Icecreamgood

Hi I'm jessica! Okay so cutting to chase I am in a creative writing class. For summer assigment our teacher "thinks" it's great idea for everyone to write novel. It has be about real life and relationships. And if you haven't guess it I chose to do it on real life relationship between hearing and deaf. So I did some research on deaf culture so I know basics. For my assignment I'm basically thinking a love story with challenges. So I was hoping if you guys wills share some challenges you experience being in relationship with hearing person. Also if you will try hearing deaf relationship? Is hearing and deaf woman or man same? What are your views? Would you friends or family treat you differently if you were in relationship with deaf or hearing person? Do you get annoy when people find out your deaf and automatically think your helpless? And ..ya that it for now. Feel free to give me more ideas for my novel. And share as much as you want. I'm clueless when it comes to deaf and hearing relationships

Deafness

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drphil

Hi Jessica. To say a few "problems" in definitions: DEAF. Some of us use a Cochlear Implant. other refuse and prefer sign communication- ASL et al. Some prefer to be "voice off" can don't speak. Some "assert" DEAFness is a culture while other don't.
Aside: I have been bilateral DEAF since December 20, 2006

As you can surmise all positions are articulated here in Alldeaf.com which has generated "much" discussions.

Good luck in your "novel"

Cheers

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Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

Icecreamgood

Thanks I think I get it. And it's novel or short story -_- my teacher idiot to give it as summer assignment but that just me complaining.

Bottesini

WHy are you writing in a sort of extended pidgin English? All of us here read standard English just fine.

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Lau2046

She's not writing any differently from anyone else on the forum that I can see.

Hi Jessica - sounds like you've got quite an assignment. I have two degrees in English so I can relate.... but I've never had a teacher expect us to write a novel. That's a tad ambitious, yes?

Got Netflix? They had a great film with Sally Struthers called "And your name is Johna." Not a love story along these lines but it highlights some of the hot button issues within the deaf community, as did "Children of a Lessor God" which does deal with relationship issues between deaf and hearing. Another great film, if you can find it, is "Love is Never Silent." It was a Hallmark Special and really fantastic movie which delved into the concerns facing the deaf quite well. The lead actress, Mare Winningham, learned ASL for the role and really did a wonderful job. I mention these films only as a reference of course for background. Hopefully someone here can be of more help for your assignment. Best of luck with your novel and have a great summer.


Laura

Anij

Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

Just an idea - why don't you write about a hearing girl who spends a summer learning about people who are hoh,deaf and Deaf - how each are different (communication & culture) and how they are similar (assistive technologies, social barriers etc).

This way you can be learning while the character(s) are learning ... You can address misconceptions and many other things as well.

Many areas have ASL summer programs (1 or 2 weeks long) where people with various levels of ASL skills (from none to certified terps) go to learn more about ASL, Deaf culture, Assistive tech, etc.

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Hoh/Deaf ~ +120db deaf right , mild/mod flux left & APD
English & ASL ...PAH!!


Ignorance is NOT Bliss

Frisky Feline

does the deaf oral with hearing attitude count? deaf oral with hearing attitude vs Deaf with deaf culture/ASL user?

dereksbicycles

Oh, I'm deaf and my girlfriend is hearing. I've been trying to persuade my girlfriend to teach her cat some ASL so that I would be able to understand her cat better. However, my girlfriend doesn't think that it's worth the time.

I also had a deaf friend who refused to teach her deaf ferret ASL.

A lot of people have disagreement on who is supposed to be learning ASL and who is not supposed to be using ASL.

dereksbicycles

Basically, if my hearing girlfriend does not want to help me by calling people who wants to sell me bike cheaply, then I am not a happy camper. If I get help then I am a happy camper. Each relationship deaf/hearing or whatever are different for their own taste.

lmkmiec03

I'm a hearing woman dating a deaf man so maybe I can help from that perspective..?

We started dating in Nov 2010 and things were bumpy while we worked out some kinks... We actually broke up for 2 months, tried dating other people, missed each other and got back together.

The kinks mostly had to do with insecurities and break downs in communication. It really wasn't that much different from hearing/hearing relationships. Sometimes he would say something and I would take it wrong or I would sign something wrong. His personality is blunt. My feelings get hurt.

We still run into misunderstandings. The difference now is that we accept there are going to be times when we need to stop and clarify what we're trying to say.

Sometimes, he'll get a little paranoid when I'm talking on the phone. So, I'll sign to him who I'm talking to and what we're talking about. My ex husband used to lock himself in a room or go outside while he was on the phone. Turns out, he was having an affair. So, I totally understand what it's like to see someone talking on the phone and not sharing any details. I'm the type of person who thinks, if you're not doing anything wrong, you have nothing to hide.

I've taken sign language classes and love signing. I think that is an advantage over a relationship where the hearing person chooses not to learn. I have a deaf friend with a hearing husband who won't even fingerspell. In my opinion, it seems unfair to expect one person to adapt to your world while not trying to adapt to theirs... but, that's their relationship and it's worked for 15 years so, who am I to judge?

I've heard a lot of people say deaf/hearing relationships don't work but I think with a little patience and understanding, things can work out great!

Without a doubt, it's the best relationship I've experienced.

caz12

i knew as pricks when i was hearing and just as many pricks now (x husband biggest prick of the lot)he made no effort learn bsl even tho he came to a rehabilitation when i went deaf with me.mind you he never talk to me before went deaf

lmkmiec03

Yep Caz, people can be jerks hearing or deaf. LOL

dereksbicycles

I see many people that are not happy in deaf/hearing relationships. That hurts me. I've a hearing girlfriend who works so hard on ASL, yet I sometimes wish I had a deaf girlfriend. I think I'll enjoy it more.

lmkmiec03

You might enjoy it more. Every person/relationship is different. There are certain added stresses in a hearing/deaf relationship. I think there are little differences that both people have to get used to.

For example, when I want to tell my boyfriend something, I have to physically find him rather than yell across the house. Totally not a big deal but when we first moved in together I thought, "O man, now I have to walk all the way downstairs!? BAHHH!" I was being a baby because it was new to me.

I'm positive he feels the same way about some things... Like when he has to stop to explain a sign. He doesn't complain but I'm sure if he were upset with me otherwise, he would think, "Man, I wouldn't have to explain the meaning of these signs all day long if I were with a deaf woman."

It isn't possible for me to fully understand 100% of what it's like to be deaf and vice versa. But, we do the best we can and work on it.

If you're going through a hard time with your girlfriend, I can understand why a deaf woman seems appealing. Maybe you feel they would understand you better?