Why do some deaf

05-09-2003, 10:09 AM

Why do some deaf people prefer to date hearing only? I have a friend that she refused to date a deaf guy for it lowers her standards when it comes to dating. I was like wtf..

I don't really think it matters who you date just as long both are happy with each other.

BUt anyways, she said that she refused to look like a fool being with a deaf guy. (She is strong deaf, strong asl) that just puzzled me..

WHy would some people do that?

RosesNY · 05-09-2003, 10:33 AM

I have one freind like that don't wants to date deaf man cuz she say they are not smart and not handsome something like that and i don;t understand why she think that way

Irish Devil Dog · 05-09-2003, 10:46 AM

Good questions... For me i DONT care as long personalities come first and communicate is the KEY for the relationship to works out. I dont know why some deaf people dont wanna dating deaf people too. I guess their bad experiences or their level of education or whatever.

05-09-2003, 10:59 AM

for me I dont care about how relationship with any hearing or deaf, important hearrt, good relationship, respect each other and strong love.

DirtyOldMan · 05-09-2003, 11:02 AM

I notice that too...

I always date with hearing ladies... I don't know why. I do like to date with deaf ladies but maybe they were too intimidated by me?

I always prefer to date with a deaf lady because of the same feeling and same culture and so many more.

05-09-2003, 11:08 AM

I never had a deaf partner in the past, though that may change in the near future. I did have one night stand with a deaf guy, and he was the best out of all the partners I had sex with. (he was the only deaf one, go figure...)

I really don't care about hearing-deaf issue. If I feel compatible with the person, and love is there, then we both can work it out. Same idea for black-white relationship, or whatever.

05-09-2003, 12:09 PM

My soon to be ex-husband is deaf and I've noticed that there's a lot of miscommunication between us. His english comprehension is lower than mine, he went to both Gallaudet and NTID but never completed his studies there. I mainstreamed and never had an interpreter. I come from a 6th generation Deafie family and I thought I was better off marrying a Deaf man because "It was just so." I was definitely mistaken because we had a lot of miscommunication. I was for communicating things out, if there was a problem, it needed to be solved right there and then. He preferred to leave it and let it manifest and build up like "an onion, layer by layer". Marriage meant doing things for your spouse, "for better for worse", I realized that and knew it. I would help my husband out and wondered how come he wasn't helping me out. I started to realize I was doing everything for him. I was "shouldering" all the responsiblities and told my husband he had to do his fair share of responsibilties as a husband and as a "man". The fact we marry or date men because they are deaf , HoH or hearing makes no difference. It is the communication itself. It makes or breaks a marriage and/or relationship.

BabyPhat21 · 05-09-2003, 01:58 PM

well - some deaf guys are not cute - same as for hearing but the hearing world is more bigger than the deaf - more choices/selections

but also yeah the education is another issue. I dated this HOH guy but he was strong deaf...it was so hard to read his emails..and also immature and a jerk......... so I thought forget that...gonna stick with hearings but I have few times been interested in a deaf guy but their immaturity really bothers me. I am the girl that is conservative, likes to talk politics and about other culture......very into school...and I dont like people who get drunk or high......it makes it hard...when your values clash big time.......

Fly Free · 05-09-2003, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Freaky
It is the communication itself. It makes or breaks a marriage and/or relationship.

i agree Freaky!!!

illustrator · 05-09-2003, 02:13 PM

That's another reason why deaf ladies found out about deaf guys from umm... u know other deaf forum.

Fly Free · 05-09-2003, 02:17 PM

ive dated hearie women and deaf women -- personally i prefer dating deaf women!

javapride · 05-09-2003, 02:55 PM

communication is ALWAYS a factor and i belive in that!

BabyPhat21 · 05-09-2003, 02:55 PM

also deaf guys wearing that shirt that Deaf Girls never say no... they really think we are easy?? **** them!!!

05-09-2003, 03:16 PM

I don't wear "Deaf Girls Never Say no" tees, though I'd like one that says "Deaf Guys Never Say No"!!!

'cos that would be sooooo true.

05-09-2003, 03:57 PM

I have not dated a hearing man, I have tried to but he did not want to try cuz of communication.. HE does not want to put up trying to sign and trying to talk..

Figures..

BUt I'm sure that does not apply to everyone. There is someone out there that is willing to be patient and learn how to communicate..

But I'm dating a deaf man right now, the communication is just fine, no problem.

I think that's admirable that a deaf person is dating a hearing person where they work hard to be together, if they are extremely happy with each other -- great!

**OldNavyGirl** · 05-09-2003, 10:27 PM

i've a friend who refused to date ladies, because he had bad experience with one deaf gal? and also he is more into hearing world but he still love deafies too but just can't date deaf gals

BabyPhat21 · 05-10-2003, 03:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kuifje75
I don't wear "Deaf Girls Never Say no" tees, though I'd like one that says "Deaf Guys Never Say No"!!! 'cos that would be sooooo true.

I would want one - will wear it to the deaf events hehehe

prostock19 · 05-10-2003, 03:46 AM

I feel that I am kinda the opposite. I am hearing, who, because of circumstances, would only date a deaf girl, or, a hearing girl who in some way is involved with deaf (example, interpreter, CODA, etc). I want a girl who will understand me hanging with my deaf friends.

I do agree with everyone about communication. That is why I started to learn sign. At the time, I had a crush on my ex, and wnated to communicate better with her and her friends.

**Lasza** · 05-10-2003, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Freaky
The fact we marry or date men because they are deaf , HoH or hearing makes no difference. It is the communication itself. It makes or breaks a marriage and/or relationship.

That's totally true!!! Only way is keep relationship/marriage strong based on communcation with trustworthy. I was puzzled why I felt myself as lousy lover. Later I realized that major problem for relationship is communication factor. Either, Deaf, HoH, and Hearing. All are same is HUMAN being!!!!

Catmandu · 05-10-2003, 07:21 AM

I've dated quite a few deaf guys and I've had two serious relationship with a deaf guy before I met my hearing husband from RIT. It didn't matter to me that he was hearing. We fell in love for each other. I taught my husband how to sign and he signs very well - far better than me actually hahaha! He really understands deaf world as well as I do with hearing world. We blended together beautifully. We knew each other for 7 years before we tied the knot and we've married for almost 2 years next month. Wow, we have known each other for about 9 years now. Cooooool.

allisonjoy · 05-11-2003, 01:22 AM

doesnt really apply to me-- i dont prefer hearing. i prefer deaf.

DVDFreaker · 05-11-2003, 06:03 AM

I prefer deaf, I don't mind dating a hearing girl but for some reason, I dated about 4 hearing girls in the past even the hearing girls and I have good communication but for some reason, it doesn't seem to work out. As for deaf girls, I dated mostly deaf girls and it mostly seem to work out better and I think that communciating with deaf girls are easier for me than hearing girls.

05-14-2003, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Freaky
It is the communication itself. It makes or breaks a marriage and/or relationship.

This I like

Its very true. I used to say "i wont date Deaf guys!!" But now I realized it doesnt matter. I've dated a HoH, didnt know ASL, that was weird. I've dated a Deaf guy - oh my god it was so cool - but he didnt understand all I had to say. And now there's a hearing guy - he understands me, knows what I mean, knows how I feel - but eh.. doesnt know ASL. (that'll change) So, its true that I'd rather date a Deaf guy, but settle for hearing guys because I've run into so many "retarded" Deaf guys. (no pun intended

)

**kevbo** · 05-14-2003, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by BabyPhat21
also deaf guys wearing that shirt that Deaf Girls never say no... they really think we are easy?? **** them!!!

I have that shirt because I refuse to date a deaf girl.

deafgal01 · 05-14-2003, 12:47 PM

sometimes opposites just attract. In one sense, hearing can help the deaf be more independent, etc. In another sense, deaf could be happier with deaf if there's no communication with the hearing partner. Some deaf people can be immature compared with their hearing peers. It all depends on the environment each individual has lived in. I prefer a hearing guy myself cuz I live in a hearing world dispute that fact that I have a profound hearing loss and communicate via oral (not sign) with family. My guy is learning sign language as another way to communicate with me because I'm learning that language so I have another way to communicate with my people. But yeah, people (especially closed minded people) have to open up their hearts and minds and look to the personalities of each individual for deciding who to date (not if they're deaf or hearing).

SilenceGold · 05-14-2003, 02:19 PM

"Language is at heart of what it means to be human. But which language?"

prostock19 · 05-14-2003, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by allisonjoy
doesnt really apply to me-- i dont prefer hearing. i prefer deaf.

You know you prefer me

Just kiddin

LeviathanC · 05-14-2003, 08:09 PM

When I dated some hearing girls (no serious relationship at all), they seems like they are more close-minded and don't want to talking about anything such as made dirty jokes, etc. That made me irrariated (sp?) because it made me feel like limited to talk about anything at all. Then I had been dated with 3-4 deaf girls, they seems they are more open-minded and don't mind to talk anything at all. Weird...big difference between both of them. From now, I perfer with HOH/deaf girls. But I find that it's very rare to find the hearing open-minded girls that are willing to learn about sign language. Also, I find that it's very rare to find the deaf girls to being very attractive than hearing girls. I don't know why.

SilenceGold · 05-14-2003, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LeviathanC
When I dated some hearing girls (no serious relationship at all), they seems like they are more close-minded and don't want to talking about anything such as made dirty jokes, etc. That made me irrariated (sp?) because it made me feel like limited to talk about anything at all. Then I had been dated with 3-4 deaf girls, they seems they are more open-minded and don't mind to talk anything at all. Weird...big difference between both of them. From now, I perfer with HOH/deaf girls. But I find that it's very rare to find the hearing open-minded girls that are willing to learn about sign language. Also, I find that it's very rare to find the deaf girls to being very attractive than hearing girls. I don't know why.

I found the same thing too. Very hard to find a hearing girl who is all involved with a deaf man. I guess it depends on what the deaf man has that attracts the woman to get into you.

I'm talking about like, "I got the beer and I'm naked. Want to have fun?" Last time I made a similar recommendation to a hearing ex...I got insulted and the whole school found out about it.

With my wife before I married her, she told me, "I know where my dad hides his whiskey, let's get it."

However, why some deaf people preferred to date hearing people are because they wanted some intelligence in the relationship.

sweetstrawberry · 05-14-2003, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GoldenLeaf74
for me I dont care about how relationship with any hearing or deaf, important hearrt, good relationship, respect each other and strong love.

i agree with you,Goldenleaf!!!

05-09-2003, 10:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
BostonIceFire Guest Posts: n/a	Why do some deaf Why do some deaf people prefer to date hearing only? I have a friend that she refused to date a deaf guy for it lowers her standards when it comes to dating. I was like wtf.. I don't really think it matters who you date just as long both are happy with each other. BUt anyways, she said that she refused to look like a fool being with a deaf guy. (She is strong deaf, strong asl) that just puzzled me.. WHy would some people do that?

05-09-2003, 02:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
Fly Free Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Roosted in the DC area! Posts: 9,101	ive dated hearie women and deaf women -- personally i prefer dating deaf women! __________________ Enjoying life!

05-10-2003, 03:46 AM	#18 (permalink)
prostock19 Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Tiverton, RI Posts: 3,312	I feel that I am kinda the opposite. I am hearing, who, because of circumstances, would only date a deaf girl, or, a hearing girl who in some way is involved with deaf (example, interpreter, CODA, etc). I want a girl who will understand me hanging with my deaf friends. I do agree with everyone about communication. That is why I started to learn sign. At the time, I had a crush on my ex, and wnated to communicate better with her and her friends. __________________

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05-09-2003, 10:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
RosesNY Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 975	I have one freind like that don't wants to date deaf man cuz she say they are not smart and not handsome something like that and i don;t understand why she think that way

05-09-2003, 10:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
Irish Devil Dog Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 1,501	Good questions... For me i DONT care as long personalities come first and communicate is the KEY for the relationship to works out. I dont know why some deaf people dont wanna dating deaf people too. I guess their bad experiences or their level of education or whatever.

05-09-2003, 10:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
GoldenLeaf74 Guest Posts: n/a	for me I dont care about how relationship with any hearing or deaf, important hearrt, good relationship, respect each other and strong love.

05-09-2003, 11:02 AM	#5 (permalink)
DirtyOldMan Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Tulip town Posts: 618	I notice that too... I always date with hearing ladies... I don't know why. I do like to date with deaf ladies but maybe they were too intimidated by me? I always prefer to date with a deaf lady because of the same feeling and same culture and so many more.

05-09-2003, 11:08 AM	#6 (permalink)
kuifje75 Guest Posts: n/a	I never had a deaf partner in the past, though that may change in the near future. I did have one night stand with a deaf guy, and he was the best out of all the partners I had sex with. (he was the only deaf one, go figure...) I really don't care about hearing-deaf issue. If I feel compatible with the person, and love is there, then we both can work it out. Same idea for black-white relationship, or whatever.

05-09-2003, 12:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
Freaky Guest Posts: n/a	My soon to be ex-husband is deaf and I've noticed that there's a lot of miscommunication between us. His english comprehension is lower than mine, he went to both Gallaudet and NTID but never completed his studies there. I mainstreamed and never had an interpreter. I come from a 6th generation Deafie family and I thought I was better off marrying a Deaf man because "It was just so." I was definitely mistaken because we had a lot of miscommunication. I was for communicating things out, if there was a problem, it needed to be solved right there and then. He preferred to leave it and let it manifest and build up like "an onion, layer by layer". Marriage meant doing things for your spouse, "for better for worse", I realized that and knew it. I would help my husband out and wondered how come he wasn't helping me out. I started to realize I was doing everything for him. I was "shouldering" all the responsiblities and told my husband he had to do his fair share of responsibilties as a husband and as a "man". The fact we marry or date men because they are deaf , HoH or hearing makes no difference. It is the communication itself. It makes or breaks a marriage and/or relationship.

05-09-2003, 01:58 PM	#8 (permalink)
BabyPhat21 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: CALI Posts: 3,107	well - some deaf guys are not cute - same as for hearing but the hearing world is more bigger than the deaf - more choices/selections but also yeah the education is another issue. I dated this HOH guy but he was strong deaf...it was so hard to read his emails..and also immature and a jerk......... so I thought forget that...gonna stick with hearings but I have few times been interested in a deaf guy but their immaturity really bothers me. I am the girl that is conservative, likes to talk politics and about other culture......very into school...and I dont like people who get drunk or high......it makes it hard...when your values clash big time.......

05-09-2003, 02:13 PM	#10 (permalink)
illustrator Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Benbrook Posts: 4,594	That's another reason why deaf ladies found out about deaf guys from umm... u know other deaf forum.

05-09-2003, 02:55 PM	#12 (permalink)
javapride Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: hawaii Posts: 6,511	communication is ALWAYS a factor and i belive in that!

05-09-2003, 02:55 PM	#13 (permalink)
BabyPhat21 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: CALI Posts: 3,107	also deaf guys wearing that shirt that Deaf Girls never say no... they really think we are easy?? **** them!!!

05-09-2003, 03:16 PM	#14 (permalink)
kuifje75 Guest Posts: n/a	I don't wear "Deaf Girls Never Say no" tees, though I'd like one that says "Deaf Guys Never Say No"!!! 'cos that would be sooooo true.

05-09-2003, 03:57 PM	#15 (permalink)
BostonIceFire Guest Posts: n/a	I have not dated a hearing man, I have tried to but he did not want to try cuz of communication.. HE does not want to put up trying to sign and trying to talk.. Figures.. BUt I'm sure that does not apply to everyone. There is someone out there that is willing to be patient and learn how to communicate.. But I'm dating a deaf man right now, the communication is just fine, no problem. I think that's admirable that a deaf person is dating a hearing person where they work hard to be together, if they are extremely happy with each other -- great!

05-09-2003, 10:27 PM	#16 (permalink)
OldNavyGirl Premium Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Somewhere in Illinois Posts: 3,753	i've a friend who refused to date ladies, because he had bad experience with one deaf gal? and also he is more into hearing world but he still love deafies too but just can't date deaf gals

05-10-2003, 07:21 AM	#20 (permalink)
Catmandu Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,711	I've dated quite a few deaf guys and I've had two serious relationship with a deaf guy before I met my hearing husband from RIT. It didn't matter to me that he was hearing. We fell in love for each other. I taught my husband how to sign and he signs very well - far better than me actually hahaha! He really understands deaf world as well as I do with hearing world. We blended together beautifully. We knew each other for 7 years before we tied the knot and we've married for almost 2 years next month. Wow, we have known each other for about 9 years now. Cooooool.

05-11-2003, 01:22 AM	#21 (permalink)
allisonjoy Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: rhodey isle Posts: 1,124	doesnt really apply to me-- i dont prefer hearing. i prefer deaf.

05-11-2003, 06:03 AM	#22 (permalink)
DVDFreaker Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: In The Middle Of Nowhere Posts: 3,120	I prefer deaf, I don't mind dating a hearing girl but for some reason, I dated about 4 hearing girls in the past even the hearing girls and I have good communication but for some reason, it doesn't seem to work out. As for deaf girls, I dated mostly deaf girls and it mostly seem to work out better and I think that communciating with deaf girls are easier for me than hearing girls.

05-14-2003, 12:47 PM	#25 (permalink)
deafgal01 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Lost in the woods of Indiana Posts: 203	sometimes opposites just attract. In one sense, hearing can help the deaf be more independent, etc. In another sense, deaf could be happier with deaf if there's no communication with the hearing partner. Some deaf people can be immature compared with their hearing peers. It all depends on the environment each individual has lived in. I prefer a hearing guy myself cuz I live in a hearing world dispute that fact that I have a profound hearing loss and communicate via oral (not sign) with family. My guy is learning sign language as another way to communicate with me because I'm learning that language so I have another way to communicate with my people. But yeah, people (especially closed minded people) have to open up their hearts and minds and look to the personalities of each individual for deciding who to date (not if they're deaf or hearing).

05-14-2003, 02:19 PM	#26 (permalink)
SilenceGold Registered User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 3,508	"Language is at heart of what it means to be human. But which language?"

05-14-2003, 08:09 PM	#28 (permalink)
LeviathanC Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 1,312	When I dated some hearing girls (no serious relationship at all), they seems like they are more close-minded and don't want to talking about anything such as made dirty jokes, etc. That made me irrariated (sp?) because it made me feel like limited to talk about anything at all. Then I had been dated with 3-4 deaf girls, they seems they are more open-minded and don't mind to talk anything at all. Weird...big difference between both of them. From now, I perfer with HOH/deaf girls. But I find that it's very rare to find the hearing open-minded girls that are willing to learn about sign language. Also, I find that it's very rare to find the deaf girls to being very attractive than hearing girls. I don't know why.