need advice

Hiya I I'm looking for some advice my name is Steven and I have just found out that my 13 month old daughter is deaf she is being offered chocular implants but I don't know what to do I live in Scotland and most schools for the deaf around hear join main stream around the age of 5 but let's be honest kids can be cruel and I would hate her to be build cos she is deaf on the other hand I have seen on tv shows Like csi that some people in the deaf community shun people with implants is this true or just on tv? Basically me and my wife don't know what to do for having the implants to school and I really need advice! I'm looking at what's best both long term and short term for my daughter thanks for looking Steven

For me, I would pass on CI. If you want CI, don't let anyone dictate whether you want CI for your kid or not.

faithsdad said:

Hiya I I'm looking for some advice my name is Steven and I have just found out that my 13 month old daughter is deaf she is being offered chocular implants but I don't know what to do I live in Scotland and most schools for the deaf around hear join main stream around the age of 5 but let's be honest kids can be cruel and I would hate her to be build cos she is deaf on the other hand I have seen on tv shows Like csi that some people in the deaf community shun people with implants is this true or just on tv? Basically me and my wife don't know what to do for having the implants to school and I really need advice! I'm looking at what's best both long term and short term for my daughter thanks for looking Steven

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Kids who are bullies will find any reason to do their horrible thing. A few questions:

Do you have other deaf people in your family / circle of friends?

What language is your daughter currently using to communicate with your family?

What educational / intervention programs do you have access to (sign language based parent infant groups, sign language instruction, deaf or other schools with programs for toddlers?)

my perspective:
check the HA/CI, Sign Language/Oralism and Deaf Education threads on here, learn about the perspectives in the d/Deaf community here to see what you think.
Don't let the doctors, audiologists etc make your child as "disabled" or a having a medical condition that a CI will "fix".
Don't go by what you see on tv.

yes, that's certainly true about the bullies, Grendel!

One thing I would start doing now, regardless of whether or not you choose to get your child implanted is to start using sign language with her. That is really the only way you can guarantee she will have access to language. We have another poster here from Scotland, and from the way she describes it educational opportunities are very limited for DHH children. I don't quite understand the way it works in Scotland, but if there is any way you can get her in a program for DHH children in the next number if months, I'd highly recommend it. Studies have shown that children who receive early intervention often times do much better in the long run.
I would take some time to think about whether or not you want to get her implanted. As other posters have mentioned, the deciscion should come from you and not "the professionals." She is perfect just the way she is, she is deaf and there are ways to communicate without using only spoken language. I've seen some success stories for kids who have been implanted, and I've also seem some who received no auditory benefit after receiving bilateral CI's. Needless to say, it's not something to take lightly. Either way, love your daughter and make a list of the pros and cons of getting implanted. You need to be 100% behind your decision, no matter which way you go.
Even if you choose to go with the CI, sign language will enable you to communicate effectively with her when her CI is on or off, and in the time between implantation and mappings. Sign is a valuable asset to the DHH community, regardless of whether or not they use any devices.

Hello you and welcome.


My opinion is also wait on the CIs and build the communication now that you see fit for your daughter.
If, later down the line your daughter decides on CIs, then it's her choice...don't make the choice for her. I don't believe in taking the doctors advise on "fixing" deafness, there isn't anything to fix.


Anyways, congrats on the fairly new addition to the family!

faithsdad said:

Hey,

Thanks for all your advice it has been very helpful. My neice is 4 yrs old and she is profoundly deaf so we all ready use sign langauge at home. Faith has been assessed as very advanced so they have pushed her through the CI assessments extremely quickly as the docs say this will be a great advantage with her learning to speak. We have 2 schools were we live one is a deaf school that puts the kids in to mainstream schooling at 5 and the other is a purpose built school for the deaf and hard of hearing we are currently trying to get her on the waiting list for this school. As for groups and help we just found out in march that she is profoundly deaf so we have had no contact with anyone besides her doctors and speech and language teacher.

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Wow, it's fantastic that you already have a deaf family member AND are using sign at home! You are head and shoulders ahead of where my family was when we adopted our daughter at 1YO and immediately discovered that she was deaf. We opted for sign language right away, within the first 2 weeks at home, didn't want to waste a moment -- and it was one of the top 4 best decisions we've made: 1. urgent and immersive ASL 2. a CI before 2YO 3. a bi-bi school for the deaf 4. a second CI as soon as approved. If I could change anything, it would have been to do all of that faster: providing more language (both signed and spoken) by full family ASL immersion and getting both implants earlier. The drum kit was probably our worst idea ever -- we've hidden it away after many headaches -- followed closely by the permanent marker we left on a table in our newly painted living room.

Wishing you lots of happiness: we've found these first few years raising a deaf child to be an amazing adventure, and expect many more wonderful things to come.

I'm Deaf, and I want to point out that you're also seeing advice from hearing parents of deaf children...

I personally say that CI is not necessary.

posts from hell said:

I'm Deaf, and I want to point out that you're also seeing advice from hearing parents of deaf children...

I personally say that CI is not necessary.

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I don't think it's necessary to group people together PFH. Everyone has opinions, whether they are deaf or hearing. You are against CI's which is fine. Grendel spoke of her experience with her daughter getting implanted, but I didn't read that she was telling the OP to get the child implanted.

If you read my post, I didn't make a suggestion either way about getting implanted. My only suggestion was to use sign language, which the family is already doing.

It's not necessary to try and discredit what "hearing parents" are saying. Everyone has different opinions on many things, including the CI. Some people who are d/Deaf have a CI and are grateful. Many choose not to have a CI and are happy just the way they are. You are right, a CI isn't necessary to communicate but it can be useful to some who want to receive auditory
benefit.

faithsdad, CSign has a good point there. I am deaf with some hearing in my right ear , and I do wear one powerful hearing aid. PFH is so annoying that it makes me want to wear more, even though they would do no good.

Maybe deciding by how well CI is accepted where you are is part of your decision. Grendel also had a good point about kids finding some reason to bully anyway no matter the environment.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Bottesini said:

faithsdad, CSign has a good point there. I am deaf with some hearing in my right ear , and I do wear one powerful hearing aid. PFH is so annoying that it makes me want to wear more, even though they would do no good.

Maybe deciding by how well CI is accepted where you are is part of your decision. Grendel also had a good point about kids finding some reason to bully anyway no matter the environment.

Good luck whatever you decide.

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the CI is a personal decision but pls pls do expose her to sign language.

Deaf with no CIs here.

CSign said:

I don't think it's necessary to group people together PFH. Everyone has opinions, whether they are deaf or hearing. You are against CI's which is fine. Grendel spoke of her experience with her daughter getting implanted, but I didn't read that she was telling the OP to get the child implanted.

If you read my post, I didn't make a suggestion either way about getting implanted. My only suggestion was to use sign language, which the family is already doing.

It's not necessary to try and discredit what "hearing parents" are saying. Everyone has different opinions on many things, including the CI. Some people who are d/Deaf have a CI and are grateful. Many choose not to have a CI and are happy just the way they are. You are right, a CI isn't necessary to communicate but it can be useful to some who want to receive auditory
benefit.

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I just felt the need to point it out so the OP can differ from who's who.

Try and show her Sign Language. CI or not, Sign language is something to try and would be helpful on either way you decide for your daughter, I'd bet.

Mudkipz said:

Try and show her Sign Language. CI or not, Sign language is something to try and would be helpful on either way you decide for your daughter, I'd bet.

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That's absolutely right.

She is perfect just the way she is, she is deaf and there are ways to communicate without using only spoken language. I've seen some success stories for kids who have been implanted, and I've also seem some who received no auditory benefit after receiving bilateral CI's.

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Great post CSign!!!!! I for one view CIs as pretty much like hearing aids. Some kids with deaf losses get a lot of benifit from HA, and others don't. Same with CI......(and before faire joure jumps in to claim that most kids who are implanted can hear at mild loss levels, perhaps that's just the kids who were followed in that particlar study. Also improvement in CI listening use may be due to the fact that more kids with residual hearing may have been implanted)
I do think that CIs aren't as demonized as they were in the past. Especially if you use it ALONG with BSL. A lot of adults who were part of the second and third wave of CIs are part of the Deaf community now.
Oh and re: schooling. Get her into the Deaf School. It does seem like minimal accomondations in Scotland are even worse then they are in the US. I have a friend who was minimally accomondations mainstreamed in Scotland and she really missed out on EVERYTHING. She never even had Resource Room or any real special ed intervention. Her social skills and social emotional issues are also really bad too.

There's deaf school you may have heard of in Scotland, donaldson deaf school, have you tried there? Forget mainstream, I have worked as LSA in mainstream school with deaf kids, they are rarely in one place (their own classroom) as teachers always brings up excuses such as "oh i forgot to get resources for them" or "they can't take part in a play" "oh the radio aid doesn't work can you do this/that with them in the base!" you can image my fury.
I had good education at my Deaf school even i hated it (i was labeled as posh child due to my privellaged background/where i live), i was mainstreamed 5-11, loved it as my teacher took her time to make sure i am doing well but my parents didn't want me to be chucked in fast pacing secondary school with 30 plus kids in classrooms and the background noise would have been unbearable so they put me in deaf school which i excelled.

CI or not she will learn to speak in her own time at her own accord, I have always been profoundly deaf and aided with HA's since 2, i found my voice at 5 after years of signing/lipreading, and haven't stopped talking since!. I am fluent in both language and do have CI now (recieved at 30!) I have not been stunned by the community when i got the ci, I am much more involved now days with the deaf people than when i was an oral deaf, and there is more and more deaf adults/young adults with ci's (and they still signs!)
I work with deaf children in the holidays, there are mixture of deaf with CI's, HOH, deaf with HA's, deaf with no HA's/CI's, they all play together. The society now days are much better than it used to be 20-30 years ago.

It has to come from your heart, you know your little girl and see what she needs.