Girlie Wisdom

Sweetpolly · 05-16-2008, 10:10 AM

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.

Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

DVDFreaker · 05-16-2008, 10:14 AM

A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

This is the only funny part

Sweetpolly · 05-16-2008, 10:19 AM

DVDFreaker your a man right ? and u could of gotten her pregnant is that why u only understood that one or think that one is funny ??

DVDFreaker · 05-16-2008, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sweetpolly

DVDFreaker your a man right ? and u could of gotten her pregnant is that why u only understood that one or think that one is funny ??

Yup, I'm a man

Bottesini · 05-16-2008, 10:24 AM

I thought it all funny but am afraid you described me! (only two kids though)

Sweetpolly · 05-16-2008, 10:26 AM

Ok,,, well I am just messing with you anyways....wow, I thought for a minute there that my joke posts suck, but then I thought,,well everyone has their own sense of humor and as long as it is not offending anyone why not post it. You almost made me cry there for a second.

05-16-2008, 10:10 AM	#1 (permalink)
Sweetpolly Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 109	Girlie Wisdom Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes! Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat! The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!

05-16-2008, 10:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
Bottesini Defy Dragons! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Right behind you! Posts: 2,110	I thought it all funny but am afraid you described me! (only two kids though) __________________ I love AllDeaf all in my heart!

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05-16-2008, 10:14 AM	#2 (permalink)
DVDFreaker Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: In The Middle Of Nowhere Posts: 1,728	A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care. This is the only funny part

05-16-2008, 10:19 AM	#3 (permalink)
Sweetpolly Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 109	DVDFreaker your a man right ? and u could of gotten her pregnant is that why u only understood that one or think that one is funny ??

05-16-2008, 10:26 AM	#6 (permalink)
Sweetpolly Registered User Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 109	Ok,,, well I am just messing with you anyways....wow, I thought for a minute there that my joke posts suck, but then I thought,,well everyone has their own sense of humor and as long as it is not offending anyone why not post it. You almost made me cry there for a second.