Anyone else get Depression because of HOH?

I haven't exactly felt myself in the past 6 months and I think my HOH is the reason.

I'll explain, I was born profoundly deaf and I never learnt sign language since I communicate orally, extremely well I might add.
But life is no picnic for me, I struggle with group discussions, going to bars, college etc. I don't know anyone else in my town with HOH, so I feel that maybe no-one understands the struggles I go through.

All my friends are hearing and they used to be very patient with my lack of hearing, say if I went out clubbing with them they'd always grab me by the neck and shout right into my ear or type onto their phone and then show me what they're saying. But lately they stopped doing that, and I've gotten too embarrassed to ask them to repeat what they said. So I've been feeling lost in the crowd and I feel down the whole night.

I'm studying Plumbing in college and the workshop is really loud so I can't hear anyone in there, and a few other students are too nervous to talk to me so I don't bother to speak to them.

All in all, I feel really isolated. I'm spending more and more time stuck in the house with nothing to do.

This depression is really taking it's hold over me, the future looks bleak for me and I'm losing confidence in myself.

I'm not really sure what to do to get myself back to being my old self.

I wouldn't say it's because you're hard-of-hearing. I'm hard-of-hearing and I don't have depression problems.

It could be that you're stressed out with the situation of having a hard time communicating with your friends?

Wirelessly posted

Perhaps you are feeling lonely and left out. Have you considered learning sign language and attending to deaf meets? Perhaps seek out others that are deaf but oral.

We've all gone through changes because of our hearing and it is never easy.

However, by making a few adjustments things can work out better for you. Try to go out in smaller groups or one on one because in large group situations it can be hard to hear people.

Check out a relay service like Sorenson SIPRelay so you can handle phone calls and messages. Learn sign, even if you don't interact with deaf people it might come in handy someday.

You can't depend on friends to always help you out(it's not their job), you have to be self sufficient on your own.

You're not alone. Everyone, who is deaf, hits this point in their life sooner or later. Life doesn't end there, it just changes a little.

Well said VacationGuy234 I tend to avoid large crowds because it's really hard for me to follow along. Plus it's a good idea to make the best of things; if you don't feel like you're able to make a connection then try to occupy your time with a hobby. Or even go for a walk and enjoy the fresh air.

You would think that perfectly healthy people never get depressed but it does happen.

I'm sure there are plumbing forums where you would learn a thing or 2 about plumbing that you didn't learn in classroom. Pick up a thing or 2 from experienced plumber and be ahead of your classmates.

I had an ex girlfriend who had depression. I've found out that you can talk about how to combat depression for so long. At the end, you've to do things to lessen depression.I find it helpful to do things instead of talking about depression. I make new goals all the times. It helps a lot.

Babyblue said:

Wirelessly posted

Perhaps you are feeling lonely and left out. Have you considered learning sign language and attending to deaf meets? Perhaps seek out others that are deaf but oral.

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I have thought about it, but I can't find much information about Deaf meets in my area other than Singing Hands, they're a group that signs in sync to music in and around shopping centres. (I'm not really into that.)

VacationGuy234 said:

We've all gone through changes because of our hearing and it is never easy.

However, by making a few adjustments things can work out better for you. Try to go out in smaller groups or one on one because in large group situations it can be hard to hear people.

Check out a relay service like Sorenson SIPRelay so you can handle phone calls and messages. Learn sign, even if you don't interact with deaf people it might come in handy someday.

You can't depend on friends to always help you out(it's not their job), you have to be self sufficient on your own.

You're not alone. Everyone, who is deaf, hits this point in their life sooner or later. Life doesn't end there, it just changes a little.

Click to expand...

I didn't think of that.. that's very true.

How does Sorenson SIPRelay work?

A Nihilist said:

I tend to avoid large crowds because it's really hard for me to follow along. Plus it's a good idea to make the best of things; if you don't feel like you're able to make a connection then try to occupy your time with a hobby. Or even go for a walk and enjoy the fresh air.

You would think that perfectly healthy people never get depressed but it does happen.

Click to expand...

I was thinking about a lifestyle change, it does mean losing friends but I can't keep up with the clubbing scheme anymore.

dereksbicycles said:

I'm sure there are plumbing forums where you would learn a thing or 2 about plumbing that you didn't learn in classroom. Pick up a thing or 2 from experienced plumber and be ahead of your classmates.

I had an ex girlfriend who had depression. I've found out that you can talk about how to combat depression for so long. At the end, you've to do things to lessen depression.I find it helpful to do things instead of talking about depression. I make new goals all the times. It helps a lot.

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I'm not struggling with my collegework, me and my tutor have an arrangement about my hearing impairment, so I'm fine in that area. It's just not being able to have a convo with the other students that gets to me.

Tuscany said:

How does Sorenson SIPRelay work?

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You use AIM instant messenger through a relay operator to make calls. They can also take voice messages for you from hearing callers. It's free and you can use it for anything from emergency calls to ordering pizza. The only requirement is that you know how to type.

Enjoy...

These are normal feelings that just about every deaf/hoh person feels at some point.

My own solution is to get out to National Technical Institute of the Deaf (in the U.S.) and learn sign, take classes there, and get involved in the deaf community there.

You might find your own way of handling it.

VacationGuy234 said:

We've all gone through changes because of our hearing and it is never easy.
.

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Let me clarify this one. I do not have any experiences like changes or whatever you called it. I was born profoundly Deaf. I did learn ASL when i was a toddler, and still to the day.

I did not have any issue about my hearing. I know who I am and have never been afraid of telling hearing people that i m deaf. They do feel awkward when i sign in front of them and they feel LOST, not me. I can see that i am different than them. I accept who i am and keep going on in my life. I did not say that it is never easy. I just adjust things for hearing people when hearing people become frozen like a deer in the headlights.


Please don't assume " WE ". just some of us.

Seriously...there was a time in my own life when I blamed my deafness for everything that wasn't going right....failed relationships, job advancement, friends...anything I could drag up .....thinking that deafness had ruined my Life!....blamed the doctors, my mother...held in a lot of bitterness for many years....and had a chip on my shoulder because of it....

Took some Therapy and common sense to get over it.....No "happy pills" for me tho'....Life is just what you make it...so deal with it.

rockin'robin said:

....

Took some Therapy and common sense to get over it.....No "happy pills" for me tho'....Life is just what you make it...so deal with it.

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RR, some people need the "happy pills" to "deal with it". But "happy pills" alone won't help. They also need talk therapy.
I've had clinical depression and it's depressing. The "happy pills" AND talk therapy helped me till the cause of the depression "went away" (postpartum - usually will go away within a year on it's own, but having an anti-depressant and therapy made that year more bearable).

I understand you seems on control on emotional on lost control lost mood,
It is difficult to low on confidental pretty, It sound look likes low isolate, It is pretty hard for your life spending to mind, your control life suffer to grieft/sad emotional how feeling pain. how feeling comfort to support to high confidential trust to whom is best to chat to happy wisefu. I really lots of wise to accept to positive to effort to best to new friends and happy to hard for best. I do care to new friends and help to people of course. I do want to understand to patient... you should do respect to lack other people please, It is rough. I advise toencourage friends/people/ to counsellor or etc things.!

but I believe to pscychiast to help to adjust to your medicaion it doesn't work you suggest to ask to better healthly proper / supportive also family supportive sound look likes confidental! important wise!

I live in the UK, and there is a huge social stigma about depression and mental health.

I've been feeling low for nearly 6 months now, my motivation and confidence is draining away and I can't get help for it. I went to the doctors about it and they just suggest anti-depressants which I'll never take (There's a member of my family who's addicted to the pills).

I try and talk to my dad about it and he just says "chin up pal, just snap out of it." If only it was that simple...

But I'm gonna keep myself busy and take a break from people, hopefully that'll sort me out.

EDIT: I found something that might help me manage my social life and hearing loss a bit better. I'm gonna give these people a ring tomorrow.

Here's the link if you wanna take a look.

http://hearinglink.org/support

Tuscany said:

I live in the UK, and there is a huge social stigma about depression and mental health.

I've been feeling low for nearly 6 months now, my motivation and confidence is draining away and I can't get help for it. I went to the doctors about it and they just suggest anti-depressants which I'll never take (There's a member of my family who's addicted to the pills).

I try and talk to my dad about it and he just says "chin up pal, just snap out of it." If only it was that simple...

But I'm gonna keep myself busy and take a break from people, hopefully that'll sort me out.

EDIT: I found something that might help me manage my social life and hearing loss a bit better. I'm gonna give these people a ring tomorrow.

Here's the link if you wanna take a look.

Hearing Loss Support Services Provided By Hearing Link, Programmes, Courses, Community Support Volunteers & Beating The Blues

Click to expand...

I understood. it is lots of things difficult. supportive really pretty sound look likes sound. I recommend to Mental Act supportive to help you....

it is really lots of your things. It is really your health. better

I think so Health Mental supportive counselor... I think so advise to your Mental.

I've found that drinking, dating promiscuous women (although I have not been doing that much lately), reading books, writing dissertations, watching movies, busing myself with work, talking with relatives/friends, and others, seem to help me out.

Of course, this doesn't apply to all people. Just a thought, wanted to drop few tips.

LoveBlue said:

RR, some people need the "happy pills" to "deal with it". But "happy pills" alone won't help. They also need talk therapy.
I've had clinical depression and it's depressing. The "happy pills" AND talk therapy helped me till the cause of the depression "went away" (postpartum - usually will go away within a year on it's own, but having an anti-depressant and therapy made that year more bearable).

Click to expand...

That's true...and I remember the first time I sought out some help. Was referred (by a friend) to someone "who knew some sign language" at the Mental Health Clinic....and when I tried to explain how I felt...she automatically said..."Why...ur deafness is the cause of ur depression"....as if that was something I didn't know (Or thought at the time)...I never went back there and seeked out a good psycharist as my insurance would pay....Found a wonderful man who listened to me...and after 6 months, my depression lifted. Even today, I have moods of depression, which I know is "normal"....but don't blame others for it....it's life in general.

rockin'robin said:

That's true...and I remember the first time I sought out some help. Was referred (by a friend) to someone "who knew some sign language" at the Mental Health Clinic....and when I tried to explain how I felt...she automatically said..."Why...ur deafness is the cause of ur depression"....as if that was something I didn't know (Or thought at the time)...I never went back there and seeked out a good psycharist as my insurance would pay....Found a wonderful man who listened to me...and after 6 months, my depression lifted. Even today, I have moods of depression, which I know is "normal"....but don't blame others for it....it's life in general.

Click to expand...

Wow, now I have even lesser respect for the pseudo-scientific workers...

Tuscany said:

I live in the UK, and there is a huge social stigma about depression and mental health.

I've been feeling low for nearly 6 months now, my motivation and confidence is draining away and I can't get help for it. I went to the doctors about it and they just suggest anti-depressants which I'll never take (There's a member of my family who's addicted to the pills).

I try and talk to my dad about it and he just says "chin up pal, just snap out of it." If only it was that simple...

But I'm gonna keep myself busy and take a break from people, hopefully that'll sort me out.

EDIT: I found something that might help me manage my social life and hearing loss a bit better. I'm gonna give these people a ring tomorrow.

Here's the link if you wanna take a look.

Hearing Loss Support Services Provided By Hearing Link, Programmes, Courses, Community Support Volunteers & Beating The Blues

Click to expand...

that's the British denial, its old fashioned, there ARE supports, you need to open up the yellow pages, white pages in phone book (not for phone numbers but for location, visit there, but also would help to talk with your GP, family doctor about this, ask for them to make a referral to those interested cousellors, support groups, you see, with a doctors' orders/referral it makes thing happens alot quicker, people will know what you need, and they will help arrange for therapy that much faster.

Thing is, when in couselling or therapy (whatever you Brits calls it) its a sllloow- process and also a mild, or small dose of anti-depressant daily, really helps, its takes the edges off, but its *still there* just more managable and with talking sessions over time (ask for long term help), because you cant pin point exactly whats causing is, but talking and recalling things you did in the week helps identifying what you can do to cope better, and over time it WILL make it alot easier (i promise you that) to see things differently, better, and almost the same old happy self comes back -but be warned that the happy old self, does NOT stay forever, the blues comes and goes, but KNOWING what to do, or how to live with it (from long term talking sessions) really put you on the upside of it.

I have a bad depression myself, i cant handle bars, clubbing anymore, i (like rockn robin - blamed everything on my deafness - still do- to a point, nowhere as much as before- and i got a lot of it written down (sort off) and thoughts are clearer , and i can have it put into perspective.

that's the key, if you can learn to put the blues into perspective, and knowing how to shift away to enjoy what you REALLY enjoy, it makes all the differences.
chin up, yes but its never that simple, but its alot like what Bruce Lee said about punching,
At first 'punching is just a punch, then as I train punching is alot more than a punch, then when i got good, its just a punch', you see, it is similar to that kind of mentality, that ole Brits' denial, 'chin up, move along' its sort of saying, its nonsenses happens out of 'nothing' so you decide its big from nothing , what's wrong with you? its nothing, move along,

the thing is, people DONT KNOW whats happening to you, the reality of being d/Deaf, the reality of being left out, the reality of left out is indescribable at times ( i really do feel it and hate it), and at that, they (other people - hearing AND Deaf too!< but dont go that far, now not right now, focus on seeing how hearies dont understand your plight) the inexpressability of being left out is horrible, we know (as many ADers here shared this), the horrid of it is that feeling is manifested from that 'happenings to us' that became glued to our emotions and thats what causes depression (chemicals in brain is something else, but it IS associated with the repeating of it, because it feelings BECAME physical not just mental, which is why the pills will help to knock the balance back to more normal, so more normal feelings comes back)...
so yeah, get on with it Buddy, seek help (this is not same way as putting you down as you're 'need help' (thanks to fuckn hollywood! for overgeneralising and negating people with depression) its Not like that, just find the right people who can put you on a good road to recover from the blues, believe me you'd never regret getting out there for some assistence. It makes life that much more normal.
but also Do consider, making new freinds, even with Hoh's as they UNDERSTAND the weirdness of 'clubbing with hearies', or change strategy like ,go clubbing with just 1 or 2, and choose that 'lighter lit places so you can lip-rread them that sort of strategy, maybe a bar is better than nightclubs ( i dont know whats your places/people are like) but thats what others in AD here been saying about changning a bit here and there...
i ran out what to say now, dogs barking outside!...
so good luck and the last thing id say is you just need to be prepared to work for it, the rewards wont come as 'results of talking' its the doing too, it takes time, often longer than you'd wish.
Efforts reaps rewards.

Lukin said:

Wow, now I have even lesser respect for the pseudo-scientific workers...

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me too...hmmm
its like blaming deafness, when really we should blame peope's ignorance