LisaG

Hello My name is Lisa i am new to this but have some concerns. I was born deaf in my right ear. I have 2 aunts and 1 cousin totally deaf. I had a baby girl 10 months ago today and she is also deaf in her right ear as well. I have gone to genetics which i know this is hereditary. I am questioning about having 1 more baby but am concerned if the second baby would come out totally deaf or just deaf in 1 ear. My Husband does not want anymore because of the situation we have gone through with our daughter. He is scared that the next baby will be totally deaf and he would not know how to deal with it. Not sure what to do. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Deafness

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Bottesini

Embrace your deafness. It's not exactly an impediment to enjoying life.

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Sarfarigirl2011

welcome to AD, there's alot of moms on the same boat but they will pop up
I was kinda born that way and worn hearing aids since I was 6 months old

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18 yr old girl with a moderate/severe in the right and severe on the left.
currently wearing purple Oticon Safari P 600s

rockin'robin

CSign

Welcome! I think the sooner you gather information and support, the sooner you'll be able to feel good about the situation. Deafness is not something to be scared about. Empower yourself by gaining knowledge about how to give your child what she needs to be happy, healthy, and successful.

Have you been linked up with Early Intervention yet? It doesn't sound like it...

GrendelQ

With so many deaf in your family, it looks like you are well-prepared for raising a deaf child, and she'll be growing up in a very aware environment. That's wonderful for you all! You mention that your husband doesn't want another child "because of the situation we have gone through with our daughter" -- is she OK, what happened?

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Anij

Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

Echoing GrendelQ - what "situation" has your daughter been though?

There's nothing wrong with being deaf and it's certainly not a "horrible" thing.

The truth is when you decide to have children you have to understand and accept that a fairly large percentage of children will have something "extra" that needs attention. It could be hearing,vision,fine/gross motor, mobility, mental/cognitive etc. It could be something that they are born with, or something they acquire in infancy/childhood/adulthood from illness or accident.

If the only child you want is a "perfect one", honestly -you either shouldn't have children, or you need to re-evaluate what "perfect" means.

I'm Hoh/Deaf ... I was born totally deaf on my right side, and have acquired HL on my left. In many ways I see it as a blessing - I've met wonderful people, have good understanding friends, have two "worlds" and "communities", have two languages. I've also learned not to pity or judge those who are different from myself - I see them not a condition. All of these wonderful things are because I'm Hoh/Deaf.

A hoh or deaf child is just as perfect as a hearing child ... I cannot fathom seeing them any other way.

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Hoh/Deaf ~ +120db deaf right , mild/mod flux left & APD
English & ASL ...PAH!!


Ignorance is NOT Bliss

jbeer

where do you live, lisa? there's lots of support available, depending where you are... my son is hh (sloping, moderately-severe to profound) in both ears, has had bilateral aids since he was 4 months old. it's been a struggle at times, but he's doing great.

deafdyke

I couldn't have said it better!!!!!! Being unilaterally dhh is NOT that huge of a deal overall. Yes, it's unexpected but it's something you can adapt to and live with. Kids born dhh will never know what it's like to be hearing, in the same way that you will never know what it's like to be a man. It's not bad,it's not good. It just IS. You know there are MANY Deaf couples who would LOVE it if their kid was born dhh! I find it really ironic that parents are always " Oh I want a unique special baby!" and then when they have a baby who IS unique and special, they greive and mourn.

deafdyke

and yanno, we're taught to see disabilty as inabilty, and the fact that someone is dhh or blind/low vision or uses a chair or whatever as a giant tragedy......but what if it is actually a BLESSING?!?!? What if it's a GOOD thing? Granted yes mental disabilty is very different from physical and sensory disabilties...but people with physical and sensory disabilties can still live rich full lives!

Anij

Wirelessly posted (Blackberry Bold )

DD - are you or have you ever been SSD ??

On multiple posts you make a lot of comments about what it's like to be a Uni - most of which honestly aren't accurate "being SSD isn't that huge a deal overall" ... Seriously? Do you have any idea how audist that is? Do you realise that people with unilateral CI's typically hear significantly better than those who are naturally SSD?

Unless you've actually ever been 100% unilaterally deaf - don't presume to explain what it's like.

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Hoh/Deaf ~ +120db deaf right , mild/mod flux left & APD
English & ASL ...PAH!!


Ignorance is NOT Bliss

Smithtr

welcome to alldeaf

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Sarfarigirl2011

dude, that looks like a pretty good conclusion U got up there!
but she seems to look like it

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18 yr old girl with a moderate/severe in the right and severe on the left.
currently wearing purple Oticon Safari P 600s

deafdyke

Anji, how the heck is that audist? I think it's audist to grieve over a loss in ONE ear. You can adapt to and live a rich full life without perfect hearing, is all I mean to say. Yes, I know that generally unilateral HOH kids get even less accomondations and Dhh intervention, then do bilateral HOH kids, but maybe if people were agrressive and gave unilateral HOH kids things like hearing aids, dhh intervention, like speechreading instruction and even ASL instruction (for crowded/noisy/diffult listening sitions) being unilateral HOH wouldn't be that big of a deal........and yes, I know what it's like to be unilateral HOH......I've been that way for a few months, since my hearing aid is in the shop.

Anij

Being temporarily SSD isn't the same as actually being SSD. Not even close.

Also keep in mine that MOST people with SSD aren't able to actually use/benefit from HAs, because of the way SSD is - those who were hearing and became SSD do tend to benefit (slightly/moderately) from things such as CROS or BAHA aids, but those who are born SSD, or have pre-lingually /paralignually acquired SSD do not - due to the way the brain is wired to access sound and a number of other reasons.

Also keep in mind that SSD means that you have no "front sound", "back sound" and huge "head shadow" issues ... the range of hearing is a very small angle - and only from the side. This means each conversation you have to pick between focusing on speechreading or hearing, since you have to angle yourself towards the person to hear.

For those who are bilaterally hoh/deaf and use a HA, you have a forward facing mic (and often a rear) this allows you to actually hear sounds in front of you. with SSD, you actaully don't hear what's in front of you - only to the side (from the "hearing side"). This is one of the reasons that if someone with SSD also has even slight HL on their "hearing side" they often find aiding the "hearing side" (slight/mild Hoh) works significantly better than using CROS.

Also there is a high prevalence of APD/CAPD with SSD - making it all additionally complicated.

For those of us who were born SSD, especially those of us who've also acquired additional hearing loss on our "hearing side" making us SSD+Hoh, statistically we hear and understand significantly LESS than those with unilaterally implanted CIs. We are (often) far more deaf than hearing ... in fact we have a few people on the board who went from being SSD, to bilat deaf, then got CI and they all state that they hear much better now with the CI (uni) than they ever did when they were SSD (naturally).

It's insulting for someone who's "got their HA in the shop for a few months" to go around explaining what it's like to be SSD.
It's almost as bad and offensive as someone trying to explain that they "know what it's like to be deaf, because they had a really bad ear infection for a week once", or "I know what it's like to be gay, because I saw a person of the same gender and thought they were 'cute'". Short term exposure is not at all the same as years, decades or a lifetime of experience.

Please, stick to offering advise about what you actaully know about, and leave discussing SSD, APD, etc to those of us on here who actually have lived with it.

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Hoh/Deaf ~ +120db deaf right , mild/mod flux left & APD
English & ASL ...PAH!!


Ignorance is NOT Bliss

deafdyke

jeez, anji, I never EVER pretended I knew about the entire experiance of being unilateral dhh. ALL I am saying is that with the right adaptations and a full toolbox....b/c after all very few unilateral dhh folks get things like a full toolbox, that unilateral dhh folks can still live rich full satisfying lives. THAT is the problem...that unilateral folks are expected to be mostly hearing, and not need dhh stuff. That's the same issue that a lot of bilateral hoh people have you know!!!
And I disagree with you that my experiance going without an aid for a few months is equliavant to " I saw a same sex person and thought s/he was cute"......
All I am saying is that overall in the grand scheme of things, it's not something to mourn or to go into deep grief about. Just accept it and move on.