Farting in bed is bad for you!

Megladon · 03-05-2004, 05:39 PM

DON'T FART IN BED

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me
know and I' ll pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of
farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he
would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and
he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the
spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.. She took the
bowl and went up upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!

After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said,
"Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I
didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my
guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some
Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

03-05-2004, 05:52 PM

Angel · 03-05-2004, 07:20 PM

That's was the BESTEST Laugh I ever had for years!.....SUPER One!!!

WhoCare · 03-05-2004, 07:47 PM

***VamPyroX*** · 03-05-2004, 08:15 PM

I like this one! Hehehe!

tekkmortal · 03-05-2004, 09:21 PM

The husband is an

The wife is

TweetyBird · 03-05-2004, 11:40 PM

Catmandu · 03-06-2004, 09:34 AM

*laughing so hard* oh dear I gotta breathe....

Cheri · 03-06-2004, 12:34 PM

Anne · 03-08-2004, 07:24 AM

Anne
x

WBHarley · 03-08-2004, 10:09 AM

Ohhhhh I gotta stop laughing so my baby can sleep in peace...

*take a break to breath better* Ohhhhhh Ahh.. oh my god this was soo funnyyyy LOLOLOL

Wendy

Defee · 03-08-2004, 04:23 PM

ROFLMAO!! This is soooo phunny! ewww can u imagine that?

RedheadGrrl · 03-12-2004, 09:00 PM

OH MY GOD!!! That was soo funny.. I almost peed in my pant.

Megalofyia · 03-12-2004, 09:45 PM

That was absolutely hillarious!!!

CatoCooper13 · 03-12-2004, 10:19 PM

Hilarious as always!

Saw it ages ago, but it didn't fail to make me laugh again today!

03-05-2004, 05:39 PM	#1 (permalink)
Megladon Registered User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Minnesota Posts: 344	Farting in bed is bad for you! DON'T FART IN BED If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I' ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.. She took the bowl and went up upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in.

03-05-2004, 08:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
*VamPyroX* bloody phreak from hell Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 26,572	I like this one! Hehehe! __________________ Check out my city... CLICK HERE! (If you already visited yesterday, visit again today!)

03-06-2004, 12:34 PM	#9 (permalink)
Cheri Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: All I wanted was a white knight with a good heart, soft touch, fast horse, ride me off into the sunset Posts: 20,231	__________________

03-08-2004, 04:23 PM	#12 (permalink)
Defee Premium Member Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 3,378	ROFLMAO!! This is soooo phunny! ewww can u imagine that? __________________ Im not deaf, im just ignoring you!

03-12-2004, 10:19 PM	#15 (permalink)
CatoCooper13 Am attached and in LOVE! Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Sonoma County, California Posts: 6,419	Hilarious as always! Saw it ages ago, but it didn't fail to make me laugh again today! __________________ Til I hold my bub in my arms.

Today
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03-05-2004, 05:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Deaf258 Guest Posts: n/a

03-05-2004, 07:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
Angel Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 18,695	That's was the BESTEST Laugh I ever had for years!.....SUPER One!!!

03-05-2004, 07:47 PM	#4 (permalink)
WhoCare I'm stupid!! Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: WhoCare, ON, Canada Posts: 401

03-05-2004, 09:21 PM	#6 (permalink)
tekkmortal Smashin' Pumpkins! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,537	The husband is an The wife is

03-05-2004, 11:40 PM	#7 (permalink)
TweetyBird LOOK AT ILY MAGNETS! Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 21,237

03-06-2004, 09:34 AM	#8 (permalink)
Catmandu aka KaTziE Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Massachusetts, USA Posts: 4,461	laughing so hard oh dear I gotta breathe....

03-08-2004, 07:24 AM	#10 (permalink)
Anne Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: London, UK Posts: 92	Anne x

03-08-2004, 10:09 AM	#11 (permalink)
WBHarley Multitaskin' Wanderin'Mom Join Date: May 2003 Location: Somewhere Posts: 1,375	Ohhhhh I gotta stop laughing so my baby can sleep in peace... take a break to breath better Ohhhhhh Ahh.. oh my god this was soo funnyyyy LOLOLOL Wendy

03-12-2004, 09:00 PM	#13 (permalink)
RedheadGrrl Premium Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 4,799	OH MY GOD!!! That was soo funny.. I almost peed in my pant.

03-12-2004, 09:45 PM	#14 (permalink)
Megalofyia Registered User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 52	That was absolutely hillarious!!!

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