bbnt

How well did you communcate with your family.
For those with deaf parents i'm sure you
communicated pretty well.

Was it difficult? Did your parents make an extra
effort to listen to you? Did yur family keep you
involved in ongoing conversations?

Deafness

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SilenceGold

Both my parents learned SEE. That's what I did since I was deaf.

They did keep me encouraged to have a converstation with anyone.

Yes, I believe that my mother did a lot of efforts.

OldNavyGirl

my mom knows more signs than my dad does. but since growing up, i speak, and signs, depend on how they and I talk. most of times we don't talk a lot though. just when we need to know something or whatever.

Smartiesgeek

I am just lucky. I am deaf in my family. Only one. So, My mom determined to learn the ASL, with someone that I knew her. So, She taught her alot.. and being a intereper. wow. amazing. so, Ever since from that, My mom signs alot more than my dad. My Dad can signs really good, but not REALLY GOOD as my mom. Also, My Brother can signs very well.

One thing I am just hopefully that they wont forget how to signs when I am at gallaudet and comes here to visit them. dammit.

Steel X

Yep my mother was really strict about my oral speech so it took many years to clear my speech up before now

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Fly Free

mom and older sister signs and my dad mostly used homesigns and knew enough signs to be able to get answers when he asked questions

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Enjoying life!

Teekie

I'm the only deaf person in my family, and my family don't sign so we communicate orally. Sometimes id be included in their conversations in family holiday dinners or whenever my relatives comes by and have dinner with us, but most of the time they'd forget. My aunt knew only fingerspelling so sometimes whenever we talk she'll use fingerspelling for words I didn't understand what she had said.

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ChelEler

It's kinda hard for me to say yes or no both ways, because I've been away to residence deaf school for about 12 years. I came home for the big holidays and summers. I lived with my older brother and Dad. Just three of us when I was growing up. Dad did keep me involved in most conversations, but usually did not keep up on the ongoing conversations. We spoke with voice and gestures (not sign language yet) when I was young. My brother and I didn't really talk to each other. We ARGUED!

Usually, when I was growing up, I depended on gestures and lip-reading until I got into High School, I learned sign language, but still use voice to communicate with my Dad and stepmom.

As I got older, the better I speak so now it's all oral method between me and my parents.

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Deaf258

Blah!! I just got depressed from thinking about that!

:shaking fists in air and yells like Spongebob Squarepants:
"DaAaAamn yOoOoUuUuUu, bbn-TeEeEe!"

bbnt

Sorry, I know this can be a sensitive issue for some of you but this is information I can use. I sit a parent pannels sometimes and I also have to work to stay on the rest of the family to make sure they aren't leaving Brittany out of conversations.

MsGiglz

My parents were very strict, always make sure my speeches in order. and Sign little till around 8 years old, they learned signs, we signed alot but not ASL .. PSE =)
Later, both my parents have problems. Always not tell me what's going on, so my baby brother took over, always tell me whats going on or news. Ever since he still doing at it.. Now he and his wife have 8 months old (they are hearing). they both use signs and teach their son signs which my brother believe that signs with baby is the best tool for communications. For exmaple.. signs *milk*, *no*, *daddy*, *water*, *mommy*, *sleep*.. so they know what their son is trying to say.. and they wanted their son know signs so can communicate with his aunt. (me) I think its cool and really impressive me.. (sniffs) hehe

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kuifje75

As a child, I never really had problems with that kind of stuff, until when I started going to middle school. That was when I started wanting to know what everyone had to say. At home, I speak with my voice to my family, and they sign back to me. Sometimes, if they do not understand what I said, I sign to them. I think, the family dog understands me the best of all! he he he My sister was the one who taught me so much about life, like music, style, fashion, slangs, etc... I sometimes did things with her and her friends.

Right now, if we have a family gathering, I am usually in my room anyway ignoring the whole thing. I get tired of not knowing what is going on, and when they leave or whatever, I ask my parents for their news, what was said, etc... That usually works better that way.

Sometimes, my family let me invite my friends who know SL, so that I could have someone to talk with, while everyone is bla bla bla. That really works well.

Irish Devil Dog

=/.... I am only deaf in the family. My mom signs better than anyone else in my family. Others mostly do fingerspelling or homesigns. Well, DEPEND on which day it is, I sometimes being leftout. Dont know what they saying or whats going on. I'm more likely last person in family to know whats going on . But, mostly of time I caught their lip readers =P.... But at this moment, my mom and I are starting open relationship between us that we never get along when I was teenage till last yr when she knew that I am lesbain, and after that I changed and being myself and things changed between me and my mom .

prostock19

I have met many deaf people with hearing parents and i have seen that some parents go out and learn how to sign and try their best to communicate with their kids, while others seem like they don't care to be involved that much. I just feel that if your child is deaf, learn how to sign with your child.

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Fly Free

Kuifje -- ur comment here sounds MUCH like me when i was growing up -- now a days i also tend to ignore family gatherings and etc cuz i knew i would just be left out so i saw no point in keep trying when i have done that myself for years til last summer 2002 there the family's LAST family reunion was being held same week as a deaf get together and i OFC chose to go to the deaf gathering than attend the family reunion mom was said i should be with family and i flatly said no im not going period -- later found out from mom that other family members asked her where i was and she told them what exactly i told her they all -- but i DID go to my cousin's wedding in St Louis, MO last month and saw the rest of the family members -- it was pretty funny cuz they MADE the effort after my noticable absence from the family reunion last summer -- so looked like my absence along with mom's explaination has made my statement on how i felt CRYSTAL clear

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kuifje75

I have avoided some family gatherings on purpose and bluntly told my parents "Because I will be left out as usual." This always make them but had to accept my reply. I sometimes celebrate "deaf thanksgiving" with my deaf friends, so that it is much more fun than family thanksgiving. Sometimes I do go to gatherings out of obligation, like my Aunt Stella's 85th birthday/ family reunion party. Don't want her to think that I hate her or something, ha ha ha.

Beauty2Girls

my parents are deaf so I was born to sign by them and my daughter is hearing i use my voice she hears but grow watching us, mother and father, signs she now knows signs pretty good than speak it is her first sign language.

Bythefrozenlake

my parents are deaf, divorced, but i never had a problem. But, the family beyond my parents are all hearing, so I know how some people here feel- I feel left out during fmaily events, where people gather and catch up on their own news- but usually they dont really try to communicate with my mom (at least on my moms side-- dad's side is already dying off) so at a point my mom stopped going to the family reunion. She doesnt blame them since the only time they see her is during christmas, they dont know how to interact with my mom, let alone with me.

Fly Free

right on Kuifje *smh* ive told mom the VERY same thing being blunt telling her i would be left out as always so i didnt really see a point in going -- but yes SOME haveta go to out of obligation oh well

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~Heather~

Yeah, I always been left out and I don't see the point of going for family gathering or whatever...I rather not to go. Last summer of 2002, there was family reunion, my dad wanted me to go but I , told him that I ain't coming. Im just sick of being left out all the time, tap their shoulders ask them what they all are talking about and all... so fuck it...

Fly Free

yea Heather its so annoying and it does peeve me too sheesh

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SilenceGold

I turned out the same as you. I just don't go out to the family get-together types anymore. I just avoid them anyways.

They ask annoying questions asking, "Why didn't you come?"

I just say, "I don't feel belonged..no one talks to me.." They say, "Yes we did talk to you some."

ChelEler

I'm with you all! I often feel left out in a family reunion. Good thing that my husband's deaf, so I can keep myself busy by talking to him directly. Our boys keep us busy too. We pay more attention to them than to these hearing family members of ours.

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-ChelEler-
=^.~=

~Heather~

Oh yeah same here...they just don't get it...They'd tell me, you need to talk to them more and they will talk to you -- I've done that but doesn't work, they still left me out. Ah, forget it!

Fly Free

yea ive been told that too Heather -- "go socialize and be nice" and ive done exactly that and it still accomplishes nothing

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bbnt

I thank all of you that responded so far. Your comments will be most useful when I run into parents with deaf kids I often do}. I will also be showing this to my daughters mom and that side of the family.

ShEiLdTaLiSmAn

Thats great idea, bbnt. Thats really caring parent u are... believe it or not, ur way great! Brittany must be REAL lucky to have u in her life.

As for my life... I guess its normal to complain. Everyday, more likely... I complain... what are u saying? Huh?! What?! Hello!! *that usually works. ROFL* or I'll say I'M HEREEEEE!!!! Shouting...Boy, do they hate that?! Hello and I'M HERE!! usually works. So I used that more often. Sometimes I just look at them like huh face...they did it on their own and tells me whatever is being talked about. If they dont pay any attention.. I usually shout those words. Few years back before I met few people.. I usually stays in my bedroom and watch tv. How fun! I just ignore EVERYTHING that is happening outside of my room. I'll only walk out of that room is to go to school, eat or go bathroom..and of course, normal stuff outside of the bathroom. But WILL not socialize others. They actually leave me alone. Thought I was happy. RME yahhh right ! I was dead bored. Learning shit from TV. (As I can remember, I seen disney channel and seen movies over and over.)

Then few people came in my life.. it slightly change. I stay in my bedroom STILL and complain. They dont bother me at all if I stay in my bedroom. So sometimes I'll sit in the kitchen. So whenever anyone comes by.. I bother them. They get sick of it as I can see. I finally went back into my bedroom. After while.. I turn 18. I was NEVER HOME! I am dead serious. NEVER home. Always with friends or whatever...then have place to sleep back home.

Then I met Dan...had child with him. I put my world into him. He was special to me because he saw what I had explained. Seeing that I've been left out alot in my family and u know what...whenever hes around... they explain to me whatever being talked about or I catch it easily. (HINT HINT: I know everything about Dan ... so whatever being talked about.. I just reconized what it being said on the table.) Sometimes I join in and sometimes I just fed up... silently and eat. Dan reconized (amazing! but its nice) he'll explain to me anyway.

So I guess anywhere I go.. I'll have this problem just like rest of you. EXPECT us going to deaf "world" where we can understand everything and ignore the hearing people. As for me... I dont really belong both worlds. I'm sorry to say that because almost everyone pushes me out. Now I'm out of hearing world. Deaf world.. I'll say 50/50. Its sucks big time not be able to be part of something. Right now its just me and my daughter. Signing to her, talking to her and have her learn whatever I know.

It really sucks to be a mom at young age but I love Leila, my daughter. Cant socialize with another deaf and do things at the same time. Also for hearing person... they just... I dont know.. I'll say from what u guys mostly complain about. They're ANNOYED by me. Hey, got to have something out of my chest, ya know?! Hope that'll help... bbnt.

VamPyroX

I communicated a lot with my parents when I was a child. I was always oral with my family, never signed. I did help them a bit with some signs but always ended up talking instead. When I'm out of the house, it depends on who I am with. If it's hearing people, I talk. If it's deaf people, I sign. Communication wasn't really difficult for me. Sometimes, I might ask them to repeat... other than that, I did just fine.

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CatoCooper13

Same with my Mum -- she went on to learn SEE and became an interpreter for SEE only...and my father only knew a handful of signs, mainly talked. Both my sister and I didn't mind because we could talk and lip read AND sign as well.
Now Mum's struggling in learning ASL, heheh!

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Pretty Woman

I grew up in a family who demands to speak. No signing was allowed in the house. My mother was afraid I would be backstabbing her right in front of her face and she wouldn't even know. But then when I started bringing friends over who do sign, she got used to it. till I had my very first deaf boyfriend (whom I'm going to be married to). My mother fell in love with him and wanted to learn sign. We taught her and taught her, she just kept forgeting and forgeting, so we gave up. *shrugs*