What am I searching for?

Dixie · 09-14-2008, 09:52 PM

As most of you know Ive gone through some shitty stuff in my 24 years around the sun.

I had abuse in my youth, I had no highschool sweetheart, I had one very bad abusive marriage, one relationship that was beautiful but ended badly, another relationship that was based solely on sex and alcohol, another that just wasnt right.

It seems as though I have this gaurd up where I dont readily accept men as well as I do women. Oddly enough, Ive had closer relationships with women than I have men all my life.

It seems though there is this void Im longing to fill. I want adult companionship, a genuine relationship that is delicate as much as it is intricate.

I just feel incomplete at the moment. Not sure why, but Ive felt this way for almost a year now, like I want something to fill that hole in my heart.

I want to be serious with school and work, and motherhood, but I also want to find the 'One'.

I find that marriage is a joke, mainly because my first time around left quite a sour taste in my mouth.

I just wish I knew how to fill the void, but with what?

Gemma · 09-14-2008, 09:59 PM

Dixie, you read my mind and put everything down in articulate words than I could ever. I wish I have answers too.

lumbingmi · 09-14-2008, 10:11 PM

Good things will come to whoever have patience.

Someone once told me love is like you re chasing butterfly. If you keep on chasing butterfly, it would keep run away but if you remain and have patient, butterfly would come and rest on your finger. The point of this story is to have patient and let things come to you. If not more than often, people who rush things they end up being bitterness and have problems.

I would recommend to just keep going to deaf gathering/bar/club whatever is happening in your area and hope to find 'right one' instead of stay at home and whining.

Gemma · 09-14-2008, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumbingmi

Good things will come to whoever have patience.

Someone once told me love is like you re chasing butterfly. If you keep on chasing butterfly, it would keep run away but if you remain and have patient, butterfly would come and rest on your finger. The point of this story is to have patient and let things come to you. If not more than often, people who rush things they end up being bitterness and have problems.

I would recommend to just keep going to deaf gathering/bar/club whatever is happening in your area and hope to find 'right one' instead of stay at home and whining.

Hey she is not whining - so quit that negative feedback - she is merely stating her frustations.

It is about quality, NOT quantity if you didnt get that in first place

lumbingmi · 09-14-2008, 10:19 PM

I thought Dixi is a guy?

EDIT: Dixie wrote 'boi' above her avator which led me assuming Dixie is a guy.

Dixie · 09-14-2008, 10:24 PM

no - boi as in Darren Hayes the Aussie Boi whom I believe is a talented singer.

lumbingmi · 09-14-2008, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemma

Hey she is not whining - so quit that negative feedback - she is merely stating her frustations.

It is about quality, NOT quantity if you didnt get that in first place

Perhaps 'whining' is harsh word but what I mean is stop feel sorry for yourself and get out! Do something like get yourself in shape or go shopping or whatever. You wont accomplish anything if you complain to people behind your computer.

lumbingmi · 09-14-2008, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie

no - boi as in Darren Hayes the Aussie Boi whom I believe is a talented singer.

Lol Ok. Didn't know you re girl. Because I remember you had avatar of guy which I thought it was you but apparently not.

shel90 · 09-14-2008, 10:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumbingmi

Perhaps 'whining' is harsh word but what I mean is stop feel sorry for yourself and get out! Do something like get yourself in shape or go shopping or whatever. You wont accomplish anything if you complain to people behind your computer.

She has gotten herself back in shape...as for getting out..she works full-time, is a single mom and a college student. I think that leaves little time for getting out and doing things for herself.

She rarely gets on AD and this is the first time she has "complained" about not finding the one.

Sometimes, it is good to vent it out every now and then.

lumbingmi · 09-15-2008, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

She has gotten herself back in shape...as for getting out..she works full-time, is a single mom and a college student. I think that leaves little time for getting out and doing things for herself.

She rarely gets on AD and this is the first time she has "complained" about not finding the one.

Sometimes, it is good to vent it out every now and then.

I did not know her whole story. I agree. It s good vent for her.

shel90 · 09-15-2008, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumbingmi

i did not know her whole story. I agree. It s good vent for her.

:d

lumbingmi · 09-15-2008, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

:d

imdeafsowhat · 09-15-2008, 11:45 AM

lumbingmi sucks at giving advices.

Dudette. Find someone that's wonderful for you. If you do, you better do crazy things that will make him fall for you. If you don't, being patience can lead a lonely life. You can practically do almost anything to find someone, but just don't lose yourself in those relationships as you have.

Simply when you are in love, you won't back off and you will finally see what you are looking for.

lumbingmi · 09-15-2008, 08:25 PM

Please. You re telling tell Dixie to do desperate action to get someone to fall for her Rushing things always lead to bad things. I am saying be patience and wait for the right moment. If can't then go out more often to meet people to increase the chance to find one.

btw for imdeafsowhat:

shel90 · 09-15-2008, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumbingmi

It was supposed to be a green smiley face..guess it didnt come out right.

shel90 · 09-15-2008, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumbingmi

Please. You re telling tell Dixie to do desperate action to get someone to fall for her Rushing things always lead to bad things. I am saying be patience and wait for the right moment. If can't then go out more often to meet people to increase the chance to find one.

btw for imdeafsowhat:

Yea, patience brings greater things.

imdeafsowhat · 09-16-2008, 12:50 PM

Lumbing, rushing things are vital indeed.

But when it comes to love. You have to MOVE. Or that person you wanted to get know is gone, possibly, forever.

Don't you see? Here's an example.

Me.

I met this girl at school, she's like "No boys. School first." But I didn't care what that means because I knew it was BS. So then there were another boys who wanted to date her as well, so it was kinda competitive, but gosh, she was tough as hell. She would avoid us all and we would allow her to walk away from us. BUT NOT ME, I pursued her and studied her. By the time, we started to talk, we hung out for months and at that time, I had a girlfriend, she wasn't really a good girlfriend to me, ditching me for parties? Pfft.

Anyways, after I got dumped by my girl, I knew the opportunity is there and I went for it. Don't you see, if it's LOVE, MOVE IT!

Liza · 09-16-2008, 01:20 PM

Sometimes you gotta love yourself before you can love others.

imdeafsowhat · 09-16-2008, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liza

Sometimes you gotta love yourself before you can love others.

True.

If you hate yourself, no one will like you for who you are. They can even see that you dislike yourself in a behavior's movement or the way you talk about yourself.

lumbingmi · 09-16-2008, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by imdeafsowhat

BUT NOT ME, I pursued her and studied her. By the time, we started to talk, we hung out for months and at that time, I had a girlfriend, she wasn't really a good girlfriend to me, ditching me for parties? Pfft.

You just prove my point

lumbingmi · 09-16-2008, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liza

Sometimes you gotta love yourself before you can love others.

Rings 100 percent true. What you see in yourself will certain rub off on other people.

09-14-2008, 09:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dixie Hooray its November! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 4,200	What am I searching for? As most of you know Ive gone through some shitty stuff in my 24 years around the sun. I had abuse in my youth, I had no highschool sweetheart, I had one very bad abusive marriage, one relationship that was beautiful but ended badly, another relationship that was based solely on sex and alcohol, another that just wasnt right. It seems as though I have this gaurd up where I dont readily accept men as well as I do women. Oddly enough, Ive had closer relationships with women than I have men all my life. It seems though there is this void Im longing to fill. I want adult companionship, a genuine relationship that is delicate as much as it is intricate. I just feel incomplete at the moment. Not sure why, but Ive felt this way for almost a year now, like I want something to fill that hole in my heart. I want to be serious with school and work, and motherhood, but I also want to find the 'One'. I find that marriage is a joke, mainly because my first time around left quite a sour taste in my mouth. I just wish I knew how to fill the void, but with what? __________________ Visit my Deaf Blog Signature banner created by me, please do not steal!

09-14-2008, 10:11 PM	#3 (permalink)
lumbingmi Invigorated Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 4,262	Good things will come to whoever have patience. Someone once told me love is like you re chasing butterfly. If you keep on chasing butterfly, it would keep run away but if you remain and have patient, butterfly would come and rest on your finger. The point of this story is to have patient and let things come to you. If not more than often, people who rush things they end up being bitterness and have problems. I would recommend to just keep going to deaf gathering/bar/club whatever is happening in your area and hope to find 'right one' instead of stay at home and whining. __________________ Picard: Seize the time, Meribor, live now. Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again. Meribor: I love you, father.

09-14-2008, 10:19 PM	#5 (permalink)
lumbingmi Invigorated Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 4,262	I thought Dixi is a guy? EDIT: Dixie wrote 'boi' above her avator which led me assuming Dixie is a guy. __________________ Picard: Seize the time, Meribor, live now. Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again. Meribor: I love you, father.

09-14-2008, 10:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dixie Hooray its November! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 4,200	no - boi as in Darren Hayes the Aussie Boi whom I believe is a talented singer. __________________ Visit my Deaf Blog Signature banner created by me, please do not steal!

09-15-2008, 08:25 PM	#14 (permalink)
lumbingmi Invigorated Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 4,262	Please. You re telling tell Dixie to do desperate action to get someone to fall for her Rushing things always lead to bad things. I am saying be patience and wait for the right moment. If can't then go out more often to meet people to increase the chance to find one. btw for imdeafsowhat: __________________ Picard: Seize the time, Meribor, live now. Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again. Meribor: I love you, father.

Today
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09-14-2008, 09:59 PM	#2 (permalink)
Gemma Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 941	Dixie, you read my mind and put everything down in articulate words than I could ever. I wish I have answers too.

09-15-2008, 11:45 AM	#13 (permalink)
imdeafsowhat Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: The Golden Coast Posts: 1,654	lumbingmi sucks at giving advices. Dudette. Find someone that's wonderful for you. If you do, you better do crazy things that will make him fall for you. If you don't, being patience can lead a lonely life. You can practically do almost anything to find someone, but just don't lose yourself in those relationships as you have. Simply when you are in love, you won't back off and you will finally see what you are looking for.

09-16-2008, 12:50 PM	#17 (permalink)
imdeafsowhat Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: The Golden Coast Posts: 1,654	Lumbing, rushing things are vital indeed. But when it comes to love. You have to MOVE. Or that person you wanted to get know is gone, possibly, forever. Don't you see? Here's an example. Me. I met this girl at school, she's like "No boys. School first." But I didn't care what that means because I knew it was BS. So then there were another boys who wanted to date her as well, so it was kinda competitive, but gosh, she was tough as hell. She would avoid us all and we would allow her to walk away from us. BUT NOT ME, I pursued her and studied her. By the time, we started to talk, we hung out for months and at that time, I had a girlfriend, she wasn't really a good girlfriend to me, ditching me for parties? Pfft. Anyways, after I got dumped by my girl, I knew the opportunity is there and I went for it. Don't you see, if it's LOVE, MOVE IT!

09-16-2008, 01:20 PM	#18 (permalink)
Liza Cranial protocologist Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: St Augustine, FL Posts: 4,161 Blog Entries: 2	Sometimes you gotta love yourself before you can love others.

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