Ever feel so alone even thou you are married?

Mistyrose · 07-23-2008, 09:01 PM

Do any of you ever feel lonely even though you
are married? I know it sounds strange but it
does happen!
Like for example: Your husband/wife does not
communicate with you or share with you about
anything or you and your spouse may do things
on our own like not even going anywhere together?
I know some couples do things separately like
going on vacations by themselves instead of going
together or possibly going with other people.
This type of marriage is more like roommates or living
together like a brother and sister. I have heard this
does happen.
Want to discuss this?

Gemma · 07-23-2008, 09:42 PM

Unfortunately this is much more prevalent than you think it is. It is not strange - it is out there more than we realize.

I have been there - whether it be in my previous marriage or relationships - so that is why I always say "I would rather be alone than be with someone yet feel so alone."

I do realize that every one of us cannot always be in tight connection with that particular significant other but we can keep working on connection. Some simply give up and live together yet lead seperate lives, whether it be emotionally, mentally, spirituality and physically. For me, I cant accept that.

Matilda · 07-24-2008, 04:17 AM

No, my hubby & I do mostly everything together ... go out shopping, cooking, household chores, holidays, watch most TV programs and have great conversations.

Of course, we give each other 'space' every now and again where we go on our own computer/lap-top in different rooms, or I might do some laundry/ironing while he does the car maintenance/mowing lawn.

Pepsi · 07-24-2008, 06:53 AM

That is the way it has been for years for me,I know the feeling my marriage died along time ago.

Mistyrose · 07-24-2008, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemma

Unfortunately this is much more prevalent than you think it is. It is not strange - it is out there more than we realize.

I have been there - whether it be in my previous marriage or relationships - so that is why I always say "I would rather be alone than be with someone yet feel so alone."

I do realize that every one of us cannot always be in tight connection with that particular significant other but we can keep working on connection. Some simply give up and live together yet lead seperate lives, whether it be emotionally, mentally, spirituality and physically. For me, I cant accept that.

I understand and i would not accept that concept either but im
experiencing it. It is very difficult to live like this yet i do not
want to be alone even though im lonely but this situation could
change cuz like you said "I would rather be alone than be with
someone yet feel so alone". Didnt realize that it is more common
out there. Thanks for your input.

Mistyrose · 07-24-2008, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

No, my hubby & I do mostly everything together ... go out shopping, cooking, household chores, holidays, watch most TV programs and have great conversations.

Of course, we give each other 'space' every now and again where we go on our own computer/lap-top in different rooms, or I might do some laundry/ironing while he does the car maintenance/mowing lawn.

Thats the way a marriage should be, do things together and
have fun, especially having good conversations. You are lucky
that you have someone that you can do that. Of course, we
all need some space time, thats good and normal. But not if
you and your spouse just dont it anymore. If your spouse
is constantly taking off to places by himself/herself all the time,
not good sign.

Mistyrose · 07-24-2008, 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi

That is the way it has been for years for me,I know the feeling my marriage died along time ago.

Im sorry about your marriage cuz i know how you feel!
I hope im not being nosy but is your husband hearing or
deaf?
Are you happy with your marriage like that? Im not sure
if i would myself. It is just too lonely.

Pepsi · 07-24-2008, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defee

Im sorry about your marriage cuz i know how you feel!
I hope im not being nosy but is your husband hearing or
deaf?
Are you happy with your marriage like that? Im not sure
if i would myself. It is just too lonely.

Thank,my husband is hearing and we are getting a divorce.I can't wait I am going to be so happy.I just wish that I have not waited so long.

Mistyrose · 07-24-2008, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi

Thank,my husband is hearing and we are getting a divorce.I can't wait I am going to be so happy.I just wish that I have not waited so long.

Oh dear! Im so sorry to hear that. I understand your feeling
about getting out of the marriage, dont blame you at all
since you and your hubby are not happy.
Good luck in your soon to be freedom and i pray that you
will find peace and happiness.

~♥~Pinky~♥~ · 07-24-2008, 11:23 PM

How long you're married? It sound you're happy marriage! I am happy for you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

No, my hubby & I do mostly everything together ... go out shopping, cooking, household chores, holidays, watch most TV programs and have great conversations.

Of course, we give each other 'space' every now and again where we go on our own computer/lap-top in different rooms, or I might do some laundry/ironing while he does the car maintenance/mowing lawn.

Pepsi · 07-24-2008, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defee

Oh dear! Im so sorry to hear that. I understand your feeling
about getting out of the marriage, dont blame you at all
since you and your hubby are not happy.
Good luck in your soon to be freedom and i pray that you
will find peace and happiness.

~♥~Pinky~♥~ · 07-24-2008, 11:27 PM

I'm married for 1 half month now. I am feeling alone when he is at working for second shift. We always have spend time in daytime before he go to work at 4. He came home for dinner for an hour then return to work. And plus he will go back to college next month. He is out of town right now. I can't wait for him to get home tomorrow. We will spend time together alone and communicate.

The most important is faith, communicate and love. We don't like to get divorce. I am hope for my husband to find a right job after graduate. He really want to work for first shift instead second shift.

sara1981 · 07-25-2008, 02:40 AM

mostly married people always kept in marriages and trust for longtimes and more trust some argues for sakes of kids! and got divorces but never trust of spouse!

my parents got argues for sakes of me and my brother when they were so little and i wouldnt bear to watch on my parent's argues of marriages so my parent is no longer marriages! SO my mom got file divorces but my parent got temporary separation till divorces so my parent know they dont together but i love my dad.Sometime my dad visit my mom not everyday just once month.

I told my boyfriend on e-mail messages about future plans but i dont like argues what my mind about of my parents on divorces but i would like to strong marriages for longtimes what i wanted it but i dont wanted rush get married.

my grandma been widow for 19 years since my late grandfather's died and she got remarried in 1995.

Mistyrose · 07-29-2008, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sara1981

mostly married people always kept in marriages and trust for longtimes and more trust some argues for sakes of kids! and got divorces but never trust of spouse!

my parents got argues for sakes of me and my brother when they were so little and i wouldnt bear to watch on my parent's argues of marriages so my parent is no longer marriages! SO my mom got file divorces but my parent got temporary separation till divorces so my parent know they dont together but i love my dad.Sometime my dad visit my mom not everyday just once month.

I told my boyfriend on e-mail messages about future plans but i dont like argues what my mind about of my parents on divorces but i would like to strong marriages for longtimes what i wanted it but i dont wanted rush get married.

my grandma been widow for 19 years since my late grandfather's died and she got remarried in 1995.

Im sorry your parents are divorced but sometimes its best that way
if they dont get along and it would not be good for the kids..looks
like your parents still love each other but cant live together..at least they still see each other..a bit unusual but it does happens. I know your
parents love you very much so remember that, ok? Smile!

Celticty · 07-29-2008, 04:39 PM

There is a book that will help with this problem actually. it is called The Five Love Languages

Mistyrose · 07-29-2008, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Celticty

There is a book that will help with this problem actually. it is called The Five Love Languages

Oh really? ok, i will see if i cant find this book.
It probably will help...thanks!

cabaca · 07-30-2008, 01:22 PM

If I feel lonely I'd tell & discuss with my hubby about it. And go on a "date" like dinner & movie or attend an event/festival/museum. If still feel lonely, I go do something that I enjoy to do by myself, i.e., painting, reading, flyfishfing, watch a movie, or work in backyard tend my flowers and roses, whichever I feel like. Or grab a friend and chat, chat & chat!!

I don't need to depend on my hubby for happiness. I have to be happy and enjoy within myself and have a relationship with heavenly Father. My hubby & respect each other for our own space and need time together, too. Been married since Jan 2008 after being together for 2 years.

Mistyrose · 07-30-2008, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cabaca

If I feel lonely I'd tell & discuss with my hubby about it. And go on a "date" like dinner & movie or attend an event/festival/museum. If still feel lonely, I go do something that I enjoy to do by myself, i.e., painting, reading, flyfishfing, watch a movie, or work in backyard tend my flowers and roses, whichever I feel like. Or grab a friend and chat, chat & chat!!

I don't need to depend on my hubby for happiness. I have to be happy and enjoy within myself and have a relationship with heavenly Father. My hubby & respect each other for our own space and need time together, too. Been married since Jan 2008 after being together for 2 years.

Yes you are absolutely right and i agree that you and your spouse
should have some space time and time together is good. Also good
communications between you and your hubby/wife is very important
too.
You are lucky and God bless you and your hubby.

cabaca · 07-31-2008, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defee

Yes you are absolutely right and i agree that you and your spouse
should have some space time and time together is good. Also good
communications between you and your hubby/wife is very important
too.
You are lucky and God bless you and your hubby.

Oh thank you Defee, you a sweetie

God bless you, too!

Mistyrose · 07-31-2008, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cabaca

Oh thank you Defee, you a sweetie

God bless you, too!

Oh you are very welcome!
Thanks for the compliment.
Im blessed to have God in my life.
Smile!

Matilda · 07-31-2008, 11:45 PM

Defee ...

I hope you don't mind me putting up an uplifting article I received via e-mail -

"It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him look at his watch, and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be".

Mistyrose · 08-01-2008, 08:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

Defee ...

I hope you don't mind me putting up an uplifting article I received via e-mail -

"It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him look at his watch, and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be".

Awww, thats so beautiful!! Thats how devoted he is to his wife
and he is a rare gem, too!

Thanks for sharing this wonderful and inspiring story with us,
Matilda

Matilda · 08-01-2008, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Defee

Awww, thats so beautiful!! Thats how devoted he is to his wife
and he is a rare gem, too!

Thanks for sharing this wonderful and inspiring story with us,
Matilda

You're welcome!

Liebling:-))) · 08-01-2008, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

No, my hubby & I do mostly everything together ... go out shopping, cooking, household chores, holidays, watch most TV programs and have great conversations.

Of course, we give each other 'space' every now and again where we go on our own computer/lap-top in different rooms, or I might do some laundry/ironing while he does the car maintenance/mowing lawn.

Ditto -

I go away for the weekends with girlfriends for break sometimes... I would say twice or three time a year. I do my hobbies as the same as he do his hobbies.

My hubby and his mates will go off for the weekends to visit their Spa friend this October. It does us good for break...

I have no time to think about "lonely" - I have something to do to get "lonely" off...

Kalista · 08-01-2008, 01:42 PM

Well, it is sometime nice to be alone with friends to keep my low profile. Otherwise, I recently promote a new position, work too many hours to focus on paperwork to make sure I did task due of those paperwork. I drove home, saw other couple hands holding and kissing at the park, beach or sidewalk. Naturally, I desire to have one as fun and company. I do not know, what is the romantic looking like since I become widow.

However, I work many hours significantly make me depress and lonely. I do miss the fun socialize as balance in my life. I usually came home at midnight and woke up at 5am. Saw a beautiful flowers, tree and sun outside. I do miss the environment so much as balance in my life with friends or family.

Relationship sometime pain in the neck but we have to accept for who he is.

Do not have to married or a serious relationship... Can be a friend as dating... There is a very rare man out there who willing be friend more than anything else. I hardly am willing date with a guy nowadays because they are not my type in my area.

I like one guy very much. Unforunately, the long distance relationship would not work.

I try so hard to be not too picky around the guys. I do miss how beautiful romantic ever I see in the movies or public. I am out of practice!

I am worried being a lonely when I become 70’s or 80’s years old.

07-23-2008, 09:01 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mistyrose Premium Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: NewYork/sometimes Okla Posts: 3,517	Ever feel so alone even thou you are married? Do any of you ever feel lonely even though you are married? I know it sounds strange but it does happen! Like for example: Your husband/wife does not communicate with you or share with you about anything or you and your spouse may do things on our own like not even going anywhere together? I know some couples do things separately like going on vacations by themselves instead of going together or possibly going with other people. This type of marriage is more like roommates or living together like a brother and sister. I have heard this does happen. Want to discuss this? __________________ Im not deaf, im just ignoring you!

07-24-2008, 11:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
~♥~Pinky~♥~ Registered User Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 4,679	I'm married for 1 half month now. I am feeling alone when he is at working for second shift. We always have spend time in daytime before he go to work at 4. He came home for dinner for an hour then return to work. And plus he will go back to college next month. He is out of town right now. I can't wait for him to get home tomorrow. We will spend time together alone and communicate. The most important is faith, communicate and love. We don't like to get divorce. I am hope for my husband to find a right job after graduate. He really want to work for first shift instead second shift. __________________

07-25-2008, 02:40 AM	#13 (permalink)
sara1981 Batista's fans Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: North Little Rock,Ar Posts: 3,282	mostly married people always kept in marriages and trust for longtimes and more trust some argues for sakes of kids! and got divorces but never trust of spouse! my parents got argues for sakes of me and my brother when they were so little and i wouldnt bear to watch on my parent's argues of marriages so my parent is no longer marriages! SO my mom got file divorces but my parent got temporary separation till divorces so my parent know they dont together but i love my dad.Sometime my dad visit my mom not everyday just once month. I told my boyfriend on e-mail messages about future plans but i dont like argues what my mind about of my parents on divorces but i would like to strong marriages for longtimes what i wanted it but i dont wanted rush get married. my grandma been widow for 19 years since my late grandfather's died and she got remarried in 1995. __________________

08-01-2008, 01:42 PM	#25 (permalink)
Kalista Premium Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 7,470	Well, it is sometime nice to be alone with friends to keep my low profile. Otherwise, I recently promote a new position, work too many hours to focus on paperwork to make sure I did task due of those paperwork. I drove home, saw other couple hands holding and kissing at the park, beach or sidewalk. Naturally, I desire to have one as fun and company. I do not know, what is the romantic looking like since I become widow. However, I work many hours significantly make me depress and lonely. I do miss the fun socialize as balance in my life. I usually came home at midnight and woke up at 5am. Saw a beautiful flowers, tree and sun outside. I do miss the environment so much as balance in my life with friends or family. Relationship sometime pain in the neck but we have to accept for who he is. Do not have to married or a serious relationship... Can be a friend as dating... There is a very rare man out there who willing be friend more than anything else. I hardly am willing date with a guy nowadays because they are not my type in my area. I like one guy very much. Unforunately, the long distance relationship would not work. I try so hard to be not too picky around the guys. I do miss how beautiful romantic ever I see in the movies or public. I am out of practice! I am worried being a lonely when I become 70’s or 80’s years old. __________________

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07-23-2008, 09:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
Gemma Registered User Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 941	Unfortunately this is much more prevalent than you think it is. It is not strange - it is out there more than we realize. I have been there - whether it be in my previous marriage or relationships - so that is why I always say "I would rather be alone than be with someone yet feel so alone." I do realize that every one of us cannot always be in tight connection with that particular significant other but we can keep working on connection. Some simply give up and live together yet lead seperate lives, whether it be emotionally, mentally, spirituality and physically. For me, I cant accept that.

07-24-2008, 04:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
Matilda Boxing Kangaroo "Jack" Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 2,176	No, my hubby & I do mostly everything together ... go out shopping, cooking, household chores, holidays, watch most TV programs and have great conversations. Of course, we give each other 'space' every now and again where we go on our own computer/lap-top in different rooms, or I might do some laundry/ironing while he does the car maintenance/mowing lawn.

07-24-2008, 06:53 AM	#4 (permalink)
Pepsi The One and Only Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 3,406	That is the way it has been for years for me,I know the feeling my marriage died along time ago.

07-29-2008, 04:39 PM	#15 (permalink)
Celticty ASL Student/Future Interp Join Date: May 2008 Location: Kent, Washington Posts: 528	There is a book that will help with this problem actually. it is called The Five Love Languages

07-30-2008, 01:22 PM	#17 (permalink)
cabaca Having a good day? I hope Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Where the Columbines grow... Posts: 586	If I feel lonely I'd tell & discuss with my hubby about it. And go on a "date" like dinner & movie or attend an event/festival/museum. If still feel lonely, I go do something that I enjoy to do by myself, i.e., painting, reading, flyfishfing, watch a movie, or work in backyard tend my flowers and roses, whichever I feel like. Or grab a friend and chat, chat & chat!! I don't need to depend on my hubby for happiness. I have to be happy and enjoy within myself and have a relationship with heavenly Father. My hubby & respect each other for our own space and need time together, too. Been married since Jan 2008 after being together for 2 years.

07-31-2008, 11:45 PM	#21 (permalink)
Matilda Boxing Kangaroo "Jack" Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 2,176	Defee ... I hope you don't mind me putting up an uplifting article I received via e-mail - "It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him look at his watch, and decided since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him for five years now. I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.' I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be".