink)
Brian Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 4,750	I had to think hard... I get along just fine with most hearing and hard-of-hearing girls than I could possibly with deaf girls.

11-21-2003, 04:46 PM	#11 (permalink)
BabyPhat21 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: CALI Posts: 3,107	BOTH hearing and deaf must follow these simple rules : HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN: Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her -- She's spoiled rotten -------------------------------------------------- HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: Show up naked -- Bring food -- Bring Beer -- Don't block the TV, Have a great day!

11-21-2003, 07:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
Ziusudra Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Gold Coast, Australia Posts: 771	Lol. The woman part is true. The male part doesn't apply to my boyfriend, he's the sweetest guy ever!

01-29-2004, 12:30 PM	#16 (permalink)
WildHunt Registered User Join Date: May 2003 Location: South Cali Posts: 769	I used to date mostly hearing guys, only dated three deaf guys. My husband is hard of hearing, and I like that. It's a lot easier on me, because he can communicate well with me and at the same time, teach me how to improve my speaking/lipreading skills.

01-29-2004, 01:03 PM	#17 (permalink)
Angel ♥"Concrete Angel"♥ Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 19,089	Since I was in senior from high school , I was only interesting dating hearing guys...Now, I would date both deaf/hearing.... __________________ "When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

01-29-2004, 03:11 PM	#19 (permalink)
Ginette Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 117	I started dating when I was 16. I dated only hearing guys, and preferred it that way. For me, it was easier to communicate with them, considering the fact that I am oral deaf. After I turned 18, I dated 3 deaf guys. I didn't date any of them for very long. I found that there was a lot of miscommunication. I do know English Sign, it was my first language, and I also took courses when I was in Highschool. They were really clingy, and dependant on me. After dating them, I went back to hearing guys. Now I am married to a hearing guy. We don't have any trouble understanding each other (it helps that I am oral deaf). He does not know sign language, and that is fine with me.

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