Mature Lady

shel90 · 04-01-2009, 09:57 PM

A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would g
ive it to you but I don't have one.

Traffic Cop: Don't have one?

Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please..

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Traffic Cop: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Traffic Cop: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Traffic Cop: You what!?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see

The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The traffic cop is quite stunned.

Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clu
tch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

Don't Mess With Mature Ladies

Bottesini · 04-01-2009, 10:01 PM

Pepsi · 04-01-2009, 10:37 PM

That's funny

sequoias · 04-01-2009, 10:45 PM

Nice prank that older lady did with the cops.

JamieLynn · 04-02-2009, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sequoias

Nice prank that older lady did with the cops.

Yep... smart lady

Jamie

Adamsmomma · 04-02-2009, 08:56 AM

I love this one... reminds me of my aunt... she'd be the one to do it!!

radioman · 04-02-2009, 01:56 PM

HMMM now this have given me some ideas.

~*Kaelei*~ · 04-04-2009, 01:07 AM

lol good one.... perhaps I could try that, lol that is If I ever get pulled over

rockin'robin · 04-05-2009, 11:10 AM

HAHA! ...Something that I might just try!!!

***Jolie77*** · 04-05-2009, 02:25 PM

I've seen that joke before but it never fails to cease me from cracking up!

Babyblue · 04-05-2009, 02:57 PM

Too funny!

Frisky Feline · 04-05-2009, 03:27 PM

that is too true. hehe

typeingtornado19 · 04-06-2009, 03:35 PM

hahahahaha

AlleyCat · 04-07-2009, 01:55 PM

Something to keep in mind if I get pulled over. But I haven't been pulled over in at least 10 years!

04-01-2009, 09:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
shel90 In a pink and black world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In the land of the free Posts: 24,059 Blog Entries: 3	Mature Lady A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would g ive it to you but I don't have one. Traffic Cop: Don't have one? Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving. Traffic Cop: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.. Older Woman: I can't do that. Traffic Cop: Why not? Older Woman: I stole this car. Traffic Cop: Stole it? Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. Traffic Cop: You what!? Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle. Older woman: Is there a problem sir? Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner. Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?! Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk. Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am? Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The traffic cop is quite stunned. Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clu tch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the license quizzically. Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner! Older Woman: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too. Don't Mess With Mature Ladies __________________ Shel~ "A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

04-01-2009, 10:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bottesini Bodhar agus leath dall Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Middle of dog pack Posts: 16,109	__________________ It's a joke Nathan!

04-01-2009, 10:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
Pepsi Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,185	That's funny __________________

04-02-2009, 08:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
Adamsmomma Lovin' life as A's Mommy! Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Kentucky Posts: 471	I love this one... reminds me of my aunt... she'd be the one to do it!! __________________ Proud Momma to a Deaf toddler!!! He's Mommy's A-Monkey can climb anywhere!!! Hey I know the signs for STOP and NO!!! Now, if he'd just learn what they mean!!! LOL

04-04-2009, 01:07 AM	#8 (permalink)
~Kaelei~ Wishing Upon A Star Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Vancouver, Washington Posts: 1,354	lol good one.... perhaps I could try that, lol that is If I ever get pulled over __________________

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04-01-2009, 10:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
sequoias Premium Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: A little trip to the extraordinary. Posts: 16,296	Nice prank that older lady did with the cops.

04-02-2009, 01:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
radioman Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 793	HMMM now this have given me some ideas.

04-05-2009, 11:10 AM	#9 (permalink)
rockin'robin Registered User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Jacksonville, Florida Posts: 2,787	HAHA! ...Something that I might just try!!!

04-05-2009, 02:25 PM	#10 (permalink)
*Jolie77* Love all, trust a few. Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kentucky, USA (The Bluegrass State) Posts: 8,017 Blog Entries: 1	I've seen that joke before but it never fails to cease me from cracking up! __________________ “Tough girls come from New York. Sweet girls, they're from Georgia. But us Kentucky girls, we have fire and ice in our blood. We can ride horses, be a debutante, throw left hooks, and drink with the boys, all the while making sweet tea, darlin'. And if we have an opinion, you know you're gonna hear it.” - Ashley Judd

04-05-2009, 02:57 PM	#11 (permalink)
Babyblue Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 7,539	Too funny!

04-05-2009, 03:27 PM	#12 (permalink)
Frisky Feline Provoke, Pounce, Purr Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 5,712	that is too true. hehe

04-06-2009, 03:35 PM	#13 (permalink)
typeingtornado19 Have a good day! Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 3,142 Blog Entries: 1	hahahahaha

04-07-2009, 01:55 PM	#14 (permalink)
AlleyCat Chicken in a Cat Suit Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2,736	Something to keep in mind if I get pulled over. But I haven't been pulled over in at least 10 years!

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