rockin'robin

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison? A completely brillant question!!!!!!!

Wouldn't you know it....
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Another completely brilliant question!!!!

Deafness

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MintyOreo

Good question. I'd like to know the answer for THAT one, too...

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A FEW of my favorite quotes:

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss

“The past does not have to be your prison. You have a voice in your destiny. You have a say in your life. You have a choice in the path you take.” ~ Max Lucado

“Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.” ~ Fred Rogers

“Even though you may not understand how God works, you know he does.” ~ Max Lucado

rolling7

You do not have to. Instead you can take an oath that you will tell the truth, nothing but the truth, and all of the truth under the penalty of perjury if you don't.

MintyOreo

Hmm. I didn't know that. Interesting.

__________________
A FEW of my favorite quotes:

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” ~ Dr. Seuss

“The past does not have to be your prison. You have a voice in your destiny. You have a say in your life. You have a choice in the path you take.” ~ Max Lucado

“Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.” ~ Fred Rogers

“Even though you may not understand how God works, you know he does.” ~ Max Lucado