How you know?

SkullChick · 08-17-2011, 07:42 PM

Wirelessly posted

I have question for you guys, how did you know you were gay/lesbian/bisexual mainly because I've always been curious about girls but never pursuit it because at the end I want to be married to guy so I can have kids (2 genes into one child instead of semen from other guy and cant have other female genes) and also I cant get past the yike/super taboo about doing sexual stuff to other girl even though I'm completely cool about other people preference, even had alot of glbt friends so how did you know and get past the fear?

**Daredevel7** · 08-17-2011, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

I have question for you guys, how did you know you were gay/lesbian/bisexual mainly because I've always been curious about girls but never pursuit it because at the end I want to be married to guy so I can have kids (2 genes into one child instead of semen from other guy and cant have other female genes) and also I cant get past the yike/super taboo about doing sexual stuff to other girl even though I'm completely cool about other people preference, even had alot of glbt friends so how did you know and get past the fear?

I thought like you once. I considered myself straight for a long time even though I've always liked girls (earliest I remember was in middle school). I also liked guys so I thought it wasn't even worth pursuing women due to the negative view on gay people. Why date a woman when I can live the easier life marrying a man, right? Dated only men and I fell in love with 2 guys, but they didn't work out. Met a woman, fell in love with her. Even though that also didn't work out, it opened up the real possibility of actually spending the rest of my life with a woman. Now I'm in a very committed relationship with my current gf for almost 2 years and many more to come!

Get past the fear? Well, very good question. Most of my family and my dad do not know, so I'm still trying to get past the fear!!!

SkullChick · 08-17-2011, 08:04 PM

Wirelessly posted

noticed but decided to ignored girl since 14 and became boy crazy since 6th grade had hundreds of boy crushes but only 2 bfs and one I was engaged to but ended almost 2 weeks ago, and only had 2 girl crushes and never done or thought further about it.

Mizzou · 08-19-2011, 12:04 PM

I used to be "think" straight with girl when I was young but I dated my former boyfriend in high school because I would marry him and have kids. When graduated high school and our relationship faded. I never know who I am till I met frist former girlfriend. In my 7th years with partner and am transman.

LuciaDisturbed · 08-19-2011, 09:33 PM

I realized I liked girls when I was 15 and even had sex with another girl at that age. I came out to my best friend when I was 16. I was with a guy for 4 years but we broke up last year and I am glad we broke up because it wasn't a great relationship and I was replused at the thought of giving him oral sex and I thought dicks are gross. I am single but looking for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. I think women's bodies are much more beautiful and more graceful. Dicks are so gross and ugly to look at and I don't know why I was with my ex for so long. I am a lesbian and have known since I was 15 and my best friend noticed lesbian tendencies in me as early as 12 years old. I am out to most people and to my mom's side of the family and to my aunt on my dad's side of the family. I am proud to be a lesbian. There is no shame in being gay/lesbian.

**shel90** · 08-20-2011, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuciaDisturbed

I realized I liked girls when I was 15 and even had sex with another girl at that age. I came out to my best friend when I was 16. I was with a guy for 4 years but we broke up last year and I am glad we broke up because it wasn't a great relationship and I was replused at the thought of giving him oral sex and I thought dicks are gross. I am single but looking for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. I think women's bodies are much more beautiful and more graceful. Dicks are so gross and ugly to look at and I don't know why I was with my ex for so long. I am a lesbian and have known since I was 15 and my best friend noticed lesbian tendencies in me as early as 12 years old. I am out to most people and to my mom's side of the family and to my aunt on my dad's side of the family. I am proud to be a lesbian. There is no shame in being gay/lesbian.

That's interesting because I think vaginas are so ugly and gross. I think dicks are beautiful and I grab any opportunity to see one in person whether it is my hubby's or other men's. Something about them just turns me on.

Just interesting how people's minds work...

SkullChick · 08-20-2011, 09:30 PM

Wirelessly posted

you think penis is beautiful? lmao I always thought its weird and the balls is so ugly and vagina is not a big deal sometimes ugly, sometimes weird looking sometimes normal. and I also HATE giving bj it taste nasty even if guy just came out of shower and the semen taste horrible! sorry men

deafdyke · 08-21-2011, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

you think penis is beautiful? lmao I always thought its weird and the balls is so ugly and vagina is not a big deal sometimes ugly, sometimes weird looking sometimes normal. and I also HATE giving bj it taste nasty even if guy just came out of shower and the semen taste horrible! sorry men

For some reason this post cracked me up completely.
I knew when I was fifteen, and fell in love with my best friend at an all girls camp. It was 16 years and three weeks ago exactly. I remember I knew I really liked her, but I thought it was as a friend. Then she got crowned Indian Princess. I walked up to her to give her a hug to congradutate her. Instead she kissed me on the cheek. Like a big wet sloppy kiss. I staggered backwards, and thought "OMG, that feels GOOD. OMG I love her?!?! OMG I'm GAY?!?!/" I remember walking to my cabin in a daze, and my counselor going " you look happy" when she was giving us our goodnight hugs

**Dixie** · 08-27-2011, 01:42 AM

This is a good question. For years I questioned. I remember having girl crushes from a very young age. By high school I was toying with the idea of going all the way with another girl in my head but I never told anyone because of the fear. Well, I ended up getting knocked up by a guy in college and so I dropped out to marry him and have my DD. That marriage lasted only 18 months before we were officially divorced in the State of Arkansas. It was a really abusive relationship. After that ended I told myself, "Never again."

Well about 6 months after the divorce I got involved with a woman and I liked it. It ended on a sour note, but in the long run I'm glad it ended. It was going to be a bad relationship if we were going to continue.

Then I a dated a guy for about two years. I had no intentions of marrying him, but why we even stayed together is beyond me. I think he was just holding on while I was trying to move on. That ended quietly. We just both drifted apart.

Then I started finding myself fantasizing about going all the way with a woman. Almost obsessing over it really. It was a messed up thought pattern I think. I never told anyone, never mentioned it, never gave away any indication of it outwardly although my thoughts were consumed with it.

Then one day the question was popped to me at work "Are you gay?" At that moment I thought - well crap if it's oozing off of me then I must be gay. I mean I have been fantasizing being with a woman to the point of stupidity. So my response was "Well, whether I'm gay, straight, into monkeys, or dating the manager; I am happy with whatever you project over onto me." The lady that asked just gave me a baffled look and said "yeah, your gay because you're dodging it." So from that moment on, I was known as the cool lesbo at work.

When I went to work at Walmart - I found myself flirting with another cashier that was a known bi-sexual. To me at that point, I was just having fun with the chase. After I went to work at Tyson, that's when I really started coming out as gay. It was also during this time I had my first serious gf and needless to say it was the best relationship i've had on a human level. It ended ok, but I was still sad that it did.

Now with my recent conversion to Christianity, I am having second thoughts about this sexuality. To me, I feel vulnerable but yet somehow strengthened.

So in the end, I don't think there was any particular or specific moment where I realized I was gay. I think it had just been seething beneath the surface and it's quietly worked its way to the top.

As for the fear, my family knows but they are in denial and it's never discussed. I feel like I cannot discuss anything with them. I can't talk about my sexuality issues nor can I discuss religion with them so I feel like I really have nowhere to go.

Fortunately I have one friend who seems to try to be understanding - but I find ourselves drifting apart which is scary you know? It's like I'm losing the one good friend I have around here. I just wish I could find a stable and constant relationship that's good. Sadly, that doesn't seem like it's going to happen.

SkullChick · 08-27-2011, 02:28 PM

Wirelessly posted

yeah its tough

deafdyke · 08-27-2011, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dixie

.

Now with my recent conversion to Christianity, I am having second thoughts about this sexuality. To me, I feel vulnerable but yet somehow strengthened.

.

.

Dixie, you can be Christian and gay. The two are not incomptible. The only ones who think that sort of set up is incompatible are conservative Christians. There are tons of gay Christians and even gay churches (Unitarian, MCC and lots and lots of GLB friendly churches)

**Lissa** · 09-06-2011, 02:59 PM

I have seriously no idea.......... I've had two real boyfriends, one of them was a faker all the way through. But the problem is, I never feel anything for anybody, let it be male or women. My first love though, I absolutely loved him.

jsolo155 · 11-07-2011, 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuciaDisturbed

I realized I liked girls when I was 15 and even had sex with another girl at that age. I came out to my best friend when I was 16. I was with a guy for 4 years but we broke up last year and I am glad we broke up because it wasn't a great relationship and I was replused at the thought of giving him oral sex and I thought dicks are gross. I am single but looking for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. I think women's bodies are much more beautiful and more graceful. Dicks are so gross and ugly to look at and I don't know why I was with my ex for so long. I am a lesbian and have known since I was 15 and my best friend noticed lesbian tendencies in me as early as 12 years old. I am out to most people and to my mom's side of the family and to my aunt on my dad's side of the family. I am proud to be a lesbian. There is no shame in being gay/lesbian.

I think the same way, guys junk is gross and awkward looking. Its really not that girly nether regions are much more attractive, but the rest of a female is amazing!

Krissy · 11-08-2011, 03:06 AM

This may sound horrible but I remember when I as around 6 years old seeing lesbians on the TV made me feel sick and I refused to be in the same room with them on the TV, I didn't like it
But that's probably because eventhough I didn't understand different sexualities at the time I knew I wasn't straight and because kids generally are only teached about different sex couples it was a confusing time for me
When I was 9 years old onwards I knew that I was bisexual, but I didn't even know the term bisexual
Me and my friends would "practise" kissing.. lol odd I know
But I liked being that close to them
I realised when fully when I was around 14 that I wasn't straight, by then I knew about different sexualities and that it's fine to be them, I knew people who weren't straight, and my brother is gay, which I found out when I was around 8 years old
I didn't tell my mother until I was 17 (ish) but that's because I've never been in a relationship with a girl, so didn't find it relevant to mention, but at the same time it felt like I was lying in a sense.
Thankfully my family are fine with it..although only my mother and sister / one of my nieces know
I don't hide it from people now that I'm sure, as far as I'm concerned it's not a big deal, but there seems to be a lot of people that think differently

kipourgos · 01-02-2012, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Krissy

This may sound horrible but I remember when I as around 6 years old seeing lesbians on the TV made me feel sick and I refused to be in the same room with them on the TV, I didn't like it

Well, when you think about it, it's not so unusual. Most straight boys go through their long "Girls, yuck!" phase when they're kids, and when they see men and women kissing on TV they are pretty weirded out by it!

ladysolitary85 · 07-29-2012, 03:57 AM

Wirelessly posted

Some people spend years not knowing, its all about your comfort. Which do you feel comfortable with on a physical and emotional level? Do you find one or the other more or less attractive? The best way to know for sure is to explore. If you dont then you will never really know.

caz12 · 07-29-2012, 04:05 AM

my husband is gay he told me 29yrs into our marriage i was furious,it meant he never been true to himself and certainly not true to me...we stay together for childrens sakes but live totally different lives,we said would not humiliate each other so he meets his friends on his own or when i away and i met my friends(the loving type)when he not here,but he likes my friend they talk footy,very serreal when we all together.strangly enough my son who thought it was cool having gay dad is not so cool about me having sexual relationships

rockin'robin · 07-29-2012, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caz12

my husband is gay he told me 29yrs into our marriage i was furious,it meant he never been true to himself and certainly not true to me...we stay together for childrens sakes but live totally different lives,we said would not humiliate each other so he meets his friends on his own or when i away and i met my friends(the loving type)when he not here,but he likes my friend they talk footy,very serreal when we all together.strangly enough my son who thought it was cool having gay dad is not so cool about me having sexual relationships

How old are ur children?....And it's very hard reading ur story, CAZ12....Dunno if I could forgive a partner who had lied to me for 29 years....Seems it would be a very severe blow to ur own self-esteem.....

It happened to several friends of mine too. They got a divorse, but took quite a while to be able to move on with their lives.

08-17-2011, 07:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted I have question for you guys, how did you know you were gay/lesbian/bisexual mainly because I've always been curious about girls but never pursuit it because at the end I want to be married to guy so I can have kids (2 genes into one child instead of semen from other guy and cant have other female genes) and also I cant get past the yike/super taboo about doing sexual stuff to other girl even though I'm completely cool about other people preference, even had alot of glbt friends so how did you know and get past the fear? __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-17-2011, 08:04 PM	#3 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted noticed but decided to ignored girl since 14 and became boy crazy since 6th grade had hundreds of boy crushes but only 2 bfs and one I was engaged to but ended almost 2 weeks ago, and only had 2 girl crushes and never done or thought further about it. __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-19-2011, 09:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
LuciaDisturbed Registered User Join Date: May 2006 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 7,733	I realized I liked girls when I was 15 and even had sex with another girl at that age. I came out to my best friend when I was 16. I was with a guy for 4 years but we broke up last year and I am glad we broke up because it wasn't a great relationship and I was replused at the thought of giving him oral sex and I thought dicks are gross. I am single but looking for a woman to spend the rest of my life with. I think women's bodies are much more beautiful and more graceful. Dicks are so gross and ugly to look at and I don't know why I was with my ex for so long. I am a lesbian and have known since I was 15 and my best friend noticed lesbian tendencies in me as early as 12 years old. I am out to most people and to my mom's side of the family and to my aunt on my dad's side of the family. I am proud to be a lesbian. There is no shame in being gay/lesbian. ladysolitary85 and Ildri like this. __________________ "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - Philosopher George Santayana. Implanted left ear 10/11/06, activated 10/16/06 - Nucleus Freedom My own CI experience, my views on CI and ASL and Deaf Culture and Society DeviantArt

08-20-2011, 09:30 PM	#7 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted you think penis is beautiful? lmao I always thought its weird and the balls is so ugly and vagina is not a big deal sometimes ugly, sometimes weird looking sometimes normal. and I also HATE giving bj it taste nasty even if guy just came out of shower and the semen taste horrible! sorry men __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-27-2011, 01:42 AM	#9 (permalink)
Dixie May I be found in Him Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Arkansas Posts: 13,266	This is a good question. For years I questioned. I remember having girl crushes from a very young age. By high school I was toying with the idea of going all the way with another girl in my head but I never told anyone because of the fear. Well, I ended up getting knocked up by a guy in college and so I dropped out to marry him and have my DD. That marriage lasted only 18 months before we were officially divorced in the State of Arkansas. It was a really abusive relationship. After that ended I told myself, "Never again." Well about 6 months after the divorce I got involved with a woman and I liked it. It ended on a sour note, but in the long run I'm glad it ended. It was going to be a bad relationship if we were going to continue. Then I a dated a guy for about two years. I had no intentions of marrying him, but why we even stayed together is beyond me. I think he was just holding on while I was trying to move on. That ended quietly. We just both drifted apart. Then I started finding myself fantasizing about going all the way with a woman. Almost obsessing over it really. It was a messed up thought pattern I think. I never told anyone, never mentioned it, never gave away any indication of it outwardly although my thoughts were consumed with it. Then one day the question was popped to me at work "Are you gay?" At that moment I thought - well crap if it's oozing off of me then I must be gay. I mean I have been fantasizing being with a woman to the point of stupidity. So my response was "Well, whether I'm gay, straight, into monkeys, or dating the manager; I am happy with whatever you project over onto me." The lady that asked just gave me a baffled look and said "yeah, your gay because you're dodging it." So from that moment on, I was known as the cool lesbo at work. When I went to work at Walmart - I found myself flirting with another cashier that was a known bi-sexual. To me at that point, I was just having fun with the chase. After I went to work at Tyson, that's when I really started coming out as gay. It was also during this time I had my first serious gf and needless to say it was the best relationship i've had on a human level. It ended ok, but I was still sad that it did. Now with my recent conversion to Christianity, I am having second thoughts about this sexuality. To me, I feel vulnerable but yet somehow strengthened. So in the end, I don't think there was any particular or specific moment where I realized I was gay. I think it had just been seething beneath the surface and it's quietly worked its way to the top. As for the fear, my family knows but they are in denial and it's never discussed. I feel like I cannot discuss anything with them. I can't talk about my sexuality issues nor can I discuss religion with them so I feel like I really have nowhere to go. Fortunately I have one friend who seems to try to be understanding - but I find ourselves drifting apart which is scary you know? It's like I'm losing the one good friend I have around here. I just wish I could find a stable and constant relationship that's good. Sadly, that doesn't seem like it's going to happen. __________________ Oh, you will. It is all a dream and since matter cannot be created nor destroyed, the dreams must be real in all their myriad forms. -Beowulf This Delicate Thing God Has Made *The world is measured in peasants; smaller than a unicorn but, bigger than a tidbit!*

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08-19-2011, 12:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
Mizzou Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: somewhere in Missouri Posts: 2,687	I used to be "think" straight with girl when I was young but I dated my former boyfriend in high school because I would marry him and have kids. When graduated high school and our relationship faded. I never know who I am till I met frist former girlfriend. In my 7th years with partner and am transman.

08-27-2011, 02:28 PM	#10 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted yeah its tough __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

09-06-2011, 02:59 PM	#12 (permalink)
Lissa Premium Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 4,296 Blog Entries: 1	I have seriously no idea.......... I've had two real boyfriends, one of them was a faker all the way through. But the problem is, I never feel anything for anybody, let it be male or women. My first love though, I absolutely loved him. __________________ lissa, 23, profound bilateral sensorineural hearing loss. http://bioniclissa.blogspot.co.uk/

11-08-2011, 03:06 AM	#14 (permalink)
Krissy Registered User Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Manchester Posts: 243	This may sound horrible but I remember when I as around 6 years old seeing lesbians on the TV made me feel sick and I refused to be in the same room with them on the TV, I didn't like it But that's probably because eventhough I didn't understand different sexualities at the time I knew I wasn't straight and because kids generally are only teached about different sex couples it was a confusing time for me When I was 9 years old onwards I knew that I was bisexual, but I didn't even know the term bisexual Me and my friends would "practise" kissing.. lol odd I know But I liked being that close to them I realised when fully when I was around 14 that I wasn't straight, by then I knew about different sexualities and that it's fine to be them, I knew people who weren't straight, and my brother is gay, which I found out when I was around 8 years old I didn't tell my mother until I was 17 (ish) but that's because I've never been in a relationship with a girl, so didn't find it relevant to mention, but at the same time it felt like I was lying in a sense. Thankfully my family are fine with it..although only my mother and sister / one of my nieces know I don't hide it from people now that I'm sure, as far as I'm concerned it's not a big deal, but there seems to be a lot of people that think differently

07-29-2012, 03:57 AM	#16 (permalink)
ladysolitary85 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: CA Posts: 1,509	Wirelessly posted Some people spend years not knowing, its all about your comfort. Which do you feel comfortable with on a physical and emotional level? Do you find one or the other more or less attractive? The best way to know for sure is to explore. If you dont then you will never really know. __________________ Severe loss in left Profound loss in right

07-29-2012, 04:05 AM	#17 (permalink)
caz12 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 2,806	my husband is gay he told me 29yrs into our marriage i was furious,it meant he never been true to himself and certainly not true to me...we stay together for childrens sakes but live totally different lives,we said would not humiliate each other so he meets his friends on his own or when i away and i met my friends(the loving type)when he not here,but he likes my friend they talk footy,very serreal when we all together.strangly enough my son who thought it was cool having gay dad is not so cool about me having sexual relationships

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