is it okay to be selfish in relationship?

meyag2 · 05-22-2008, 05:13 PM

Is it okay to be selfish in relationship?

When someone feel overhelming and someone need you or depend on you. Is it okay to be selfish?

Person who thinks he or she is selfish cuz you don't think about her or him in relationship.

TweetyBird · 05-22-2008, 06:13 PM

well not be ok cuz of depend their if they dont trust each other and SHOULD BE SHARE NOT TOOOOOO selfish if not then it will be plms..

CrzyMeg · 05-22-2008, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MeYag2CAL

Is it okay to be selfish in relationship?

When someone feel overhelming and someone need you or depend on you. Is it okay to be selfish?

Person who thinks he or she is selfish cuz you don't think about her or him in relationship.

No not really.

LakeTahoe · 05-22-2008, 07:03 PM

Nope!

PowerON · 05-22-2008, 08:10 PM

selfish is natural for everybody to have one.

shel90 · 05-22-2008, 08:30 PM

Not selfish to the point where the other person is always giving and the other is always recieving. It is ok to be selfish once in a while as long as it is not hurtful to the other person.

Oceanblue7 · 05-22-2008, 08:52 PM

Being selfish in a relationship is unhealthy.

shel90 · 05-22-2008, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oceanblue7

Being selfish in a relationship is unhealthy.

What about being selfish like telling our significant other to take care of the kids for one day so we can have a day of rest and relaxation to ourseves once in a while? Someone told me that was selfish.

Freaky Cat · 05-22-2008, 10:05 PM

no its not heatlhy.. my soon to be ex husband is selfish... never giving .. always tell me i cant do that or i cant talk to my sons father and my son. so he cut phone off. thats selfish. he doesnt realize how dangerous it is when and what happen if house got on fire or if me and my son are alone at home and he is at work. someone break in? what then? also i cant call my mom to check on her and make sure she is ok? due to her having copd and use oxygen? so how do i know ?? ugh.

he always buy foods and put them up and said thats for my work, ok. i always buy foods and share? when theres leftover i always put in tupperware so he can take to work for his lunch. and we cant eat his foods? tahts selfish. oh well.. i aint crying over that. lol..

whenever he get sick or back pains.. i always tend to him and fix him something to drink or whatever.. when i get sick.. he didnt tend to me? ? oh well..

i like it if we are in together.. give or take.. share and be there for each other.. sigh..

Lavender · 05-23-2008, 01:06 AM

yes, but u don't have any job that's not fair for him. If u work hard earning ur own acct then it will be no plm. I'm sure he willingly wants to share with u whatever u both have to make a commitment.

That's why I don't like about ssi or ssdi becuz I heard too many plm for deaf ladies did not make a good life; even to male,too.

meyag2 · 05-23-2008, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

What about being selfish like telling our significant other to take care of the kids for one day so we can have a day of rest and relaxation to ourseves once in a while? Someone told me that was selfish.

call a babysitter or maybe your family or someone you know very well. go have fun and relax. i don't think that's selfish. my older sister called me, she and her husband needs to go out. so i did the babysitter for my older sister. my nieces understood that her mom and dad needs to go out to have fun for one day break.

meyag2 · 05-23-2008, 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

Not selfish to the point where the other person is always giving and the other is always recieving. It is ok to be selfish once in a while as long as it is not hurtful to the other person.

true

***VamPyroX*** · 05-23-2008, 02:26 AM

It depends on your definition of being selfish.

Everyone has their own personal desires. It's something that needs to be communicated between each other. Not every desires can or should be met, but if it's reasonable... then they can be met.

I've dealt with people who had unnecessary selfishness. That's not good.

sequoias · 05-23-2008, 02:30 AM

No it's not okay to be real selfish in a relationship. It's good idea to share thoughts, things, everything in a relationship. It's ok to be selfish once in a while, but not all the time. It depends on the mood, of course.

Liebling:-))) · 05-23-2008, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX

It depends on your definition of being selfish.

Everyone has their own personal desires. It's something that needs to be communicated between each other. Not every desires can or should be met, but if it's reasonable... then they can be met.

I've dealt with people who had unnecessary selfishness. That's not good.

Yes, it´s depend on everyone who are good or bad selfish in negative or positive way.

Freaky Cat · 05-23-2008, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lavender

yes, but u don't have any job that's not fair for him. If u work hard earning ur own acct then it will be no plm. I'm sure he willingly wants to share with u whatever u both have to make a commitment.

That's why I don't like about ssi or ssdi becuz I heard too many plm for deaf ladies did not make a good life; even to male,too.

Yes I would work but I am disabled so therefore i cant work due to me having Meniere's Diease. I cant help if I am sick with it. Are you a doctor. so cure me?

I have good days and bad days. I go to work and it just hit me out of blue and my boss get mad that i called in sick due to that so i have no choice but not go back to work due to that. Thats when I found out I have Meniere's Disease. No cure. so I am stuck with it.

in case you didnt know.. SSDI is for those who CANT work due to being sick with disease or something. I am tired of those people who look down on people who have SSDI. they are people who CANT work due to disablity.

SSI is for those who dont have job but is ABLE to work.

so that is big difference between that.

My mom have SSDI and she have COPD. she cant WORK. same concept as I do as I have Meniere's Disease.

So be careful what you LABEL on people who are on ssdi. OK? thank you!

Oceanblue7 · 05-23-2008, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

What about being selfish like telling our significant other to take care of the kids for one day so we can have a day of rest and relaxation to ourseves once in a while? Someone told me that was selfish.

Shel, that's not selfish to ask your significant other to take care of the kids. Its a responsibility working together with your significant other when kids are involved. Not at all selfish maybe the person who said that is selfish , I don't know.

Liebling:-))) · 05-23-2008, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

What about being selfish like telling our significant other to take care of the kids for one day so we can have a day of rest and relaxation to ourseves once in a while? Someone told me that was selfish.

WHAT!!!! It´s not true what someone consider it as selfish when you ask others to take care of your kids for one day break. I see why not, because every parents deserve their break!!!!

NorCal20 · 05-29-2008, 04:41 AM

why not?

jenni-m · 05-29-2008, 06:56 AM

Everyone is selfish to some extent (we would not be alive and talking, otherwise....)

It's when it is too much, or all the time, that you have to worry. Everyone will have a selfish moment... no person on earth is 100% selfless.

jenni-m · 05-29-2008, 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Freaky Cat

SSI is for those who dont have job but is ABLE to work.

Sorry to correct you, but this not exactly correct, and is misleading.

Directly from ssa.gov site:

Quote:

SSI makes monthly payments to people who have low income and few resources and are:

* Age 65 or older;
* Blind; or
* Disabled.

If you are applying for SSI, you also should ask for What You Need To Know When You Get Supplemental Security Income (SSI) (Publication No. 05-11011).

Disabled or blind children also can receive SSI. You can get more information in Benefits For Children With Disabilities (Publication No. 05-10026).

The basic SSI amount is the same nationwide. However, many states add money to the basic benefit. You can call us to find out the amounts for your state.

Supplemental Security Income (SSI)

Edit:
And the main difference between SSI and SSDI is that you have to have worked a certain amount to get SSDI. It is also possible to get both SSDI and SSI.

Liza · 05-29-2008, 09:59 AM

there are two kinds of selfishness... healthy and unhealthy. the healthy selfishness enables you to focus on yourself and make sure you are not too drained, and create reasonable boundaries. ofc you'd find a way to help others without it being dangerous or exhausting for you. nothing wrong with this.

lilylover72 · 05-29-2008, 11:42 AM

My husband and I are sometime good selfish because any man or any woman tried take one of us away. It is okay to be little good selfish. We married for 12 years and still trust each other. of course there have bad and good time.

Bottesini · 05-29-2008, 12:11 PM

Not ok. Very short relationship.

lilylover72 · 05-31-2008, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini

Not ok. Very short relationship.

Are you married?

deafbajagal · 06-01-2008, 11:03 AM

A good relationship is a reciprocal one.

Bottesini · 06-01-2008, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilylover72

Are you married?

Yes I am married for 30 years.

05-22-2008, 05:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
meyag2 *********** Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 1,744	is it okay to be selfish in relationship? Is it okay to be selfish in relationship? When someone feel overhelming and someone need you or depend on you. Is it okay to be selfish? Person who thinks he or she is selfish cuz you don't think about her or him in relationship.

05-22-2008, 07:03 PM	#4 (permalink)
LakeTahoe ~~JUST ME!!~~ Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Lost somewhere on the Earth! Posts: 12,293	Nope! __________________ HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

05-22-2008, 08:10 PM	#5 (permalink)
PowerON Please don't click me! D: Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Would like to live at Fort Davis, TX Posts: 4,780 Blog Entries: 1	selfish is natural for everybody to have one. __________________ • [Illustrator.Blog-alloon.com] • Don't shoot me! I'm only blogger!

05-22-2008, 08:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
shel90 Sun Whorshipper Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A Desert Rat that has found herself in Maryland Posts: 16,119 Blog Entries: 1	Not selfish to the point where the other person is always giving and the other is always recieving. It is ok to be selfish once in a while as long as it is not hurtful to the other person. __________________ ~Shel~ "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

05-22-2008, 08:52 PM	#7 (permalink)
Oceanblue7 Patriots Rock! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Gillette Stadium Posts: 4,418 Blog Entries: 8	Being selfish in a relationship is unhealthy. __________________ Ps.103:12 He washes our sins away into the ocean

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

05-22-2008, 06:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
TweetyBird ~ Fall ~ Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 21,406	well not be ok cuz of depend their if they dont trust each other and SHOULD BE SHARE NOT TOOOOOO selfish if not then it will be plms..

05-22-2008, 10:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
Freaky Cat My cat Oreo :) Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: ArKaNsAs Posts: 10,182	no its not heatlhy.. my soon to be ex husband is selfish... never giving .. always tell me i cant do that or i cant talk to my sons father and my son. so he cut phone off. thats selfish. he doesnt realize how dangerous it is when and what happen if house got on fire or if me and my son are alone at home and he is at work. someone break in? what then? also i cant call my mom to check on her and make sure she is ok? due to her having copd and use oxygen? so how do i know ?? ugh. he always buy foods and put them up and said thats for my work, ok. i always buy foods and share? when theres leftover i always put in tupperware so he can take to work for his lunch. and we cant eat his foods? tahts selfish. oh well.. i aint crying over that. lol.. whenever he get sick or back pains.. i always tend to him and fix him something to drink or whatever.. when i get sick.. he didnt tend to me? ? oh well.. i like it if we are in together.. give or take.. share and be there for each other.. sigh.. __________________ When you miss me just look up to the night sky and remember, I'm like a star; sometimes you can't see me, but I'm always there! Freaky Cat's Blog

05-23-2008, 01:06 AM	#10 (permalink)
Lavender Season's Greetings Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Mother Earth Posts: 594	yes, but u don't have any job that's not fair for him. If u work hard earning ur own acct then it will be no plm. I'm sure he willingly wants to share with u whatever u both have to make a commitment. That's why I don't like about ssi or ssdi becuz I heard too many plm for deaf ladies did not make a good life; even to male,too. __________________

05-23-2008, 02:26 AM	#13 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 27,844	It depends on your definition of being selfish. Everyone has their own personal desires. It's something that needs to be communicated between each other. Not every desires can or should be met, but if it's reasonable... then they can be met. I've dealt with people who had unnecessary selfishness. That's not good. __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

05-23-2008, 02:30 AM	#14 (permalink)
sequoias Subaru rules! Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: The Evergreen State Posts: 12,774	No it's not okay to be real selfish in a relationship. It's good idea to share thoughts, things, everything in a relationship. It's ok to be selfish once in a while, but not all the time. It depends on the mood, of course. __________________

05-29-2008, 04:41 AM	#19 (permalink)
NorCal20 -superdorky :o) Join Date: May 2008 Location: Golden State Posts: 3,162	why not? __________________ Phil.4:13- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" I play USSSA, not ASA! Rest in Peace, Mrs.C.Yoshitake. You'll be always wonderful teacher. i will sorely miss you and my heart goes to your family. We will meet again.

05-29-2008, 06:56 AM	#20 (permalink)
jenni-m Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 598	Everyone is selfish to some extent (we would not be alive and talking, otherwise....) It's when it is too much, or all the time, that you have to worry. Everyone will have a selfish moment... no person on earth is 100% selfless.

05-29-2008, 09:59 AM	#22 (permalink)
Liza Cranial protocologist Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: St Augustine, FL Posts: 4,161 Blog Entries: 2	there are two kinds of selfishness... healthy and unhealthy. the healthy selfishness enables you to focus on yourself and make sure you are not too drained, and create reasonable boundaries. ofc you'd find a way to help others without it being dangerous or exhausting for you. nothing wrong with this.

05-29-2008, 11:42 AM	#23 (permalink)
lilylover72 I love purple! Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: USA Posts: 2,871	My husband and I are sometime good selfish because any man or any woman tried take one of us away. It is okay to be little good selfish. We married for 12 years and still trust each other. of course there have bad and good time.

05-29-2008, 12:11 PM	#24 (permalink)
Bottesini Elf Assassin Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Sneaking up behind you Posts: 5,858 Blog Entries: 2	Not ok. Very short relationship. __________________ AllDeaf

06-01-2008, 11:03 AM	#26 (permalink)
deafbajagal Jasmine's Tiger "Lilly" Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: USA Posts: 2,107	A good relationship is a reciprocal one.