what's wrong with me?

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 07:20 PM

My ex cheated me twice and didn't really care how I feel. He broke up with me so he can date her "new girlfriend" from night stand (that's why he was cheating on me) It is almost one year for me that my ex broke up with me. I tried to hang out with friends, focus on education, do my fav. hobbies, and else. I just cant move on yet.. GUESS WHAT? my ex is still living with that "new girlfriend" unbelievable! He just met her on same day of night stand! ugh..
What should I do? it seem that I cant let it go..

No, I'm not interested to date again right now because I want to get serious in education than boyfriend/relationship

Hermes · 08-31-2008, 08:22 PM

Letting it go doesnt mean have a new boyfriend. Eventually you will let it go, and if you really cant you will live with it. There is no magic answer. I guess the "new girl" part bothers you more , and more you think on it , longer it stays in your mind. You can not let it go without taking your mind off it. Give you attention to something else if you can. If you can not, then just live with it.

p.s: Nothing is wrong with you. What you are doing is a very natural human behaviour though its not healthy in the long term.

Be Well
Hermes

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hermes

Letting it go doesnt mean have a new boyfriend. Eventually you will let it go, and if you really cant you will live with it. There is no magic answer. I guess the "new girl" part bothers you more , and more you think on it , longer it stays in your mind. You can not let it go without taking your mind off it. Give you attention to something else if you can. If you can not, then just live with it.

p.s: Nothing is wrong with you. What you are doing is a very natural human behaviour though its not healthy in the long term.

Be Well
Hermes

that "new girl" dont really bother me.. it just that my ex spent more time with her than me!

you have good point.. just live with it..

I'll try to live with it..

Maria · 08-31-2008, 08:42 PM

If, he spends his quality time with " her " than be with you, then it is not worth it to worry about him or have him back. If, I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want him back. I will find someone else who is better than him and of course, I will learn that lesson by finding someone else who is NOT going to be like him.

Find a " hot " fish who is more interested in being with you rather than a " cold " fish who is NOT interested in being with you.

There's plenty of fishes out there for ya.

Hermes · 08-31-2008, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taurus

that "new girl" dont really bother me.. it just that my ex spent more time with her than me!

The new girl, why he is with her, how long, its all part of the same package. Things usually stay in our mind when they are unsolved. We ask ourselves questions but we do not get answers and those questions remain in our thoughts.

If you pay attention to it, if you can observe it, you might notice its not really about him or her but about yourself. Like, he was with her longer than he was with me, what is wrong with me? Why didnt he stay with me longer, am I not good enough? He didnt pay me the attention he is paying her, am I not worth it?

You see all these questions start like they are about the other person but actually indicating our worries about ourselves. And without facing them , they wont go away. There is a chance you can not still let him go because of these self questions . If that is true than him and her are just an excuse you project your self worries on. I can not say , yes thats it.. Only you can recognize if it might be true or not.

Be Well
Hermes

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maria

If, he spends his quality time with " her " than be with you, then it is not worth it to worry about him or have him back. If, I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want him back. I will find someone else who is better than him and of course, I will learn that lesson by finding someone else who is NOT going to be like him.

Find a " hot " fish who is more interested in being with you rather than a " cold " fish who is NOT interested in being with you.

There's plenty of fishes out there for ya.

I dont want him back anyway, but my ex is still haunting me in my mind..

JClarke · 08-31-2008, 09:04 PM

butt him out of the life of yours, my friend.

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hermes

The new girl, why he is with her, how long, its all part of the same package. Things usually stay in our mind when they are unsolved. We ask ourselves questions but we do not get answers and those questions remain in our thoughts.

If you pay attention to it, if you can observe it, you might notice its not really about him or her but about yourself. Like, he was with her longer than he was with me, what is wrong with me? Why didnt he stay with me longer, am I not good enough? He didnt pay me the attention he is paying her, am I not worth it?

You see all these questions start like they are about the other person but actually indicating our worries about ourselves. And without facing them , they wont go away. There is a chance you can not still let him go because of these self questions . If that is true than him and her are just an excuse you project your self worries on. I can not say , yes thats it.. Only you can recognize if it might be true or not.

Be Well
Hermes

Well I know why he is with her because of good sex life..
well actually I didnt think why I'm not good enough or else..

I waited for 19 years to find mr. right.. No kiss, no sex, no date experiences till my ex..
It just a feeling like "Why he came in my life and left me just like this?"
I'm still confuse why he said that he would love me forever and ever..
but to me.. its like he is gone forever and ever.. that is so opposite of "love me forever and ever.."
I gave him everything to make him happy but he gave me nothing back..

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JClarke

butt him out of the life of yours, my friend.

Dont worry, he is already out of my life.. he live in different state.. I hasnt talk to him for like 8 months or so..

JClarke · 08-31-2008, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taurus

Dont worry, he is already out of my life.. he live in different state.. I hasnt talk to him for like 8 months or so..

Just focus on whatever you are determined for... just don't put in mind what has happened 8 months ago, just think of happy thoughts

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JClarke

Just focus on whatever you are determined for... just don't put in mind what has happened 8 months ago, just think of happy thoughts

I did, didnt work..

one time i got 4.00gpa.. yes very determinded to get good grades.. but didnt work.. I still think about him..

JClarke · 08-31-2008, 09:13 PM

That's really bad for you, my friend. Just try and focus a bit hard, or go to a deaf social, you might end uop meeting the guy of your dreams

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JClarke

That's really bad for you, my friend. Just try and focus a bit hard, or go to a deaf social, you might end uop meeting the guy of your dreams

nah, I rather to stay single for few more years..

I just want to find the way to forget him..

hey.. i have good question.. Move on mean that dont want back but still think about ex once awhile, right?

Some ppl told me that I hasnt move on.. To me, I felt like that I did move on (dont want him back anyway) but still think about him sometime..

JClarke · 08-31-2008, 09:28 PM

well, it is a bad thing to think about him, once in a while, Taurus -- Best to totally forget him, you are done with him. He is useless for you now, what is the point to have him in your mind, really? Best to think of some happy thoughts instead of him. I have gone trhough many troubles. I'm done though. I know that moving on is hard to do, but with your great effort, you'll do just fine.

Hermes · 08-31-2008, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taurus

nah, I rather to stay single for few more years..

I just want to find the way to forget him..

hey.. i have good question.. Move on mean that dont want back but still think about ex once awhile, right?

Some ppl told me that I hasnt move on.. To me, I felt like that I did move on (dont want him back anyway) but still think about him sometime..

The way you started this thread, I dont think you moved on.. Move on means letting him go completly. If you moved on, then there wouldnt be a thread talking about him and asking whats wrong with you, nor you wouldnt need to find a way to forget him.

-

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JClarke

well, it is a bad thing to think about him, once in a while, Taurus -- Best to totally forget him, you are done with him. He is useless for you now, what is the point to have him in your mind, really? Best to think of some happy thoughts instead of him. I have gone trhough many troubles. I'm done though. I know that moving on is hard to do, but with your great effort, you'll do just fine.

yea i know, thanks for trying to help me.

JClarke · 08-31-2008, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taurus

yea i know, thanks for trying to help me.

Not at problem, I'm glad to lend an hand. I wish you all the best.

Taurus · 08-31-2008, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JClarke

Not at problem, I'm glad to lend an hand. I wish you all the best.

thank you

JClarke · 08-31-2008, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taurus

thank you

You're very welcome!

09-01-2008, 12:58 AM

Maybe you and Taurus should get married

Bebonang · 09-01-2008, 02:14 AM

Being single again can be as tough as being divorced or separate. It is a hard and trying time to move on which you are not moving on yet. I understand what Hermes said. You have to find some kind of hobby like going bowling in a deaf social bowling alley. Just go social meeting deaf people to have a good time. You do not have to have a boyfriend if you do not want to. As having sex, it is like losing interest and you can not help that when you don`t want sex. I have a problem with that too when it comes to sex. I am not interest in sex anymore and I am surprise my husband still live with me. Go figure. Just have to find a way to keep you busy so that you won`t think about your ex. Hope that help. Good luck.

Taurus · 09-01-2008, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hermes

The way you started this thread, I dont think you moved on.. Move on means letting him go completly. If you moved on, then there wouldnt be a thread talking about him and asking whats wrong with you, nor you wouldnt need to find a way to forget him.

-

Oh, I miss this post.. hehe sorry

hmm that's true..

Taurus · 09-01-2008, 07:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bebonang

Being single again can be as tough as being divorced or separate. It is a hard and trying time to move on which you are not moving on yet. I understand what Hermes said. You have to find some kind of hobby like going bowling in a deaf social bowling alley. Just go social meeting deaf people to have a good time. You do not have to have a boyfriend if you do not want to. As having sex, it is like losing interest and you can not help that when you don`t want sex. I have a problem with that too when it comes to sex. I am not interest in sex anymore and I am surprise my husband still live with me. Go figure. Just have to find a way to keep you busy so that you won`t think about your ex. Hope that help. Good luck.

thanks for helping me out

omegaman · 09-01-2008, 08:32 AM

Moving on is hard. It is easy to say forget about your ex and move on. I remember saying the same thing to my ex when she told me she how she'd still think and dream about her ex. I guess I never really understood at the time, because sometimes I find myself thinking and dreaming about my ex even though we broke up many moon cycles ago.

My only suggestion that I can think of, is to think positive. As much as you loved your ex, your ex cheated on you, and he will probably continue to cheat. I guess it is also a learning experience. You deserve better!

Byrdie714 · 09-01-2008, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taurus

My ex cheated me twice and didn't really care how I feel. He broke up with me so he can date her "new girlfriend" from night stand (that's why he was cheating on me) It is almost one year for me that my ex broke up with me. I tried to hang out with friends, focus on education, do my fav. hobbies, and else. I just cant move on yet.. GUESS WHAT? my ex is still living with that "new girlfriend" unbelievable! He just met her on same day of night stand! ugh..
What should I do? it seem that I cant let it go..

No, I'm not interested to date again right now because I want to get serious in education than boyfriend/relationship

Quote:

Originally Posted by Taurus

I dont want him back anyway, but my ex is still haunting me in my mind..

Maybe it's time to go to a counselor to figure out why this is bothering you.

The one thing I noticed is that you mentioned is that you are still obssesed with with him and his current girlfriend.

That is not a healthy sign especially since he has already moved on. So should you

.

08-31-2008, 07:20 PM	#1 (permalink)
Taurus Stubborn the Bull Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: On Earth Posts: 399	what's wrong with me? My ex cheated me twice and didn't really care how I feel. He broke up with me so he can date her "new girlfriend" from night stand (that's why he was cheating on me) It is almost one year for me that my ex broke up with me. I tried to hang out with friends, focus on education, do my fav. hobbies, and else. I just cant move on yet.. GUESS WHAT? my ex is still living with that "new girlfriend" unbelievable! He just met her on same day of night stand! ugh.. What should I do? it seem that I cant let it go.. No, I'm not interested to date again right now because I want to get serious in education than boyfriend/relationship __________________ I love my sexy Libra man!

08-31-2008, 08:22 PM	#2 (permalink)
Hermes Registered User Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 394 Blog Entries: 5	Letting it go doesnt mean have a new boyfriend. Eventually you will let it go, and if you really cant you will live with it. There is no magic answer. I guess the "new girl" part bothers you more , and more you think on it , longer it stays in your mind. You can not let it go without taking your mind off it. Give you attention to something else if you can. If you can not, then just live with it. p.s: Nothing is wrong with you. What you are doing is a very natural human behaviour though its not healthy in the long term. Be Well Hermes __________________ “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?

08-31-2008, 09:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
JClarke AD addict Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 14,113 Blog Entries: 4	butt him out of the life of yours, my friend. __________________ This is not a ASL version

08-31-2008, 09:13 PM	#12 (permalink)
JClarke AD addict Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 14,113 Blog Entries: 4	That's really bad for you, my friend. Just try and focus a bit hard, or go to a deaf social, you might end uop meeting the guy of your dreams __________________ This is not a ASL version

08-31-2008, 09:28 PM	#14 (permalink)
JClarke AD addict Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 14,113 Blog Entries: 4	well, it is a bad thing to think about him, once in a while, Taurus -- Best to totally forget him, you are done with him. He is useless for you now, what is the point to have him in your mind, really? Best to think of some happy thoughts instead of him. I have gone trhough many troubles. I'm done though. I know that moving on is hard to do, but with your great effort, you'll do just fine. __________________ This is not a ASL version

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08-31-2008, 08:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
Maria My love and I Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: FLORIDA Posts: 8,725	If, he spends his quality time with " her " than be with you, then it is not worth it to worry about him or have him back. If, I were in your shoes, I wouldn't want him back. I will find someone else who is better than him and of course, I will learn that lesson by finding someone else who is NOT going to be like him. Find a " hot " fish who is more interested in being with you rather than a " cold " fish who is NOT interested in being with you. There's plenty of fishes out there for ya.

09-01-2008, 12:58 AM	#20 (permalink)
APeterson28 Guest Posts: n/a	Maybe you and Taurus should get married

09-01-2008, 02:14 AM	#21 (permalink)
Bebonang Registered User Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Manitoulin Island on Lake Huron in Canada Posts: 1,567	Being single again can be as tough as being divorced or separate. It is a hard and trying time to move on which you are not moving on yet. I understand what Hermes said. You have to find some kind of hobby like going bowling in a deaf social bowling alley. Just go social meeting deaf people to have a good time. You do not have to have a boyfriend if you do not want to. As having sex, it is like losing interest and you can not help that when you don`t want sex. I have a problem with that too when it comes to sex. I am not interest in sex anymore and I am surprise my husband still live with me. Go figure. Just have to find a way to keep you busy so that you won`t think about your ex. Hope that help. Good luck.

09-01-2008, 08:32 AM	#24 (permalink)
omegaman ambient Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Remember what the doorknob said... Posts: 861	Moving on is hard. It is easy to say forget about your ex and move on. I remember saying the same thing to my ex when she told me she how she'd still think and dream about her ex. I guess I never really understood at the time, because sometimes I find myself thinking and dreaming about my ex even though we broke up many moon cycles ago. My only suggestion that I can think of, is to think positive. As much as you loved your ex, your ex cheated on you, and he will probably continue to cheat. I guess it is also a learning experience. You deserve better! __________________