Lack of interaction with women - Page 4

DeafTim · 06-15-2012, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyinAus

I always have been labelled as a red flag to them because of the hearing aids is being visible to them. After the beginning of the conversation, her reaction becomes easily flagged about lack of understanding in the communication. I experienced plenty scoffing during the talks when I try to listen to her what she say and I have to say repeat. She just scoffing. Its so offensive by that reaction isn't it?

Yes, very offensive and hurtful..

MattyinAus · 06-15-2012, 07:52 PM

Metalangel: I'm already mature. Since I was 12 years old (now 21) I never been into trouble with anything especially school, police and that etc. I am mature already. This is why I'm saying it because I am settled. And don't match to the unsettle life of other people because I easily see them doing wrong thing. This is why I see the uni is starting to become like high school crap. This how I see it. However, I never tell this directly to anyone if they are immature or not. Never flag them.

So, it is so offensive and hurtful for women flagging on me about my hearing loss. I already mentioned this. This shows clear evidence of the environmental of uni is quite immature for dealing something that is not a big deal? Hearing loss, wearing glasses, being fat, being black or white, disabled in wheelchair and that as you name it more is what distinctive to the people who does not like this difference. This is a big problem here. I don't usually see very much people with disabilities and that have made friends with people here at uni. Our culture is very screwed up.

Everyone is almost immature as high school, this is already explained before. Yes, indeed I will be glad to leave at end of this year. So, I won't be starting my career job straight away. As some of you know this I am going to US and Canada for working holiday. I should start working at ski resort in Park City in Utah for entire season. Then I have freedom around the country until visa expires. So, this is a sign for something to change. It may change before I leave here, it probably more of this place isn't for me.

Hope you understand that I am not desperate for a relationship or marriage. If everyone acts similarly, no one will even mention that person or other is desperate or not. So, the bad attitude is what you see it is wrong for you. But it is right for that person. So, my world and my life is more of stable. I wanted to say this very honest (if you could back this up, asks my mother), I am very stable and mature. I don't want to repeat this; because it makes the sound of I am better than other people. This is not true. I am better at being myself.

Now, about the difficulties of getting a relationship or potential life partner it is difficult for me to find it, but may not limit to hearing loss or Asperger’s. Remember that? It’s the environment, location, culture, lifestyle of where I am. I realised that Townsville is NOT a place for me. I don't feel right, hence of saying it. From end of this year, I will be starting to explore the world and rest of Australia. This lifestyle will improve my chances of meeting new friends. I always wanted to live in big cities. Not just because my chances are higher there but it has more things to do to increase the chances. It is the more I can do things what I am interested in. Like play some sport teams, environmental sustainability organisation etc.

Hope you guys understand what I am trying to say.

**Reba** · 06-15-2012, 10:49 PM

I feel like we're going thru the matajan cycle again.

drphil · 06-15-2012, 11:40 PM

Will the "matajan solution" be effected?

MattyinAus · 06-15-2012, 11:45 PM

I am trying to summarize. Not cyclic process of el nino and la nina!

Just sense of humour

metalangel · 06-16-2012, 03:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyinAus

Metalangel: I'm already mature. Since I was 12 years old (now 21) I never been into trouble with anything especially school, police and that etc. I am mature already.

For one thing, don't be so sure. I thought I was 'mature' when I was 21 (and saying that makes me feel old, so thanks for that). Consider that you've come here looking for advice and then have argued or made excuses against almost every single bit that we've offered.

Still, you're determined to go out, see the world and make something more of yourself so the best of luck with your trip.

MattyinAus · 06-16-2012, 09:15 PM

Thanks.

drphil · 06-30-2012, 08:57 AM

I guess the matter is now resolved.

MattyinAus · 07-02-2012, 07:43 AM

What you mean? Rome wasn't built over. My interview has not spread that far try to impress the girls all over the world....

drphil · 07-02-2012, 08:12 AM

Did your interview shown in Australia result in any "different interaction" because the "girls/women" saw/understood what you articulated in the interview?

Have you determined if "girls/women" have Asperger "syndrome"- in your area-thus obviating non asperger females studying the matter when "interacting" with you?

MattyinAus · 07-04-2012, 12:20 AM

I have no idea mate. You asked me that question twice already.

I have no idea what you asking me that last question. Its very difficult for me to understand me. It seems this thread gone from being serious to chit chat...

drphil · 07-04-2012, 08:56 AM

Does the "fact" you don't "seem to know" girls/women" with aspergers/auditisitic syndrome suggest an "observation" that males outnumber females in this specific area by 9 - 10 to 1 have any "impact" on possible meeting re "dating"?

Off to real work: DEAF swimming shortly.

Wide discussions here in Alldeaf.com!

MattyinAus · 07-05-2012, 09:19 PM

Of course I knew there hundreds of thousands more of aspie males than females. That is not a problem. I would not able to handle this. I have been through aspie females and they are always so rude to me. Its pissing me off. I always met an aspie girl who is always a shagger. Never a virgin calm settle down please type of aspie girl. I have no idea why they are like that? Is it the society damaging for me?

Please do change for me....

drphil · 07-07-2012, 10:17 PM

Perhaps most of my comments/observations above misconstrued Matt's original posting #1
" I am not fully deaf...also mild autism. Nothing that is bad for my case".

Does in fact "having Aspergers syndrome" "different" than "mild autism"?

MattyinAus · 07-08-2012, 10:50 PM

Mild autism is same as mild symptoms of aspergers. It under different saying though. I prefer mild aspie myself.

I think the issue applies where I go always observe women following the general society to make them selves bad kind of lifestyle. Such as your friends or family who are older than you drinks alcohol, then the younger person follows that way to become 'cool' and 'social status' of them in same way. Hence why lot of women like clubbing and get on wrong way with alcohol. This is why I am finding difficulty with them because of their poor attitude and think my world is not part of the society. This prove myself I do not exist in their world. Animism isn't it?

drphil · 07-09-2012, 08:51 AM

As to the "theoretical" classification re: Aspergers vs autism: no comment. What the differentiation entails in actual persons?
The use of alcohol by "girls/women" in Australian society-no knowledge ( live in Canada).

According to the dictionary-Oxford Canadian-animism: a belief that all beings and things such as rocks,streams and wind have a living soul. On the face of it seems a bit obscure to prior discussion re " Australian female drinking"?

Off to real work: swim and ponder alldeaf.com comments.

kellycat · 07-09-2012, 05:54 PM

As a teacher who has had several autistic (Asperger's) kids, I will say that although able to function in classes fine and able to carry on a conversation, and are not "handicapped" by their condition in most senses of the word, most of them were what I would call socially awkward. Not that they replied inappropriately but they just didn't engage in a comfortable way with others. If you are awkward and stiff, it isn't going to make many women want to be with you, until you find someone willing to give you enough of a chance that they will get to know you really well, past the stiffness. This is more likely to happen if you become friends with a woman first and then falling in love just happens. I don't know if this is you, but I would bet there is some sort of behavioral/social therapy that could help if it's you.

I recently met a guy online (yep. Hearing people are single too!!) We met at the coffee shop and as we talked it felt like a job interview! Rather than easy conversation, he asked me, "So, where do you like to go?" A rather wide open question, right? Then asked me what I like to do. Then, after more interrogation and several moments of awkward silence, he asked me if I had any questions for him. We parted (and I said I wasn't interested in dating and he said he'd like to be friends too). A week later he called me to get together again. He called me 9 times in 2 days, and didn't leave a message at all. He is a very nice guy. But he comes on WAY too strong and seems incredibly needy to make a friend, and desperate to get together with me, despite not having good, flowing conversation. I'm not sure why he enjoyed it so much, I have to go back to desperation. He has no idea that is how he comes off. I even tried telling him! He just doesn't get it. So, my advice is ask a woman you know for pointers. Tell her to be BLUNT. It may not be pleasant but it could be really worth it.

drphil · 07-09-2012, 07:20 PM

As mentioned above by kellycat- much real info on some of her students-"having "autistic/aspergers" syndrome.
.
Her comments on "computer dating" are also accurate as mentioned by my username;s book: Love Smart Chapter 8- "Fishing with a "net". Pages 189 to 205. Published by Free Press 2005

MattyinAus · 07-10-2012, 07:39 PM

Im sure I had some situations like that too, but dating didn't come at all. I had absolutely no idea of what is going on during the time. I kept get confused why and what happened to the outcomes of making friends with women. I get so wrong. They always read me in wrong way because they think of me prefer them for having sex and a relationship. Most of the time I never mention or thought of sex and relationship during the time with them. I get so angry and frustrated when they mentioned those two words. It has pushed me away. I have no intentions to cause this, they just automatically do that. Now I am confused......

**Reba** · 07-10-2012, 10:16 PM

I hope someday you meet a young lady who is not part of that university crowd. Not all women are like the university ones.

MattyinAus · 07-12-2012, 07:10 AM

That should sound right. I should get the right women at perfect time especially I prefer live with aspergers and hearing loss over diseases and cancers.......

drphil · 07-13-2012, 09:04 AM

For most of us-having which "difficulties-physical/mental" isn't under our conscious control.

Thus how one reacts is-what to do about "dealing with"- a lesson taught at Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto-many years ago in their courses: Dealing/coping with your Hearing loss.

Much wisdom for any "problem"

MattyinAus · 07-25-2012, 06:33 AM

I'm so terribly screwed up. So attracted to being a loser.

drphil · 07-25-2012, 08:55 AM

As my user name has said many times: the ONLY person you control is YOU!

Frisky Feline · 07-25-2012, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba

I feel like we're going thru the matajan cycle again.

Not really. Matajan has deep thought issues.

MattyinAus · 07-25-2012, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drphil

As my user name has said many times: the ONLY person you control is YOU!

Drphil is a name of tv show. It doesn't have a meaning? :S

Well I didn't do anything to her at all. No reaction. I just feel internally screwed up. I have been fooled. Such a joke am I?

drphil · 07-25-2012, 10:15 PM

Matt: Dr Phil is the name of the TV programme of Dr Philip C McGraw PhD. He has been on TV over 10 years.

No comment on your last few sentences.
Cheers-otherwise

Mimsy · 07-26-2012, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattyinAus

I'm so terribly screwed up. So attracted to being a loser.

Matty, I don't think you are screwed up. I think you obsess over having a girlfriend and maybe you should just relax, start mingling in groups of girls until you eventually find the right one. There are so many girls out there and I know for sure that there's one waiting for you, your match. But take it slow, just live your life without obsessing and then one day she will be standing right in front of you ready to say Hello. Yes?

MattyinAus · 07-27-2012, 10:44 PM

Got that right Mimsy.

drphil · 07-28-2012, 08:56 AM

Matt: Perhaps your immediate "goal" is completing your university studies and graduate-this year? Given that you may be "moving"_Brisbane?- new potentials "might start to actualize"?

06-15-2012, 11:40 PM	#94 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	Will the "matajan solution" be effected? __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

06-30-2012, 08:57 AM	#98 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	I guess the matter is now resolved. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-02-2012, 08:12 AM	#100 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	Did your interview shown in Australia result in any "different interaction" because the "girls/women" saw/understood what you articulated in the interview? Have you determined if "girls/women" have Asperger "syndrome"- in your area-thus obviating non asperger females studying the matter when "interacting" with you? __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-04-2012, 08:56 AM	#102 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	Does the "fact" you don't "seem to know" girls/women" with aspergers/auditisitic syndrome suggest an "observation" that males outnumber females in this specific area by 9 - 10 to 1 have any "impact" on possible meeting re "dating"? Off to real work: DEAF swimming shortly. Wide discussions here in Alldeaf.com! __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07 Last edited by drphil; 07-06-2012 at 08:39 AM. Reason: additional info

07-07-2012, 10:17 PM	#104 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	Perhaps most of my comments/observations above misconstrued Matt's original posting #1 " I am not fully deaf...also mild autism. Nothing that is bad for my case". Does in fact "having Aspergers syndrome" "different" than "mild autism"? __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

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06-15-2012, 07:52 PM	#92 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	Metalangel: I'm already mature. Since I was 12 years old (now 21) I never been into trouble with anything especially school, police and that etc. I am mature already. This is why I'm saying it because I am settled. And don't match to the unsettle life of other people because I easily see them doing wrong thing. This is why I see the uni is starting to become like high school crap. This how I see it. However, I never tell this directly to anyone if they are immature or not. Never flag them. So, it is so offensive and hurtful for women flagging on me about my hearing loss. I already mentioned this. This shows clear evidence of the environmental of uni is quite immature for dealing something that is not a big deal? Hearing loss, wearing glasses, being fat, being black or white, disabled in wheelchair and that as you name it more is what distinctive to the people who does not like this difference. This is a big problem here. I don't usually see very much people with disabilities and that have made friends with people here at uni. Our culture is very screwed up. Everyone is almost immature as high school, this is already explained before. Yes, indeed I will be glad to leave at end of this year. So, I won't be starting my career job straight away. As some of you know this I am going to US and Canada for working holiday. I should start working at ski resort in Park City in Utah for entire season. Then I have freedom around the country until visa expires. So, this is a sign for something to change. It may change before I leave here, it probably more of this place isn't for me. Hope you understand that I am not desperate for a relationship or marriage. If everyone acts similarly, no one will even mention that person or other is desperate or not. So, the bad attitude is what you see it is wrong for you. But it is right for that person. So, my world and my life is more of stable. I wanted to say this very honest (if you could back this up, asks my mother), I am very stable and mature. I don't want to repeat this; because it makes the sound of I am better than other people. This is not true. I am better at being myself. Now, about the difficulties of getting a relationship or potential life partner it is difficult for me to find it, but may not limit to hearing loss or Asperger’s. Remember that? It’s the environment, location, culture, lifestyle of where I am. I realised that Townsville is NOT a place for me. I don't feel right, hence of saying it. From end of this year, I will be starting to explore the world and rest of Australia. This lifestyle will improve my chances of meeting new friends. I always wanted to live in big cities. Not just because my chances are higher there but it has more things to do to increase the chances. It is the more I can do things what I am interested in. Like play some sport teams, environmental sustainability organisation etc. Hope you guys understand what I am trying to say.

06-15-2012, 10:49 PM	#93 (permalink)
Reba Granny Terp Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: South Carolina Posts: 39,218	I feel like we're going thru the matajan cycle again.

06-15-2012, 11:45 PM	#95 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	I am trying to summarize. Not cyclic process of el nino and la nina! Just sense of humour

06-16-2012, 09:15 PM	#97 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	Thanks.

07-02-2012, 07:43 AM	#99 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	What you mean? Rome wasn't built over. My interview has not spread that far try to impress the girls all over the world....

07-04-2012, 12:20 AM	#101 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	I have no idea mate. You asked me that question twice already. I have no idea what you asking me that last question. Its very difficult for me to understand me. It seems this thread gone from being serious to chit chat...

07-05-2012, 09:19 PM	#103 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	Of course I knew there hundreds of thousands more of aspie males than females. That is not a problem. I would not able to handle this. I have been through aspie females and they are always so rude to me. Its pissing me off. I always met an aspie girl who is always a shagger. Never a virgin calm settle down please type of aspie girl. I have no idea why they are like that? Is it the society damaging for me? Please do change for me....

07-08-2012, 10:50 PM	#105 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	Mild autism is same as mild symptoms of aspergers. It under different saying though. I prefer mild aspie myself. I think the issue applies where I go always observe women following the general society to make them selves bad kind of lifestyle. Such as your friends or family who are older than you drinks alcohol, then the younger person follows that way to become 'cool' and 'social status' of them in same way. Hence why lot of women like clubbing and get on wrong way with alcohol. This is why I am finding difficulty with them because of their poor attitude and think my world is not part of the society. This prove myself I do not exist in their world. Animism isn't it?

07-09-2012, 08:51 AM	#106 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	As to the "theoretical" classification re: Aspergers vs autism: no comment. What the differentiation entails in actual persons? The use of alcohol by "girls/women" in Australian society-no knowledge ( live in Canada). According to the dictionary-Oxford Canadian-animism: a belief that all beings and things such as rocks,streams and wind have a living soul. On the face of it seems a bit obscure to prior discussion re " Australian female drinking"? Off to real work: swim and ponder alldeaf.com comments. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-09-2012, 05:54 PM	#107 (permalink)
kellycat Registered User Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 155	As a teacher who has had several autistic (Asperger's) kids, I will say that although able to function in classes fine and able to carry on a conversation, and are not "handicapped" by their condition in most senses of the word, most of them were what I would call socially awkward. Not that they replied inappropriately but they just didn't engage in a comfortable way with others. If you are awkward and stiff, it isn't going to make many women want to be with you, until you find someone willing to give you enough of a chance that they will get to know you really well, past the stiffness. This is more likely to happen if you become friends with a woman first and then falling in love just happens. I don't know if this is you, but I would bet there is some sort of behavioral/social therapy that could help if it's you. I recently met a guy online (yep. Hearing people are single too!!) We met at the coffee shop and as we talked it felt like a job interview! Rather than easy conversation, he asked me, "So, where do you like to go?" A rather wide open question, right? Then asked me what I like to do. Then, after more interrogation and several moments of awkward silence, he asked me if I had any questions for him. We parted (and I said I wasn't interested in dating and he said he'd like to be friends too). A week later he called me to get together again. He called me 9 times in 2 days, and didn't leave a message at all. He is a very nice guy. But he comes on WAY too strong and seems incredibly needy to make a friend, and desperate to get together with me, despite not having good, flowing conversation. I'm not sure why he enjoyed it so much, I have to go back to desperation. He has no idea that is how he comes off. I even tried telling him! He just doesn't get it. So, my advice is ask a woman you know for pointers. Tell her to be BLUNT. It may not be pleasant but it could be really worth it.

07-09-2012, 07:20 PM	#108 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	As mentioned above by kellycat- much real info on some of her students-"having "autistic/aspergers" syndrome. . Her comments on "computer dating" are also accurate as mentioned by my username;s book: Love Smart Chapter 8- "Fishing with a "net". Pages 189 to 205. Published by Free Press 2005 __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-10-2012, 07:39 PM	#109 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	Im sure I had some situations like that too, but dating didn't come at all. I had absolutely no idea of what is going on during the time. I kept get confused why and what happened to the outcomes of making friends with women. I get so wrong. They always read me in wrong way because they think of me prefer them for having sex and a relationship. Most of the time I never mention or thought of sex and relationship during the time with them. I get so angry and frustrated when they mentioned those two words. It has pushed me away. I have no intentions to cause this, they just automatically do that. Now I am confused......

07-10-2012, 10:16 PM	#110 (permalink)
Reba Granny Terp Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: South Carolina Posts: 39,218	I hope someday you meet a young lady who is not part of that university crowd. Not all women are like the university ones.

07-12-2012, 07:10 AM	#111 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	That should sound right. I should get the right women at perfect time especially I prefer live with aspergers and hearing loss over diseases and cancers.......

07-13-2012, 09:04 AM	#112 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	For most of us-having which "difficulties-physical/mental" isn't under our conscious control. Thus how one reacts is-what to do about "dealing with"- a lesson taught at Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto-many years ago in their courses: Dealing/coping with your Hearing loss. Much wisdom for any "problem" __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-25-2012, 06:33 AM	#113 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	I'm so terribly screwed up. So attracted to being a loser.

07-25-2012, 08:55 AM	#114 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	As my user name has said many times: the ONLY person you control is YOU! __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-25-2012, 10:15 PM	#117 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	Matt: Dr Phil is the name of the TV programme of Dr Philip C McGraw PhD. He has been on TV over 10 years. No comment on your last few sentences. Cheers-otherwise __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-27-2012, 10:44 PM	#119 (permalink)
MattyinAus Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Townsville, Australia Posts: 257	Got that right Mimsy.

07-28-2012, 08:56 AM	#120 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,120	Matt: Perhaps your immediate "goal" is completing your university studies and graduate-this year? Given that you may be "moving"_Brisbane?- new potentials "might start to actualize"? Mimsy likes this. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

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