PePe LePew

I love this one, I laughed so hard, y'all gonna love this.

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding


Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driver.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don't Mess With Mature Ladies!!!!!!

Deafness

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Liebling:-)))

really good one... I like those jokes... I just forward those jokes to my co-workers...

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*sniffing you*

sequoias

Geez, the police got owned!

jiro123

usually - the whole incident is recorded by camera and microphone. if it is recorded, then it's the granny who got owned.... if not, then we know who got owned. lol

Matilda

... good on ladies like her! There's wisdom in maturity!

Pepsi

That was a good one.

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Bottesini

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jenni-m

Heh.
If I were a cop, I would have arrested her possibly at line 4 (driving on suspended for DUI for four years? Come on.)

Certainly would have arrested her the moment she 'confessed to murder'. Forget about backup, I'd have a gun -in her face-.

And after it was discovered that none of this was true, she would be brought up on charges of obstruction and giving false information, and if she wanted to push the issue, she can take a polygraph.

Don't mess with police!

(I am joking, by the way.)

~SG~

That is a good one.

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