Lack of interaction with women

MattyinAus · 06-05-2012, 06:56 AM

Hey all.

I am not fully deaf. Just moderate to severe profound hearing impaired. Also mild autism. Nothing that is bad for my case.

However I am having trouble interacting with young women in general, especially at uni and around. I have been through uni 4 years already (finishing off this year), interaction with women is still as bad as my first year. Since going through counselling appointments and stuff, it still has not proved.

So what the problem is, I can't kept telling any women in general who talks to me repeat repeat repeat because I couldn't understand the words exactly in the speech but still can hear it. I find that in this sort of situation that many of them feel turned off and don't interact with me anymore. This is a common problem in my life, especially in social places. With mild aspie, it also add fuel to social interaction problems. I can't see any such improvements in near future.

I am completing my degree at end of this year, and then heading off to US working holiday for 10months or so with the program. I have no idea what is going to be like. But I am expecting similar and familiar problems with my social interaction. Being single, with lack of closeness with women is just bad. I still couldn't get with guys at all (I am straight to the extent). I am trying so hard as I can. It is really scary for anything not to happen because my hearing loss or autism traits can blow up opportunities of meeting someone 'the one'.

Do anything understand this as a problem? I wasn't trying to make a big deal. I just wish things are easier. Without judging or discriminate someone like this whose is not at fault.

drphil · 06-05-2012, 08:41 AM

Was your "condition" not "discussed" with "counselling" as to the "cause" and what can be effected to "deal with" social interactions?
What in your circumstance is the "interaction" of "hearing difficulties" with " mild autism"? What do the "medical persons" you have consulted "suggest"?
Good luck in securing "livable answers" in the near future.

MattyinAus · 06-05-2012, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drphil

Was your "condition" not "discussed" with "counselling" as to the "cause" and what can be effected to "deal with" social interactions?
What in your circumstance is the "interaction" of "hearing difficulties" with " mild autism"? What do the "medical persons" you have consulted "suggest"?
Good luck in securing "livable answers" in the near future.

I have no idea what you talking about? I can't even understand what you saying. Could you make it as simple English language please? So I can answer.

**Kalista** · 06-05-2012, 10:25 AM

You need to seeing a Professional Psychiatry instead of asking us in this site. We can't answer or help with your situation.

Best of Luck

**Reba** · 06-05-2012, 10:34 AM

Maybe you're trying too hard.

MattyinAus · 06-05-2012, 06:59 PM

I have been through counsellors and that for 7 years on this topic. The situation has not changed. I didn't do anything wrong. How possible if I tried too hard? If I did, I would ended up in jail cell for stalking, raping or whatever that is criminal that I don't want to think of.

I think this place is really bad. Lot of them having very bad attitude against me. Making friends getting harder and harder these days here since I started in February 2010. People attitude gone down hill. I didn't cause them at all!

**Reba** · 06-05-2012, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyinAus

I have been through counsellors and that for 7 years on this topic. The situation has not changed. I didn't do anything wrong. How possible if I tried too hard? If I did, I would ended up in jail cell for stalking, raping or whatever that is criminal that I don't want to think of.

I think this place is really bad. Lot of them having very bad attitude against me. Making friends getting harder and harder these days here since I started in February 2010. People attitude gone down hill. I didn't cause them at all!

If you've been "through counsellors" and are still having problems, then apparently you are still a work in progress. Don't give up on the professional counseling help.

Trying too hard means focusing and stressing too much on one goal. You have to relax and not act so needy with women. We can sense desperation, and are generally not comfortable with that.

Keep working with your counselors to resolve your life issues first. Then you can relax better in society.

MattyinAus · 06-05-2012, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

If you've been "through counsellors" and are still having problems, then apparently you are still a work in progress. Don't give up on the professional counseling help.

Trying too hard means focusing and stressing too much on one goal. You have to relax and not act so needy with women. We can sense desperation, and are generally not comfortable with that.

Keep working with your counselors to resolve your life issues first. Then you can relax better in society.

I believe you haven't got what I mean to say. I said I wasn't trying too hard. I got other things to do rather than just focusing on one thing and being desperate paedophile like my ex gf. I am not desperate. I am seeking 'right ways of life'. Not 'limited ways of life'. I am not handicapped. The way the world treats me is being handicapped.

I see people including women as bullies. Internal bullies. Do I need to work on that for counselling to make them not to bully me any more? There are no such actions for me to cause this bully from this. Think about it.

The way I do, is not causing problems. Never done crime. Never done bad things. I never intend to sin to become a sin. I believe in trust, right ways of life, proper lifestyle. Guidance to counselling does not make this work. It has to be other people, including women to fix this problem since I haven't done anything.

Why it has to be so hard to communicate when I am happy like right now? I always get told that people see me not happy while I am smiling and being bright and passionate about things? Well the answer is, I can see they are not happy. Quite most of them aren't happy! Pretty much at my uni! I gotta say 'wow!'.

I am not trying to be retarded here. I am trying my best to how to put the words together of how I can attribute the understandings of what I am experiencing the problems. I never had a problem of myself. I don't go and say 'Hey, hows your %&%$ day going?', or intend to road rage, or go to change my life to become an alcoholic or drugger, or rape a women or destroy a building. Who is that? Not me! Why people sense me in wrong way?

Oh come on! Look at my life! SUCCESSFUL! I am finishing my degree this year, I am buffed up at the gym (about to go after posting this message), I have money (but that isn't really important), I got accepted to do working holiday visa to US for 12months from December this year and I have a true loving family! I have good CV! Great qualifications. So what kind of person is this? Does to take to heart to blame my aspie traits and hearing loss? You CANNOT stop these kind of people with hearing loss and aspie traits like this! That is cruel, discriminating, violence, racism and that etc.

End of rant. Off to gym and do some bulk muscles working.

drphil · 06-05-2012, 11:04 PM

You have mentioned "women" in your interactions does the same condition show up in your interactions with men?

As for your assertion of much therapy without much "success" what is the apparent "trouble"for such a causation to "continue"?

What do you expect to occur when you are "part of the working world"?

dereksbicycles · 06-05-2012, 11:09 PM

Hope you visit places in USA that has huge Deaf population so that you can get practice.

drphil · 06-06-2012, 08:40 AM

Do you use Auslan Sign Language though not "deaf" just having a "hearing Loss"?
Have you been "advised" that "perhaps" your condition is a "processing problem"? If so-what do the "doctors you have been with" suggest to deal with your " condition"?
Again much success in the near future.

MattyinAus · 06-06-2012, 06:53 PM

I do British sign language.

What is going on....please take me back...don't ruin it for me - YouTube

VacationGuy234 · 06-06-2012, 08:46 PM

Dude, fact of the matter is, it is harder for us than hearing people. Communication is a number one requirement for women. It's not you so much as the situation itself.

You can improve yourself, take sign and lip reading course; exercise to improve the physique, etc. It is not hopeless, but it's a tough environment without a level playing field.

MattyinAus · 06-06-2012, 10:20 PM

Sign language in British is my first language. Then I started speaking English and its all the same since. Lip reading course? This is how I try to hear and understand hearing people's speech.

Don't want to be objective here. I done everything as I done. I lip read, sign, try to understand. So, the problem remains. The attitude of women approach. Didn't you watch the video? It tells you. Answers your question.

dereksbicycles · 06-06-2012, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyinAus

Sign language in British is my first language. Then I started speaking English and its all the same since. Lip reading course? This is how I try to hear and understand hearing people's speech.

Don't want to be objective here. I done everything as I done. I lip read, sign, try to understand. So, the problem remains. The attitude of women approach. Didn't you watch the video? It tells you. Answers your question.

No one here has met you in person. They don't know who you are. Give yourself some time. Don't rush. Ya got your life in front of ya.

authentic · 06-06-2012, 11:35 PM

Maybe you could relocate to a bigger city so you can have a better chance to find a lady.

eirlys · 06-07-2012, 06:44 AM

Definitely give it time. Don't try too hard.. women really do sense that desperation. Also, try getting female friends first instead of trying to make your first real interactions with girls into relationships.

Also, a quote from one of my favorite anime's... always remember this because sometimes you gotta just shake your head and let it go.. "girls are scary and make no sense".

MattyinAus · 06-07-2012, 07:32 AM

I wasn't trying to be desperate. My ex gf was truely desperate for a boyfriend whose that is me! Theres a difference between making friends and desperation.

Maybe it best to avoid me then, because I am so sick and tired of everyone seeing me in wrong way. Like you said you sensing me desperation. I am not desperate. I am a happy unique guy! Thank you very much.

drphil · 06-07-2012, 08:35 AM

Matt: if you are "happy unique guy" in your present circumstances than your ongoing "difficulties" re: interacting with "women" would be a "minor trifle". Correct?

Did you consider trying to go to "singles dances"? Hopefully: you don't have " 3 left feet"! Usually there are "lots of women" there. From my observation over the years.

Know: Cha/cha.rumba/swing/rock & roll/disco steps?

**Reba** · 06-07-2012, 09:08 AM

I guess that we are sensing desperation because you are posting here for help with dealing with women. If everything was fine for you, you wouldn't be making all these posts and videos about your situation.

If you truly are happy then more power to you.

**Reba** · 06-07-2012, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drphil

...Know: Cha/cha.rumba/swing/rock & roll/disco steps?

People still cha-cha? I remember learning that dance in the 60's.

drphil · 06-07-2012, 12:55 PM

Reba: ChaChaCha still part of Latin American dance. Depends on which singles dance-one goes to.

Aside: you notice I claim dances are Cochlear Implant exercise-it was for me. Almost 5 years ago. I was Implanted and resumed all dance activities. Actually went to a dance 3 days after everything was hooked up-it sounded "weird". Remapped the next day! Apparently I helped my brain pick up the "loud music" with "quiet people speaking". All this continues to this day. Next dance tonight-8.30 to 10.30 Pm -Joy of Dance/Toronto.

VacationGuy234 · 06-07-2012, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyinAus

Sign language in British is my first language. Then I started speaking English and its all the same since. Lip reading course? This is how I try to hear and understand hearing people's speech.

Don't want to be objective here. I done everything as I done. I lip read, sign, try to understand. So, the problem remains. The attitude of women approach. Didn't you watch the video? It tells you. Answers your question.

If you are having problems with Deaf women as well, it is most likely your approach. You need a basic idea of what to say and what not to say. Also, you can't take the rejection personally as the women you meet don't even know you yet.

Grab some basic dating books and start reading, dating is learned behavior not magic.

rockin'robin · 06-07-2012, 01:28 PM

Can;t give too much input here...but I'd loosen up and stop taking things so seriously...just have fun, take ur time....It's true that a lot of ladies don't understand guys, and vise-versa....you're still young, and what's the hurry?....And I would also sit down and really think about myself...maybe even ask ur friends how you come across to women....There are a lot of lonely, even desperate people in this world....and they don't always make the best partners...Finding someone that enjoys the same things you do....easy to get along with...trustworthy, etc., etc., isn't easy...or the whole world would be happy. Unfortunately, they aren't and are still looking and hoping for a lifetime partner.

You could also be looking in the wrong places?....And don't forget...you might sort of like an overweight, even a "plain Jane" lady...but think that's she's not for you....so think again....some of these ladies are real "gems"....Everyone has faults, whether it be overweight or not very attractive.

MattyinAus · 06-07-2012, 07:15 PM

I think its more of a place. Australia have 22.5million people. Townsville city is like 200,000, its a remote city of north Queensland state.

Its all about drinking stupidity lifestyle here, especially at colleges. I believe its the place more of me instead. I got one more semester left to get out of here! No way to come back and live, just only for visits.

I used to dance rock n roll. I couldn't find a partner and I'm always odd one out at the dance and that. Partner dance is still a problem for me too. I am pretty much lonely in most certain things especially women.

I want to be VERY honest here as I am. I never intend to cause this problem with them. I just telling you guys what is going on and wonder why. Not acting desperation to 'wish' or that kind of crap attitude like my ex girlfriend. This video I did it was not desperation. It more of a signal and attribution for the people who need to understand other people. I try and try and try to focus on basic things, I used them and still hurting me. I wasn't trying too hard. If I was, there would be police knocking on my door, senior residential assistant would kick me out of the dorms etc etc as you know the laws.....

I do know what to do and I do KNOW what is going on with myself, internally. I do KNOW what I DID intentionally. I have no idea what has turned women off these days. They only seem really shallow, picky, alcoholic and narrow minded. This society is getting worse. Well I gotta say this is the conclusion of where I stay for uni in last 3-4 years. Its certainly a place. I need to go to big city, like Gold Coast, Brisbane etc.

As well heading off to the world's third largest populated country, USA......that would be biggest change for me. New world, new life, new everything. Everything will be resetted. That is right?

deafdyke · 06-07-2012, 07:51 PM

Matty, coming to the US will be awesome. You can learn ASL and get involved in the Deaf community.
That's the key....and start out as friends and let it see how it develops.

MattyinAus · 06-07-2012, 09:23 PM

This is what I am looking forward to. I will be working at ski resort at Park City, Utah where Sundance film is. I find out this next month!

I heard that Salt Lake City have massive deaf community, even they own a deaf school and all of that? Hope I meet someone special there

drphil · 06-08-2012, 08:46 AM

Matt: have you experienced "women trouble" in the local "deaf community" using BSL or "Australian Sign language"? Whether in fact you are "part of the "local deaf community" -unstated-as such. Or is it ONLY when you speak?

I would guess shifting to the United States which apparently uses ASL which I understand is different than BSL would seem to entail further study to understand. How much "time/effort" required to acquire fluency in ASL-unknown?

Have you considered what you will do IF you become bilateral DEAF in the future? Aside: I had almost 15 years between being DEAF in my right ear only, to bilateral DEAF in December 2006.

MattyinAus · 06-08-2012, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drphil

Matt: have you experienced "women trouble" in the local "deaf community" using BSL or "Australian Sign language"? Whether in fact you are "part of the "local deaf community" -unstated-as such. Or is it ONLY when you speak?

I would guess shifting to the United States which apparently uses ASL which I understand is different than BSL would seem to entail further study to understand. How much "time/effort" required to acquire fluency in ASL-unknown?

Have you considered what you will do IF you become bilateral DEAF in the future? Aside: I had almost 15 years between being DEAF in my right ear only, to bilateral DEAF in December 2006.

No women trouble in deaf community. Rarely I meet women around my age who is deaf or hearing impaired. Not much population for that here in Australia. They are like very uniform all over the country being unseen. I am not part of deaf community at the moment because they have lack of services and events and stuff. Its very quiet.

Well I have this American exchanger here last semester who does ASL, I signed to her in english and didn't had any problems. I will have to learn more about it though.

How would I know if I become bilateral deaf in the future? My hearing reports say its in cyclic.

deafdyke · 06-08-2012, 09:30 PM

Matty, you're not alone. Let me guess....you were mainstreamed with very little exposure to other dhh kids right?
I used to get a lot of deaf mainstreamed guys IMing me on AIM wanting a girlfriend!
I deal with the same thing.....I don't have a lot of issues with making friends, but it's been very hard to break the fourth wall to something more.
(oral and mainstreamed

)

06-05-2012, 06:56 AM	#1 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	Lack of interaction with women Hey all. I am not fully deaf. Just moderate to severe profound hearing impaired. Also mild autism. Nothing that is bad for my case. However I am having trouble interacting with young women in general, especially at uni and around. I have been through uni 4 years already (finishing off this year), interaction with women is still as bad as my first year. Since going through counselling appointments and stuff, it still has not proved. So what the problem is, I can't kept telling any women in general who talks to me repeat repeat repeat because I couldn't understand the words exactly in the speech but still can hear it. I find that in this sort of situation that many of them feel turned off and don't interact with me anymore. This is a common problem in my life, especially in social places. With mild aspie, it also add fuel to social interaction problems. I can't see any such improvements in near future. I am completing my degree at end of this year, and then heading off to US working holiday for 10months or so with the program. I have no idea what is going to be like. But I am expecting similar and familiar problems with my social interaction. Being single, with lack of closeness with women is just bad. I still couldn't get with guys at all (I am straight to the extent). I am trying so hard as I can. It is really scary for anything not to happen because my hearing loss or autism traits can blow up opportunities of meeting someone 'the one'. Do anything understand this as a problem? I wasn't trying to make a big deal. I just wish things are easier. Without judging or discriminate someone like this whose is not at fault.

06-05-2012, 08:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,115	Was your "condition" not "discussed" with "counselling" as to the "cause" and what can be effected to "deal with" social interactions? What in your circumstance is the "interaction" of "hearing difficulties" with " mild autism"? What do the "medical persons" you have consulted "suggest"? Good luck in securing "livable answers" in the near future. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

06-05-2012, 10:34 AM	#5 (permalink)
Reba Granny Terp Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: South Carolina Posts: 39,155	Maybe you're trying too hard. __________________ Tell us the truth about Benghazi!

06-05-2012, 11:04 PM	#9 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,115	You have mentioned "women" in your interactions does the same condition show up in your interactions with men? As for your assertion of much therapy without much "success" what is the apparent "trouble"for such a causation to "continue"? What do you expect to occur when you are "part of the working world"? __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

06-06-2012, 08:40 AM	#11 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,115	Do you use Auslan Sign Language though not "deaf" just having a "hearing Loss"? Have you been "advised" that "perhaps" your condition is a "processing problem"? If so-what do the "doctors you have been with" suggest to deal with your " condition"? Again much success in the near future. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

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06-05-2012, 10:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
Kalista Premium Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 8,112	You need to seeing a Professional Psychiatry instead of asking us in this site. We can't answer or help with your situation. Best of Luck

06-05-2012, 06:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	I have been through counsellors and that for 7 years on this topic. The situation has not changed. I didn't do anything wrong. How possible if I tried too hard? If I did, I would ended up in jail cell for stalking, raping or whatever that is criminal that I don't want to think of. I think this place is really bad. Lot of them having very bad attitude against me. Making friends getting harder and harder these days here since I started in February 2010. People attitude gone down hill. I didn't cause them at all!

06-05-2012, 11:09 PM	#10 (permalink)
dereksbicycles Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: 60202 Posts: 3,793	Hope you visit places in USA that has huge Deaf population so that you can get practice.

06-06-2012, 08:46 PM	#13 (permalink)
VacationGuy234 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 2,794	Dude, fact of the matter is, it is harder for us than hearing people. Communication is a number one requirement for women. It's not you so much as the situation itself. You can improve yourself, take sign and lip reading course; exercise to improve the physique, etc. It is not hopeless, but it's a tough environment without a level playing field. __________________

06-06-2012, 10:20 PM	#14 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	Sign language in British is my first language. Then I started speaking English and its all the same since. Lip reading course? This is how I try to hear and understand hearing people's speech. Don't want to be objective here. I done everything as I done. I lip read, sign, try to understand. So, the problem remains. The attitude of women approach. Didn't you watch the video? It tells you. Answers your question.

06-06-2012, 11:35 PM	#16 (permalink)
authentic Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: San Francisco Posts: 6,097	Maybe you could relocate to a bigger city so you can have a better chance to find a lady. __________________

06-07-2012, 06:44 AM	#17 (permalink)
eirlys Registered User Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Minnesota Posts: 235	Definitely give it time. Don't try too hard.. women really do sense that desperation. Also, try getting female friends first instead of trying to make your first real interactions with girls into relationships. Also, a quote from one of my favorite anime's... always remember this because sometimes you gotta just shake your head and let it go.. "girls are scary and make no sense". deafdyke, dereksbicycles and MushyCookies like this. __________________ Severe/Profound HoH in right ear, Moderate HoH in left. Has Otosclerosis and is actively avoiding the BAHA Very happy with Rexton Insite Power BTE Would rather be playing Soul Calibur V or WoW!

06-07-2012, 07:32 AM	#18 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	I wasn't trying to be desperate. My ex gf was truely desperate for a boyfriend whose that is me! Theres a difference between making friends and desperation. Maybe it best to avoid me then, because I am so sick and tired of everyone seeing me in wrong way. Like you said you sensing me desperation. I am not desperate. I am a happy unique guy! Thank you very much.

06-07-2012, 08:35 AM	#19 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,115	Matt: if you are "happy unique guy" in your present circumstances than your ongoing "difficulties" re: interacting with "women" would be a "minor trifle". Correct? Did you consider trying to go to "singles dances"? Hopefully: you don't have " 3 left feet"! Usually there are "lots of women" there. From my observation over the years. Know: Cha/cha.rumba/swing/rock & roll/disco steps? __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

06-07-2012, 09:08 AM	#20 (permalink)
Reba Granny Terp Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: South Carolina Posts: 39,155	I guess that we are sensing desperation because you are posting here for help with dealing with women. If everything was fine for you, you wouldn't be making all these posts and videos about your situation. If you truly are happy then more power to you.

06-07-2012, 12:55 PM	#22 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,115	Reba: ChaChaCha still part of Latin American dance. Depends on which singles dance-one goes to. Aside: you notice I claim dances are Cochlear Implant exercise-it was for me. Almost 5 years ago. I was Implanted and resumed all dance activities. Actually went to a dance 3 days after everything was hooked up-it sounded "weird". Remapped the next day! Apparently I helped my brain pick up the "loud music" with "quiet people speaking". All this continues to this day. Next dance tonight-8.30 to 10.30 Pm -Joy of Dance/Toronto. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

06-07-2012, 01:28 PM	#24 (permalink)
rockin'robin Registered User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Florida Posts: 15,285	Can;t give too much input here...but I'd loosen up and stop taking things so seriously...just have fun, take ur time....It's true that a lot of ladies don't understand guys, and vise-versa....you're still young, and what's the hurry?....And I would also sit down and really think about myself...maybe even ask ur friends how you come across to women....There are a lot of lonely, even desperate people in this world....and they don't always make the best partners...Finding someone that enjoys the same things you do....easy to get along with...trustworthy, etc., etc., isn't easy...or the whole world would be happy. Unfortunately, they aren't and are still looking and hoping for a lifetime partner. You could also be looking in the wrong places?....And don't forget...you might sort of like an overweight, even a "plain Jane" lady...but think that's she's not for you....so think again....some of these ladies are real "gems"....Everyone has faults, whether it be overweight or not very attractive. Reba likes this.

06-07-2012, 07:15 PM	#25 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	I think its more of a place. Australia have 22.5million people. Townsville city is like 200,000, its a remote city of north Queensland state. Its all about drinking stupidity lifestyle here, especially at colleges. I believe its the place more of me instead. I got one more semester left to get out of here! No way to come back and live, just only for visits. I used to dance rock n roll. I couldn't find a partner and I'm always odd one out at the dance and that. Partner dance is still a problem for me too. I am pretty much lonely in most certain things especially women. I want to be VERY honest here as I am. I never intend to cause this problem with them. I just telling you guys what is going on and wonder why. Not acting desperation to 'wish' or that kind of crap attitude like my ex girlfriend. This video I did it was not desperation. It more of a signal and attribution for the people who need to understand other people. I try and try and try to focus on basic things, I used them and still hurting me. I wasn't trying too hard. If I was, there would be police knocking on my door, senior residential assistant would kick me out of the dorms etc etc as you know the laws..... I do know what to do and I do KNOW what is going on with myself, internally. I do KNOW what I DID intentionally. I have no idea what has turned women off these days. They only seem really shallow, picky, alcoholic and narrow minded. This society is getting worse. Well I gotta say this is the conclusion of where I stay for uni in last 3-4 years. Its certainly a place. I need to go to big city, like Gold Coast, Brisbane etc. As well heading off to the world's third largest populated country, USA......that would be biggest change for me. New world, new life, new everything. Everything will be resetted. That is right?

06-07-2012, 07:51 PM	#26 (permalink)
deafdyke Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Trebekistan Posts: 13,087	Matty, coming to the US will be awesome. You can learn ASL and get involved in the Deaf community. That's the key....and start out as friends and let it see how it develops. MushyCookies likes this.

06-07-2012, 09:23 PM	#27 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	This is what I am looking forward to. I will be working at ski resort at Park City, Utah where Sundance film is. I find out this next month! I heard that Salt Lake City have massive deaf community, even they own a deaf school and all of that? Hope I meet someone special there

06-08-2012, 08:46 AM	#28 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,115	Matt: have you experienced "women trouble" in the local "deaf community" using BSL or "Australian Sign language"? Whether in fact you are "part of the "local deaf community" -unstated-as such. Or is it ONLY when you speak? I would guess shifting to the United States which apparently uses ASL which I understand is different than BSL would seem to entail further study to understand. How much "time/effort" required to acquire fluency in ASL-unknown? Have you considered what you will do IF you become bilateral DEAF in the future? Aside: I had almost 15 years between being DEAF in my right ear only, to bilateral DEAF in December 2006. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

06-08-2012, 09:30 PM	#30 (permalink)
deafdyke Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Trebekistan Posts: 13,087	Matty, you're not alone. Let me guess....you were mainstreamed with very little exposure to other dhh kids right? I used to get a lot of deaf mainstreamed guys IMing me on AIM wanting a girlfriend! I deal with the same thing.....I don't have a lot of issues with making friends, but it's been very hard to break the fourth wall to something more. (oral and mainstreamed )

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