Feeling Different/ Left Out. Suggestions????

MelissaWatt

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I grew up in a small town, went to public school all my life, speech, lip reading and various hearing aids. My parents wanted me to be as normal as possible in the sense it would make me a strong person in life.
I for some reason now feel that I have missed out on what was suppose to be normal for me. My entire family is hearing. I am HOH and feel that if I had learned some ASL, then I would not feel so different and empowered as capable in both worlds. I know a little sign, but use it as I was taught English in school. When I do see sign, I have a hard time picking it up unless the signee is using their speech as well.
what to do? any suggestions???
 
I grew up in a small town, went to public school all my life, speech, lip reading and various hearing aids. My parents wanted me to be as normal as possible in the sense it would make me a strong person in life.
I for some reason now feel that I have missed out on what was suppose to be normal for me. My entire family is hearing. I am HOH and feel that if I had learned some ASL, then I would not feel so different and empowered as capable in both worlds. I know a little sign, but use it as I was taught English in school. When I do see sign, I have a hard time picking it up unless the signee is using their speech as well.
what to do? any suggestions???

You can still learn ASL and I wish someone would define normal to me . What is a 'normal 'person , does being hoh or deaf mean we're abnormal . I would think not ! Are there any deaf and hoh center you go to ?
I knew up in a small town and was the only one in my family HOH and I know what you mean about feeling left out . Do you work or go to school ?
 
You can still learn ASL and I wish someone would define normal to me . What is a 'normal 'person , does being hoh or deaf mean we're abnormal . I would think not ! Are there any deaf and hoh center you go to ?
I knew up in a small town and was the only one in my family HOH and I know what you mean about feeling left out . Do you work or go to school ?

I only know enough to know that after trying the digital, I don't want to hear what everyone else does that is considered "normal" NO THANK YOU.. the humming of the refrigerators, all that heavy bass or the high pitches that leave my skin crawling. My hubby was so good at informing me what was "normal" hearing especially after I shoved my hearing aid in his ear.. :giggle:
I did work here and there growing up.. Tried to work at a restaurant at 16 ( not good_ fired), small cafe store in the mall( fired), pool cleaner ( that worked every summer cause it was a one person job, YMCA of Ozarks( let go), and after marriage, lots of babysitting, nanny position for one year and then once deployed overseas I was a paraprofessional ( let go ) and then I finally started subbing for teachers. That all ended 19 yrs ago when I had my first baby..Havent had a job in 19 yrs.. ( I am 46 yrs old now )
 
You can still learn ASL and I wish someone would define normal to me . What is a 'normal 'person , does being hoh or deaf mean we're abnormal . I would think not ! Are there any deaf and hoh center you go to ?
I knew up in a small town and was the only one in my family HOH and I know what you mean about feeling left out . Do you work or go to school ?

Yes! Unfortunatly there's this fixtation with kids with all sorts of issues, about Appearing As Normal As Possible (even if it's only superficially) Hearing parents really do need to reframe "normal".......and simply ACCEPT that just b/c a dhh kid uses ASL or attends deaf school, that doesn't mean that they're not "normal"....At the CORE.....they can do anything except hear normally!
 
Yes! Unfortunatly there's this fixtation with kids with all sorts of issues, about Appearing As Normal As Possible (even if it's only superficially) Hearing parents really do need to reframe "normal".......and simply ACCEPT that just b/c a dhh kid uses ASL or attends deaf school, that doesn't mean that they're not "normal"....At the CORE.....they can do anything except hear normally!

I have people looking at me all the time like I am retarded b/c my hoh 'accent' . There are still stupid people that think
deaf + hoh= 'retarded'. You would think by now people would realize this is not true.
 
The only time I feel "normal" is when I am in the Deaf community. No struggles with trying to understand everyone and being treated like a leaper.

That's the only suggestion I have...is to learn more ASL and get involved with the Deaf community. If there is not a large one, find other deaf or hoh people in your area who feel the same .
 
The only time I feel "normal" is when I am in the Deaf community. No struggles with trying to understand everyone and being treated like a leaper.

That's the only suggestion I have...is to learn more ASL and get involved with the Deaf community. If there is not a large one, find other deaf or hoh people in your area who feel the same .

What is your suggestion for how to find those people? Remember this is a small town we are talking about.
 
What is your suggestion for how to find those people? Remember this is a small town we are talking about.

There are FB pages for towns now...can post in those pages. Go to the audiologist offices and ask about any events for deaf/hoh people. See if there is an agency in the area that serves deaf/hoh people. If not, then I have no other suggestions except to move which is easier said than done.
 
I have people looking at me all the time like I am retarded b/c my hoh 'accent' . There are still stupid people that think
deaf + hoh= 'retarded'. You would think by now people would realize this is not true.

I used to have a HOH accent when I was little (went away after I was fitted with braces plus a bite jumper) * my Rs pretty much stink lol*
 
I used to have a HOH accent when I was little (went away after I was fitted with braces plus a bite jumper) * my Rs pretty much stink lol*

I had braces too but that did not help my HOH accent , I was 8 yo when I got my first HA I had speech lessons at home but not long enough to help
 
Safarigirl@011 and whatdidyousay ~ I had speech classes pretty much to the day I graduated high school. Most of the time now people just ask me where I am from. Given that I have a ton of family from Texas/Louisiana ( cajun ) and family in Southeast Missouri.. I come off with a twang.. I take that as a compliment any day.
 
Normal is subjective and varies from culture to culture and even social group to social group. You didn't miss out on anything for not knowing ASL because you still have time to learn and grow as a person. Everyone does.
 
Safarigirl@011 and whatdidyousay ~ I had speech classes pretty much to the day I graduated high school. Most of the time now people just ask me where I am from. Given that I have a ton of family from Texas/Louisiana ( cajun ) and family in Southeast Missouri.. I come off with a twang.. I take that as a compliment any day.

I lives in Massachusetts and have a slight Boston accent on top of my HOH accent. I had people ask me where I come from too, someone said I had pretty French accent , and I was told I had nice Mexican accent and the guy was from Mexico . And one little girl said I sound like a monkey and she thought that cool ! LOL!
 
I only know enough to know that after trying the digital, I don't want to hear what everyone else does that is considered "normal" NO THANK YOU.. the humming of the refrigerators, all that heavy bass or the high pitches that leave my skin crawling. My hubby was so good at informing me what was "normal" hearing especially after I shoved my hearing aid in his ear.. :giggle:
I did work here and there growing up.. Tried to work at a restaurant at 16 ( not good_ fired), small cafe store in the mall( fired), pool cleaner ( that worked every summer cause it was a one person job, YMCA of Ozarks( let go), and after marriage, lots of babysitting, nanny position for one year and then once deployed overseas I was a paraprofessional ( let go ) and then I finally started subbing for teachers. That all ended 19 yrs ago when I had my first baby..Havent had a job in 19 yrs.. ( I am 46 yrs old now )

How did you get into the military? I tried as my friends all enlisted, I was denied due to my hearing and I could hear fairly well back when I was younger ( just couldn't hear high pitched sounds)??? Military wouldn't accept anyone with hearing impairments at all regardless.
 
How did you get into the military? I tried as my friends all enlisted, I was denied due to my hearing and I could hear fairly well back when I was younger ( just couldn't hear high pitched sounds)??? Military wouldn't accept anyone with hearing impairments at all regardless.

Maybe they had someone pull some strings for them ??
 
Normal is subjective and varies from culture to culture and even social group to social group. You didn't miss out on anything for not knowing ASL because you still have time to learn and grow as a person. Everyone does.

I do think she missed out on a lot of positive identity stuff thou....It sounds like she grew up Totally Inclusive....Like Auditory-Verbal without the AVT...Which is a horrible way to grow up if you think about it. It at its CORE, is about appearing as Normal As Possible...it really doesn't acknowledge that specialized stuff might actually HELP a kid achieve, academicly and socially. I have NO beef whatsoever with parents who made the decision to give their kids a full toolbox. I actually know of some kids who were raised that way (and maybe even went to Deaf School) who decided that they prefer to speak.(we have our own Meg here who had that experience) That's awesome for that minority...... But they had that CHOICE....Most oral/AVT kids did not have that choice........
 
And the thing is with an auditory verbal approach, dhh kids miss out on even deaf specific educational approaches.....Like a Clarke/CID/St Joseph's/Tucker Maxon/Sunshine Cottage/DePaul experience is very different from a mainstream "inclusive" approach, which is basicly what the auditory verbal approach wants.
 
Oh and Melissa.....join the club! Your experience is VERY common with kids who grew up HOH/oral deaf. I think that parents meant well by treating us "normally" ...That's the way it was thought..."Oh they don't "need" ASL or "special schools" They can just grow up NORMALLY, and not have to deal with stuff for OH NO.....DISABILTY! But it turned out that specialized stuff could be of value....I wish parents thought of it this way......Christians have Christian schools, camps and organizations to help meet their needs that can't be found in the secular world, gay people have their own organizations and towns(ie Provincetown, Noho) and areas, bars, literature and magazines....Basicly all kinds of different minorities have their own organizations, magazines etc ...and they're encouraged to parcipate in all that stuff..... b/c it all serves a need that is NOT MET in the mainstream world......Kids with disabilities have NO lack of exposure to the "real" mainstream world.......but yet they're the only minority to be encouraged to assimulate into the world, and to believe the myth that they don't "need" a specialized support system or methodologies.......
 
I only know enough to know that after trying the digital, I don't want to hear what everyone else does that is considered "normal" NO THANK YOU.. the humming of the refrigerators, all that heavy bass or the high pitches that leave my skin crawling. My hubby was so good at informing me what was "normal" hearing especially after I shoved my hearing aid in his ear.. :giggle:
I did work here and there growing up.. Tried to work at a restaurant at 16 ( not good_ fired), small cafe store in the mall( fired), pool cleaner ( that worked every summer cause it was a one person job, YMCA of Ozarks( let go), and after marriage, lots of babysitting, nanny position for one year and then once deployed overseas I was a paraprofessional ( let go ) and then I finally started subbing for teachers. That all ended 19 yrs ago when I had my first baby..Havent had a job in 19 yrs.. ( I am 46 yrs old now )

How did you get into the military? I tried as my friends all enlisted, I was denied due to my hearing and I could hear fairly well back when I was younger ( just couldn't hear high pitched sounds)??? Military wouldn't accept anyone with hearing impairments at all regardless.

Maybe they had someone pull some strings for them ??

It seems to me that she married someone that was in the military. Family can go along to some posts in Europe for example.
 
Maybe they had someone pull some strings for them ??

Hahahah, nope.
I knew the recruiter and Master Drill Sergent and they couldn't do a thing. This isn't like getting in the door working for walmart, you go through testing, medical...ect... with groups of people (and yes you strip down to you underwear with men and women in the room with the doctors) they look for scars, tattoos...ect... and everything is on records including a hearing test.
 
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