A Dog Named Sex

DeAfLuCkYiRiSh · 10-25-2006, 06:37 AM

Everybody I know usually calls their dog Rover or Spot. I called mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me.

When I went to City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk I'd like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!"

Then I said, "She is a dog!!"

He said he didnt care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand, I had Sex since I was 9 years old."

He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the weddimg. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life, and my life revolves around Sex."

He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everybody would like having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand! Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, Sex ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around, and I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.

"You don't understand," I said. "I hoped to have Sex on TV!"

He called me a 'show off'!

When my wife and I split, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married, but Sex left me after I was married."

The judge said, "Me too!!"

Last night, Sex ran off again, and I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said "I'm looking for Sex."

My case comes up next Thursday.

Well, now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced, and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why, just the other day when I went for my first session with my shrink, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"

I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all of my life, but now it has left me forever, I couldn't live any longer, so lonely!"

And the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand sex isn't a man's best friend, so get your self a dog."

Miss-Delectable · 10-25-2006, 09:16 AM

I have read that joke before, but it still makes me

**Cheri** · 10-25-2006, 11:04 AM

LMAO! that was one good one! I wouldn't even named a dog "sex",

Hey sex sex.. come here...sit sex.. jump sex, come sit by me sex. Lol!

Lil_country_gal · 10-25-2006, 12:34 PM

I've also heard that one so many times but it's still funny

Freaky Cat · 10-25-2006, 02:02 PM

I have heard of this joke.. but still so damn funny!

hahahhaha

armymech81 · 10-25-2006, 02:41 PM

Still makes me laugh. I knew someone named their dog Damn-it, but I would never have thought of naming a dog Sex, now I want to get a dog and name it sex

**RedheadGrrl** · 10-25-2006, 03:10 PM

I read that many times. I couldnt name them SEX or anything like that. LOL

**Koala** · 10-26-2006, 03:00 AM

Seen it before. Its a good one tho.

***~SG~*** · 10-27-2006, 05:33 AM

Good to see that joke again.

Ange. · 11-01-2006, 01:59 PM

That is hilarious,best joke Ive read in awhile,lol.

Hear Again · 11-01-2006, 02:35 PM

"A Dog Named Sex" was read aloud to our class during training to receive a guide dog 8 years ago and even after all this time, it *still* makes me laugh. LOL! I've been looking all over for this story and am glad you posted it here.

Hear Again

Left ear - Nucleus 24 Contour Advance with 3G
Implanted: 12/22/04 Activated: 1/18/05

Right ear - Nucleus Freedom
Implanted: 2/1/06 Activated: 3/1/06

**Jolie77** · 11-01-2006, 06:26 PM

It's always good to see a old joke now and then. This joke is one of the best joke I've had in a long time. It still cracks me up.

racheleggert · 11-03-2006, 02:44 PM

I am laughing my ass off in my office.. Its so hilarious!

Woofy · 11-04-2006, 03:42 AM

I would love to adopt a dog that failed a hearing dog program and name it Rejected.

armymech81 · 11-04-2006, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Woofy

I would love to adopt a dog that failed a hearing dog program and name it Rejected.

Better yet, Call the dog Helper

zookeeper4321 · 11-04-2006, 11:11 AM

Love this one!

10-25-2006, 06:37 AM	#1 (permalink)
DeAfLuCkYiRiSh Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Location: Colorado Posts: 835	A Dog Named Sex Everybody I know usually calls their dog Rover or Spot. I called mine Sex. Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk I'd like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "She is a dog!!" He said he didnt care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand, I had Sex since I was 9 years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the weddimg. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life, and my life revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everybody would like having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand! Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, Sex ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around, and I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said. "I hoped to have Sex on TV!" He called me a 'show off'! When my wife and I split, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married, but Sex left me after I was married." The judge said, "Me too!!" Last night, Sex ran off again, and I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said "I'm looking for Sex." My case comes up next Thursday. Well, now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced, and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why, just the other day when I went for my first session with my shrink, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all of my life, but now it has left me forever, I couldn't live any longer, so lonely!" And the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand sex isn't a man's best friend, so get your self a dog."

10-25-2006, 09:16 AM	#2 (permalink)
Miss-Delectable V.I.P. Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 17,174 Blog Entries: 3	I have read that joke before, but it still makes me __________________ "Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." - Helen Keller

10-25-2006, 11:04 AM	#3 (permalink)
Cheri Prayers for my dad. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 22,819	LMAO! that was one good one! I wouldn't even named a dog "sex", Hey sex sex.. come here...sit sex.. jump sex, come sit by me sex. Lol! __________________ Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.

10-25-2006, 12:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
Lil_country_gal Registered User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Saint Joseph, MN Posts: 2,340	I've also heard that one so many times but it's still funny __________________ Put some excitement between your legs.... Ride a Horse Laicy Always and Forever

10-25-2006, 02:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
Freaky Cat Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Central ArKaNsAs Posts: 10,221	I have heard of this joke.. but still so damn funny! hahahhaha __________________ When you miss me just look up to the night sky and remember, I'm like a star; sometimes you can't see me, but I'm always there! Freaky Cat's Blog

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10-25-2006, 02:41 PM	#6 (permalink)
armymech81 Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Stationed in Grafenwoehr, Germany Posts: 413	Still makes me laugh. I knew someone named their dog Damn-it, but I would never have thought of naming a dog Sex, now I want to get a dog and name it sex __________________ "Your lips tell me no no, but there is please please in your eyes"- Hawkeye "Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice"- Sidney Freedman "Sex happens to be one of the most important things in life in as much as each one of us is one or the other gender of it once we're born, which is the direct result of the act of it."- Henry Blake

10-25-2006, 03:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
RedheadGrrl Premium Member Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 4,827	I read that many times. I couldnt name them SEX or anything like that. LOL

10-26-2006, 03:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
Koala Cuddly bear Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Australia Posts: 4,749	Seen it before. Its a good one tho. __________________

10-27-2006, 05:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
*~SG~* Super Moderator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Western Australia Posts: 6,851	Good to see that joke again. __________________

11-01-2006, 01:59 PM	#10 (permalink)
Ange. Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Hamilton,New Zealand Posts: 31	That is hilarious,best joke Ive read in awhile,lol.

11-01-2006, 02:35 PM	#11 (permalink)
Hear Again Registered User Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 20,122 Blog Entries: 6	"A Dog Named Sex" was read aloud to our class during training to receive a guide dog 8 years ago and even after all this time, it still makes me laugh. LOL! I've been looking all over for this story and am glad you posted it here. Hear Again Left ear - Nucleus 24 Contour Advance with 3G Implanted: 12/22/04 Activated: 1/18/05 Right ear - Nucleus Freedom Implanted: 2/1/06 Activated: 3/1/06

11-01-2006, 06:26 PM	#12 (permalink)
Jolie77 Premium Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Kentucky, USA (The Bluegrass State) Posts: 8,514 Blog Entries: 1	It's always good to see a old joke now and then. This joke is one of the best joke I've had in a long time. It still cracks me up. __________________ Isaiah 33:6 - "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure."

11-03-2006, 02:44 PM	#13 (permalink)
racheleggert Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Twin Cities, MN Posts: 2,306	I am laughing my ass off in my office.. Its so hilarious! __________________

11-04-2006, 03:42 AM	#14 (permalink)
Woofy Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: California Posts: 316	I would love to adopt a dog that failed a hearing dog program and name it Rejected. __________________ [/SIGPIC] Woofy

11-04-2006, 11:11 AM	#16 (permalink)
zookeeper4321 Registered User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: the planet gorgo Posts: 445	Love this one! __________________ What happens if you're scared half to death twice?

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