Vance

I wonder about 'crush' that AD'ers used often as of lately in several topics. I had this discussion with a hearie about it. The person I was chatting with was wondering what does deafie's 'crush' means... I tried my best to explain what it means in deaf 'world'. Apparently that person got it... I told that person that it means 'attract to others' or 'like you more than just friend'. That's my guess... can one of you, AD'ers correct my definition of 'crush' in deaf world if I am wrong? However that person showed me the definiton of 'crush' for hearies. Allow me pull the definition of 'crush' from dictionary.com as that person did:

n 3: temporary love of an adolescent [syn: puppy love, calf love, infatuation]

Link: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=crush

Help?

Deafness

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Taylor

Magatsu,
You bring up a very interesting point and I was wondering the same thing myself. I see the word 'crush' used frequently here at AD and I was kind of confused.

The definition you used from dictionary.com nailed it on the head. I frequently see 'Do you have a crush on.........?' I started thinking that I haven't had a 'crush' since the 7th or 8th grade.....maybe even sooner than that LOL.

I too was curious if the term 'crush' had a different meaning within the deaf community than it did in the hearing community. I'd love to see everyones thoughts about this topic.

Cheri

A Crush to me means, You found someone that is interesting and like that person, and hope to hook up and see where it would lead to. Hope that makes sense.

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Liebling:-)))

Interesting thread.

Some of English language between America and British are not same. I thought "crush" is an American language until I read your thread. I was like

Yes, I often saw the word "crush" around here AD for a year since I registered here last January 2004. It took me few months to recongize what they are talking about.

We (hearies & deafies) do not use those word "crush" in England but "fancy" when we mention how much we attract gals, guys, teachers, eg. Something like that: I fancy my teacher but I notice that American use "crush" when they mentioned how they crush their teachers.

Thank you for bring your interesting subject here.

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Liebling:-)))

Your post got me wondering because you are hearing.

What you use the word when you attract somebody?

British language: We (hearing and deaf) use the word "fancy" when we attract somebody.

Something like that: I fancy my teacher, eg.

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Taylor

I've actually heard the word 'fancy' used here too, but not often

First, there are friendships. If you like somebody more than a friend, you can say 'I like you more than a friend'. I typically use these when it is more than a normal friendship, but not as far as dating, love, etc....
There are also other ways of saying this 'You have become very special to me' or 'I really enjoy your company....more so than just a friend'.

If I tell you that I am getting strong feelings for you, it means more than a close friend...but not love yet

I think one of the problems here is if I tell somebody I enjoy chatting with them....it is taken to mean more than it really is....I'm not sure how I can have a 'crush' on somebody if I don't know them..and I don't know how somebody can fall in love (or even develop feelings) from a couple of meetings in person or on-line chats...make sense?

Liebling:-)))

I know what you mean, Taylor.

I use those word "fancy" when I was teenager. "Whisper to my friends, wow "that guy, I really fancy".
I would not use those word to say him personally when we date but I would say "I like you alot" or "I really enjoy your company alot" eg.

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Liebling:-)))

I has the feeling it's nothing do with "crush"/"fancy" because you enjoy yourself chatting with online gals or guys. Why should I "crush" on them which I doesnt know them in real life well but I heard alot that online partners fall in love each other but I never had an experience like this.

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Malfoyish

I'm with Cheri on this one - I believe a crush to be an obvious interest in another - an attraction/infatuation with someone. The one crushing is inclined to want to get to know as much as possible about the one they have a crush ON, and in turn, see if this is someone that they can fall in love with later.

Reba

I wish I could use a video to show "crush" visually. It is like a young girl looking at a photo of a guy she has a crush on. Her eyebrows go up, she stares at the picture, and she sighs deeply and slowly. Then she clutches the photo to her heart.

"Crush" usually means someone is secretly attracted romantically to another person. It is usually an attraction that will never be realized, such as a student has a crush for a teacher, or a teen has a crush for a famous singer, or a shy girl has a crush for a popular school football player.

A crush is someone you have daydreams and fantasies about.

Fly Free

the use of "crush" is typically reserved for teens altho yea true many deafies still would use "crush" but its not in the same meaning as it should be cuz the person someone REALLY likes would eventually KNOW that he/she likes him/her ALOT via friends who wanted to pass on the news to the person of interest and thus try to hook the 2 up for a date to get to know eachother and all that dating routine

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Beowulf

Let me be blunt here, okay? A crush is when you wanna bonk somebody's brains out.

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OldNavyGirl

oh pleaseeeeeeee - Not everyone would think that way - maybe JUST YOU.

OldNavyGirl

my opinion - It means u have like someone more than friends and wanting to get know this person more, likes to have fun to getting know each other and see how it goes even wanting to meet in person and see if there are any interests between each other. even though we're not teenagers. LOL

Beowulf

You think so? That is highly unlikely, because the term "crush" arrives at a time when the hormone levels are raging at their highest, you know, i.e., during teen years?
Of course i could be wrong and we are all still suffering those dang puberty pains, they really smart ya know.
:asshole:

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Cheri

Now the ladies here know your definition of crush, I don't see any ladies would take up your offer.

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Beowulf

And..????
Where do you hope it winds up? A handshake at the dinner table or in bed?

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OldNavyGirl

dinner table is the best answer to know one other before going any farther to bed.

Gemtun

Having a crush to me means that my heart skips a beat or goes fluttering whenever see his name or face but not know him well. I could have a crush on someone on AD or someone from TV/movies or someone working at places I frequent, etc.

Just an admirer from far away distance.

Most of crushes are short lived or rarely acted out unless a miracle happens.

It is not the same as being truly attracted to a man I know fairly well - it is more of a real "like or love" thing.


IMO.

Beowulf

You are evading the question, what is a crush?
Don't go all post mortem on me now, awwww....

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Beowulf

Hmmm, Meg, you bring a new element into this discussion, "admiring from afar." .... Okay, I get your point, but don't you think it stirs up feelings of possible romance, of wishes of what could be, ofthe idea that your life is not running as you wish it COULD be?
Jeez, don't look at me, you brought it up!

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Liebling:-)))

Interesting!!!

British way:
I fancy Ben Affleck and daydream about him... like what I say at my earlier post.

American way:
I crush Ben Afflect and daydream about him.... like what Americans alway says..


Right..... ?

I will find out from my American co-workers. I work for US army for 19 years and never heard one word "crush" until I learn something from AD forum.

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Vance

So it is not 'adolescent' thing? It can be any age?

guys & gals, thanks for sharing your opinions!

The*Empress

someone you really like, would like to cuddle and love to flirt with.

Oceanbreeze

Oh, well, this leaves me out! I was twelve the last time I had a crush on anybody ***thinking*** Well, wait a min! No, I wasn't! I was much older

So, okay, maay-be!

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Oceanbreeze

I agree with this as well. I was twelve at the time of my first crush. I've also had a few adult crushes, too. By this, I mean people who I've been attracted to. It's my rotten luck, but I tend to develop interests in people who are unattainable to me.

Ah, well.

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"There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

Gemtun

Could it be that you unconciously do this on purpose, picking out these unattainable ones so that you will not have to risk getting hurt or whatnot but justify it by saying "Oh well that person is not available anyway."? Doing this helps you avoid knowing that the person did or cant not dump you so you cant really get hurt that way.

Oceanbreeze

This is probably something to be discussed via IMs, but you raise a good point. To give you a short answer, though, I would say probably, yes.

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"There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

Gemtun