LuciaDisturbed

How old were you when you first suspected you might be gay or lesbian and how old were you when you came out of the closet?

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"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - Philosopher George Santayana.


Implanted left ear 10/11/06, activated 10/16/06 - Nucleus Freedom

My own CI experience, my views on CI and ASL and Deaf Culture and Society

DeviantArt

Deafness

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LuciaDisturbed

I was 12 when I began having lesbian tendencies without realizing it at all. I was 15 when I first suspected I might be lesbian and 16 when I came out to my best friend only and I was 17 when I came out of the closet at school and to all my friends. I didn't know I had lesbian tendencies until I came out to my best friend at 16 and she said "oh yeah, I remember you had lesbian tendencies in the 7th grade" and I was shocked but it did make sense when I recalled my life in the 7th grade. I would hang out with my best friend all the time because I could relate to her before she came out of the closet before I left WSD temporarily and then later on I heard gossip about her being a lesbian and it made me happy and when I came back to WSD at 16 years old I began hanging out with her all the time and that's when I came out to her in the privacy of the school bathroom. My parents still doesn't know because they are super religious but my paternal aunt and my maternal uncle and my maternal grandma knows and they have accepted me for who and what I am. I have two older distant cousins in Florida who are lesbians too. I am a dyke and I am damn proud of it!

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"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - Philosopher George Santayana.


Implanted left ear 10/11/06, activated 10/16/06 - Nucleus Freedom

My own CI experience, my views on CI and ASL and Deaf Culture and Society

DeviantArt

DeafCaroline

My best friend is a lesbian and i was the first person she came out when we were 19. She was stunned by my reaction for when she told me, I looked at her and said "duh, I've known for years." We're still best friends to this day.

LuciaDisturbed

That's awesome that she trusted you and that you both are best friends!

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"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." - Philosopher George Santayana.


Implanted left ear 10/11/06, activated 10/16/06 - Nucleus Freedom

My own CI experience, my views on CI and ASL and Deaf Culture and Society

DeviantArt

Mizzou

Mine don't come out till 26 but I already know who I am since 3 years old....

Smithtr

my best friends have gay on I know Vancouver!

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dogmom

Suspected some additional "difference" in middle school but nothing more than that. I was about 17 when I actually had enough knowledge I had a name <bisexuality> for it; came out to first person a year later in college. That person was actually my previous high school homeroom teacher who was very non-judgemental/patient - she was one of two LD teachers at my small arts high school.
Was out to the majority of people by the time I was in my 20's.
Currently out to everyone in my family and all I consider friends/acquaintances - all the people I know and enjoy spending time with are very open or Left-leaning.

deafdyke

OMG, i can't believe it's been 16 years. Anyway, I was fifteen at a hearing summer camp. I fell in love with my best friend. The love at this camp was intense. Like you could love a straight girl, and be straight...and it was OK.
I remember my first love got an award. I walked up to her to give her a hug, and she kissed me...like a big wet smacky kiss right on the cheek. I remember staggering backwards thinking " OMG, that feels GOOD! OMG I love my friend...OMG I like girls?!?!" I remember walking back to my cabin in a daze, and I also remember my counselor going " you look happy" when she was giving us our goodnight hugs.
HAHAHAHAHAH.....I remember at camp, picking up that a lot of girls were gay...there were at least 8 of us who turned out to be not too straight. Bear in mind I was an out of it doofus socially back then.
I also remember at college a lot of my friends told me they knew I liked girls before I came out.

Dixie

I was probably 7 or 8 when I realized that I was different somehow aside from deafness. I think by the time I graduated I had realized that I was gay, but was afraid to admit it. I got married, had a crappy relationship at best, and after my divorce I realized I was gay, but I was living my life with one foot out of the closet. It was kind of weird because I never actually admitted I was gay to anyone particular person until I was finally going out with a girl friend that was steady for about a year. After that, I was like, yeah OK, this is nice because this is the first respectful relationship I was ever in. We loved each other, but with myself staying so busy she broke it off because she felt like I wasn't able to give her enough time.

Ironically, it wasn't until after we had broken up that I started officially coming out to whoever asked. Ironically, coming out to my friends wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. At one point in time, I had actually considered just posting a small blurb on Facebook that would have been simple: "I'm gay."

But however, that seems to be changing because God has been working in my life recently. I have decided to become a Christian and that this homosexuality is a burden to be carried and eventually the desire will end. This doesn't mean that I am homophobic, it just means that I feel like being gay isn't right for me and my beliefs. The desire hasn't gone away over night, but I just still feel like it's not right for me. I also find myself getting upset when I hear someone bashing homosexuals. They are just as human as myself. When you judge a person's sexuality - you're judging their feelings, their emotions, the way they see themselves, and the way they live. I don't like it when people use the Bible to condemn and degrade homosexuals. I also don't like it when I hear of a student being bullied because he/she is gay or he/she is perceived as being gay by their peers. There is a better way. I just love homosexuals the way I would love anyone else. It's not my place to judge, but it is my place to show them love and understanding because I have been there and I know what they are going through.

If anyone wants to talk - feel free to PM me.

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MichaelS

1) beginning of high school 2) beginning of college to some people, end of college to others.

ibazly

Obviously whe nyou're a child you don't necessarily have LABELS for these things, but I pretty much always can remember having some sort of attraction to guys, but didn't really start to consider what it might be until I was 12. Started coming out to friends at 13 and family at 15.

In fact, my childhood attractions are part of the reason why I've always wanted to learn ASL. When I was 10 there was a boy at summer camp with me who was deaf. Even though I didn't know ASL we sort of figured out our own way of communicating, so if his interpreter needed to step away for a bit or something it didn't matter. I definitely realized at the time that I had a HUGE crush on him, but didn't at all understand what the feeling was. I always wonder if he was feeling the same way too haha.

webexplorer

That is interesting. I can't figure out how to compare your sides between your lifestyle and your previous job. I recalled that you worked at a chicken slaughter factory and a hunting. This is so different, but I can understand that you live in the south in the country. I realized that you had no choice for your survival job - I can understand that. And, it is really nothing wrong with your lifestyle. It's a good experience for you to see the difference in both worlds such as Christian and liberal. I hope that your Bible does not brainwash you in a way. I am aware that there is no Unitarian church in the south. I don't blame you for that as long as you are okay and happy now. Be peace. By the way, I don't believe in hunting for food because we all have the food store already everywhere.

jgdav06

I think I always knew to some extent, even when I was really young... But I never really accepted it or thought about it until I got to college. I pretty much was completely out by the time I finished my first year at University (including to family)... Even after this I never felt a part of the gay community for some reason.. maybe it's just not my thing. The only gay friend I have ever had was a deaf guy who worked with me and is now my best friend.

DJGrace

I guess I always knew I was gay. I thought it was completely normal to like girls right from like the second grade. I was always pretty much one of the boys, my dad says by the age or 2-3 I pretty much grabbed everything blue to wear and such. I didn't actually come out to any friends until I was about 19-20. I never did earlier because I just didn't really care to, I was too preoccupied with Soccer and Skateboarding.

The only person that I came out to that still has a profound affect on me was my high school best friend. We lost touch after we graduated, but about 2 years ago she called me. We talked for hours on end to catch up, and I told her I was gay and that I was dating Alicia. She of course asked me why I didn't say so in high school, and I gave her the same response as I mentioned above. About three short weeks later she passed away two days after my birthday and 18 days after hers. I don't think there is anyone that I could have come out to that would mean more to me than that.

PowerON

not for me but I find it funny after two of them, deaf, were bully on me to saying that I'm gay. After high school, make re-connect thry facebook and they are gay. I choice to not heck on them.

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BecksTheTealady

I guess I always knew that I'm gay. It all started when I was in junior school that I dreamt about girls but didn't really think about it (I didn't even know gay/lesbian words exists) as I was only a young kid enjoying her football. Until high school, I got more curious but kept to myself. At 19, I came out to my friends, at University.

Clairol

Wow, you surprise me! I'd love it if more Christian people thought like you. Instead of blaming and judging other people, you make your own decisions that only concern you.

However, I have to say it's a mystery to me how did God work into your life to tell you to stop being gay? It's abstract to me, but I'm curious and I'll PM you for this.

Mizzou

I am Christian and Gay, too. I belief in God and love is lprecouis to us. Love your neighbor, not your enemy. I am not judging anyone and it is between you and God.

DeafCaroline

My boyfriend, who is pretty much a redneck minus the racist part, left his Baptist church after his pastor launched into an anti-homosexual speech. He got up and left right in the middle of the service and never came back. The reason for this is because a close family member is gay and he didn't appreciate the pastor painting the gays as sick individuals needing God to help them go straight.

Mizzou

I can understand his feeling.

Ildri

I'm bisexual. I've always had crushes on both guys and girls, and actually had my first kiss... on the school playground in elementary school... with a girl. I didn't come out until only a couple of years ago, when I was 22-23 (it took a bit of time to talk to different people). I think part of the reason it took me so long was BECAUSE I was bisexual. While I knew I liked girls, I told myself I couldn't be gay or anything, because I liked guys... and I just ignored it beyond that. Eventually I got to the point where I just said, screw it, this is who I am.

Reactions varied. My mom brushed me off with a "well, but I know you prefer guys" (not true... I think my attractions are about 50/50, but I've dated guys primarily both because it took me so long to accept my bisexuality, and because as a feminine girl, people tend to assume I'm straight. I therefore get more guys approaching me than girls, which frustrates me, to a point). My friends were very accepting, and several told me they'd already known. One female friend told me I'd drunkenly kissed her in high school (I hadn't remembered... whoops!) and another friend (an ex-boyfriend, in fact) just said, "Oh, you're talking about it now?"

khrixmrozh

I have early memories of being different from my two sisters. I was a tom who ran away from makeover plots. Because boys were jerks in junior high, I gravitated toward girls. I'd peep at my gymmates in the locker room. (Ack! I know.) Then in high school, I was a loner. I generally just watched people at lunch while I ate until I went to the library to read pornographic novels that I kept in my locker instead of home. (I was very into sex literature).
In college, I realized that I was bisexual, my preferences at 50/50. I got into a GSA group before I decided to come out to the world. However, my family has no idea. They are ultraMormon after all. I'm thinking of dropping the bomb either Thanksgiving or Christmas. My boyfriend knows and doesn't care. My family don't even know about him either.
Interesting. I'm also out on FB but my family haven't managed to hack in and find out that way. I must have done a good job with blocking and setting up security.
I stay close to six friends, all of whom have knowledge of this fact. Three are bisexual. I'm glad for them.
By the way, I'm now 20. I started coming out at 19.

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Bear

I actually came out in my 30's. It took me a while to realize that I was in love with my best friend. I do remember kissing a girl when I was about 10-12 and I remember I did like it. Now that I know that I am bisexual, I catch myself looking at girls and thinking things like "she has a nice butt, or she has a pretty smile." I grew up in an age where if you were gay or bisexual, you did not admit it to anyone or risk getting beat up. I think it was this taboo on bisexuality and homosexuality that kept me from realizing for so long what I truly was.

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Ildri

Bear, Im glad you feel more comfortable about it now!

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Bear

Ty Ildri

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melindajanet

I'm pansexual and I've basically always known that I'm attracted to multiple genders. Even when I was a kid. Most of my close friends have known my sexuality for quite some time, but I started being REALLY up front about it when I was 21-22. Told my parents when I was 22 (I'm 24 now). I never really needed to tell them because I've always been in long term relationships with men. But when I told my mom she was like, BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW? HAVE YOU HAD SEX WITH A WOMAN? And I had to be like, yep mom, I have. Sooooo uncomfortable.

melindajanet

I've had my sexuality brushed off by many people too; I'm also pretty femme. I'm actually attracted to *more* women than men (number-wise, not my feelings when I'm with someone), but also have pretty much only had serious relationships with men. I think that's because statistically speaking...there are more straight men out there than queer women, so it makes sense that I'd come across more men interested in me than women, and even less so people who identify outside of the gender binary (genderqueer etc.). I hate when people ~don't believe~ my sexuality haha. I always want to be like, "I think I know who I'm attracted to, THANKS FOR YOUR INPUT."

Ildri

Melindajanet:

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"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken" -Oscar Wilde

jsolo155

Ive known since I was a young child. When girls had crushes on boys in school I had secret crushes on girls. I came out at 15, when I started dating a friend of mine.

kipourgos

I had my first sexual dreams when I was about 13, and they left no doubt at all. I came out to my mom at 19. She was really sweet about it; when she asked me how long I'd known an I said "for about 6 years," she said, "I'm so sorry you thought you had to hide it all this time."

The weird thing is, I went back into the closet a couple years later (religion...) and stayed there - with occasional forays out to get certain needs met but always with guilt after - for 13 years. I came back out at about 32, for good!