meyag2

a deaf guy got upset cuz he's having a hard time find a date for deaf. he noticed many deaf ladies prefer to date hearie than Ddeaf/Hhoh, someone wrote to him and says, "hearie better cuz more romantic and know how to do everything". it upset him.

Is hearie more romantic than Ddeaf/Hhoh? i think both are same. but several Ddeaf/Hhoh people i met told me that they prefer to date hearie cuz hearie knows how to do everything and more romantic too.
i know hearie people can hear and talk well, it's like life is easy because of easy communicate. So, is that why?

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Deafness

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NEWIDME

All's I know is all men suck at this moment (due to my divorce.)
I think it doesn't matter if one can hear or not. You are either a good lover or a bad one - - ears have nothing to do w/ it (or should I say hearing?)

VamPyroX

I've never heard of that.

It varies on the individual and their communication as well as their cooperation.

If they can't communicate and cooperate well, they won't do well.

Being more romantic? It's a matter of being creative to express your love... or a matter of how the one being loved sees it.

One person may try to express his love, but she won't see it that way.

If we're talking about hearing people, the deaf woman probably had one bad experience when she dated one deaf guy... which brought her to this assumption of "If this one deaf guy isn't romantic, then ALL deaf guys aren't romantic." It could also be that the deaf woman is trying to reject her deaf identity or have a thing for hearing people regardless of what the problem is... like a fetish or a turn-on.

I've seen people who have a strong preference regardless of the bad things that happen. I knew a guy who had the hots for Asian women regardless of how horrible they were, it was the fact that they were Asian that made him attracted to them.

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meyag2

Vamp--> If we're talking about hearing people, the deaf woman probably had one bad experience when she dated one deaf guy... which brought her to this assumption of "If this one deaf guy isn't romantic, then ALL deaf guys aren't romantic." It could also be that the deaf woman is trying to reject her deaf identity or have a thing for hearing people regardless of what the problem is... like a fetish or a turn-on.

meyag2--> that's the one. i remembered a deaf person told me and says, "hearie more fun than Ddeaf/Hhoh" which is true but i kinda disagree. i've experienced with hearie before.

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meyag2

sorry about your divorce.

true

yeah, you could say hearie.

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Jolie77

I don't think it really comes to the deaf/hearing status. It is all about how a couple inter-reacts in a relationship.

For one, having a bad experience with a deaf guy or a hearing guy doesn't mean that it is automatically for every deaf/hearing guy. There are good and/or bad guys out there (or in that case for deaf/hearing girls too).

But yes, I've known of some people who would rather stick to a deaf guy/girl for several reasons - ie; to bond easier, communicate better, and can understand each other better than others, so and on.

There are also some people who would stick to a hearing guy/girl for some reasons, whether it may be to help each other in both worlds or whatever it is.

It is just all about how the preferences comes into play. It is not meant to be aimed for the deaf/hearing status.

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meyag2

thank you jolie for all the info. that would help to other Ddeaf/Hhoh or hearie about this topic.

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Pepsi

I never been with someone that's deaf/hoh. All the guys(hearing) I have been with turn out to be jerks.

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IslandBreeze07

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~*Kaelei*~

I actually prefer Hearing...I just have better experience with Hearing guys I've dated instead of with deaf guys.

But really, it depends on people and the relationships.

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Bottesini

My husband is hearing. I don't think hearing status is a good way to judge what the quality of the relationship will be. I am very happy in my marriage by the way.

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deafbajagal

Perfectly good post!

GarnetTigerMom

I have to say that Vamp and Joile both did a great job on the posting their opinions and how they view deaf/hoh and hearing status on romantic relationship. I have to say I agree with that. But Newbie I am sorry about what you are going through. Not all men are really that bad. Some may be jerks and other may be mr. nice guy. I am sure there some wonderful romantic guys out there despite their hoh/deaf and hearing status. You just have to take time to heal your wound heart and give yourself some hope you find love again.

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

hohDougRN

You know its so hard to decide since I've dated so many of both-NOT.

I can't give you an "educated" answer on this one, sorry. My first feeling if someone made this generalization is they are just shallow personality and probably manipulative person. stay away fron that.

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Doug

shel90

I have been with both deaf/hoh/hearing guys. One's hearing status doesnt matter. My ex hubby is hearing and he was a jerk. I dated this deaf guy and he flew me to Texas to be his date for a friend's wedding and he romanced me the whole weekend in addition to paying for everything from my flight ticket, the hotel, food, drinks, and so forth. I have dated hearing and deaf jerks and hearing and deaf romantics. Doesnt matter...

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~Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

GarnetTigerMom

Ah that so sweet of the deaf guy that treated you so wonderfully and not treat you like dirt. It very rare for some deaf guys show lot of maturaity to a woman and respect her and treat her like a person instead of a jerk who just want to get in women s pant. I say that rare. :-)

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

shel90

Really? I probably have met more than 10 deaf guys who arent jerks and arent interested in getting into a women's pants. Sure I have met some who are like that but I have met hearing guys who are just like those deaf guys you described.

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~Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Celticty

Honestly I agree with everyone else, it all depends on who you are not on how well you hear. I am hearing myself and I am a romantic. Alot of people i have known in my past that are hearing were complete jerks. I think it all depends on how you are raised. Weather your mother told you how to treat a woman or not. if i ever misstreated a woman my mom and sisters would KILL ME!! i would rather not have that happen.

jenni-m

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Jolie77

Thank you, IslandBreeze and deafbajagal

Anyway, Doug - I couldn't agree more with that statement. For one to make a generalized statement only can mean that they haven't really expanded it's horizons to see what is really out there.

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frogsign

I have been married so long, I forget what dating looks like. However, I do believe that it isn't a "hearing thing" or a "Deaf thing"---it's how they are raised! If the parents treat each other and their children with love and respect and communicate well, then the children will do the same with their mates. Unfortunately, in both the hearing and Deaf worlds parents often set a terrible example in behavior.

I have met some true gentlemen who happen to be deaf, and some real trash heaps that are hearing. Just gotta be choosy.

My two cents.

shel90

Hey...a potential romantic there!!!

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~Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Celticty

Even if it kills me, my children will be romantics.

GarnetTigerMom

If you been in Virginia,, you should see deaf guys here treat women badly they suck and they treat women like crap here in VA. I am not saying all of them are like that, but most of them I know are awful to women and most of them here are rapist. They don't know how to respect women at all. Lot of deaf guys here that are married cheat on their wives numbers of times and that even worst.

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Celticty

I bet there is a possibility that their parents treated them poorly because they were "Different" and never would be "normal". They were forced to be a certain way which psychologically messed them up. This is just a theory though.