Always the elephant in the room... - Page 3

dorothybaez · 10-30-2011, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby Nicole

I cannot, for the life of me, hear children's higher pitched voices.

OMG, me either! When my kids were little, I couldn't understand them unless I was looking at them straight on.

BecLak · 11-01-2011, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSign

Was this comment directed at me, because it sure seems that way. I'm not sure why you think I or anyone else is trying to "fix" them, there is nothing to be fixed. I can say the past is the past- in no way am I invalidating her experience. I was trying to offer words of support and encouragement that she is in control now- she holds the key to her destiny. I realize that their history is deep, and it takes time to come to terms with these things.

I have news for you CSign.....it is not all about you....just saying.

Beach girl · 11-01-2011, 09:46 AM

Oh c'mon. "Plausible deniability" will only get you so far. Don't try to gas-light her; CSign is smart enough to know what was intended.

Abby Nicole · 11-01-2011, 11:50 AM

Hope everyone enjoyed their Halloween weekend! DH and I dressed as Double Dare contestants.

Last couple of days, I've thought about this thread, and realized that I've talked so much about my parents/sister because I've been repeating the same ol' draining "suck it up" mentality with my new family - the in-laws. If I haven't figured "it" out with my own family, how on earth can I have a healthy relationship with my new family?

How do you know where to draw the line without coming off as selfish? What's a reasonable balance between appeasing your family and looking out for your own sanity?

An excellent example of an in-law incident involved my MIL throwing a post-wedding reception for us in DH's small hometown. She invited 300 guests, 90% of whom DH didn't know, because (her words) "It's impossible to invite one neighbor and not the rest, one K-12 teacher and not the rest, etc, because it's a small town." DH and I were not included in the party planning, so we didn't have a clue as to how excessive the guestlist was until MIL started reporting RSVP counts. By then, it was too late for DH to intervene on my behalf. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing that yet again, I was going to be a miserable deaf bride, only this time dealing with 300 strangers (instead of 150 friends/family in the know about my deafness at my own wedding).

At the post-wedding party, DH was glued to my side, answering every question for me, as I could not hear a word and just worked on keeping the fake smiling beaming and holding back tears. People pointedly stared at me when I couldn't answer them directly. I didn't feel like explaining, "Excuse me, I'm deaf" 300 times over and over. Hated every minute; I could not feel an ounce of gratitude towards my in-laws for throwing the party - this makes me feel like a selfish ingrate because a normal person would've loved the party and felt honored. But what's the point of throwing an expensive party when the "guest of honor" has to struggle through their worst nightmare?

MIL did know that I cannot participate in large social events, as I had confided in her that I was unable to hear anything during my own wedding. The day after the post-wedding reception, MIL came to me and said, all perky, "Oh, you must've had a hard time hearing at the party, huh?" I looked her square in the face and said, "Yeah, I didn't hear a word." Haven't spoke to her since.

I don't have any coping skills; I either hold it all in or lash out. Nor do I know how to differentiate between an unfair situation versus a run-of-the-mill obligatory event that hearing people just suck it up for.

Jazzberry · 11-01-2011, 12:03 PM

If it happens again, come with pen and paper? If people ask why, make the sign for "deaf'" to spare your voice. I think most hearing people know that sign.

Its probably impossible to control other people's behavior. Just think about what your boundaries are and what YOU will do in any given situation.

So, for example, you probably can't control either of your families love for big parties. But you can always have pen and paper with you. If the noise actually starts to hurt your ears, turn off your hearing aids!

Abby Nicole · 11-01-2011, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazzberry

If it happens again, come with pen and paper? If people ask why, make the sign for "deaf'" to spare your voice. I think most hearing people know that sign.

Its probably impossible to control other people's behavior. Just think about what your boundaries are and what YOU will do in any given situation.

So, for example, you probably can't control either of your families love for big parties. But you can always have pen and paper with you. If the noise actually starts to hurt your ears, turn off your hearing aids!

That's true, Jazzberry - the big parties will not end/not in my control. I will try a pen/paper, see how that goes down. Just wish it didn't have to come down to that.

The noise is horrible! Even with great hearing aids, the crowd noise makes me feel disoriented and dizzy. Well... the excessive social drinking makes me dizzy, too. Forgot to mention that - the big parties drive me to drink heavily so I don't go postal.

jillio · 11-01-2011, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby Nicole

Hope everyone enjoyed their Halloween weekend! DH and I dressed as Double Dare contestants.

Last couple of days, I've thought about this thread, and realized that I've talked so much about my parents/sister because I've been repeating the same ol' draining "suck it up" mentality with my new family - the in-laws. If I haven't figured "it" out with my own family, how on earth can I have a healthy relationship with my new family?

I suspect that you already know the answer to this one. But I certainly understand why you ask.
How do you know where to draw the line without coming off as selfish? What's a reasonable balance between appeasing your family and looking out for your own sanity?

It is never acceptable to sacrifice your own sanity just to appease your family. You need to look out for you. They obviously aren't going to do it. You have given them many years to do it. Chances are great that they will never "get it". And that is just who they are. They have the freedom to be who they are. Now give yourself permission to do the same.

An excellent example of an in-law incident involved my MIL throwing a post-wedding reception for us in DH's small hometown. She invited 300 guests, 90% of whom DH didn't know, because (her words) "It's impossible to invite one neighbor and not the rest, one K-12 teacher and not the rest, etc, because it's a small town." DH and I were not included in the party planning, so we didn't have a clue as to how excessive the guestlist was until MIL started reporting RSVP counts. By then, it was too late for DH to intervene on my behalf. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing that yet again, I was going to be a miserable deaf bride, only this time dealing with 300 strangers (instead of 150 friends/family in the know about my deafness at my own wedding.

Sounds like MIL needs to be taught some boundaries. Very presumptuous to plan a a post wedding party for you and your DH without your input. You are under no obligation to submit to that kind of control.Your feelings are as important as anyone else's. In this case, more. It was YOUR wedding.

At the post-wedding party, DH was glued to my side, answering every question for me, as I could not hear a word and just worked on keeping the fake smiling beaming and holding back tears. People pointedly stared at me when I couldn't answer them directly. I didn't feel like explaining, "Excuse me, I'm deaf" 300 times over and over. Hated every minute; I could not feel an ounce of gratitude towards my in-laws for throwing the party - this makes me feel like a selfish ingrate because a normal person would've loved the party and felt honored. But what's the point of throwing an expensive party when the "guest of honor" has to struggle through their worst nightmare?

It was horribly insensitive of your MIL to put you through that. She needs to know exactly how insensitive it was, and how much discomfort you endured at her hands.
MIL did know that I cannot participate in large social events, as I had confided in her that I was unable to hear anything during my own wedding. The day after the post-wedding reception, MIL came to me and said, all perky, "Oh, you must've had a hard time hearing at the party, huh?" I looked her square in the face and said, "Yeah, I didn't hear a word." Haven't spoke to her since.

Then she was not only insensitive, she was downright mean and self centered. She doesn't deserve your courtesy.
I don't have any coping skills; I either hold it all in or lash out. Nor do I know how to differentiate between an unfair situation versus a run-of-the-mill obligatory event that hearing people just suck it up for.

You have more coping skills that you realize. Otherwise, you would have dunked MIL in the punch bowl at the party!

You are erring on the side of caution. Situations like this do not deserve the respect of you sucking it up.

Abby Nicole · 11-01-2011, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillio

You have more coping skills that you realize. Otherwise, you would have dunked MIL in the punch bowl at the party!

You are erring on the side of caution. Situations like this do not deserve the respect of you sucking it up.

LOL!

Jillio - I spit out my diet coke on your punch-dunking comment, there was indeed a huge bowl of pink punch at the party. Hahah!

It's true that MIL put ahead her need of making the whole town feel invited, rather than settling for a smaller affair to make it more inviting to me. Sigh.

Old patterns die hard. I envy those of you who know how to put your foot down, dissenters be damned.

jillio · 11-01-2011, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby Nicole

LOL!

Jillio - I spit out my diet coke on your punch-dunking comment, there was indeed a huge bowl of pink punch at the party. Hahah!

It's true that MIL put ahead her need of making the whole town feel invited, rather than settling for a smaller affair to make it more inviting to me. Sigh.

Old patterns die hard. I envy those of you who know how to put your foot down, dissenters be damned.

It is a skill we have learned. You can learn it, too. Stick around.

We love to teach.

BecLak · 11-02-2011, 02:47 AM

Yes, Abby Nicole, welcome and I second Jillio's comment.

FireTiger · 11-02-2011, 08:54 AM

Welcome, have fun- (psst- its ok to be yourself here and even rant.

)

Krissy · 11-05-2011, 06:43 AM

Hey Abby

nice to meet you and welcome
The BWW sounds nice

hehe

**Smithtr** · 11-06-2011, 08:25 PM

Hello welcome to abby

**sallylou** · 11-06-2011, 09:56 PM

Csign could brush up on her social skills. Just saying. I've even given her a hint (i.e., specifically told her what to say that would be helpful). It's like when someone dies and people don't know what to say to a widow. Sometimes, people say something stupid out of akwardness. No one wants to be the person who does that. The widow is not going to tell you that you said something inappropriate. I am. Learning to ask for what I need. It's a good skill.

CSign · 11-06-2011, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSign

you were a product of your circumstances. At least now you can move forward making choices that feel right for you. It's obviously not your fault that you were placed in an Oral environment. The past is the past, and you have control of your destiny. Don't beat yourself up about it.

Since people continue to intentionally misinterpret what I wrote, I'd like to clarify for those that are confused.

Please note the sad face that precedes my post- that was put there because I feel empathetic to the OP that clearly had a tough time growing up. The OP seemed clear on what I wrote, but for some reason a handful of others are trying to make me seem unsympathetic/insensitive/fill in the word.

There is a BIG difference between the bolded above, and someone saying, "now you need to move on and make choices that feel right for you."

For those who aren't clear on the distinction between the two... My original post which I quoted above says that she can move on, in other words she has the ability to when she decides the time is right.

The second bolded statement is command or direction, saying that she must move on.

Big difference. I personally, would never tell someone what to say or do. But hey, that's just me

**Jiro** · 11-06-2011, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CSign

Since people continue to intentionally misinterpret what I wrote, I'd like to clarify for those that are confused.

then you should work on your communication skill so that you don't have to keep clarifying all the time.

**sallylou** · 11-06-2011, 11:40 PM

on or forward? That's a distinction without a difference?

**TXgolfer** · 11-06-2011, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sallylou

on or forward? That's a distinction without a difference?

Geez, she was just offering kind words. I think we all SEE what is happening here. Again.

whatdidyousay! · 11-07-2011, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby Nicole

Thank you, that brought tears to my eyes. The AG Bell award epitomizes my life, I was praised and congratulated on how well I concealed being deaf. It took years to figure out why that award and organization had an unsettling effect on me.

So you where rewarded for pretending to be a hearing person?? That had to been a very mix message to you. People are so clueless about kind of messages
they give to their kids and students. I think if you never feel up to it you should write a letter to AG Bell award organizers and let them know how you felt about their award!

Bebonang · 11-14-2011, 10:16 PM

to AllDeaf forum. You are not alone as we, some or many, had struggled with the oral only method in the mainstream schools, working and having the relationship in the hearing world. It is hard to move on when you are still struggling with your new in-laws especially MIL making your life difficult. If both families respect you understanding your deafness and the need to sign and being with the Deaf community, then you can move on. Otherwise, it is a continuing battle with the hearing society to make them understand of your freedom of being deaf person. Don't let anyone put you down if you don't like what they are doing to you. I feel for you, too.

I do hope you have fun reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here.

HH scientist · 11-15-2011, 04:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby Nicole

At the post-wedding party, DH was glued to my side, answering every question for me, as I could not hear a word and just worked on keeping the fake smiling beaming and holding back tears. People pointedly stared at me when I couldn't answer them directly. I didn't feel like explaining, "Excuse me, I'm deaf" 300 times over and over. Hated every minute; I could not feel an ounce of gratitude towards my in-laws for throwing the party - this makes me feel like a selfish ingrate because a normal person would've loved the party and felt honored. But what's the point of throwing an expensive party when the "guest of honor" has to struggle through their worst nightmare?

I have no personal experience from what you have experienced, but it feels hard to read what you have been going through.

I have been to two weddings in my life. At the first one, a friend was getting married. I knew some people there and at the post-wedding party dinner, I was sitting amongst them. It was good enough to hear everyone there and I was quite satisfied. At another wedding, a cousin of mine was getting married and I was not seated amongst friends/relatives at the post-wedding party dinner and it was much bigger as well. I could not hear a thing, so I ended up starring at a wall, the food or the ceiling or other things. It was not pleasant.

In both cases, the organizers were highly aware of my HOH status. And I told them explicitly beforehand that it could very well happen that I would not be enjoying the wedding because of the hearing issue, and if it were to happen, then they should not bear blame because they had not committed any fault as such. They did not take any offense both before and after the wedding, so did I.

But that is my experience and can only speak for myself.

Abby Nicole · 11-17-2011, 01:50 PM

It's funny because I do not nor will ever complain how someone else's wedding reception is organized, it's their event, their rules. As a guest, I am able to show up, simply seek out familiar acquaintances and try my best at conversation, no problem. And, as a guest, you're free to leave early, join the dancing, take cigarette breaks outside, or just be a quiet wallflower - no problem, no disappointing anyone with your lack of hearing. Didn't have those options as a bride.

I fell short in the wedding organizing because I allowed my mother and MIL to steamroll me into what their visions of the wedding receptions should be, regardless of how often I'd tell them, "Nope, won't hear that. Nope, won't hear that either." It didn't faze them in the least, they'd just shrug and look at me pityingly.

My husband asked me what we could have done differently, and to that, I have no answer. There's not a "Weddings for Deaf Dummies" book. He, like the rest of my family, gets frustrated because when I vent, they cannot offer solutions and I don't have any solutions to offer either. There's no magic bullet, one-size-fits-all solution.

This isn't purely about a wedding; rather the wedding is a microcosm of my life-long pursuit of doing things the hearing way and never actually finding happiness in it.

Jazzberry · 11-17-2011, 03:29 PM

I can empathize with what you are saying because my parents also made it clear that the only acceptable path for me was to act like a hearing person and to not expect anything else from anyone else except for a new hearing aid every few years.

I think its great that your husband is asking for alternatives, but I don't think it's realistic for us to be able to come up with the answers on our own.

Luckily we don't have to reinvent the wheel, other people have figured it out and it looks like this is one of the places to find out what the alternatives are.

Speaking for myself, I'm pretty happy about that and that I found this forum.

HH scientist · 11-17-2011, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby Nicole

It's funny because I do not nor will ever complain how someone else's wedding reception is organized, it's their event, their rules. As a guest, I am able to show up, simply seek out familiar acquaintances and try my best at conversation, no problem. And, as a guest, you're free to leave early, join the dancing, take cigarette breaks outside, or just be a quiet wallflower - no problem, no disappointing anyone with your lack of hearing. Didn't have those options as a bride.

I am truly sorry if I misunderstood something when writing my earlier post. I meant no harm. I should have known that you were the center of attention because you were the host at your wedding. And you are right that I was only a guest.

Abby Nicole · 11-17-2011, 04:07 PM

No, no - no apologies needed, I understood you were speaking from a guest standpoint. I was just clarifying that I don't have issues being a guest at big parties.

Abby Nicole · 11-17-2011, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jazzberry

Luckily we don't have to reinvent the wheel, other people have figured it out and it looks like this is one of the places to find out what the alternatives are.

Speaking for myself, I'm pretty happy about that and that I found this forum.

You are on point, it really feels like the burden is on us sometimes to reinvent the wheel. I wish I had joined AD a long time ago. Actually learning from others trials and errors is way easier than using your own life as a big social experiment all the time.

HH scientist · 11-17-2011, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby Nicole

But support and advice from those who share similar experiences is invaluable; I'm interested in making new friends and reading your different views and lifestyles. Hence, hello alldeaf.com, I'm looking forward to being a part of your community - thank you for reading.

It is great that we understand each other, Abby. I try to write things that reflect the spirit of what you wrote before.

Jazzberry · 11-17-2011, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abby Nicole

You are on point, it really feels like the burden is on us sometimes to reinvent the wheel. I wish I had joined AD a long time ago. Actually learning from others trials and errors is way easier than using your own life as a big social experiment all the time.

We are in total agreement.

**Cheetah** · 11-17-2011, 04:52 PM

My next wedding is going to be all deaf!!! ha ha ha ha Oh, damn, I'm going to have to invite family, right? Phoo. back to the drawing board...

blondon704 · 11-17-2011, 07:35 PM

I am a hearing parent (new to the board) with two deaf sons two hearing daughters. I am pushing more sign than oral because at this point my oldest son (4) seems more comfortable with sign as opposed to when he uses his words. This was a really helpful thread thank you :-) I love some of you guys responses I think I am going to fit in pretty well here :-P

11-01-2011, 09:46 AM	#63 (permalink)
Beach girl Registered User Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: northern Virginia in winter; NC in summer Posts: 3,760	Oh c'mon. "Plausible deniability" will only get you so far. Don't try to gas-light her; CSign is smart enough to know what was intended. TXgolfer and CSign like this.

11-01-2011, 12:03 PM	#65 (permalink)
Jazzberry Registered User Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: New York State Posts: 761 Blog Entries: 2	If it happens again, come with pen and paper? If people ask why, make the sign for "deaf'" to spare your voice. I think most hearing people know that sign. Its probably impossible to control other people's behavior. Just think about what your boundaries are and what YOU will do in any given situation. So, for example, you probably can't control either of your families love for big parties. But you can always have pen and paper with you. If the noise actually starts to hurt your ears, turn off your hearing aids! __________________ I was a mainstreamed "solitaire". I'm currently learning ASL. My hearing loss ranges from moderate to profound; my audiogram and speech discrimination are posted here.

11-02-2011, 02:47 AM	#70 (permalink)
BecLak Registered User Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 2,116	Yes, Abby Nicole, welcome and I second Jillio's comment. __________________ Severely deaf from birth. Deaf with a Purpose. God designed me this way so I do everything by God's Grace. Exodus 4:11 Ignorance is no longer bliss. Be Educated. KEEP IN STEP WITH ME: Sign Text Email Pen and Paper

11-02-2011, 08:54 AM	#71 (permalink)
FireTiger Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Arl, Jax, NE-FL, SE-USA, Earth, Solar System, Milky Way Galaxy, Local Group, Universe A, Mutiverse 1 Posts: 518	Welcome, have fun- (psst- its ok to be yourself here and even rant. ) Last edited by FireTiger; 11-02-2011 at 02:05 PM. Reason: me = be... don't know how I mannaged that... sigh

11-06-2011, 08:25 PM	#73 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,645	Hello welcome to abby __________________

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11-01-2011, 11:50 AM	#64 (permalink)
Abby Nicole Registered User Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 93	Hope everyone enjoyed their Halloween weekend! DH and I dressed as Double Dare contestants. Last couple of days, I've thought about this thread, and realized that I've talked so much about my parents/sister because I've been repeating the same ol' draining "suck it up" mentality with my new family - the in-laws. If I haven't figured "it" out with my own family, how on earth can I have a healthy relationship with my new family? How do you know where to draw the line without coming off as selfish? What's a reasonable balance between appeasing your family and looking out for your own sanity? An excellent example of an in-law incident involved my MIL throwing a post-wedding reception for us in DH's small hometown. She invited 300 guests, 90% of whom DH didn't know, because (her words) "It's impossible to invite one neighbor and not the rest, one K-12 teacher and not the rest, etc, because it's a small town." DH and I were not included in the party planning, so we didn't have a clue as to how excessive the guestlist was until MIL started reporting RSVP counts. By then, it was too late for DH to intervene on my behalf. I felt sick to my stomach, knowing that yet again, I was going to be a miserable deaf bride, only this time dealing with 300 strangers (instead of 150 friends/family in the know about my deafness at my own wedding). At the post-wedding party, DH was glued to my side, answering every question for me, as I could not hear a word and just worked on keeping the fake smiling beaming and holding back tears. People pointedly stared at me when I couldn't answer them directly. I didn't feel like explaining, "Excuse me, I'm deaf" 300 times over and over. Hated every minute; I could not feel an ounce of gratitude towards my in-laws for throwing the party - this makes me feel like a selfish ingrate because a normal person would've loved the party and felt honored. But what's the point of throwing an expensive party when the "guest of honor" has to struggle through their worst nightmare? MIL did know that I cannot participate in large social events, as I had confided in her that I was unable to hear anything during my own wedding. The day after the post-wedding reception, MIL came to me and said, all perky, "Oh, you must've had a hard time hearing at the party, huh?" I looked her square in the face and said, "Yeah, I didn't hear a word." Haven't spoke to her since. I don't have any coping skills; I either hold it all in or lash out. Nor do I know how to differentiate between an unfair situation versus a run-of-the-mill obligatory event that hearing people just suck it up for.

11-05-2011, 06:43 AM	#72 (permalink)
Krissy Registered User Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Manchester Posts: 243	Hey Abby nice to meet you and welcome The BWW sounds nice hehe

11-06-2011, 09:56 PM	#74 (permalink)
sallylou Potterhead and Janeite Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 6,653	Csign could brush up on her social skills. Just saying. I've even given her a hint (i.e., specifically told her what to say that would be helpful). It's like when someone dies and people don't know what to say to a widow. Sometimes, people say something stupid out of akwardness. No one wants to be the person who does that. The widow is not going to tell you that you said something inappropriate. I am. Learning to ask for what I need. It's a good skill. __________________

11-06-2011, 11:40 PM	#77 (permalink)
sallylou Potterhead and Janeite Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: My own private Idaho Posts: 6,653	on or forward? That's a distinction without a difference? __________________

11-14-2011, 10:16 PM	#80 (permalink)
Bebonang Registered User Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Manitoulin Island on Lake Huron in Canada Posts: 7,008	to AllDeaf forum. You are not alone as we, some or many, had struggled with the oral only method in the mainstream schools, working and having the relationship in the hearing world. It is hard to move on when you are still struggling with your new in-laws especially MIL making your life difficult. If both families respect you understanding your deafness and the need to sign and being with the Deaf community, then you can move on. Otherwise, it is a continuing battle with the hearing society to make them understand of your freedom of being deaf person. Don't let anyone put you down if you don't like what they are doing to you. I feel for you, too. I do hope you have fun reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here. __________________ I HAVE BEEN DEAF SINCE BIRTH, AND IT IS STILL AWESOME TO BE . (thumb up) (very happy)

11-17-2011, 01:50 PM	#82 (permalink)
Abby Nicole Registered User Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 93	It's funny because I do not nor will ever complain how someone else's wedding reception is organized, it's their event, their rules. As a guest, I am able to show up, simply seek out familiar acquaintances and try my best at conversation, no problem. And, as a guest, you're free to leave early, join the dancing, take cigarette breaks outside, or just be a quiet wallflower - no problem, no disappointing anyone with your lack of hearing. Didn't have those options as a bride. I fell short in the wedding organizing because I allowed my mother and MIL to steamroll me into what their visions of the wedding receptions should be, regardless of how often I'd tell them, "Nope, won't hear that. Nope, won't hear that either." It didn't faze them in the least, they'd just shrug and look at me pityingly. My husband asked me what we could have done differently, and to that, I have no answer. There's not a "Weddings for Deaf Dummies" book. He, like the rest of my family, gets frustrated because when I vent, they cannot offer solutions and I don't have any solutions to offer either. There's no magic bullet, one-size-fits-all solution. This isn't purely about a wedding; rather the wedding is a microcosm of my life-long pursuit of doing things the hearing way and never actually finding happiness in it.

11-17-2011, 03:29 PM	#83 (permalink)
Jazzberry Registered User Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: New York State Posts: 761 Blog Entries: 2	I can empathize with what you are saying because my parents also made it clear that the only acceptable path for me was to act like a hearing person and to not expect anything else from anyone else except for a new hearing aid every few years. I think its great that your husband is asking for alternatives, but I don't think it's realistic for us to be able to come up with the answers on our own. Luckily we don't have to reinvent the wheel, other people have figured it out and it looks like this is one of the places to find out what the alternatives are. Speaking for myself, I'm pretty happy about that and that I found this forum. __________________ I was a mainstreamed "solitaire". I'm currently learning ASL. My hearing loss ranges from moderate to profound; my audiogram and speech discrimination are posted here.

11-17-2011, 04:07 PM	#85 (permalink)
Abby Nicole Registered User Join Date: Oct 2011 Posts: 93	No, no - no apologies needed, I understood you were speaking from a guest standpoint. I was just clarifying that I don't have issues being a guest at big parties.

11-17-2011, 04:52 PM	#89 (permalink)
Cheetah Cheetah Consulting-Closed Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 2,694	My next wedding is going to be all deaf!!! ha ha ha ha Oh, damn, I'm going to have to invite family, right? Phoo. back to the drawing board...

11-17-2011, 07:35 PM	#90 (permalink)
blondon704 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: I live in the nowhere of all nowheres! Posts: 236	I am a hearing parent (new to the board) with two deaf sons two hearing daughters. I am pushing more sign than oral because at this point my oldest son (4) seems more comfortable with sign as opposed to when he uses his words. This was a really helpful thread thank you :-) I love some of you guys responses I think I am going to fit in pretty well here :-P

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