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Old 11-28-2007, 11:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Relationship ending.....

Hi. I am a hearing guy in a relationship with a hearing woman. I have posted here a couple times in the past. I decided to post here because this is the only place I can think of where it won't turn into a flame fest.

I don't have a lot of serious relationship experience and my five month relationship is ending. What do you do when it's almost over and you can barely breathe because you're having a difficult time handling it? I don't know how to deal and my mind won't let me relax... It's starting to affect me at work too. I would appreciate any advice you're willing to give..
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Old 11-28-2007, 11:15 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by GTP-Guy View Post
Hi. I am a hearing guy in a relationship with a hearing woman. I have posted here a couple times in the past. I decided to post here because this is the only place I can think of where it won't turn into a flame fest.

I don't have a lot of serious relationship experience and my five month relationship is ending. What do you do when it's almost over and you can barely breathe because you're having a difficult time handling it? I don't know how to deal and my mind won't let me relax... It's starting to affect me at work too. I would appreciate any advice you're willing to give..
This may come as a shock to you but why not more or less memorize what you just said above and convey this to the gal you're so obviously in love with?

Btw, welcome to Alldeaf!
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Old 11-28-2007, 11:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Well, I'm pretty sure she knows but for some reason, which she won't tell me she is ending it.
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Old 11-29-2007, 12:02 AM   #4 (permalink)
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How is it starting to affect you at work?

If you think it's going to end, think about the pros and cons of your relationship.

Is it worth saving or should you end it? There's no point in trying to prolong something that you know will end. If you know for sure that she will dump you, dump her first... let her go.

There are plenty of fishes in the ocean. It's not the end of the world for you.
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Old 11-29-2007, 12:04 AM   #5 (permalink)
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There are plenty of fishes in the ocean. It's not the end of the world for you.
That would not make him to feel any better, and it is definitely not problem-solving.
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Old 11-29-2007, 07:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Well, I'm pretty sure she knows but for some reason, which she won't tell me she is ending it.
Talk to her. Tell her that you feel that something is going to happen and that you want to know. Ask her how she feels about this relationship and if she wants to continue or not. If she doesn't then you both can agree to part on good terms. I know it's hard and it hurts but give it some time and you'll be okay.
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Old 11-29-2007, 08:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome to Alldeaf, GTP-Guy

May I ask you, how old are you? I have two sons who are 20's. I know, what you went through with girlfriend broke up. It hurts to my sons too. I always be there for my son to give them support.

I can imagine, what broke up the relationship causes you heart break and grief. It is none of our business but why did she break up with you. Did she tell you why or reason? Some women and men sometime won't admit themselves why do they break up their relationship.

If you are 20's or 30's, there is a plently ahead of time in your life. I know, it is so hard at the being to move on with our life. It is so hard on me when my husband passed away last Nov 2nd, 2006. I hardly date with guys because I love my husband so much.

I could not kiss with guy because I feel like that I was cheating on my husband. I had been with him for ten years. I can imagine what you went through with new woman. You only had with her for 5 months.

My son had his girlfriend recently - They only together for less than 6 months, they broke up. Of course, my son was deeply depressed and hurt. I emphazied him, he has so many friends who love him. Hang out with friends, work, etc... It will help his grief healing.

Hang in there !
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Old 11-29-2007, 08:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Is it worth saving or should you end it? There's no point in trying to prolong something that you know will end. If you know for sure that she will dump you, dump her first... let her go.
At once when someone who dump to boyfriend or girlfriend. It will lead into continue dump ( not stable in the relationship ). Not worth go back to same person, it would not work due to dishonest or cheat with other person.

Quote:
There are plenty of fishes in the ocean. It's not the end of the world for you.
yes exactly what I told my son.
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Old 11-29-2007, 09:13 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Thank you all for your advice.. She didn't even tell me why, she just completely stopped talking to me. I have no idea what happened. That's why it is so difficult. Hopefully with time things will get easier.
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Old 11-29-2007, 10:22 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Thank you all for your advice.. She didn't even tell me why, she just completely stopped talking to me. I have no idea what happened. That's why it is so difficult. Hopefully with time things will get easier.
Man, I would be devastated too if a guy ended it without telling me why. It is so hard to get a closure. There would be a thousand questions and it would be hard to focus on work or whatnot.

Are you seeking a closure from her? Would her telling you why help you cope with it better?

Seeing that you have little experience in dating field, unfortunately, there are people out there who will end it without a closure. It is a rude awakening for you. Fortunately there are others with maturity will end relationships with closure that both seek in order to move on or remain as friends.

I know it sounds easier being said than done but please hang in there. Go out with buddies or get into your hobbies to keep your mind off. Writing a letter releasing all emotions will help too - up to you if you want to email or mail to her or not but in the end, YOu will feel better.

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Old 11-29-2007, 10:38 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Yeah.. I think if I knew why it would help a lot. I was hoping maybe her phone just broke or something.. It is an Apple I-Phone, but I don't think I'm that lucky.
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Old 11-29-2007, 11:01 AM   #12 (permalink)
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wow, sound like u having hard time in your relationship with the woman you are crazy about. I know ending a relationship is never easy to do. Relationships that have run their course are something that we all have to deal with as we move through life. Sometimes people just don’t belong together and its hard for both parties to come to terms with. Most people don’t like to reject others or be rejected. Yet ending a relationship is often necessary to let new love in. Whether it’s an office relationship, a marriage, a friend or a relationship with your hairdresser, walking the path you need to walk will be easier if you do what’s right.

The first thing you should do is that the moment you realize that you’re no longer into the person you’re with is let them know. It doesn’t do anyone any good to pretend there’s hope and a future when none exists. If you’ve spent time together and shared feelings then how they feel should be important to you. Letting them know quickly is better on you both so get right to the point as soon as you can.

The next thing you’ll need to keep in mind when you realize your relationship is ending is that you need to be precise. You can’t beat around the bush and expect it will cause you less pain. Someone once said that the truth will set you free and it makes perfect sense in this case. The more honest you are about your feelings the quicker and easier it will be to say goodbye.

Hope this advice helps in some way for you.
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Old 12-05-2007, 09:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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update

Well, she wouldn't talk or respond to any kind of communication.. So I could not deal with it anymore and left her a voice mail telling her I was ending it. I just wanted to say thanx to all of you who were nice and gave me advice..
It hurts but my stomach feels better since I'm not wondering what's going on.
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Old 12-05-2007, 11:56 PM   #14 (permalink)
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May I suggest you that if you want to keep her out of your mind is do something that you enjoy alot like your hobby or hang out with a friends who care about ya. Good Luck and go easy.
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