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Angelus 08-27-2009 10:15 PM

Really struggling with feeling useless
 
Hello to anyone reading and thanks for listening. I am really struggling with feeling like all the education and time I put into making something of myself is evaportaing as my hearing is totally deteriorating. I am a teacher ( of the smallest kind of people) by trade - babies - 4 year olds. Been at this for 9 years, and managed to get my Montessori credential and a BA while I was at it! But both fields require me to be hearing! For example - the need to communicate reguarly with parents, staff and children! The need to be able to hear them to keep them safe! The BA is specifically for counseling. Can you imagine coming into my office to tell me you are thinking of doing yourself harm and instead of doing what NEEDS to be done to keep that from happening....(ie code 5150) I ask you to REPEAT yourself!?

I swear if I could find just something to do at home...typing all day, proofreading, editing - I dont care - I would take it.

Thanks again for the moment to vent

Ang~

Jiro 08-27-2009 10:16 PM

have you tried hearing aids?

Bottesini 08-27-2009 10:18 PM

Or becoming a counselor at a deaf school?

They do have deaf pre-schools too.

Maybe even Montessori.

Jiro 08-27-2009 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini (Post 1400185)
Or becoming a counselor at a deaf school?

They do have deaf pre-schools too.

Maybe even Montessori.

I don't think OP knows ASL

laughforlauren 08-27-2009 10:20 PM

i'm not really gonna reply to your post up there.. but i get the feeling of being useless and worthless just because i'm not 'normal'.. just because i am deaf, doesn't mean i'm not normal. i'm in highschool now and it's so hard to go through everything because people judge you on first impressions and everything. it gets hard sometimes, but you know, i also like being deaf because it makes me different from everyone else and some people actually think it's cool.. so yeah, just wanted to get that off my chest ahah. if your hearing is detoriating, just be happy that you got the hearing in the first place instead of never being able to hear completely from birth.

Bottesini 08-27-2009 10:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jiro (Post 1400186)
I don't think OP knows ASL

Oh, sorry about that. :(

Jiro 08-27-2009 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bottesini (Post 1400188)
Oh, sorry about that. :(

I had same thought but right before I clicked on Submit Reply button.... I was thinking - "wait a min........"

Angelus 08-27-2009 10:34 PM

Thanks to everyone - I sure apprecite your thoughts. I do have on hearing aid for my right ear but it's gotten to the point that it really isn't doing any good anymore. The idea of a Montessori classroom for HH kids is a great thing; I have yet to come across it in my area. (Or any area yet) - I have not yet taken up ASL - and I know I need to. And yea Lauren your point is a good one. It does make me different. I haven't yet come around to being ok with that - still basically running away from hearing people in the marketplace with very little tolerance, understanding or knowledge of dealing with HH or deaf. This very thing is whuy I opened my own - and work from home. I will not say my attitude has been good - it hasn't - but I am a work in progress. I come to alldeaf to communicate with people like you who have an awesome attitude about it - hoping it eventually rubs off on me. :)

Jiro 08-27-2009 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laughforlauren (Post 1400187)
i'm not really gonna reply to your post up there.. but i get the feeling of being useless and worthless just because i'm not 'normal'.. just because i am deaf, doesn't mean i'm not normal. i'm in highschool now and it's so hard to go through everything because people judge you on first impressions and everything. it gets hard sometimes, but you know, i also like being deaf because it makes me different from everyone else and some people actually think it's cool.. so yeah, just wanted to get that off my chest ahah. if your hearing is detoriating, just be happy that you got the hearing in the first place instead of never being able to hear completely from birth.

welcome lauren :wave:

The issue is that Ang is losing her hearing... which is a life-changing situation for her. It affects her career and life. But this deafness does not affect you or me as much as Ang because we were born with it and we're already accustomed to it. Ang will need to retrain herself to adjust to "deaf lifestyle" in case that hearing aids does not work for her. Losing a hearing is very distressing for hearing adults as their life depends on it and now she has to depend on her 4 other senses especially visual to make up for hearing loss.

Ang - even though you are a counselor, I would suggest you to seek a counselor and a local deaf community for yourself to cope with deafness because I can understand it may lead to depression, anger, frustration, and self-denial for a while. hang in there. :grouphug:

cdaigle430 09-03-2009 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelus (Post 1400196)
Thanks to everyone - I sure apprecite your thoughts. I do have on hearing aid for my right ear but it's gotten to the point that it really isn't doing any good anymore. The idea of a Montessori classroom for HH kids is a great thing; I have yet to come across it in my area. (Or any area yet) - I have not yet taken up ASL - and I know I need to. And yea Lauren your point is a good one. It does make me different. I haven't yet come around to being ok with that - still basically running away from hearing people in the marketplace with very little tolerance, understanding or knowledge of dealing with HH or deaf. This very thing is whuy I opened my own - and work from home. I will not say my attitude has been good - it hasn't - but I am a work in progress. I come to alldeaf to communicate with people like you who have an awesome attitude about it - hoping it eventually rubs off on me. :)


I'm in the same boat, it's very tough going through this becaue in reality you and I haven't change but because of the loss of hearing we are going to have to change. I don't know about your friends, coworkers and relatives but even though they say they will be more understanding, you almost always get the feeling that your being avoided more and more.

It's very tough transitioning to a new lifestyle but it is necessary to surround yourself with people who do and will understand the new you. Going deaf later in life vs having been deaf all your life is very different. When your deaf your whole life it is who you are, nothing gained and nothing missed so hearing is really a useless thing-thats where I envy them. For me the worst thing about losing my hearing is losing the ability to communicate with community I knew all my life.

People like us have always relied on hearing to communicate so we have to start from scratch which takes relearning and lifestyle changes. Something thats not easy to do but it can be done and has been done over and over again. Progressive hearing loss will luckily give us time to adapt.

I am very greatfull for the deaf because thanks them there are many things that can help us transition into their world if need be like ASL, CI, HA, lip reading, hearing dogs, technology and so on. Also thanks to them we have many laws and regulations on our side now.

So the best advice I can give is to remember that you haven't changed personality wise but people will treat you differently because of the hearing loss. Job wise is the same exact thing but you can do it, just need to find the right career and the right company. Luckily-I think I have.

Reba 09-03-2009 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelus (Post 1400196)
...The idea of a Montessori classroom for HH kids is a great thing; I have yet to come across it in my area. ...

Ah, you may be just the one they've been waiting for to start one.

Short term goal is to get the counseling and mentoring you need to make this huge life adjustment. Don't be embarrassed to take full advantage of VR counseling and training, state programs that offer free communication equipment, ADA accommodations, and anything that will help you thru this transition. Yes, take the ASL classes and associate with your local deaf community.

Long term goal may be that you can continue as a teacher with some accommodations. Or you might see this change as an opportunity for entrepreneurship or taking up a new rewarding profession.

Hang in there. :hug:

Babyblue 09-03-2009 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reba (Post 1405217)
Ah, you may be just the one they've been waiting for to start one.

Short term goal is to get the counseling and mentoring you need to make this huge life adjustment. Don't be embarrassed to take full advantage of VR counseling and training, state programs that offer free communication equipment, ADA accommodations, and anything that will help you thru this transition. Yes, take the ASL classes and associate with your local deaf community.

Long term goal may be that you can continue as a teacher with some accommodations. Or you might see this change as an opportunity for entrepreneurship or taking up a new rewarding profession.

Hang in there. :hug:

I agree. With adjustments and help. You will be able to pursue your career.

sallylou 09-03-2009 05:25 PM

Angelus, I understand how you feel. I got HAs 3 years ago. I'm trying to find a new job and it's tough. I don't want to work for an assh*le that doesn't want to deal with my hearing issues. I quit a job with a psycho boss last year. Life's too short to deal with that kind of stress.

I'm home with my kids right now. I feel pretty useless sometimes, although my family would disagree. I've trained for my profession a long time (9 years to be exact). I don't know how I'm going to resolve this, but I'm confident that it will all work out.

I hope that you find the path that is right for you. You might want to talk to the agency in your state that helps deaf people. They might be able to help out. You might want to consider deaf education. That would require further education but it would be worth it if it's a good fit for you.

I know that it's hard. :hug:

rockdrummer 11-29-2009 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelus (Post 1400196)
Thanks to everyone - I sure apprecite your thoughts. I do have on hearing aid for my right ear but it's gotten to the point that it really isn't doing any good anymore. The idea of a Montessori classroom for HH kids is a great thing; I have yet to come across it in my area. (Or any area yet) - I have not yet taken up ASL - and I know I need to. And yea Lauren your point is a good one. It does make me different. I haven't yet come around to being ok with that - still basically running away from hearing people in the marketplace with very little tolerance, understanding or knowledge of dealing with HH or deaf. This very thing is whuy I opened my own - and work from home. I will not say my attitude has been good - it hasn't - but I am a work in progress. I come to alldeaf to communicate with people like you who have an awesome attitude about it - hoping it eventually rubs off on me. :)

Have you ever considered a cochlear implant? There are also some emerging technologies that may offer other alternatives.

shel90 11-29-2009 09:50 AM

I am a deaf person who is a full time teacher at a deaf school. That is something you can look into or teach oral deaf kids? Oral deaf kids often grow up without meeting a deaf adult so that could be your calling.

whatdidyousay! 11-29-2009 08:02 PM

Blossom Montessori School for the Deaf

From the newsroom of The Tampa Tribune, Tampa Florida, Sunday, September 4, 2005 .....

School For The Deaf Sees Rapid Growth

By ADAM EMERSON

LARGO - For two years, Julie Rutenburg maintained her "dream come true" within a complex of office centers in Clearwater.

She had opened the Blossom Montessori School for the Deaf in summer 2003.

Eight children enrolled.

The concept of such a school had never been tried before, Rutenburg said: The parents "just had trust."

Today, the school's enrollment has grown to 25 children -- ranging from the deaf to the hearing impaired. The school has moved from the building it had shared with another Montessori school to a temporary site in Largo, where Rutenburg and her staff of eight await renovations to Blossom's first dedicated school building.

Rutenburg said her school is only the second one in Florida to serve exclusively deaf and hearing-impaired children. The other is the Florida School for the Deaf and Blind, a public boarding school in St. Augustine.

She says she knows of no other school in the nation that uses the Montessori method to teach deaf children.

Montessori stresses hands-on learning through all five senses and allows children to learn at their own pace by choosing activities in which they want to participate. Lessons are done on the floor.

Rutenburg said the curriculum at Blossom is tailored to each child. Teachers and pupils communicate through American Sign Language. Instead of grade levels, children are grouped by age: 3- to 6-year-olds; 6- to 9-year-olds; 9- to 12-year-olds; and 12- to 15-year-olds.

That model is ideal for deaf children, Rutenburg said. However, she and her staff concede they have no other model to work from.

"There's a lot of learning as we go," said Kristi Kauffman, the school's associate director.

Rutenburg got the idea for the school after she worked with deaf children as an intern in the Pinellas County school district.

The school system was too large for those children, she said, and teachers were too focused on testing.

"They just had their hands full," Rutenburg said. "Kids were falling through the cracks."

Rutenburg's first classrooms opened in the Annsworth Montessori School at 5990 142nd Ave. N. in Clearwater. With enrollment increasing steadily, the school starting enrolling preschool-age children this year."We were bursting at the seams," she said.

In August, classes opened in a suite of offices at 12505 Starkey Road in Largo. The staff is renovating a building adjacent to Annsworth, and students should be moving there in January, Rutenburg said.

Tuition is $700 a month, or $7,000 a year. The school participates in the McKay Scholarships for Students with Disabilities Program. If parents have trouble meeting the cost, "we will work with them," Rutenburg said.

The school's oldest enrolled student is still a couple of years away from entering high school, Rutenburg said.

Because Blossom is a private school, students do not have to take the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test. However, middle-school age students may soon begin taking the FCAT to better prepare them for high school, she said.

"There comes a time when they have to leave us and go into the hearing world," she said.

SCHOOL NUMBERS
Enrollment through the years:
2003 8
2004 14
2005 25

I found this web site , I do not know what state you live in but I would look in to this.I know it very hard to lose your hearing and that HA does not work for everyone. Have you thought of learning to read lips ,? You have a lot to offer to deaf and HOH children , you are good role model for them.

LDNanna 11-29-2009 09:26 PM

All those replies are awesome. Jiro, Reba and Sallylou have some especially good thoughts.

I assume you have also gone to our late deaf forum?

It takes time and patience. Give yourself time to adjust. You can learn to cope with your deafness, and as the others stated, if you live in an area where there is a deaf community, by all means - go! Become involved, and please, remember that you have not lost anything, but gained opportunity to learn and grow even more. Sign language, pse, see, or my favorite, asl is not only fun and a beautiful language but helps get your mind off other issues. It may help you to meet new people, think differently and expand your world.

Good luck. It does get much, much better. :hug:

DataEntry4you 10-05-2010 01:38 PM

Hi everyone... I'm new here and found your website so welcoming. I'm not deaf, but my assistant who heads up our Data Entry Program (DEP) is and she is the hardest worker I have ever met. We are a court research company doing field work and always have need for data entry people. You won't be an employee, but an independent contractor and your wages will be reported at year's end via a 1099-Misc. (no taxes taken out).

If you have data entry or typing skills of at least 40 wpm and believe yourself to be dedicated and reliable with the ability to work independently toward meeting deadlines, I would be interested in interviewing you. This is a strictly work at home job. There is no membership to join or software to buy or even a book. We just want to find citizens of the U.S. who want to work. We are a small family-owned business who prefers to offer work to Americans instead of outsourcing it like many of our fellow business associates. You won't get rich doing data entry work, but it is stable income. If you type about 60 wpm, your average hourly rate will be $10 an hour. Your pay is reflective of your typing speed.

Please, serious inquiries only. For more information, just let me know.

Jennifer

Oddball 10-06-2010 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DataEntry4you (Post 1678184)
Hi everyone... I'm new here and found your website so welcoming. I'm not deaf, but my assistant who heads up our Data Entry Program (DEP) is and she is the hardest worker I have ever met. We are a court research company doing field work and always have need for data entry people. You won't be an employee, but an independent contractor and your wages will be reported at year's end via a 1099-Misc. (no taxes taken out).

If you have data entry or typing skills of at least 40 wpm and believe yourself to be dedicated and reliable with the ability to work independently toward meeting deadlines, I would be interested in interviewing you. This is a strictly work at home job. There is no membership to join or software to buy or even a book. We just want to find citizens of the U.S. who want to work. We are a small family-owned business who prefers to offer work to Americans instead of outsourcing it like many of our fellow business associates. You won't get rich doing data entry work, but it is stable income. If you type about 60 wpm, your average hourly rate will be $10 an hour. Your pay is reflective of your typing speed.

Please, serious inquiries only. For more information, just let me know.

Jennifer


Hi, Jennifer

How can I contact you? Your email?

Thanks.

TWA 10-08-2010 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DataEntry4you (Post 1678184)
Hi everyone... I'm new here and found your website so welcoming. I'm not deaf, but my assistant who heads up our Data Entry Program (DEP) is and she is the hardest worker I have ever met. We are a court research company doing field work and always have need for data entry people. You won't be an employee, but an independent contractor and your wages will be reported at year's end via a 1099-Misc. (no taxes taken out).

If you have data entry or typing skills of at least 40 wpm and believe yourself to be dedicated and reliable with the ability to work independently toward meeting deadlines, I would be interested in interviewing you. This is a strictly work at home job. There is no membership to join or software to buy or even a book. We just want to find citizens of the U.S. who want to work. We are a small family-owned business who prefers to offer work to Americans instead of outsourcing it like many of our fellow business associates. You won't get rich doing data entry work, but it is stable income. If you type about 60 wpm, your average hourly rate will be $10 an hour. Your pay is reflective of your typing speed.

Please, serious inquiries only. For more information, just let me know.

Jennifer

Not interested, but just want to say, GOOD ON YOU! For wanting to hire deaf/hoh and for keeping jobs in America.

I applaud you.

Bottesini 10-08-2010 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DataEntry4you (Post 1678184)
Hi everyone... I'm new here and found your website so welcoming. I'm not deaf, but my assistant who heads up our Data Entry Program (DEP) is and she is the hardest worker I have ever met. We are a court research company doing field work and always have need for data entry people. You won't be an employee, but an independent contractor and your wages will be reported at year's end via a 1099-Misc. (no taxes taken out).

If you have data entry or typing skills of at least 40 wpm and believe yourself to be dedicated and reliable with the ability to work independently toward meeting deadlines, I would be interested in interviewing you. This is a strictly work at home job. There is no membership to join or software to buy or even a book. We just want to find citizens of the U.S. who want to work. We are a small family-owned business who prefers to offer work to Americans instead of outsourcing it like many of our fellow business associates. You won't get rich doing data entry work, but it is stable income. If you type about 60 wpm, your average hourly rate will be $10 an hour. Your pay is reflective of your typing speed.

Please, serious inquiries only. For more information, just let me know.

Jennifer

Fascinating. Unfortunately, there is no way to contact you. :hmm:

shel90 10-08-2010 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheWriteAlex (Post 1680356)
Not interested, but just want to say, GOOD ON YOU! For wanting to hire deaf/hoh and for keeping jobs in America.

I applaud you.

+1


As a former Farmer's Insurance employee, data entry is a good field for deaf people who like that kind of thing. :)

whatdidyousay! 10-08-2010 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laughforlauren (Post 1400187)
i'm not really gonna reply to your post up there.. but i get the feeling of being useless and worthless just because i'm not 'normal'.. just because i am deaf, doesn't mean i'm not normal. i'm in highschool now and it's so hard to go through everything because people judge you on first impressions and everything. it gets hard sometimes, but you know, i also like being deaf because it makes me different from everyone else and some people actually think it's cool.. so yeah, just wanted to get that off my chest ahah. if your hearing is detoriating, just be happy that you got the hearing in the first place instead of never being able to hear completely from birth.

Are you joking! Just be happy you had hearing!! I can't believe anyone would say this to a person! That is like teling a person that lost both legs , just be happy you had legs! My brother in law is losing his hearing and I would NEVER say such an insensitive thing to him!

whatdidyousay! 10-08-2010 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angelus (Post 1400196)
Thanks to everyone - I sure apprecite your thoughts. I do have on hearing aid for my right ear but it's gotten to the point that it really isn't doing any good anymore. The idea of a Montessori classroom for HH kids is a great thing; I have yet to come across it in my area. (Or any area yet) - I have not yet taken up ASL - and I know I need to. And yea Lauren your point is a good one. It does make me different. I haven't yet come around to being ok with that - still basically running away from hearing people in the marketplace with very little tolerance, understanding or knowledge of dealing with HH or deaf. This very thing is whuy I opened my own - and work from home. I will not say my attitude has been good - it hasn't - but I am a work in progress. I come to alldeaf to communicate with people like you who have an awesome attitude about it - hoping it eventually rubs off on me. :)

I still can't understand how people think being deaf or HOH is a great way to be different. I will never get this. I am 64 years old and I still hate being HOH. I would love to be able to hear my granddaughter better, and I never got to hear my daughter whistle when she was a baby! She was whistling when she was a 10 months old and I miss not being able to hear this!

DDU 10-08-2010 07:33 PM

it is a bitch to go deaf later in life. i lost my hearing when i was 11. never even met another deaf til i was 16 and thought i was the only deaf in the world at the time. this was before computers and in the infancy of the TTY even. things are a lot better these days with support and deaf awareness. you will miss a lot of things you used to do. i only missed the hearing on occasions cuz i was too busy just going thru daily life.
you will manage, but also be cursing a lot ! :lol:

whatdidyousay! 10-08-2010 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DDU (Post 1680645)
it is a bitch to go deaf later in life. i lost my hearing when i was 11. never even met another deaf til i was 16 and thought i was the only deaf in the world at the time. this was before computers and in the infancy of the TTY even. things are a lot better these days with support and deaf awareness. you will miss a lot of things you used to do. i only missed the hearing on occasions cuz i was too busy just going thru daily life.
you will manage, but also be cursing a lot ! :lol:

I when to school with a girl that was HOH ,she told me when her tonsils were removed the doctor messed up and cut too close and she became HOH!
I had my tonsil removed too, I sure glad my doctor did not mess up. The doctor told my parents if my tonsils were removed I would talk better and my believed the doctor! WTF!

VamPyroX 10-14-2010 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatdidyousay! (Post 1680696)
I when to school with a girl that was HOH ,she told me when her tonsils were removed the doctor messed up and cut too close and she became HOH!
I had my tonsil removed too, I sure glad my doctor did not mess up. The doctor told my parents if my tonsils were removed I would talk better and my believed the doctor! WTF!

Huh... becoming deaf from having your tonsils removed?

whatdidyousay! 10-14-2010 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VamPyroX (Post 1683863)
Huh... becoming deaf from having your tonsils removed?

Yes , the doctor messed and cut too close and it damage her hearing. If your tonsils have an infection that could made you lose hearing too.

shel90 10-14-2010 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatdidyousay! (Post 1680622)
I still can't understand how people think being deaf or HOH is a great way to be different. I will never get this. I am 64 years old and I still hate being HOH. I would love to be able to hear my granddaughter better, and I never got to hear my daughter whistle when she was a baby! She was whistling when she was a 10 months old and I miss not being able to hear this!

It is more stressful hating myself and my deafness so I embraced it and live my life to the fullest as a deaf person. Life since then has been much much easier.

Smithtr 10-19-2010 08:46 AM

really too much your stress cause you cut off stress because you increase worst because your worst mess, careful your infection avoid!!


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