Sexy Babe

Hi,
I have read some of your comments and your stories. I know how that feel. I met my ex husband at Deaf Club and thought he is the man of my life. Bec I rather to be date or with HOH or Deaf guys. I have gone through a lot of pblms with deaf men and it is soo painful and confusing and a lot of misunderstanding and all. I told all my deaf friends that I would never date with hearing guys, bec they would take advantaged of deaf woman in many reasons. Well, I have learned alot of my mistakes..

After my seperation from my ex husband for the first time and finally broke it not to go back with him, too many times. I started to get on the internet, bec I want to make new friends and want to start allover with my new Life.

Well, I met my first hearing husband through Yahoo Chat room in Ark 3 Chat room. He pmed me and talk to me and we start chatting and all. I was scared, bec I know chatting with someone is dangerous and many reasons. I tried to avoid him and he kept seeing me in the chat room and always chat with me. I told my deaf friend about it and she said it maybe the signs.. She is also enaged with her hearing man. She told me that I never have problem with my hearing man and that I should give a try..

Well, Well there are full of surprises in my life. My husband and I chatted for 2 half weeks. I told my ex husband that there is no chance for us being together. Bec I knew he will do it again. He got mad and said oh is that someone else ? I told him no. But you broke the promise that you would not be dating someone and he did. I let him go and shut the door on his face and went back and spoke to my husband. After we talked a lot the more we talked the more we seems to be comfortable. But still you don't know what is going to be, if you met in real person. Bec internet and meet in real person are sooo different. He came by to see me Jan 21, 2005 for the first time. I was soo nervous. He brought me feather rose and a note book to communicate with me. He seems like he broke his ice, when he first met me. I was taking my time and we started to get to know more deeply and talked alot on notebook and all.

We went out date and get to know more and we fell in love. Yes, there are full of surprises in my life with him. It is so hard to communicate through notebook and we started to take next step to learn sign languages. He have bad habit spelling fingers. Yeah, it do cause realationship problems bec of lack of communicate and signs. He worked a lot and it is hard for him to keep up learning signs. But Amazing thing is he kept it up and did his best and improved a lot with his signs. My deaf friends really like him a lot and told me that he is winner and that he have good heart.

We became steady in this relationship and live together to get to know eachother more and see how it goes before take the next steps. We became engaged and took our time, before we got married. He have been soo patient with me as well as I do, too. It was wonderful and full of surprises. My man always interprent me what other hearing people say, stood up for me, be there for me in every ways, tell me what my kids said behind my back and all that.

We are now happy married couples and have full of surpises in our life. I am thankful that I found the right man this time and took my time, before go farther in this relationship.

So some of hearing/ deaf people have full of surpries in their life after they fall in love and some don't have great relationship in their life. That is really hard to see the signs or follow your heart.

No one is perfect in the world, execpt keep trying to find right person in your life. Don't give up. Don't rush.. All you do is keep trying, be patient and make sure if that person is the right for your future.

So Good Luck..

Deafness

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DrPepper4ever

Don't give up yet. Talk to him and let him know how you feel. I think that you should be patient and see how your relationship can go far. The relationships are not perfect. Be prepare for some surprises because you will never know that something wonderful will come along in your life.

I am deaf and am married to a wonderful hearing guy for 6 years. How did i met him? I was a designated driver for my friends that night at the club so I didn't drink when I drove them home. One of my friends kept telling me that there was a guy who were interested into me but I wasn't pay attention and was occupied by dancing.

My hubby kept telling my friend that he really wanted to meet me. Finally on 3rd weekend night he had his chance to dance with me. Suddenly I was flattered when he told me that first time he saw me and thought I had an attractive glow around me. I was surprised when he told me that he called his sister about me and got a sign language book next day. He couldn't stop asking when he could see me again.

I was hesitate going on date with him because he is in military. My heart kept telling me to give my hubby a chance so I went on a date with him. Our first date went well and he was so wonderful. We continued to date and got know each other. I told him that I dont smoke at all. My hubby won my heart when he told me that he quitted smoking. I never ask him to quit so I asked him why? He said he did it for me. I couldn't help but my heart completely surrendered to him. Two months later, he wanted me to meet his family so we visited his family in CA.

We are still happily married and are planning to start a family soon. We have our ups and downs like everyone does but our love, be there, and be patient for each other that make our marriage stronger. I am so grateful that he didnt give up on me when I wasn't sure about going out with a miltary guy and he kept asking for the dates :}

So we can't help who we fall in love with but no matter what who u r with, you will find your love and happiness in time. If ur relationshiop isnt working out, be strong and move on until you find it or come to you.

deafbajagal

I don't think it matters if a person is hearing or deaf - as long as that person treats you with respect, loyalty, and uses a communication system that both of you can understand. My experience with hearing guys were usually negative because of the cultural and communication barriers. For that reason, I prefer to date (when I'm ready, and I'm not ready right now) deaf guys.

kipourgos

I can certainly understand why a deaf person might find it easier to date another deaf person. I'm hearing, dating a deaf person for the first time; it's only been a few weeks. He's a considerate, sweet, lovely person, though he can be stubborn and when he misunderstands something he can be convinced that he understood right. I love learning languages and learning Turkish Sign Language on the fly is has been interesting and fun. (And the little ASL I learned has been more of a source of confusion than a help!) But I do want to get to the point where we can talk more deeply, soon. He doesn't know much Turkish and has not been very motivated to do so, so the communication is basically up to me. Luckily he has a good friend who does know Turkish well. We see him frequently; he can explain some things and I can get signs for words from him. I do wonder how it will go down the line, because I know I'll be his only line of communicaiton between him and my friends and it's not likely to change. I spent a long time being unable to follow conversations and sort of got used to it, and I know he's used to it as well. But I do want him to feel included as well, and wonder to what extent we'll be able to do it..

Pinky

I have no problem with deaf and hearing relationship. The important is communicate. My husband do know sign languages. He learned it from me. He need to learned it because of his stutter and his nephew is deaf and hoh. If He don't understand. I will tell him repeat. If I don't understand him and ask him for repeat. I have to be patient with him when he is talking with his all friends or family. I asked him what did they said? I told him to do interpret for me.

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GarnetTigerMom

I don't think it really matter if you are in a deaf or hearing relationship or deaf to deaf relationship. Every relationship will have it's up and down with some struggles. We all know that relationship take two to make work. If you care about someone and in love that person, then do the best you can in the relationship to keep the commuication open. Love can over come so many obstacles.

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

CJB

Casa Blanca, it's excellent that you are learning sign language. This is vital for any Deaf-hearing relationship. I think one of the main things you've realized, though, is that there isn't only a linguistic difference between Deaf and hearing, but a major cultural one. It's just like people who come from different countries that fall in love.

If you make an effort to really understand Deaf culture, your boyfriend will become less unpredictable because you'll be able to view him in the context of Deaf culture. And if he makes an effort to really understand hearing culture, then he will be able to understand you better. As you get to understand each other's cultures better, although you might not magically understand each other all the time, but at least you will both be able to figure out why you had certain misunderstandings.

Just think of it as two people from different countries. With a bit of effort to understand each other's cultures and language and norms, the rest of the relationship will fall into place.