GarnetTigerMom

IS IT TRUE THAT A WOMAN SHOULDN’T PURSUE A MAN OR INITIATE A RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE HE WILL LOSE INTEREST WITHOUT THE CHALLENGE?

A friend of mine told me she read a book that said women should never ask men out, call men , show men they care in the beginning of the relationship or act in an aggressive fashion because it takes away the challenge for a man. What do you think about this advice?

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Deafness

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Deafilmedia

not true.

It is cute to tell a man that you like him.

I did.

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Banjo

Completely rubbish.

jillio

I think that is outdated advise.

justbeautiful

Completely outdated.

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:♥:

SimpleMan

It depends..... If you dont want a man that cares about you, then don't pursue a man..... Most women get with guys who don't give a damn, because it's usually the guys that "don't give a damn" that are aggressive. The 'good guys' are usually the ones that are too shy to go up to the woman. So, if you're female, and meet a guy when you're out..... if he hits on you, he's probly only wants one thing. But, if there's a guy you like who seems 'quiet', sure, go up to him, cause he's more likely to be a good guy.

I've always considered myself to be a shy person..... but people who know me tell me don't see me as shy. I think it's because as long as another person 'breaks the ice', then I'm fine. I'm just too shy to 'break' it myself.

I'm pretty sure that very many good guys are like me, while I know for fact that 99.9% of assholes are the ones that will walk right up and hit on you.

I think women are much better off by watching the guy for a bit, and then initiating contact herself. At least then you have more chance of meeting a worthy guy.

I hope my post helps, or at least makes sense.... (I'm still recovering from thanksgiving)

GL

Handsome_Smiley

That is kinda like saying when a women says "no," she means "yes." It makes no sense. Every guy is different, like every gal.

I say just take that advice and throw it out the window.

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Secretblend

I would like it if some lady did ask me out. I'm not good at reading people and knowing if they are interested in me or not. Therefore would like it if she did ask me out. I like it when people speak their mind instead of playing games.

shel90

Good advice, men and thanks for sharing. Maybe it can help many of us women. Many of us think if we pursue a guy, we will come across as too needy and desperate to the guy.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

arachyd

Be yourself. If you are an aggressive, outgoing woman then go ahead and ask him out. If you are a shy, quiet person let him ask you. That way your personality is obvious and there won't be any disappointment later. If you are both shy just play the old game of finding excuses (it works) to be near him and if he tries to get away let him go. If he doesn't try to stay away you can get to know each other a little better. Sometimes time with you is all it takes for a man to get brave enough to ask for a date. I'm a little aggressive so I usually just tell the guy if I like something about him and see how he responds.

GarnetTigerMom

what does cute have to do with the issue? good looks or ugly looks means nothing.

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

GarnetTigerMom

Thanks guys,, your advices will help lot of women in this questions and issue. I would have said an advice for a friend and tell her what i think, I would say:

I THINK IT’S A BUNCH OF BULL!! It’s disrespectful to men. It‘s controlling and manipulative, and demeaning to women. Games are for children, not for grown-ups who want to have healthy, meaningful relationships. The belief that women are so powerless that we somehow need to “trap” a man is sexist, even if it is a woman who espouses this belief. Men aren’t animals to be lured and domesticated. They are human beings with the same vulnerabilities and insecurities women have.

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

GarnetTigerMom

I agree with your statements and others.

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

GarnetTigerMom

ah hope you are feeling much better from thanksgiving. :-)

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Angel

Whoever wrote this book must be smoking up some banana weeds....

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

Freaky Cat

i used to ask guys when i was young.. few turned me down. I gave up on asking guys as i was working and have no life. Now years later, I got guys chasing after me! Yikes! HELP!

GarnetTigerMom

I guess some men don't like women asking them out must spooked them, I never asked a guy out expect hang out for a cup of coffee to chat. I normally let the guy ask me out. I guess some men do like bold women that ask them out for a date. Strange huh?

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Freaky Cat

i dunno.. but still its weird.. jeez.. haha.. thats why i stopped asking them out.. let them ask me out..

GarnetTigerMom

Good idea, it always best to let the guy ask a girl out on date instead of the woman asking a guy out, lol I have seen some women ask a guy out got bold move on the guy. I gues some men are still "shy" half the time they like girl and try hard to ask her out without getting too nervous or wet sweaty palms hands! lol

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Angel

haha yeah....

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"When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller

GarnetTigerMom

LOL how often do we get to see guys act nervous on a date with us women? lol

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Silentwolfdog

Replace a word "lady" with "man" then I am in the same shoes as you are. I am not good at telling if person is interested at me or not. I don't like playing game with them.

I was stunned at one time when one male told me he liked me. He told me he tried to flirt with me but I've shown no interest to him. How am I supposed to? I did not know that, so he caught me off guard and I ended up running in opposite direction, lol.

I don't regret that though. I did not feel comfortable at that time so.

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Schermy

When I was younger and before I met my husband, I asked out guys. Nothing wrong with it. As a matter of fact, a few said that they were glad that I asked because they were a little too shy to ask me.

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Kaitin

"Takes away the challenge"? Like Mount Everest or gladiator fight?

No. Be honest to guys. Guys don't lost interest because he has "no challenge" IMO.

pek1

GL,

You know, I agree with you! I've seen some women with guys that I wouldn't allow to pet my hearing dog, much less give them a ride in my van or even talk to them! Then, there's the guy who gives me a sideways look when I was in the kitchen in the basement of my dorm, washing my dishes while he was waiting for his girlfriend to use the restroom, as it's the only women's rest room in the guy's dorm. I told him he should go in there and be with him!

At the same time, I've seen women that I wouldn't allow to pet Snickers. I won't talk to broads like that . . . they're pegged and I do know them when I see them.

I'd be flattered if a woman asked me out on a date, by the way. But, just because I said 'yes' doesn't mean she gets to sleep with me. Keep your HIV to yourself, thank you.

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Pete

Oceanblue7

I find it really cute when a guy asks me out. Most the guys who asked me out are shy guys, they can be so cute and romantic.

In general it really depends on the two people involved how they feel about each other maybe each one doesn't want to get hurt or something. If they like each other it would be obvious without any words to be said bec they both feel the love in their hearts. Its always good to hear it

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Ps.103:12 He washes our sins away into the ocean
Brady's back
"We have unfinished business to take care of" Randy Moss,#81, WR

GarnetTigerMom

It really denpend on me because if a guy ask me out he have to ask me out because he like me not because he want me for sex or my body or play games. I hate players who use women get away with it. But I won't date guy who is married, into drugs or have history of rape of other women like putting pills in their drinks and come up with stupid pick up lines.

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Oceanblue7

Yes, I know what you mean. I don't like players they stink bec I did date a player a long time ago , he was 16 years older than me what a life lesson I learned after that horrible experience.

I like to meet a sweet guy who doesn't play games and is single no married out of the question. I like a gentleman whose respectful its seems so hard to find too many dogs out there lol

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Ps.103:12 He washes our sins away into the ocean
Brady's back
"We have unfinished business to take care of" Randy Moss,#81, WR

GarnetTigerMom

ah these days are hard to find a true mature gentlman even for a deaf guy to. I have hard time trusting deaf and hearing guys playing games but everything in life is always risk. :-)

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GarnetTigerMom

"The rain may be falling hard outside,
But your smile makes it all alright.
I'm so glad that you're my friend.
I know our friendship will never end."
-- Robert Alan

Oceanblue7

That's true hard to find a true mature gentleman. Right, life is a risk

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Ps.103:12 He washes our sins away into the ocean
Brady's back
"We have unfinished business to take care of" Randy Moss,#81, WR