Why is it so frustrated to find a right deaf lady? - Page 2

Silentwolfdog · 01-14-2008, 05:33 PM

With this phrase "Nice guy finish last." I always added "Sometimes they get the best one."

Only if they learn to stop and actually look at ones that were with them.

After all, a nice girl finish last as well. Trust me.

I totally agree with this Bear's phrase "You pass up some very good hearts, when you over look that slightly or severely overweight woman."

I am one of those that wait for nice guy that finish last. Since they are last, it means I have to wait longer than most. But I am waiting, only for one that don't give up in the middle of "race."

Most deaf guys where I live don't go to college. Usually it is deaf women who go. I know education isn't important but this does sent an uncomfortable messages to me. What is deaf guy's goal? What does he do for free time? Etc.

If he works as janitor but yet understand the world, then I will be happy with him regardless of where he works. I am an odd one, I like to have a deep conversation with someone and if they don't provide me that, then I get bored.

Angel · 01-14-2008, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bear

I agreea and disagree with what some are saying.

First of all, looks are only important as far as appearance. Is the guy clean? If he isnt clean, who would wanna get close to that? Would you? Does he care about the way he looks? Does he dress ok? If his jeans and shirts are full of car grease while trying to meet chicks, lets say that its not exactly a good endorsement for him.

The guy does not have to be hot to grab our attention. Give us a guy that sees a woman going out the door, and he runs and opens the door for us. Small things like that leave a lasting impression, more than any words ever could.

Secondly, some men here are saying that us women base everything on looks. What about you men? If she isnt a Jessica Alba look alike most of you men arent even interested. What about going for a average looking, maybe even overweight women?

You pass up some very good hearts, when you over look that slightly or severely overweight woman.

Yes, I practice what I preach, while my hubby isnt overweight, one of my most cherished friends is. I would date him in a heartbeat if I was single, simply because he has such a soft heart.

I think the true key to meeting someone and finding a lasting love, is going into the dating scene, without a certain type in mind. If you go in willing to give ANYONE a chance, then you just might up your chances of finding Ms. Right.

As mentioned above, the number one thing you can do is be yourself. Dont be all Mr. Player coming up with these stories to make yourself look good. When found out, its a great way to lose future prospects. Trust me us women do talk to each other about who is good to date and who to avoid. Just BE YOURSELF.

Sooner or later, even the good guys do win.

!!!

shel90 · 01-14-2008, 08:53 PM

[quote=Silentwolfdog;897157]With this phrase "Nice guy finish last." I always added "Sometimes they get the best one."

Only if they learn to stop and actually look at ones that were with them.

After all, a nice girl finish last as well. Trust me.

I totally agree with this Bear's phrase "You pass up some very good hearts, when you over look that slightly or severely overweight woman."

I am one of those that wait for nice guy that finish last. Since they are last, it means I have to wait longer than most. But I am waiting, only for one that don't give up in the middle of "race."

Most deaf guys where I live don't go to college. Usually it is deaf women who go. I know education isn't important but this does sent an uncomfortable messages to me. What is deaf guy's goal? What does he do for free time? Etc.

If he works as janitor but yet understand the world, then I will be happy with him regardless of where he works. I am an odd one, I like to have a deep conversation with someone and if they don't provide me that, then I get bored.[/QUOTE]

U are not the only one who is odd...I am the same too. I have dated several deaf guys and it is those who challenge me intellectually are the ones that I fall for. The ones who talk about video games, how cool they are, and how many women they can get are the ones who bore me.

I fell for this one deaf guy in New York City..he was very very creative with how he played around with English to make people laugh. I loved bantering him and having myself being challenged to come up with a better come-back. Too bad, he wasnt ready for a commitment at the time. It wasnt meant to be, I guess.

Silentwolfdog · 01-15-2008, 12:42 AM

Yay, I am not the only one? Although, it does feel like that.

Seriously, I think I could tell you are that type of person based on your posts.

I also meant people in general. Not just traits I look for in a future boyfriend/husband.

This is reason why I enjoyed being around people who are spiritual or act as devil's advocate, since they forced me to see it through a different perspective. The argument can be heated and so fun or very serious and thought-provoked (unsure how to say this).

But those traits aren't what I have saw in potential deaf guys just yet, lol.

That person you mentioned must have been fun to be around with.

ScubaladyTx · 01-22-2008, 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShamRockMan

Hello all deaf.com users!

Introduce myself: I am Ryan and I am 30 years old. I have moved and transfered job to Phoenix, AZ from Chicago months ago.

I think alldeaf.com is cool way to talk about anything. Share anyone with thoughtful. So I am new on this. I have been thinking about different issues. I would like to know and to understand something from what other are thinking. Hopefully this will help me a lot.

I have been single for half year after 6 years with my ex. While I am around in Phoenix. I have met some nice deaf ladies. I'm taking my time just to get to know them. I'm looking for a right lady and have a similar interests as mine.

I usually go out sometime on weekends. Sometime I went to some place with deafies group for socialize. I have met some deaf ladies there. When I met them. We were have like just simple conversations. They knows that I am single. After we exchanged email address. Then later they seem don't really keep in touch with me. I tried to ask them if one of them if they would like to hang out with me just to get to know more with each other. But later. When I see them again. (At different place like bar and whatever.) I saw them with other guys. Some of them are dating. I was like what have I done to them? I dont understand why is this happening. I have attended to different deaf socialize events. So far no luck girl for me. I was wondering. Are they oppression and shallow? I was like this is pretty frustrated me. I am looking for a lady who have a good confident, opened-mind, ambition, not afraid to get to know me more. Willing to take chances to hang out with me. Something like that.

Do you have any suggestion or advices for me how to deal with the frustrates? What are you thinking? Let me know! Thanks.

Ryan

Oh Sweetheart,

There is no right lady/man on earth. PERIOD. Just enjoy YOUR life.. no worry abt YOUR age and YOUR time... just let it go as flow...whatever... Because you are 30 yrs old... pretty young guy. That IS NOT too late! Believe me... There are hottie ladies (millions) in the world.. U have nothing to lose! dont ya agree ??

M-

Doug5 · 02-16-2008, 12:13 AM

I read something on the internet about body language between men and women.

Supposedly when a man is interested in the girl he makes a lot of eye contact. When he is uninterested he tends to stare at her mouth, avoiding eye contact.

I found it amusing cuz I have a hard time understanding women, so I focus on the lips. Im sending the wrong signals

Silentwolfdog · 02-16-2008, 05:38 AM

^ Heh. It can't be helped. You could just tell them that only way for you to "understand" women better is to look at their lips. Women like the fact that man is actually listening to them. lol

You know what I did when I find a guy I liked? I looked away from him. I become too shy and overwhelmed that I avoid eye contact whenever I can.

That kind of signal tell em that I am not interested which is not what I meant.

Also, on news one person said everyone is not supposed to look for Mr/Ms Right, but a friend. Just don't only look for romantic, sex, and love but also friendship as well.

It makes sense to me. You would want someone to share your feeling with and someone to spend the time with, but in more loving way. So you need to be able to see the friend within someone you like.

Doug5 · 02-17-2008, 03:59 PM

yeah its wild how someone can grow on you during a friendship.

Kalista · 02-18-2008, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

I noticed that Ryan hasnt posted in this thread since he started it. Maybe he found a woman?

Ryan probably is hidding in your closet to watch you in your bedroom. You better hurry up to check your closet.

Freaky Cat · 02-18-2008, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalista

Ryan probably is hidding in your closet to watch you in your bedroom. You better hurry up to check your closet.

haha funny!

shel90 · 02-18-2008, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalista

Ryan probably is hidding in your closet to watch you in your bedroom. You better hurry up to check your closet.

LOL! We have way too many clothes so it would be hard for him to fit in my closet.

GarnetTigerMom · 02-18-2008, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shel90

LOL! We have way too many clothes so it would be hard for him to fit in my closet.

I have to tel everybody stay out of my closet! lol ,,,Don't steal my clothes LOL

Freaky Cat · 02-18-2008, 11:36 AM

and dont pee in the closet as my best friend did when she was young.. she was sleepwalking and peed in the closet thinking its the bathroom.. hahaha!

lumbingmi · 02-19-2008, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalista

Ryan probably is hidding in your closet to watch you in your bedroom. You better hurry up to check your closet.

Ryan must be gay!

mountaingirl · 05-06-2008, 05:39 PM

Hey,

I am a hearing girl involved with a deaf man and our differences in whether or not we can hear, has never really been the problem. He always thought he wanted a deaf girl, and then he met me

Sometimes what you think you want and then what you come to find out really matters, can be really different. I would encourage you to remain open to everyone- hearing or not. Plus I think it's good that people cross over eachothers boundaries because that's what divides us and that is the very thing we all hate soo much- to be seperated. I get it as a hearing girl with the deaf community. When I first met my guy, he wanted a deaf girl like I said. Part of me never felt good enough because of that. Or how bout when he's with everyone that's deaf and I can't keep up with the signing. You know what I do? I get over it and make my way. I want "him" deaf or not. I've never even seen him as deaf- I see him.

SouthFella · 05-08-2008, 09:34 AM

Deaf and and hearling loss ladies prefer hearie men . Their parents probably taught them that. Look for a nice hearie guy with a good job, he can learn to sign.. I noticed that in my early years at Gallaudet... Oh well .. Don't give up trying though.. I married a hearie gal .. ha ha You deaf gals almost drove me crazy !!!

Kalista · 05-08-2008, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthFella

Deaf and and hearling loss ladies prefer hearie men . Their parents probably taught them that. Look for a nice hearie guy with a good job, he can learn to sign.. I noticed that in my early years at Gallaudet... Oh well .. Don't give up trying though.. I married a hearie gal .. ha ha You deaf gals almost drove me crazy !!!

Well you have not been washing my sheets since 1998. What ashame on you!

SouthFella · 05-08-2008, 09:47 AM

Kalista you havent made any dirty sheets latley... heheheh I burned yer old sheets.. and roasted some marshmallows...

Pinky678 · 05-08-2008, 08:05 PM

Exactly! My fiance is hearing and know sign language. He is handsome and good job. I am deaf. I don't want to get marry with deaf man. It's not work out for me. I learned from my mom. I am happy with my hearing man!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthFella

Deaf and and hearling loss ladies prefer hearie men . Their parents probably taught them that. Look for a nice hearie guy with a good job, he can learn to sign.. I noticed that in my early years at Gallaudet... Oh well .. Don't give up trying though.. I married a hearie gal .. ha ha You deaf gals almost drove me crazy !!!

katie2d · 05-08-2008, 08:37 PM

You guys are lucky. I was with a deaf guy on and off for about 6 years and just found out about a month ago that he is back with his druggie ex. He never even told me, he just stopped texting and coming around. He borrowed money from me, took my vicodin (which is her drug of choice) and then stopped coming around. I saw him in court today (it was work related) and he didn't even acknowledge me and afterward I saw him walking down the street texting someone. I tried texting him several times, but he won't answer. I am so bummed. He is planning on moving to Oregon soon and I was sad about that, but I hoped we could at least stay friends and I could visit him once in a while. Are all guys like that?

Pinky678 · 05-08-2008, 09:22 PM

It was same problem with me before. My ex bf and I were off on off on off on off. I decide it's finished with him! I moved on my life with hearing man in my hometown. If your ex bf isn't work out for you. He is cheap and bummed! Because he is using drug with his gf. I can tell that. If you're not happy with him. Just let him go. If he is not good for you. I hope for you to find a right man in future. Just take your time. I found a right man from god answered my pray. Me and my fiance are together for 4 half years now.

Your ex bf is wrong to borrow your money for his addictive. Don't give him money on drug. He wanted to use your money. It's not worth it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by katie2d

You guys are lucky. I was with a deaf guy on and off for about 6 years and just found out about a month ago that he is back with his druggie ex. He never even told me, he just stopped texting and coming around. He borrowed money from me, took my vicodin (which is her drug of choice) and then stopped coming around. I saw him in court today (it was work related) and he didn't even acknowledge me and afterward I saw him walking down the street texting someone. I tried texting him several times, but he won't answer. I am so bummed. He is planning on moving to Oregon soon and I was sad about that, but I hoped we could at least stay friends and I could visit him once in a while. Are all guys like that?

01-14-2008, 05:33 PM	#31 (permalink)
Silentwolfdog a toku fangirl Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 666	With this phrase "Nice guy finish last." I always added "Sometimes they get the best one." Only if they learn to stop and actually look at ones that were with them. After all, a nice girl finish last as well. Trust me. I totally agree with this Bear's phrase "You pass up some very good hearts, when you over look that slightly or severely overweight woman." I am one of those that wait for nice guy that finish last. Since they are last, it means I have to wait longer than most. But I am waiting, only for one that don't give up in the middle of "race." Most deaf guys where I live don't go to college. Usually it is deaf women who go. I know education isn't important but this does sent an uncomfortable messages to me. What is deaf guy's goal? What does he do for free time? Etc. If he works as janitor but yet understand the world, then I will be happy with him regardless of where he works. I am an odd one, I like to have a deep conversation with someone and if they don't provide me that, then I get bored. __________________ If you are using red or blue font, there's a good chance that I am not reading your posts due to it being blended into background! I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. ~Sarah William Check my art at http://silentwolfdog.deviantart.com

01-14-2008, 08:53 PM	#33 (permalink)
shel90 Sun Whorshipper Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: A Desert Rat that has found herself in Maryland Posts: 12,237 Blog Entries: 1	[quote=Silentwolfdog;897157]With this phrase "Nice guy finish last." I always added "Sometimes they get the best one." Only if they learn to stop and actually look at ones that were with them. After all, a nice girl finish last as well. Trust me. I totally agree with this Bear's phrase "You pass up some very good hearts, when you over look that slightly or severely overweight woman." I am one of those that wait for nice guy that finish last. Since they are last, it means I have to wait longer than most. But I am waiting, only for one that don't give up in the middle of "race." Most deaf guys where I live don't go to college. Usually it is deaf women who go. I know education isn't important but this does sent an uncomfortable messages to me. What is deaf guy's goal? What does he do for free time? Etc. If he works as janitor but yet understand the world, then I will be happy with him regardless of where he works. I am an odd one, I like to have a deep conversation with someone and if they don't provide me that, then I get bored.[/QUOTE] U are not the only one who is odd...I am the same too. I have dated several deaf guys and it is those who challenge me intellectually are the ones that I fall for. The ones who talk about video games, how cool they are, and how many women they can get are the ones who bore me. I fell for this one deaf guy in New York City..he was very very creative with how he played around with English to make people laugh. I loved bantering him and having myself being challenged to come up with a better come-back. Too bad, he wasnt ready for a commitment at the time. It wasnt meant to be, I guess. __________________ ~Shel~

01-15-2008, 12:42 AM	#34 (permalink)
Silentwolfdog a toku fangirl Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 666	Yay, I am not the only one? Although, it does feel like that. Seriously, I think I could tell you are that type of person based on your posts. I also meant people in general. Not just traits I look for in a future boyfriend/husband. This is reason why I enjoyed being around people who are spiritual or act as devil's advocate, since they forced me to see it through a different perspective. The argument can be heated and so fun or very serious and thought-provoked (unsure how to say this). But those traits aren't what I have saw in potential deaf guys just yet, lol. That person you mentioned must have been fun to be around with. __________________ If you are using red or blue font, there's a good chance that I am not reading your posts due to it being blended into background! I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. ~Sarah William Check my art at http://silentwolfdog.deviantart.com

02-16-2008, 12:13 AM	#36 (permalink)
Doug5 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 161	a bit of a tangent I read something on the internet about body language between men and women. Supposedly when a man is interested in the girl he makes a lot of eye contact. When he is uninterested he tends to stare at her mouth, avoiding eye contact. I found it amusing cuz I have a hard time understanding women, so I focus on the lips. Im sending the wrong signals

02-16-2008, 05:38 AM	#37 (permalink)
Silentwolfdog a toku fangirl Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Earth Posts: 666	^ Heh. It can't be helped. You could just tell them that only way for you to "understand" women better is to look at their lips. Women like the fact that man is actually listening to them. lol You know what I did when I find a guy I liked? I looked away from him. I become too shy and overwhelmed that I avoid eye contact whenever I can. That kind of signal tell em that I am not interested which is not what I meant. Also, on news one person said everyone is not supposed to look for Mr/Ms Right, but a friend. Just don't only look for romantic, sex, and love but also friendship as well. It makes sense to me. You would want someone to share your feeling with and someone to spend the time with, but in more loving way. So you need to be able to see the friend within someone you like. __________________ If you are using red or blue font, there's a good chance that I am not reading your posts due to it being blended into background! I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. ~Sarah William Check my art at http://silentwolfdog.deviantart.com

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02-17-2008, 03:59 PM	#38 (permalink)
Doug5 Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 161	yeah its wild how someone can grow on you during a friendship.

02-18-2008, 11:36 AM	#43 (permalink)
Freaky Cat Space - it's like heaven! Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: ArKaNsAs Posts: 9,962	and dont pee in the closet as my best friend did when she was young.. she was sleepwalking and peed in the closet thinking its the bathroom.. hahaha!

05-06-2008, 05:39 PM	#45 (permalink)
mountaingirl Mountaingirl Join Date: May 2008 Location: Montana Posts: 2	Remain open Hey, I am a hearing girl involved with a deaf man and our differences in whether or not we can hear, has never really been the problem. He always thought he wanted a deaf girl, and then he met me Sometimes what you think you want and then what you come to find out really matters, can be really different. I would encourage you to remain open to everyone- hearing or not. Plus I think it's good that people cross over eachothers boundaries because that's what divides us and that is the very thing we all hate soo much- to be seperated. I get it as a hearing girl with the deaf community. When I first met my guy, he wanted a deaf girl like I said. Part of me never felt good enough because of that. Or how bout when he's with everyone that's deaf and I can't keep up with the signing. You know what I do? I get over it and make my way. I want "him" deaf or not. I've never even seen him as deaf- I see him.

05-08-2008, 09:34 AM	#46 (permalink)
SouthFella Registered User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Colorado Posts: 67	Deaf and and hearling loss ladies prefer hearie men . Their parents probably taught them that. Look for a nice hearie guy with a good job, he can learn to sign.. I noticed that in my early years at Gallaudet... Oh well .. Don't give up trying though.. I married a hearie gal .. ha ha You deaf gals almost drove me crazy !!!

05-08-2008, 09:47 AM	#48 (permalink)
SouthFella Registered User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Colorado Posts: 67	Kalista you havent made any dirty sheets latley... heheheh I burned yer old sheets.. and roasted some marshmallows...

05-08-2008, 08:37 PM	#50 (permalink)
katie2d Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 117	You guys are lucky. I was with a deaf guy on and off for about 6 years and just found out about a month ago that he is back with his druggie ex. He never even told me, he just stopped texting and coming around. He borrowed money from me, took my vicodin (which is her drug of choice) and then stopped coming around. I saw him in court today (it was work related) and he didn't even acknowledge me and afterward I saw him walking down the street texting someone. I tried texting him several times, but he won't answer. I am so bummed. He is planning on moving to Oregon soon and I was sad about that, but I hoped we could at least stay friends and I could visit him once in a while. Are all guys like that?

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