Dating Before a Divorce

Pepsi · 07-09-2008, 12:02 AM

What do you think about dating before a divorce?

PowerON · 07-09-2008, 12:36 AM

either mate would feel betray of beyond.

Don't do that.

Cheri · 07-09-2008, 12:41 AM

You mean during separation? if so, I don't see a problem with it.

Pepsi · 07-09-2008, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheri

You mean during separation? if so, I don't see a problem with it.

Yes that's what I mean when the marriage is over.

Freaky Cat · 07-09-2008, 12:57 AM

If you are separated and not living with your husband/wife- i dont see nothing wrong with dating someone.. but i was told it was big NO NO? some said its alrighty.... some said its better to wait till your divorce is final.. but i have seen LOT of people dating.. so i guess it s not a big deal?? hmm... oh well.. if u met someone you liked and he/she asked u out.. go for it... just take your time and HAVE fun..

Jiro · 07-09-2008, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freaky Cat

If you are separated and not living with your husband/wife- i dont see nothing wrong with dating someone.. but i was told it was big NO NO? some said its alrighty.... some said its better to wait till your divorce is final.. but i have seen LOT of people dating.. so i guess it s not a big deal?? hmm... oh well.. if u met someone you liked and he/she asked u out.. go for it... just take your time and HAVE fun..

it's 21st century with a new social trend. everything's ok anyway lol

Freaky Cat · 07-09-2008, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiro123

it's 21st century with a new social trend. everything's ok anyway lol

lol thats good to know... I think?? heheh!

Tousi · 07-09-2008, 01:01 AM

It seems to me folks in the middle of a divorce would be so busy attending to that, to bring closure and take a deep breath before going ahead with something new and major in their life.

So what's the rush, anyway?

Jiro · 07-09-2008, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freaky Cat

lol thats good to know... I think?? heheh!

yes it is. it is OK lol.

Maria · 07-09-2008, 01:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi

Yes that's what I mean when the marriage is over.

Your thread stated " Dating before a divorce " -- which one issue this thread is talking about ?

***VamPyroX*** · 07-09-2008, 01:22 AM

You mean... you both plan on getting a divorce, so you date other people?

If so, I wouldn't recommend it. It only makes things worse than it is.

What if a couple were planning on getting a divorce, so the guy starts dating another woman. The wife could use that against him when it comes to settlements.

Matilda · 07-09-2008, 01:28 AM

I knew quite a few people who were separated, go out on dates. It seems to be accepted in our society.

But if you are still living in the same house with hubby even though you're getting a divorce, don't go dating yet otherwise it would be awkward and jealousy issues would arise.

Tousi · 07-09-2008, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

I knew quite a few people who were separated, go out on dates. It seems to be accepted in our society.

But if you are still living in the same house with hubby even though you're getting a divorce, don't go dating yet otherwise it would be awkward and jealousy issues would arise.

Mathilda, just for the sake of argument, what would be the point of jealousy raising it's ugly head between two people in the process of divorcing one another?

SCBassist · 07-09-2008, 03:40 AM

If you are independent from any living arrangements with him and separated, its fine. However, be prepared for any reactions if your to be ex sees you in another relationship, especially considering the timing, he may get pretty jealous feeling dropped on the spot and easily replaced. If you like the drama, it won't matter even if you flaunt your new love interest in front of him, otherwise, if you cant handle it, keep it on the sidelines.

Wokamuka · 07-09-2008, 05:02 AM

The more messy the divorce, the better off you are in not dating.

Pepsi · 07-09-2008, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maria

Your thread stated " Dating before a divorce " -- which one issue this thread is talking about ?

When I say the marriage is over I mean that there is no saving it.

Pepsi · 07-09-2008, 07:08 AM

My husband can see who he wants and I can see who I want,we both agree to a divorce.Want to hear something funny? I made this thread after midnight and today I been marry 28 years.

Pepsi · 07-09-2008, 07:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SCBassist

If you are independent from any living arrangements with him and separated, its fine. However, be prepared for any reactions if your to be ex sees you in another relationship, especially considering the timing, he may get pretty jealous feeling dropped on the spot and easily replaced. If you like the drama, it won't matter even if you flaunt your new love interest in front of him, otherwise, if you cant handle it, keep it on the sidelines.

I am moving out,as far as jealous and hurt feeling there is none.

Pepsi · 07-09-2008, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

You mean... you both plan on getting a divorce, so you date other people?

If so, I wouldn't recommend it. It only makes things worse than it is.

What if a couple were planning on getting a divorce, so the guy starts dating another woman. The wife could use that against him when it comes to settlements.

I will be nice about it because my children ask me not to hurt their father as long as there is no BS I just want the divorce.

PowerON · 07-09-2008, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

You mean... you both plan on getting a divorce, so you date other people?

If so, I wouldn't recommend it. It only makes things worse than it is.

What if a couple were planning on getting a divorce, so the guy starts dating another woman. The wife could use that against him when it comes to settlements.

That's one of reason, they shouldn't do that. It show message that either mate want to hurt each other.

KarissaMann05 · 07-09-2008, 09:58 AM

That's depend...

I personally think they should wait until they are divcore.

I won't be surprise if #A person dates #C person, while #A and #B are sereprate, which is causing #B to feel hurt/offend/jealous...

Most common quote; "everything will be fine". Well, not always. =/

Koala · 07-09-2008, 10:05 AM

I say go for it. I don't see anything wrong with dating during the seperation as long the marriage is really over as long he don't mind you goes out dating. The same token as you don't mind him going out dating. You need to go out to enjoy yourself and being in company too.
It is best to meet your date outside somewhere and not at your door, that if you are living under the same roof as your soon to be ex. Just at that moment while you are in the bathroom or in the bedroom getting ready, your soon to be ex answer the door first to see your date there may make both feel uncomfortable, kind of edgy feeling.
Also avoid places your soon to be ex likely to go to for dining his date such as his favorite place so that he don't accuse you for spying on him. That could flares up into a nasty divorce accusing each other for this or that. That has happened to one of my friend a long time ago. She went out with a couple of her friends and 2 kids to a restaurant having a get together. Then half way through her meal, one of the kids told her that her soon to be ex is dining with his date not far from their table and when one of the kid been to the bathroom and then back to the table, her ex spotted my friend at her table causing her to hurried up to leave. Then later, he accused her for spying on him and got very nasty to her. She didn't even know he was dining his date there. So yeah be careful, if you see him there with his date, just go elsewhere. It's better be safe.

Byrdie714 · 07-09-2008, 10:36 AM

I would wait until the divorce is final because if you are fighting for child custody, it could get messy as ex's do use the fact that their partners were dating while still married to them.

Cheri · 07-09-2008, 11:01 AM

Every individual is different, You cannot compare every marriage spouse to another spouse. If the marriage is honestly over for good and there's no chance of reconsider then the spouse can concentrate on moving on even if spouse is emotionally strong enough to start dating. People do it all the time. There are absolutely no fast rules about when you should start dating again after your relationship ends. Some people believe that it can take up to two years to get over a divorce, but that depends on how much the spouse had loved their husbands or wives.

shel90 · 07-09-2008, 11:12 AM

My ex hubby moved in with his girlfriend right after we split up and lived with her while my ex and I were still legally married. AT first, I was jealous even though the marriage was over and I wasnt in love with him. I think I was jealous cuz he had someone and I didnt but I had chosen not to jump into a serious relationship right away. Emotions do weird things..lol.

I dated while legally married (ex hubby had already moved out by then) but didnt bring my dates around when my daughter was around cuz it was too fast. Stayed single but dated for 4 years before getting into a serious relationship with my current hubby.

I refused to get into a serious relationship immediately for several reasons...one was cuz I needed to "discover" myself as I had lost my identity in the marriage, learn how to depend on myself (I had been with my ex since I was 17 so I never experienced depending on myself completely), and I was still legally married so I didnt feel right to get into a serious relationship right then. I wanted a complete clean break from my old life before becoming serious with someone else.

My ex's relationship with his 1st girlfriend after our split lasted 5 years before falling apart cuz it was a rebound relationship or so what his ex told me. By then, I had already moved on and starting my new life with my current hubby.

What worked for me may not work for u or others. It is really individual.

AlleyCat · 07-09-2008, 01:37 PM

It also depends on what state you live in. If you live in a no-fault state then dating, etc. doesn't come into play when figuring divorce settlements. However, that may not hold true for custody issues because the environment the children are in with their parents (and with the people they're dating) does matter.

As far as whether it's ethically/morally right .. I think if a husband/wife are separated for the purpose of taking a breather and trying to work on the issues in their marriage, then they should NOT be dating others. Because then they're not giving their own marriage a chance to survive.

But if the same husband/wife are separated and have declared this marriage is over for good, then I think the issue of dating all depends on whether you're emotionally ready to be with someone else so soon. In my case, when my ex and I split, it was for good. So I did start dating others nearly right away, but it was just very casual as I was not at all ready for another serious relationship. Now that it's been a little over 2 years since we split and divorced, I am finally involved with a wonderful guy.

highlands · 07-09-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pepsi

What do you think about dating before a divorce?

I would wait for the final divorce and to be single

07-09-2008, 12:02 AM	#1 (permalink)
Pepsi The One and Only Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 3,406	Dating Before a Divorce What do you think about dating before a divorce?

07-09-2008, 12:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
PowerON Please don't click me! D: Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Would like to live at Fort Davis, TX Posts: 4,780 Blog Entries: 1	either mate would feel betray of beyond. Don't do that. __________________ • [Illustrator.Blog-alloon.com] • Don't shoot me! I'm only blogger!

07-09-2008, 12:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cheri Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 21,025	You mean during separation? if so, I don't see a problem with it. __________________

07-09-2008, 12:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
Freaky Cat My cat Oreo :) Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: ArKaNsAs Posts: 10,182	If you are separated and not living with your husband/wife- i dont see nothing wrong with dating someone.. but i was told it was big NO NO? some said its alrighty.... some said its better to wait till your divorce is final.. but i have seen LOT of people dating.. so i guess it s not a big deal?? hmm... oh well.. if u met someone you liked and he/she asked u out.. go for it... just take your time and HAVE fun.. __________________ When you miss me just look up to the night sky and remember, I'm like a star; sometimes you can't see me, but I'm always there! Freaky Cat's Blog

07-09-2008, 01:22 AM	#11 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 27,844	You mean... you both plan on getting a divorce, so you date other people? If so, I wouldn't recommend it. It only makes things worse than it is. What if a couple were planning on getting a divorce, so the guy starts dating another woman. The wife could use that against him when it comes to settlements. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

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07-09-2008, 01:01 AM	#8 (permalink)
Tousi Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 8,240	It seems to me folks in the middle of a divorce would be so busy attending to that, to bring closure and take a deep breath before going ahead with something new and major in their life. So what's the rush, anyway?

07-09-2008, 01:28 AM	#12 (permalink)
Matilda Boxing Kangaroo "Jack" Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 2,176	I knew quite a few people who were separated, go out on dates. It seems to be accepted in our society. But if you are still living in the same house with hubby even though you're getting a divorce, don't go dating yet otherwise it would be awkward and jealousy issues would arise.

07-09-2008, 03:40 AM	#14 (permalink)
SCBassist ...And your point is? Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Spartanburg, SC Posts: 885	If you are independent from any living arrangements with him and separated, its fine. However, be prepared for any reactions if your to be ex sees you in another relationship, especially considering the timing, he may get pretty jealous feeling dropped on the spot and easily replaced. If you like the drama, it won't matter even if you flaunt your new love interest in front of him, otherwise, if you cant handle it, keep it on the sidelines. __________________ Complaints Division Here

07-09-2008, 05:02 AM	#15 (permalink)
Wokamuka 1.20.09 : end of an error Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: U.S.A. Posts: 1,827	The more messy the divorce, the better off you are in not dating. __________________

07-09-2008, 07:08 AM	#17 (permalink)
Pepsi The One and Only Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 3,406	My husband can see who he wants and I can see who I want,we both agree to a divorce.Want to hear something funny? I made this thread after midnight and today I been marry 28 years.

07-09-2008, 09:58 AM	#21 (permalink)
KarissaMann05 Jessie's Character Join Date: May 2007 Location: Oregon Posts: 2,841 Blog Entries: 7	That's depend... I personally think they should wait until they are divcore. I won't be surprise if #A person dates #C person, while #A and #B are sereprate, which is causing #B to feel hurt/offend/jealous... Most common quote; "everything will be fine". Well, not always. =/ __________________ Credit by KarissaMann05

07-09-2008, 10:05 AM	#22 (permalink)
Koala Cuddly bear Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 4,422	I say go for it. I don't see anything wrong with dating during the seperation as long the marriage is really over as long he don't mind you goes out dating. The same token as you don't mind him going out dating. You need to go out to enjoy yourself and being in company too. It is best to meet your date outside somewhere and not at your door, that if you are living under the same roof as your soon to be ex. Just at that moment while you are in the bathroom or in the bedroom getting ready, your soon to be ex answer the door first to see your date there may make both feel uncomfortable, kind of edgy feeling. Also avoid places your soon to be ex likely to go to for dining his date such as his favorite place so that he don't accuse you for spying on him. That could flares up into a nasty divorce accusing each other for this or that. That has happened to one of my friend a long time ago. She went out with a couple of her friends and 2 kids to a restaurant having a get together. Then half way through her meal, one of the kids told her that her soon to be ex is dining with his date not far from their table and when one of the kid been to the bathroom and then back to the table, her ex spotted my friend at her table causing her to hurried up to leave. Then later, he accused her for spying on him and got very nasty to her. She didn't even know he was dining his date there. So yeah be careful, if you see him there with his date, just go elsewhere. It's better be safe. __________________

07-09-2008, 10:36 AM	#23 (permalink)
Byrdie714 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Pacific County, Washington Posts: 5,116	I would wait until the divorce is final because if you are fighting for child custody, it could get messy as ex's do use the fact that their partners were dating while still married to them.

07-09-2008, 11:01 AM	#24 (permalink)
Cheri Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 21,025	Every individual is different, You cannot compare every marriage spouse to another spouse. If the marriage is honestly over for good and there's no chance of reconsider then the spouse can concentrate on moving on even if spouse is emotionally strong enough to start dating. People do it all the time. There are absolutely no fast rules about when you should start dating again after your relationship ends. Some people believe that it can take up to two years to get over a divorce, but that depends on how much the spouse had loved their husbands or wives. __________________

07-09-2008, 11:12 AM	#25 (permalink)
shel90 Sun Whorshipper Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A Desert Rat that has found herself in Maryland Posts: 16,119 Blog Entries: 1	My ex hubby moved in with his girlfriend right after we split up and lived with her while my ex and I were still legally married. AT first, I was jealous even though the marriage was over and I wasnt in love with him. I think I was jealous cuz he had someone and I didnt but I had chosen not to jump into a serious relationship right away. Emotions do weird things..lol. I dated while legally married (ex hubby had already moved out by then) but didnt bring my dates around when my daughter was around cuz it was too fast. Stayed single but dated for 4 years before getting into a serious relationship with my current hubby. I refused to get into a serious relationship immediately for several reasons...one was cuz I needed to "discover" myself as I had lost my identity in the marriage, learn how to depend on myself (I had been with my ex since I was 17 so I never experienced depending on myself completely), and I was still legally married so I didnt feel right to get into a serious relationship right then. I wanted a complete clean break from my old life before becoming serious with someone else. My ex's relationship with his 1st girlfriend after our split lasted 5 years before falling apart cuz it was a rebound relationship or so what his ex told me. By then, I had already moved on and starting my new life with my current hubby. What worked for me may not work for u or others. It is really individual. __________________ ~Shel~ "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

07-09-2008, 01:37 PM	#26 (permalink)
AlleyCat Chicken in a Cat Suit Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 883	It also depends on what state you live in. If you live in a no-fault state then dating, etc. doesn't come into play when figuring divorce settlements. However, that may not hold true for custody issues because the environment the children are in with their parents (and with the people they're dating) does matter. As far as whether it's ethically/morally right .. I think if a husband/wife are separated for the purpose of taking a breather and trying to work on the issues in their marriage, then they should NOT be dating others. Because then they're not giving their own marriage a chance to survive. But if the same husband/wife are separated and have declared this marriage is over for good, then I think the issue of dating all depends on whether you're emotionally ready to be with someone else so soon. In my case, when my ex and I split, it was for good. So I did start dating others nearly right away, but it was just very casual as I was not at all ready for another serious relationship. Now that it's been a little over 2 years since we split and divorced, I am finally involved with a wonderful guy. __________________ Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.