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08-27-2008, 06:46 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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...And your point is?
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Spartanburg, SC
Posts: 1,040
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A Dog Named Sex
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Roy." I call mine "Sex." He's a great pal but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to the city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too." Then I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid." When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for sex. He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny--I have the same problem." One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place it's no big deal anymore." When my wife and I seperated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me, too." Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking around town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex. |
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08-31-2008, 12:58 AM
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#6 (permalink) |
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Love all, trust a few.
 
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Haha! It's a oldie but still a goodie!
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 “Tough girls come from New York. Sweet girls, they're from Georgia. But us Kentucky girls, we have fire and ice in our blood. We can ride horses, be a debutante, throw left hooks, and drink with the boys, all the while making sweet tea, darlin'. And if we have an opinion, you know you're gonna hear it.” - Ashley Judd |
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08-31-2008, 06:16 AM
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#7 (permalink) |
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Burn fat off your soul
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Island in the South
Posts: 3,224
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LOL yeah, Ive read it before, its sure a brilliant gem.
__________________
Some people will tell you that slow is good - and it may be, on some days - but I am here to tell you that fast is better. I've always believed this, in spite of the trouble it's caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles. Hunter S Thompson 
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08-31-2008, 06:25 AM
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#8 (permalink) |
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Burn fat off your soul
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Island in the South
Posts: 3,224
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not to mention the two above posters, 'at war' - pepsi and coke LMAO
__________________
Some people will tell you that slow is good - and it may be, on some days - but I am here to tell you that fast is better. I've always believed this, in spite of the trouble it's caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles. Hunter S Thompson
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