HOH girl with relationship problems - Page 2

Chuck · 08-22-2012, 02:46 AM

He's the one. He's just misunderstood. Marry him asap.

/sarcasm

**Jolie77** · 08-22-2012, 08:32 AM

I'm on board with what everyone has said in this thread. They have excellent advices. Great perspectives.

I know you want to give him the benefit of doubt because you love him, but, honey, if he is not up to par on willing to truly understand you for who you are with your hearing loss then it is his loss. If he says he loves you then he should be the one that is willing to meet you on the middle ground instead of you having to do most of the leg work to meet him. That's not how it should be. Just be direct with him and give him a choice to consider. Good Luck.

Nighteyes · 08-22-2012, 04:30 PM

You have a nice smile Brooklynreese

(Just a polite compliment. Not a 'pickup line')

Darrenh1984 · 08-23-2012, 06:26 AM

Sounds to me like you can do so much better! Don't let him dictate to you. Brilliant happy with who you are, what you do and how you do it. You shouldn't change for anyone! If he don't like it then it is clearly his loss and your gain! :-)

Darrenh1984 · 08-23-2012, 06:27 AM

Brilliant- be* crazy predictive text on my phone lol

justagirl · 09-05-2012, 06:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatdidyousay!

Your boyfriend is putting all the blame on you and calling you selfish is a 'red flag' to me. If he is calling you selfish because you are HOH , I feel he will call you other names later on. I hate to say this but people like your boyfriend do not change , they will only get more abusive as time goes on.
You are making excuses for your boyfriend and that is really not a good sign, he is starting to made you doubt your own self worth. And this how abusive
relationship happen. You're being verbal abuse and do not deserve that kind of treatment , a man that really loves his girlfriend does not make them feel bad in anyway.

I agree with everything that "whatdidyousay!" wrote. I can attest from my own personal experience. Before I met my husband I dating a hearing guy who sounds a lot like your boyfriend. The abuse not only got worse it got physical. He put me in the hospital, I managed to call 911 after he almost strangled me to death. Literally. I just kept repeating my address because I wasn't sure if there was a person on the other line. By the time the police and EMS got to me I lost consciences and spent 4 days in the ICU. I would tell you if he is like this already then it's only going to get worse, I would suggest you move on.

I am now married to a wonderful man, who is hearing, but he not only wanted to know what it was like to be deaf (we did a little experiment.) so that he could understand my world better. But he made the effort to learn SL, and to make sure I am always facing him and him facing me, when he talks. And he doesn't care if he has to wave his arms about to get my attention. He loves me so much and all he sees is me. He sees me for who I am and loves every part of me. And that is what your bf should be doing, trying to make an effort not blaming you for something that is beyond your control.

PowerON · 09-05-2012, 10:04 AM

If you see boyfriend get piss off easy on video game. Then he have angry issues. Run run run!

craigm26 · 09-09-2012, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brooklynreese

Yes he has called me selfish before but he just doesn't understand. He has no idea what its like sitting with a group of friends while they talk not being a part of the conversation at all. I try to go out with them and pretend like I am having a good time but he says I stare off into space and look sad which makes everyone around me sad. So I compromise and not ask him to stay in with me I say I wont be mad if he goes without me and that somehow makes me selfish! It is very frustrating!
I have thought about asking him to wear ear plugs before but his hearing is so good and mine is so severe it wouldn't be anything like what it is like for me and I am afraid he just wont get it!

Quick question I can find where to put a profile picture??
I would like to put one up!

yeah...these kind of feelings are the kinds where I show her the door. It's not fair to have a partner who doesn't understand how life is like for you...he needs to be supportive.

he doesn't get it. If he doesn't try to understand, show him the door.

ladysolitary85 · 09-15-2012, 03:26 PM

Wirelessly posted

I understand where your coming from. My ex and I were together for 6 yrs, I was constantly to blame for being deaf. It was MY fault that I couldnt hear, or rather I wasnt trying hard enough. Now I am with an amazing person who WANTS to know more asl and WILLINGLY signs with me at any given time just because.

you shouldnt have to change who you are for someone's benefit, thats a part of you that isnt going to go away. But rather you DESERVE to find someone who is understanding and wants to make communication easier for your relationship and will stand by you rather than degrade you. Trust me I wasted way too much time with my ex learning that.

Lau2046 · 09-15-2012, 10:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brooklynreese

I am Hard of Hearing I have had a hearing loss my whole life but in the last few years it has gone down hill. I have a moderately severe-severe hearing loss binarually. I am 23 years old. I am dating someone who is hearing and has a five year old. Recently I have noticed that we have had problems that have to do with my hearing loss. There are situations that I dont want to put myself in because I wont be able to hear and he gets upset saying I am being selfish even thouhg I tell him he can go without me. He tells me I need to try harder to hear when out with friends but doesnt try to understand how hard it is for me. He also said he feel dumb when he has to wave his arms to get my attention also not thinking of how dumb I feel not being a part of the conversations. HELP!
How do I make him understand my hearing loss and what its like for me??

I'd move on from this relationship. "Try harder to hear?" How does one do that exactly because I've been trying for 44 years without much luck.... If he's insensitive about something like your hearing, imagine what he's like with the really important issues. There's got to be a reason why he's single with a five year old and his behavior probably factors into it a lot. There are plenty of nice guys out there that wouldn't need pictures to grasp the concept of hearing loss.

Laura

MarkFromNJ · 09-16-2012, 04:07 AM

I am new here but saw your post and wanted to speak my piece as well. A boyfriend has to be able to be understanding. For him to say you are being selfish with everything I just read is very rude of him to say. I think you trying to make the relationship work is proof you are not selfish. I wish you all the best and good luck.

A Nihilist · 09-16-2012, 04:23 AM

If you're not making any progress with your boyfriend despite constant feedback it's clear that it's time for you to move on. And like others are saying from your avatar you're pretty you won't have any problems finding a more suitable boyfriend!

Expression · 09-20-2012, 12:57 PM

@Ambrosia I have to say the ear plugs is the best way for him to get an idea. I tried it once recently to see what it was like, gave me a fuller and more total respect for those who are more HoH and Deaf.

ladysolitary85 · 09-22-2012, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Expression

@Ambrosia I have to say the ear plugs is the best way for him to get an idea. I tried it once recently to see what it was like, gave me a fuller and more total respect for those who are more HoH and Deaf.

That's actually a really great idea. Play some loud music in the background and continue to talk in a normal tone, see if he gets it. If the boyfriend isn't understanding after this then I'd say you'd have to decide for yourself if you want someone who is going to give you more respect or if your going to allow him to treat you like a door mat because hun your worth much more than that, trust me.

Lau2046 · 09-22-2012, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladysolitary85

That's actually a really great idea. Play some loud music in the background and continue to talk in a normal tone, see if he gets it. If the boyfriend isn't understanding after this then I'd say you'd have to decide for yourself if you want someone who is going to give you more respect or if your going to allow him to treat you like a door mat because hun your worth much more than that, trust me.

Hearing loss is more than the absence of sound. Without my hearing aids, I hear, but I can't understand what I'm hearing all the time. Here's a plan: Take him to Greece. Plan a day at the beaches, and while he's in the water, take the rental car back to the hotel. He'll realize (eventually) that you're gone - with the rental car. Fortunately, he still has a book on survival Greek that you both studied on the plane over in his back pocket. When he returns to the hotel and starts complaining, stop him, and say: "Look, you bought the Greek survival book - couldn't you try harder to understand them?"

Laura

ladysolitary85 · 09-23-2012, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lau2046

Hearing loss is more than the absence of sound. Without my hearing aids, I hear, but I can't understand what I'm hearing all the time. Here's a plan: Take him to Greece. Plan a day at the beaches, and while he's in the water, take the rental car back to the hotel. He'll realize (eventually) that you're gone - with the rental car. Fortunately, he still has a book on survival Greek that you both studied on the plane over in his back pocket. When he returns to the hotel and starts complaining, stop him, and say: "Look, you bought the Greek survival book - couldn't you try harder to understand them?"

Laura

I like Laura's idea better lmao

Ascendant · 09-23-2012, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lau2046

Hearing loss is more than the absence of sound. Without my hearing aids, I hear, but I can't understand what I'm hearing all the time. Here's a plan: Take him to Greece. Plan a day at the beaches, and while he's in the water, take the rental car back to the hotel. He'll realize (eventually) that you're gone - with the rental car. Fortunately, he still has a book on survival Greek that you both studied on the plane over in his back pocket. When he returns to the hotel and starts complaining, stop him, and say: "Look, you bought the Greek survival book - couldn't you try harder to understand them?"

Laura

Lol...well said

sonocativo · 09-25-2012, 06:01 PM

Brooklyn and Ambrosia, My marriage is failing as well because my wife doesnt understand the nature of being deaf/HOH, she took ASL I with ne and bought books, she even plugged her ears to see what it sounds like to me in the real world, but still she is ignorant to me, saying I dont listen to her, sooo it just isnt working as with other past relationships with the hearing. I came to the conclusion that I need to find a HOH or Deaf woman to bond with as they would be more understanding with someone who shared the same issues as much as I would with them.

sparrow2 · 09-25-2012, 06:24 PM

I'm hearing, and I believe people are different, deafness is a different way of communicating. Some hearing people don't realize that they need to take on the responsibility to learn sign language, and on top of that educate those that are hearing that their girl/boy friend, etc. is deaf, hard of hearing, and bridge both worlds by signing and speaking so that hearing understands what is being signed and deaf understands what is being said. They take the easy road and try to impose on the deaf person to try harder to hear when they can't. I don't believe it's fair to the deaf person.

A deaf and hearing relationship to me is similar when you have two people from two different ethnic groups/cultures getting together. Both have different languages, cultures, communication styles. In order for the relationship to survive, both need to be assertive enough to educate those in their circle about each others cultures and communication styles so that they can bridge both worlds.

Otherwise, if one says the same, and expects the other to change their personality completely, it won't be a healthy relationship.

CoolMikey · 09-27-2012, 04:43 AM

Hello Brooklynreese, Dont give up. Try your luck dating Deaf and HOH like yourself.
You will be glad you did. Good luck.

ambrosia · 09-27-2012, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sonocativo

Brooklyn and Ambrosia, My marriage is failing as well because my wife doesnt understand the nature of being deaf/HOH, she took ASL I with ne and bought books, she even plugged her ears to see what it sounds like to me in the real world, but still she is ignorant to me, saying I dont listen to her, sooo it just isnt working as with other past relationships with the hearing. I came to the conclusion that I need to find a HOH or Deaf woman to bond with as they would be more understanding with someone who shared the same issues as much as I would with them.

My hearing, well lack of it rather lol, isn't what went wrong in our marriage. It did cause arguments though. I left him because I'm pretty sure he's manic depressive and won't do anything about. He's a bully and a tyrant, he won't take responsibitly for anything and has major anger management problems. I still think I would do okay with a hearing man, it would be nice if he'd learn ASL with me to make communication easier. I don't know it either, I know some, but I'm late deafened it isn't something I grew up.

Moose · 09-28-2012, 12:27 PM

Hey Brooklyn,

I know how you feel as I've had communication issues with hearing girls in the past and it's probably why my relationships haven't been real long-term.

I can definitely sympathize and relate to the social problems that you've experienced. Like I can never have a conversation with a group of people walking down a busy city street with all that background noise. It's frustrating knowing that you can't contribute and you feel sometimes you wouldn't be missed if you weren't there. Also, if I'm in a crowded bar on a Saturday night that has a band. I usaully end up just getting pretty drunk and end up being quite belligerent. I also tend to dominate conversations in that state, but fortunately for me I can be quite entertaining and interesting, so I've been told. Obviously it's very difficult to be able to hear over all the noise as everything seems to be magnified and there is no clarity with hearing aids.

I've kind of given up on dating for now haha, but I don't reccomend it for you. Don't resort to dating sites lol because dudes on there are either creepy or they just want one thing. Good Luck!

Island Rose · 10-01-2012, 01:08 PM

So sorry to hear that you are going through this. It's hard to leave a relationship when you love someone, but you must remember to love yourself as well. Staying with someone who puts you down and makes you feel low is not honoring yourself and the beautiful life you were meant to lead. Part of love is treating someone with kindness, understanding and respect. If you feel his intentions are good, do what you can to help him understand what you are experiencing, but remember, our perception as a person in love is always skewed in favor of our own wants and desires. Good luck! <3

tetris911 · 10-01-2012, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brooklynreese

I am Hard of Hearing I have had a hearing loss my whole life but in the last few years it has gone down hill. I have a moderately severe-severe hearing loss binarually. I am 23 years old. I am dating someone who is hearing and has a five year old. Recently I have noticed that we have had problems that have to do with my hearing loss. There are situations that I dont want to put myself in because I wont be able to hear and he gets upset saying I am being selfish even thouhg I tell him he can go without me. He tells me I need to try harder to hear when out with friends but doesnt try to understand how hard it is for me. He also said he feel dumb when he has to wave his arms to get my attention also not thinking of how dumb I feel not being a part of the conversations. HELP!
How do I make him understand my hearing loss and what its like for me??

Try harder to hear he says???? No offense but your bf sounds like a douche bag that only cares about his friends or himself than you. If he seriously wants the relationship to work then he needs to LISTEN to how you feel. Also, you do realize how many guys would kill to go out on a date with you? You're bf is going to kick himself in the ass in the long run if he doesn't change because you need to move on and worry about YOU rather than his "friends" or whatever.

good luck

tbone · 10-27-2012, 11:22 PM

Be honest with him.

If he truly loves you, then he'll understand where you're coming from. But if he's ignorant and unwilling to acknowledge where you're coming from, then leave because you do not deserve that type of treatment. In fact, no woman deserves to be treated like that in any relationship.

Continue being strong buddy!

ShariB · 11-06-2012, 09:51 AM

What I didn't like was reading how rough your boyfriend was with you. If he loves you (I understand you love him), you can work together through this. Ultimately, that may be a question for him - does he love you and is he willing to work on your relationship together.

Our losses sound similar and due to my age (2x yours +), high frequencies do not exist in my world. I've been in a relationship for a couple of decades and (I'm not illiterate, so pardon my language) ... it ain't easy.

My only concern for you is if you give up, will this be an early pattern for you. It may be what you ultimately need to do.

I read the other responses - dump him - and all we're doing is offering our opinions.

Best of luck to you.

caz12 · 11-06-2012, 02:07 PM

hun my first marriage was to total twat dickhead and that b4 my hearing loss...he had mgbgt with overdrive as he was quick to tell everyone...one day i got up courage and coasted his beloved car off hill into small revine washed my hands never looked back...last i remember him shouting down road i was f**k c**t shouting back dont ya know it.those last parting words of his was music to my ears

BikerBarbie · 02-06-2013, 11:10 AM

good boyfriend would not let you stray to far and would keep you at his elbow.to help you understand easier...
a good guy would not blame you.he would learn how to make it easier for the both of you to communicate.
if he blamed you for something you can not control its a fail.
leave him and get someone who loves are cares for you for you.
to make you feel guilty to make themselves feel better.is a relationship fail.

Kzees · 02-16-2013, 09:40 AM

just wanted to say that you're not alone you described my relationship with my wife of the past 8 years. when we first met she was aware of my HOH has even has been to the audiologist several times with me and fully understands the mechanics of hearing loss.. many of the things you described have also happened to me like her getting irritated when I don't answer her from another room, asking her to repeat herself or look at me when she talks to me irritates her and the most frustrating thing for me the misunderstanding she seems to have even though she knows better and other people have about hearing loss and the use of hearing aids. It seems to be assumed that just because you wear hearing aids that everything is fine. My hearing loss is from Birth and I went many years without the use of hearing aids. As a child I refused to wear them because of all the kidding that I got from my friends. I already had a lazy eye and had to wear patch as well as crooked teeth and had to have braces as a result over the years I lost much of my comprehension of what I did hear. Now just because I have hearing aids people think that I should be able to understand and comprehend as a normal hearing person. I get rude comments all the time from don't you hear me with your hearing aids or you're just not paying attention to me or you don't care to listen to what I have to say. they don't understand that I will never get back the lost comprehension level and that often I still have to ask people to repeat themselves. As crazy as this sounds there's been times that I wish I was completely deaf being hard of hearing is extremely difficult in a relationship where the other person has normal hearing I feel misunderstood, I feel isolated and at times I'm extremely lonely.. it seems that I live in 1 world and everybody else lives in another as of late I have even quit wearing my hearing aids, I use the excuse that I work in a noisy environment. I pull away from the conversation and even found myself just faking my understanding and saying yes to things just to get the other person to stop talking to me and not even have a clue what they said. I will just stare off in space hoping that people won't talk to me thinking that I'm preoccupied with something on my mind and thus avoid conversations and yes this includes my behavior around the house. I'm beginning to fear that my wife and I don't know each other because we don't talk to each other. I have absolutely no friends that I do things with I spend all my time alone I do spend time with my children I have a 2 and a half up year old hearing daughter and a four month old baby girl who we are already in the process of having hearing test done because she too has hearing loss. I have so many fears about this and really no 1 to talk to so I guess that's why I responded. it was nice to read that someone else also was experiencing many of the same feelings that I do if you ever want to talk I'm open if anyone that reads this would like to talk feel free to contact me I would like to get to know people more that experience the same things that I do. I'm open for suggestions from all you guys.

mr mason · 02-26-2013, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brooklynreese

I know I am free to make my own decisions. I would like to give him the benefit of the doubt because I love him. I believe that if he understands what it is like to have hearing loss we will be better. So im looking for ideas

he should love you for who you are,,not because of your hearing loss,,if this continues,,,dumb the guy and move on

08-22-2012, 02:46 AM	#31 (permalink)
Chuck Registered User Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: California Posts: 307	He's the one. He's just misunderstood. Marry him asap. /sarcasm dereksbicycles, Andy and whyteboy22 like this. __________________ I have hearing loss.. not brain loss.

08-22-2012, 08:32 AM	#32 (permalink)
Jolie77 Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kentucky, USA (The Bluegrass State) Posts: 8,514 Blog Entries: 1	I'm on board with what everyone has said in this thread. They have excellent advices. Great perspectives. I know you want to give him the benefit of doubt because you love him, but, honey, if he is not up to par on willing to truly understand you for who you are with your hearing loss then it is his loss. If he says he loves you then he should be the one that is willing to meet you on the middle ground instead of you having to do most of the leg work to meet him. That's not how it should be. Just be direct with him and give him a choice to consider. Good Luck. MushyCookies likes this. __________________ Isaiah 33:6 - "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure."

08-22-2012, 04:30 PM	#33 (permalink)
Nighteyes Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: South Africa Posts: 4	You have a nice smile Brooklynreese (Just a polite compliment. Not a 'pickup line') justagirl likes this.

09-05-2012, 10:04 AM	#37 (permalink)
PowerON Registered User Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: 37.5, 126.9 Posts: 10,325 Blog Entries: 5	If you see boyfriend get piss off easy on video game. Then he have angry issues. Run run run! __________________ • [Illustrator.Blog-alloon.com] • Don't shoot me! I'm only blogger!

09-15-2012, 03:26 PM	#39 (permalink)
ladysolitary85 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: CA Posts: 1,512	Wirelessly posted I understand where your coming from. My ex and I were together for 6 yrs, I was constantly to blame for being deaf. It was MY fault that I couldnt hear, or rather I wasnt trying hard enough. Now I am with an amazing person who WANTS to know more asl and WILLINGLY signs with me at any given time just because. you shouldnt have to change who you are for someone's benefit, thats a part of you that isnt going to go away. But rather you DESERVE to find someone who is understanding and wants to make communication easier for your relationship and will stand by you rather than degrade you. Trust me I wasted way too much time with my ex learning that. authentic likes this. __________________ Severe loss in left Profound loss in right Last edited by ladysolitary85; 09-15-2012 at 03:31 PM.

Today
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08-23-2012, 06:26 AM	#34 (permalink)
Darrenh1984 Registered User Join Date: May 2012 Location: Birmingham Posts: 41	Sounds to me like you can do so much better! Don't let him dictate to you. Brilliant happy with who you are, what you do and how you do it. You shouldn't change for anyone! If he don't like it then it is clearly his loss and your gain! :-)

08-23-2012, 06:27 AM	#35 (permalink)
Darrenh1984 Registered User Join Date: May 2012 Location: Birmingham Posts: 41	Brilliant- be* crazy predictive text on my phone lol

09-16-2012, 04:07 AM	#41 (permalink)
MarkFromNJ Registered User Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: New Jersey Posts: 91 Blog Entries: 2	I am new here but saw your post and wanted to speak my piece as well. A boyfriend has to be able to be understanding. For him to say you are being selfish with everything I just read is very rude of him to say. I think you trying to make the relationship work is proof you are not selfish. I wish you all the best and good luck.

09-16-2012, 04:23 AM	#42 (permalink)
A Nihilist Registered User Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Cumming,GA Posts: 326	If you're not making any progress with your boyfriend despite constant feedback it's clear that it's time for you to move on. And like others are saying from your avatar you're pretty you won't have any problems finding a more suitable boyfriend!

09-20-2012, 12:57 PM	#43 (permalink)
Expression Registered User Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Richmond, VA Posts: 32	@Ambrosia I have to say the ear plugs is the best way for him to get an idea. I tried it once recently to see what it was like, gave me a fuller and more total respect for those who are more HoH and Deaf. ladysolitary85 likes this.

09-25-2012, 06:01 PM	#48 (permalink)
sonocativo Registered User Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Festus, Missouri Posts: 1,338	Brooklyn and Ambrosia, My marriage is failing as well because my wife doesnt understand the nature of being deaf/HOH, she took ASL I with ne and bought books, she even plugged her ears to see what it sounds like to me in the real world, but still she is ignorant to me, saying I dont listen to her, sooo it just isnt working as with other past relationships with the hearing. I came to the conclusion that I need to find a HOH or Deaf woman to bond with as they would be more understanding with someone who shared the same issues as much as I would with them. __________________ *If you can't run with the Big Dogs, Stay on the porch.* Mike

09-25-2012, 06:24 PM	#49 (permalink)
sparrow2 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Hawaii Posts: 20	I'm hearing, and I believe people are different, deafness is a different way of communicating. Some hearing people don't realize that they need to take on the responsibility to learn sign language, and on top of that educate those that are hearing that their girl/boy friend, etc. is deaf, hard of hearing, and bridge both worlds by signing and speaking so that hearing understands what is being signed and deaf understands what is being said. They take the easy road and try to impose on the deaf person to try harder to hear when they can't. I don't believe it's fair to the deaf person. A deaf and hearing relationship to me is similar when you have two people from two different ethnic groups/cultures getting together. Both have different languages, cultures, communication styles. In order for the relationship to survive, both need to be assertive enough to educate those in their circle about each others cultures and communication styles so that they can bridge both worlds. Otherwise, if one says the same, and expects the other to change their personality completely, it won't be a healthy relationship.

09-27-2012, 04:43 AM	#50 (permalink)
CoolMikey Registered User Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 123	Hello Brooklynreese, Dont give up. Try your luck dating Deaf and HOH like yourself. You will be glad you did. Good luck.

09-28-2012, 12:27 PM	#52 (permalink)
Moose Registered User Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 31	Hey Brooklyn, I know how you feel as I've had communication issues with hearing girls in the past and it's probably why my relationships haven't been real long-term. I can definitely sympathize and relate to the social problems that you've experienced. Like I can never have a conversation with a group of people walking down a busy city street with all that background noise. It's frustrating knowing that you can't contribute and you feel sometimes you wouldn't be missed if you weren't there. Also, if I'm in a crowded bar on a Saturday night that has a band. I usaully end up just getting pretty drunk and end up being quite belligerent. I also tend to dominate conversations in that state, but fortunately for me I can be quite entertaining and interesting, so I've been told. Obviously it's very difficult to be able to hear over all the noise as everything seems to be magnified and there is no clarity with hearing aids. I've kind of given up on dating for now haha, but I don't reccomend it for you. Don't resort to dating sites lol because dudes on there are either creepy or they just want one thing. Good Luck!

10-01-2012, 01:08 PM	#53 (permalink)
Island Rose Registered User Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Hawaii Posts: 11	So sorry to hear that you are going through this. It's hard to leave a relationship when you love someone, but you must remember to love yourself as well. Staying with someone who puts you down and makes you feel low is not honoring yourself and the beautiful life you were meant to lead. Part of love is treating someone with kindness, understanding and respect. If you feel his intentions are good, do what you can to help him understand what you are experiencing, but remember, our perception as a person in love is always skewed in favor of our own wants and desires. Good luck! <3

10-27-2012, 11:22 PM	#55 (permalink)
tbone Registered User Join Date: Mar 2011 Location: Iowa Posts: 87	Be honest with him. If he truly loves you, then he'll understand where you're coming from. But if he's ignorant and unwilling to acknowledge where you're coming from, then leave because you do not deserve that type of treatment. In fact, no woman deserves to be treated like that in any relationship. Continue being strong buddy!

11-06-2012, 09:51 AM	#56 (permalink)
ShariB Registered User Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 20	It's tough What I didn't like was reading how rough your boyfriend was with you. If he loves you (I understand you love him), you can work together through this. Ultimately, that may be a question for him - does he love you and is he willing to work on your relationship together. Our losses sound similar and due to my age (2x yours +), high frequencies do not exist in my world. I've been in a relationship for a couple of decades and (I'm not illiterate, so pardon my language) ... it ain't easy. My only concern for you is if you give up, will this be an early pattern for you. It may be what you ultimately need to do. I read the other responses - dump him - and all we're doing is offering our opinions. Best of luck to you.

11-06-2012, 02:07 PM	#57 (permalink)
caz12 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 2,822	hun my first marriage was to total twat dickhead and that b4 my hearing loss...he had mgbgt with overdrive as he was quick to tell everyone...one day i got up courage and coasted his beloved car off hill into small revine washed my hands never looked back...last i remember him shouting down road i was fk ct shouting back dont ya know it.those last parting words of his was music to my ears

02-06-2013, 11:10 AM	#58 (permalink)
BikerBarbie Registered User Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: adirondacks Posts: 12	good boyfriend would not let you stray to far and would keep you at his elbow.to help you understand easier... a good guy would not blame you.he would learn how to make it easier for the both of you to communicate. if he blamed you for something you can not control its a fail. leave him and get someone who loves are cares for you for you. to make you feel guilty to make themselves feel better.is a relationship fail.

02-16-2013, 09:40 AM	#59 (permalink)
Kzees Registered User Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Michigan Posts: 7	just wanted to say that you're not alone you described my relationship with my wife of the past 8 years. when we first met she was aware of my HOH has even has been to the audiologist several times with me and fully understands the mechanics of hearing loss.. many of the things you described have also happened to me like her getting irritated when I don't answer her from another room, asking her to repeat herself or look at me when she talks to me irritates her and the most frustrating thing for me the misunderstanding she seems to have even though she knows better and other people have about hearing loss and the use of hearing aids. It seems to be assumed that just because you wear hearing aids that everything is fine. My hearing loss is from Birth and I went many years without the use of hearing aids. As a child I refused to wear them because of all the kidding that I got from my friends. I already had a lazy eye and had to wear patch as well as crooked teeth and had to have braces as a result over the years I lost much of my comprehension of what I did hear. Now just because I have hearing aids people think that I should be able to understand and comprehend as a normal hearing person. I get rude comments all the time from don't you hear me with your hearing aids or you're just not paying attention to me or you don't care to listen to what I have to say. they don't understand that I will never get back the lost comprehension level and that often I still have to ask people to repeat themselves. As crazy as this sounds there's been times that I wish I was completely deaf being hard of hearing is extremely difficult in a relationship where the other person has normal hearing I feel misunderstood, I feel isolated and at times I'm extremely lonely.. it seems that I live in 1 world and everybody else lives in another as of late I have even quit wearing my hearing aids, I use the excuse that I work in a noisy environment. I pull away from the conversation and even found myself just faking my understanding and saying yes to things just to get the other person to stop talking to me and not even have a clue what they said. I will just stare off in space hoping that people won't talk to me thinking that I'm preoccupied with something on my mind and thus avoid conversations and yes this includes my behavior around the house. I'm beginning to fear that my wife and I don't know each other because we don't talk to each other. I have absolutely no friends that I do things with I spend all my time alone I do spend time with my children I have a 2 and a half up year old hearing daughter and a four month old baby girl who we are already in the process of having hearing test done because she too has hearing loss. I have so many fears about this and really no 1 to talk to so I guess that's why I responded. it was nice to read that someone else also was experiencing many of the same feelings that I do if you ever want to talk I'm open if anyone that reads this would like to talk feel free to contact me I would like to get to know people more that experience the same things that I do. I'm open for suggestions from all you guys.

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