TXgolfer

Below is a post from another thread. Several members found it offensive. Some did not. My intention here is not to have posters from the other thread rehash the debate here. But rather to gain an understanding of how our GLBT members feel about this comment and others like it.

My intent is not to offend anyone here and I apologize in advance if my thread offends anyone. I am hoping to build a dialog since posters in the other thread are split.

If you posted in the other thread I will ask (although I can't require) that you refrain from posting in this thread as it is intended merely to gain insight from our GLBT members.

In fairness I will not include my thoughts here either.

Here is the post

AllDeaf.com - View Single Post - Health Care to "control the people"

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Deafness

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souggy

Wirelessly posted

No.

But that's because I am stellar at deflecting homosexual jokes when people tease me about me "having the queer eyes."

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TXgolfer

I didn't know you were GLBT.

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Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

naisho

No.

That is my opinion.
The spat is between the two of them, leaving this bias out of the question. Although knowing the poster's background kind of justifies the question. The homosexual reference (imo) is due to a specific line retained in the quote.

Psychology or actually, I think the term is reverse psychology in this case, congregates from reading lines of human behavior stemming from interactions like these. Point above all is that it is the internet though, and often times context can be interpreted differently.

Jiro

no. "Are you gay?" - a valid question.

look at his post. it's not where the line came from but how he SAID it and USED it. It's as if he's using Herbal Essence shampoo

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jillio

In all fairness, in order to make a judgement regarding "offense" one needs to know the context in which the post was made, and the belief system of the individual regarding homosexuality. In other words, "Are you gay?" can be interpreted as an offensive question when asked by someone who is homophobic or intolerant of gay indivicuals. But when asked by someone accepting of, and one who embraces and supports those who live the lifestyle, the question is not offensive at all.

So, the question should actually be: If someone who accepts homosexuality as normal and not deviant asks if you are gay, and you are, would you be offended?

Or...

If you are homophobic and someone asks if you, or someone else is gay, would you be offended?

Unless the 2 situations are phrased in this way, one does not get an accurate answer, as one has asked the question in a completely biased manner in an attempt to get the response they want.

TXgolfer

Thanks for honoring my request.

Are you saying GLBT say things or use things in a certain way? Sounds like a stereotype to me.

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

TXgolfer

Thanks for honoring my request.

It seems someone who claims to be considerate of gay issues would not casually ask if someone were gay.

I will refrain from posting further in this thread and will wait to read the responses from out GLBT members.....After all it is their opinion that counts.

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

jillio

The stereotyping is being created by those intolerant of the GLTB population. Shame that you feel the need to attempt to get their support for your opinion after having expressed so many negative reactions to homosexuality. Isn't that known as two faced and manipulative?

Jiro

that's not an issue here. the issue is the context behind his post. It is meant to offend a certain poster.

example - A bully picking on this boy and performing a "doggy-style" move on him.

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jillio

Right. Knowing that poster's feelings about homosexuality, it was obvious that a homosexual reference would be offensive to him. But only because he is homophobic. And the response I have gotten regarding that indicates that my assessment of only someone who is homophobic being offended by being asked if they were gay is being supported over and over again, not just in the original thread, but here, too.

Hey, Jiro! Remember when you asked me if I was sure I wasn't Korean when we were talking about food we liked? Should I have been offended that you would ask me that, and that you were stereotyping Koreans by the food they eat?

Same difference.

TXgolfer

Dang it....Have to respond to this.

So you are now saying it is ok to use a lifestyle that many cherish in order to pick on a bully?

The question is rhetorical of course since you said it clearly.....obviously our GLBT members are capable of going back to read the entire thread for context. In fact I invite them to.

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

jillio

I have a more appropriate question, and one that is directed at all persons, and not just the GLTB community.

To those who are straight, gay, lesbian, transgender, or bisexual....being well adjusted in your sexuality and comfortable with your identity, are you offended when asks "Are you gay, lesbian, straight, transgender, or bisexual?"

I'll start. I'm straight. I am not offended when asked if I am gay, or any other orientation. But then, I am comfortable with both my own sexuality, and the sexuality of others. I don't see differences as a threat to my idendity. And I think that is the issue here. Some see the question "Are you gay"? as a threatening and offensive thing simply because they are in some way, insecure in their own sexuality and threatened by those who are different in orientation.

jillio

They are not so fixated on the need to be offended by a simple question as to even need to go back and read the entire thread. Seems that you are fixated on the offensiveness of the homosexual. Let it go. It isn't contagious, and they won't try to convert you!

You have gotten several answers from people of varying sexual orientations. All have stated that they would not be offended by the question. Accept that you are wrong in this case, and let it go.

TXgolfer

Mighty defensive......looks like someone is trying to cover for themselves.

But I have confidence in the GLBT community here to see through them.

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

jillio

The GLTB community has already spoken. As has the straight community. Only the homophobic are in any way offended by the question "Are you gay?"

But keep digging that hole for yourself.

It is frustrating when you ask a question you are so sure of and don't get the answer you want or expect, isn't it?

You know, I am offended by someone who has demonstrated definate homophobic tendency and discriminatory and prejudice thinking against gays that comes into a GLTB forum and attempts to manipulate answers from a group they don't even support. It's as if the assumption is being made that GLTB are so out of it that they can easily be maniuplated and used for the purpose of the smart and witty heterosexual. Or as if the GLTB community is not capable of recognizing insincereity and two facedness when it is being presented to them. Now that is offensive.

Beowulf

No, TXgolfer, I wasn't offended. I am straight but I am sure my gay friends wouldn't be offended either. I think they will more likely feel offended that you joked about making threats of physical and emotional violence to a tree.

Tousi

TXGolfer, need a sgt-at-arms? I tell ya, some people.....

saywhatkid

This thread appears to be a blatant troll. Why not simply report the post as offensive? Perhaps you can have the poster removed from the forum. That would be a real coupe for the Conservatives members.

BTW, my sister is a lesbian. I don't find the comment offensive. Not sure she would either.

Now do your duty for the Conservative posse and REPORT THE OFFENSIVE POST!

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shel90

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rockdrummer

All I see is a lot of pent up sexual tension between the two posters in this particular case.

shel90

And it is about to EXPLODE in a messy white mass!

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TXgolfer

I specifically asked that it not be

I requested a fresh perspective from those to whom it would matter most. Obviously by posting without my opinion I was willing to accept either outcome. Some chose to be defensive and hijack the thread before anyone could voice their opinion. Oh well. I tried.

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

rockdrummer

I think the comparison of Kokonut being gay offends the gay community more than anything else.

souggy

Wirelessly posted

No, I am not a homosexual, but people have accused me of being too metro, too snobby or too fancy-- and combine those accusations with the fact hearing men are not comfortable with a low-vision deaf/hard-of-hearing male individual lipreading in close-quarter, to the point where it violates the sighted's privacy bubble, "he got the queer eyes" gets thrown around a lot in a bigoted region.

I used to take offense to homosexual humour, until a few bisexuals and lesbians pointed out by being offended, I am actually insecure about and am questioning my own sexuality. So, now if someone accuse me of being gay, I deliberately act gay toward them, even if I am not-- I don't do this to homosexuals or bisexuals though-- unless they are the anti-GLBT, in-the-closet gays.

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TXgolfer

Perhaps I should clarify. I am not asking if being asked if you are gay is offensive.

I am asking
1) Is it offensive that a person who claims to support the gay community would flippantly ask someone if they were gay for the point of attacking that person?

2) If asking a male if they are gay because they quoted "The Wizard of OZ" hints of an offensive/insensitive stereotype? Especially when asked by someone who claims to support the GLBT community?

To me it's not about the effects on the poster she was asking, but rather the effects on the GLBT community by the flippant manner in which she used the GLBT preference as a way of insulting someone. And stereotyping men who watched "The Wizard of Oz" as gay. There are many big strong football playing gay men out there too ya know.

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul

saywhatkid

Perhaps. Based on my experiences, a majority of GLBT are Liberals. Maybe they don't really feel inclined to become part of a research project conducted by a Conservative. Anyhow, it appears you have gotten responses mostly from the usual suspects. So it goes.

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DJGrace

This pretty much sums up how I feel about this. I have not read the thread in reference, and maybe I will later. I have my own formed opinion about TXgolfer from his posts in the gay marriage threads, and gays in the military showers thread. Also, from the way he has picked on AD members of the GLBT community in the past. I won't get into specifics. But I pretty much feel the same as what Jillio posted. I think it's a lil ironic.

DJGrace

Oh, and I totally think this is trolling and pot stirring.

TXgolfer

Sorry you feel that way.....Thread is not about me though.

To clarify my positions the poster referred to

Marriage

I support civil unions but see no necessity for marriage....for anyone gay or straight. I was asked by my gay friend if I would be in her wedding if I she got married and I said yes, as long as it wasn't in a church. That is where I draw the line.

Judge in Boston rules federal ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional

Military
I have no problem with gays in the Military. I don't think a position should be taken on DADT by politicians. I believe that decision should be left up to the military brass. If the brass says revoking DADT will not affect morale I am all for revoking it. When it comes to the military I am for a trained focused group accomplishing a mission. I don't care who is carrying the guns.

DOD Asks: How Would You Feel Showering With Gays?


Real controversial.

But enough about me.

__________________
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21


Sometimes at night, I see their faces. I feel the traces they've left on my soul