Huscurian

Even if she's wrong, it's better to diplomatically write your argument instead of sending a flying expletive her way.

Deafness

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Grummer

I DID wrote without any expletives...check your facts.
geez

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"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

dereksbicycles

Some people want are willing to understand me. Some of them just wants to be rude. Go figure. I don't want to have conversations with people who are rude.

SneakerNet

You know you all pretty much aware of it that deaf population are very sparse, very small group of deaf people spreaded all over USA. If Deaf population are majority and hearing population are minority, then that will be a different story. Sadly it's other way around and I'm sure you may or dreamed that there's a perfect love one somewhere 2000 miles away. What are the chance of finding her? Almost nil. Because it's someone out there and it's too sparse. Even both are on SSI/SDDI, no job, regardless if they are intelligent or not, they maybe a perfect match. It's a needle in the haysack somewhere out there.

When I look for a woman, I look for deaf woman first but always ended up hearing woman cuz there are thousands of hearing women are with in 20 miles radius that are perfect match for me, you know? Finally I have to seek out much farther and if there are special deaf event, small or big one, I have to drive/fly out to be in that social events and that is the only chance to meet special woman. I finally met that special deaf woman who live 9 hours away from where I live..not easy and we have to compromise about moving in together. So, it worked out very nicely.

Grummer

you got it

just because we're doesnt mean we cant reason others motives or suss how others really treats us, but again at times, if we had more skills (somehow but we missed out on osmosis learning) we could encourage others to tolerate and come half way (often time we get mistakened as intolerant! rme)

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

DeafTim

You're right as mail. I know all about it. I explained it how I grew up and where I went to schools. It was very tough for me b/c I didnt know anybody in my town where I grew up in. I knew names and that was it.

I dont have any sisters,either. If you have sister, your chance is higher to get a gf as well.

__________________
It might be,it could be...It is! A homerun! HOLY COW!!

Harry Caray

Mitt: I have 5 point plan

President Obama: Mitt doesnt have 5 point plan,
He has one point plan!

(ZINGER)

Mitt Romney is a scam!!

Sweet_Candice86

@Huscurian I knew there was something I liked about you. for showing these guys how t respond respectfully to a comment even if you disagree with it. I'm tired of the guys who think they have to disrespect me to get with me. For one thing nobody will be getting with me ever again. I'm looking for a stable lasting relationship with a guy who respect me as a human being and a woman and who will respect my 5 year old daughter as well. I may be 25 but I'm not interested in partying and "getting laid". So again I will say for giving us good girls hope, that there are still good guys in this world. MAY GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU AND YOURS SAFE!!!!

****As for @DeafTim and @Grummer and @Kaliphornia you guys need to grow up and learn how to respect women, no good woman in her right mind would ever choose to date either of you. You 3 are part of the reason that women have lost hope in the male population. Its guys like who have hurt women like me our whole lives. I pray that you can see the error of your ways and become better men.

Grummer

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

DeafTim

:sure:

__________________
It might be,it could be...It is! A homerun! HOLY COW!!

Harry Caray

Mitt: I have 5 point plan

President Obama: Mitt doesnt have 5 point plan,
He has one point plan!

(ZINGER)

Mitt Romney is a scam!!

KarissaMann05

... How come?

__________________
"Pragmatic language is a vital social skill that enables the school-aged child to navigate their way through demanding social situations." -- R. Owens

Grummer

Dont worry Deaftim, she hasnt meet real men, only pussy asslicker pansy types LOL...
let her go with the fruitboy LMAO

Real chicks Digs Bad boys! not metromorons

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

Grummer

metromorons is just a newer version of 'rich and available' willing to give you everything even if this means to 'play the obedient 19th century catholic husband'..and..they dress like fags...because city culture is influenced by fruits,,,just one look at the set of glasses can tell you alot...lmao

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

Huscurian

Wow, quite the statistician you are, DeafTim! Got any proof that having siblings do increase the chances of having a girlfriend? Possibly by an officiated government study? From Cambridge? Princeton? Go on, offer me this proof.

DeafTim, I have had two sisters and have not had a girlfriend for the majority of my lifetime. Does a sweetheart in 3rd or 4th grade count? Probably not since it wasn't officiated and we didn't know what love really was at that age. I'm 29 years old so I would be 28 and 1/2 down the road single...

I have tried to ask a couple of girls out, successfully did, but bombed on my first dates. I also have tried to get to know one girl at a dance and later asked her to prom; she really really wanted to go with me but her mom prevented her from going because truthfully her mom was right. Her daughter does not know me very very well and our coming straight from Texas stuck in the middle of Nowhere, Montana isn't helping our 'budding' relationship. She left Montana a year after so I never saw her again. My lack of understanding in dating and how it works are pretty much most of what causes my failures to be able to cement a relationship.

I guess I have to say this: some deaf people are so amazing at connecting with other girls that they have no siblings, some others which have them do too; and others do so badly with or without their siblings. Your quote has effectively diminished your credibility on this thread because 1) You're not a qualified sociologist, 2) you're not endorsed nor officiated by the government to make a study, and 3) until you have proof, your quote means nothing but your own opinion.

It is true that deaf people lag behind when it comes to the dating arena. We learn a lot of it later on in life while hearing people surpass us in this area. It's the truth. So many deaf people can't date early because they are missing out the cognitive cues, clues, and our ability to be aware of what the opposite sex wants. We're not retarded, true; but our deafness is what retards our ability to learn things that we can't even remember in Kindergarten because 1) the deaf person in question were in a mainstream school, 2) the teacher spoke, never signed.

My sister can remember the cues of dating when she was in Kindergarten because she read about it, heard about it, and picked up the "subtlety" of those cues. We can't. We are visual, we see past the big picture sometimes and miss out the most crucial information. Just like a movie without captioning, a lot of "ad-libbing" dialogue, and nothing but our perception to try to make up the story as we go along.

For starters, you need to learn how to do better around girls. It's not the girls that's the problem. It's you. If you can't see the problems, I'll list them for you:

1) You talk about how you wanted a deaf girl but no kids. Granted, that's sexual lust but not all girls want to have sex and no kids. Those who do are women who are putting it off and realizing they're missing out on motherhood. Most women want kids because it gives them a deeper level, an intimate connection with their spouses, and naturally gives them that yearning they have since playing with dolls, wondering what is it like to have a boyfriend at a young age, what it's like to get married, what kind of dress does she want to get married in, etc. Women are mental in a good way about this and having sex with a man, who's deaf like her, but wants no kids... You'd be hard-pressed to find her wanting to stay in with you.
2) Your statements, very scientific, like the one you posted about having a greater chance of getting a girlfriend is through having siblings are absolutely very ridiculous. Seriously, DeafTim. Stop being the scientist! Try to think outside of the box and realize that just because we have no siblings doesn't mean we can't get a girlfriend. There are men who are motherless, fatherless, sibling-less who have had girlfriends, gotten married, and became happy!
3) Your arrogance and level of misogyny is what's making most women on AllDeaf.com very pissed off. They may either 1) think of leaving, 2) stay but hope for the best you stop acting like a child and start realizing that women are not the kind who desire to be "oppressed", "whipped", "beaten", or "sexual objects to be controlled" just to be proved that men are right, and 3) ignore you altogether with others, and chat with others as if you don't exist. They can play this one for very long and it won't be a game. It'll be a reality.

And if you read my past previous post about to understand girls better, I wrote this here:

Not only that but there's more to it and under the surface that you need to learn how to appreciate. Consider dating an art form if you will and mastering it can help you but first, drop your arrogance, misogyny, and other forms of selfish pride... You're a work in progress if you put your first foot forward.

You're welcome, Candice.

I did see your posts before. Despite the operative word wrote, you actually created one here:

I did say that you need to word your sentences diplomatically to able to diffuse the situation and ensure that you two are on equal footing. Such writing must have been sorely missed when you attended English for the first time in high school. Writing a truly diplomatic paragraph takes time, practice, and skill.

Interesting, Grummer. It's all you right now. You can say that a girl is a "bitch" but socially, it is considered unacceptable if you want a girlfriend. There are rules we've already developed at breaking light-speed that once cemented, you need to know what rules to follow, what not to follow. Calling a girl a bitch while dating is not very good on her terms unless she's the one who's 'using you' to get what she wants and will sleep around with other guys without your "express permission" because she does not give a care about you at all.

You know, Grummer, the statement you made about women who love hearing it while having sex, producing children, then leeching the fathers out of their $$$.... It proves that you are more jaded than you'll ever be. The bitterness, malice, and anger you'll have will not give you the girl you desire so much and need right now, most especially one who will not leave you, milk you out of your $$$ but want your love. The 'good girls' usually leave out the ones who are mean, jaded, bitter and you're part of the rejected genepool. To be honest, I think it'll happen to you someday because your perception of what women are nowadays are simply striking and something girls will avoid. And let's not forget, their intuition. They can smell your jadedness, bitterness miles away and will run from you.

Huscurian

Your choice, Derek.

What Katz4Life was trying to say is that committed relationships never were games. Dating is a process that you go through. It's a building foundation of what the both of you like, dislike, understand, don't understand, etc. It's the bridge that brings you two together.

If you're seriously contemplating a committed relationship with a girlfriend, it's better not to think of it as a game and level up up to Godlike status so that your girl will kneel, fawn over you, and worship you as her sex god. Granted, you may not have thought of this but I was giving a picture that does sound negative in an educational sense.

A committed relationship are never games. War games may be for boys and that's fine when you're in the military having to conduct those types of engagements to become familiar with military protocols, etc., but a committed relationship? Come on... The reason why girls do not like men is because of the games men play! Granted, dating may ensure light banter, witty repartee, or flirtation to a point and it's great. Girls love that. They love a guy who can listen, remark on what they talked about earlier, and notice the small things that girls may not have thought of but love to be noticed about. For instance, telling a girl, "Hey! Nice boobs! You got the perfect size!" is going to get you a hard smack, a disgusted look, or a scream "PERVERT!" in the middle of a mall. You need to not look at the most obvious body parts and start looking to what she has on her person. For instance, if you have never seen her carry a nice piece of bracelet and she recently bought it, why not ask her, "Hey! That's a nice bracelet you got there... I recall that you didn't have a bracelet before; did you buy it?" That can get her attention. Some things she wants to be noticed, some other things she doesn't. Not all women think the same, want to be noticed for the same things; you have to stand out from the crowd!

Mind games are a big major no-no. You can't toy with a girl and lie to her. Some men do this on a regular basis. Serial cheaters use this type of game to keep a girl "in line" when in fact she'll find out one way or another. Abusers also use this type of game too, most especially to keep a committed relationship under his iron fist. There was a news article a few years ago about a man who kept abusing his wife for years. She became so heavily dependent on him. One day, he came home drunk and started abusing her. She ended up bleeding and left for dead in the middle of the snow. Neighbors came around and finally paramedics took her to the hospital. She barely survived. She actually said to the police that she loved him, she refused to press charges against him. And this was going on for YEARS of her life and neighbors couldn't help her because the husband was aggressive, very much knowledgeable about laws and trespassing, etc. This type of mind game is so powerful it'd chill any good man and any sensible woman. Take a look at an article about UK sex slaves and how powerful it is for a man to coerce a girl to go with him, even when she's in high school: Sex trafficking in the UK: one woman's horrific story of kidnap, rape, beatings and prostitution | UK news | The Observer

Derek, we're living in an age where sexual/physical abuse, trafficking, rapes, murders are occurring at a faster rate. The reason why more men are becoming more distrusted is not because of good men but because of past relationships with men they didn't trust, men who bought off sex slaves for services, abused their wives and had an infamous renown among other neighbors. The more it occurs, the more it frightens girls and women to want to trust men. It would be reasonable to accept why women are putting off men more, are asking that men be friends with them first, and that their distrust has to be understood from their point of view, not yours!

You need to understand that committed relationships TAKE TIME! You can't ask a girl to hurry up, bend over backwards, and accept you. For all she knows, you could be a man knocking on her door, kidnapping her and selling her to a strange nation for money; a rapist who masks himself as a worker: Sue Weaver’s Story | Sue Weaver C.A.U.S.E. , a pedophile who preys on single women with children: Annie: Sexual predators often prey on single mothers to get closer to children | Lubbock Online | Lubbock Avalanche-Journal , and more. Are you now understanding why women want committed relationships? A emotionally/financially stable guy with no dark secrets, skeletons in his closet?

Women have the right to say no! No means no! Period. Just because no girl would talk to you because they're rude doesn't mean it that way. Either she's not into you, playing hard to get with the words "Try again some other time", or just looking to see if you're masculine enough to make her want you more in her mind "Is this guy worth it?" Anyway, you need to start stepping up your part of the plate by trying to find a honest way to connect. Not a cheap shot with a pickup line, a flirty or dirty imagery that'll tick her off, or some creepy smile. Girls love men who are honest and if you're honest, they'll definitely hang out with you more and the more they get to know you more, the more 'husband material' you'll be for them.

I hope you understand why women want a committed relationship, not mind games. Dating is not a game but a process in which two parties go through together getting to know one another and eventually when love strikes, a relationship can blossom. It takes months, years to get to where you want to be and marriage may not be so far off your horizon.

Understand from their point of view. Not yours.

whatdidyousay!

And more women are deciding not have kids. Women are more independent today, they have a job their own car and home, they do not need a man to take care of them. They will have date but do not want to be ties down. I bet is not only deaf men that are single.

Grummer

right

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

Grummer

.

you haven't got a CLUE about me, or my life or ANything dont ever assume
you are just posting this to make yourself look cute, girls will suss YOU out too trust me they dont like bullshitters
whats more, in real life, i have 3 women chasing me, its hard to keep a straight line, i didnt even have sex with any of them yet for fear of jumping on the wrong one, (one of them is not attractive in my taste, other one is OK other one is hot but she's boring and doesnt know anything) so now dont tell me i cant attract - i didnt even need to try...AND i dont use them...im trying to suss who to flick off as not trustworthy, thats not going to 'take years' as the years is Not available i need to do it quick...id be honest here, I dont want any of them, none of them meets my standards or we're not that compatiable besides i have too much work to do at the moment

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

Grummer

genepool?! LOL there's another term you fail to understand - social classes. It occurs regardless of 'genepool' that you speak of So ever wonder why ugly people gets it? it because they have other means = money or education (with money)... stop being a ass

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

KarissaMann05

I never understand double standards here, but whatever. Again, what do she mean "many seem oppressed likely for good reason" in her quote? I fail to see how it is a "good" reason. Well, I probably wouldn't complain if it is "many seem oppressed likely for various reasons", or something...

__________________
"Pragmatic language is a vital social skill that enables the school-aged child to navigate their way through demanding social situations." -- R. Owens

Huscurian

I am posting what I believe what I see, Grummer. If you believe that I was posting to be cute, try to attract all the girls here on AllDeaf.com, I'm sorry you think this way. I wasn't. I wrote out of my heart what I believed, not what I wanted them to hear.

If the girls suss me out for being a bullshitter, Grummer; perhaps they haven't decided yet who I really am yet. If they do suss me out, that's their choice and decision. I have no anger, bitterness, or malice to lash out, start making crazy statements like you do from time to time. Actually, I prefer that girls make up their own mind. If I'm a bullshitter to them, kudos. If I'm not, kudos.

You know, from what you wrote about those girls that are not up to your standards? That's pretty lame. You're putting girls in specific classifications that you're EITHER chasing the Holy Grail of all Women, a mythic Unicorn (which only exist for those who deserve it), or just someone you just want in your life without honorable needs or intentions.

Like I said, you need to make friends first with all girls. Those three girls you just listed? The one that wasn't attractive, the other that was okay, the one that was hot but doesn't know anything? I'd take them all and become their friends first. All the more to them to know who I am and the more for me to know who they are and treat them like human beings. Your VERY OWN WORDS are actually sounding like you treat them a part of cattles that you split, align, and put into their pastures.

Let me ask you a question. Even if they aren't compatible, haven't you tried to be their friend? Possibly give them the benefits of the doubt? Take one out on a date? You'll never know what works, what doesn't UNTIL you take the risk!

Above all, Grummer, I think I can peg you for the type who have a lot of deep wounding issues to resolve. You probably have looked back at the past and wished for what it was, that it'll never be. Your anger, bitterness, your disregard for respect for women on this forum clearly indicates rebellion and you definitely are on a destructive roll that you literally don't care.

If anything, my mom told me that anger is fear. I didn't realize it until she told me. I was like, "Ooh! So that's why I kept having those problems! That's why I was angry." I started examining my past, reflected on what I did, and realized that I had fear in my life. There are people who are afraid of the unknown and negative emotions can often cause fear.

You're afraid of letting go your anger. You're afraid of finding the one person in your life that if you do not find her in all of the women in this world, how can your life be the way you wanted?

Am I getting warmer? Be honest. Do not deny. I may not know who you are but your behaviorism shows signs of rebellion, anger, fear, all the classic signs of those who have really seriously deep issues in this life. Rebecca figured you out already long before you hit fruit boy, metromoron, the glass is full, etc. More will figure you out as you go along.

As for being and acting intolerant, there's a BIG BIG difference. Being intolerant is like being inconsiderate. So is acting intolerant. In order to be perceived as nice, kind, compassionate, caring, drop the intolerant act. You need to walk the walk, talk the talk before others notice! Otherwise you're just one fluke.

So... even if I said it's up to those girls who decide who I am: a bullshitter or not. Know what that makes me? A person who doesn't care about what other people think because it matters what I wrote from my heart, I know how to write from it. My opinion here is only floating on the internet, out of the billionths of opinions that already are. We are individuals with beliefs, troubles, and more and not one opinion, not even mine, can force anyone to change. Everyone has the right to either dismiss, accept, or re-evaluate then critique my opinion. That's what we call debating.

Huscurian

In my terms, Grummer, it isn't about social classes. It's about character amd the sums that make up it: strength, integrity, honor, chivalry, and more. Each individual is a part of a certain place and their character is measured. The worst the person is, the more likely that person is in the rejected genepool. My words: genepool = specific types of character.

Your past statements have further eroded your integrity and why would a girl want to date you if she knew you were angry, bitter? What if she knew you ticked off a lot of women here on AllDeaf.com or in real life? Women are highly likely to steer clear of guys like that because abusive relationships happen.

I have one question: are you just ranting on here because you want to be heard? You want to be loved? Accepted? Respected? By all means you can have all of those but your vibe that's being sent through your writings are obviously not helping.

Grummer

I take it that you're not Deaf but a 100% HOH, go to ALL-HOH instead...

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

DeafTim

Wow, you made a lot of sense. I never thought of it. Very good post.

I saw a fine looking young lady(blonde head) at walmart,today. I wanted to lick her up and down. Know what I mean? She had very sexy tan thick legs,shorts right up her bubbly butt. She wasnt married and was shopping school supplies. I think a lot of ladies do not want to get pregnant just b/c they want to look good at all times. I've been told this before, I know it is true,women are downright selfish.

__________________
It might be,it could be...It is! A homerun! HOLY COW!!

Harry Caray

Mitt: I have 5 point plan

President Obama: Mitt doesnt have 5 point plan,
He has one point plan!

(ZINGER)

Mitt Romney is a scam!!

jillio

Yep. Better known as playing the deaf card. Something that the Deaf don't do.

jillio

I'd date you, Grum. I enjoy the indepth conversations we have regarding sociological concepts. I even enjoy it when we disagree, because we make each other think. I value that in a man. Too many people base a relationship on superficial criteria.

jillio

You patronizing attitude of telling the Deaf what is cool and what isn't, how they should respond and how they shouldn't respond is insulting. You are not nearly as sophisticated and learned as you seem to think you are.

jillio

Dude, how many years did it take you to become that judgemental and condescending?

You can't speak for the Deaf, and you certainly can't speak for women.

jillio

You really need to leave the analyzing to someone qualified to do it. You obviously aren't. No one here asked for your Deaf Abby advice on how to get and keep a girlfriend. The fact that you think you should offer what has not even been asked for speaks volumes regarding your over inflated ego.

Grummer

yep they can be very selfish, blame it on the "I am" generation and all that "you make your own value" feel-good-therapy that was the rage back in the 1990's and its side effects on society is now showing...

__________________
"Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them."
Albert Einstein

deafskeptic

Personally, I think having babies is a big responsiblity. I think a lot of women would give pause because they would have to think about the cost both emotional and finacial) of raising children. While I can't speak up for other women, that is what I'd be thinking. It has nothing to do with my looks.

If looks is the only reason why some women don't want to have babies, I think something is seriously wrong with them.

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