AquaBlue

Now I need to be certain that the following question does not insult any sensitive same-sex individual - that is not my intent. This is important to understand and know.

Now as a hetrosexual man I do could not understand the homosexual lifestyle simple because I am not a hetrosexual. So all I can do is ask: Are homosexuals normally born homosexual or do some become homosexual as a lifestyle choice?

Again since I am not homosexual myself I could not know this answer. Please note that I do not have any negative or anti-gay intension when asking this question. I just want to be in the know. Thanks you kindly.

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Jiro

cool thread. good for people who are curious too but afraid to ask. I appreciate your sensitivity.

the answer is either one.

My friend was born homosexual. Nothing wrong with that.

My other friend became homosexual by lifestyle choice at a much later age because of his shitty luck with women. He's a much happier man now. Nothing wrong with that either.

I support them and they're my good friends.

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AquaBlue

Okay then so are the majority of homosexual men and women born gay or live the lifestyle as not being born homosexual?

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AquaBlue

Now I ask this question in this forum because I have noted that, unlike the hearing world, deaf homosexuals are much more open about their sexual orientation that that of hearing folks. So that is why I ask my question on this forum.

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Jiro

I don't know. You'll have to ask them and they're not afraid to answer your question as long as you keep an open mind.

Most of my gay friends - I know how they become gay. I'd say it's 50-50 - some born gay, some became gay by choice.

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Jiro

really? interesting.

For me, same thing - both hearie and deafie. Maybe deaf gay people are more comfortable opening up to deafie than hearie because of communication issue?

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AquaBlue

Maybe I need to get out more.

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Jiro

no. more like - you should try hanging out at gay places

and keep an open mind. don't be afraid to ask because they know. they've dealt with it from their family/friends/etc.

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AquaBlue

Oh I am a cool chap. No need to be concerned. I am highly respectful and sensitive.

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Jiro

no need to tell me that. I already know based on your posts

btw - welcome back to AD. it's been a while! lemme guess - you blacked out again? lol bad joke.

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AquaBlue

I stop, sadly enough, signing for the simple fact that I do not know one single deaf person to sign with. I mean, books and DVDs can only teach you so much. Application of the language is the key toward fluency. So today, I stand in between my lessons and becoming a welcomed hearie in the Deaf culture. Oh how much I hope to meet, at least one, deaf person and develop friendships in that beautiful culture. It's a frustration for me truly.

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AquaBlue

What? No replies?

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EyesBlueDeaf

I was already a lesbian before i was born !

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PowerON

make no sense. :confuse:

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dogmom

Aqua I appreciate that you are just honestly questioning-

the majority of people I know in the GLBTQ <gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/queer community believe we have always been whatever we identify with in our hearts or deep down - that is, most of us are born that way and one doesn't "become" anything. Now that doesn't mean every single person but most of the folks I know, including myself as bisexual. Most of the time it is not a choice, because being "not straight" and/or living in a relationship where one's partner is of the same sex or gender as you, is actually very difficult in most areas and one is subject to different or hurtful treatment even by "authorities", so I believe the idea of "lifestyle" or "choice" is inaccurate. Now some trans folks "choose" to eventually embrace who they believe they actually are and undergo the process to be the correct gender for them. But one could say they're "choosing" the process, not the identity or the idea of being transgender or intersex or queer.

TWA

Does it matter?

rockin'robin

Ahh....may I ask a question, pls.?....What are the "signs" of a child/teenager being "gay"?....I've got my suspicions, but again, I'm not really sure. One of my sister's only son is a Transexual.....but then again, being born gay is not genetic, is it?....Perhaps maybe so more by choice?....Are there any signs to be watchful for?....I don't mean treating the person like a "freak"...but just trying to get a better understanding of why gays act they way they do.

Foxrac

Hell no, being gay isn't choice and it was from your mental.

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rolling7

Can I ask a Question too, please. there are actual medical test that can be performed to determin if a person is male or female, even the one hundred years old dead in a grave can be tested to show either male or female. there are test that show, without even seeing the person, if the person is black, white, etc. There are no test, to my knowledge, that prove a person is born straight, gay, trans, etc. So my question to all is: "How can you prove someone is born gay?" I have nothing at all against gays, as I do socialize wtih gays, both deaf and hearies, weekly....I am only looking for a logical conclusion.

EyesBlueDeaf

In simple English, it means I was born as a lesbian.... born that way...

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Foxrac

Only some psychologists can do diagnose with homosexuality and you will be asked to answer many of questions about it, just like OCD, ADD, mood swing, etc.
Homosexuality and psychology - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_d...e=doc&id=28531

Homosexual is not a choice and I had very hard time to convert to straight so numerous time but all thwarted and failed so I decided to accept as bisexual and happy with it.

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CJB

I'm trans. I can tell you what the signs were for me. I thought I was a boy as a kid and finding out I had the "wrong parts" was really depressing to me. I wasn't sporty but I hung out with other boys as one of them. I was naturally tomboyish, viewed myself as male, and nothing made my day more when people "mistook" me for a boy (something my parents weren't so crazy about.) I came out to my parents as a butch lesbian and then a year later as female to male trans.

Everyone is different but for gayness only, the main thing is who your child gets feelings for. It's true some lesbians are more masculine and some gay guys are more feminine, but not all of them are, and some straight girls/boys can sometimes be pretty androgynous, so it's best just to go by who you find your child crushing on. They might not tell you but you can usually figure it out the same way you would with any kid.

Don't forget some people are bisexual or another orientation so they might have "elements" of gay and straight or some other combination thereof.

To answer the original question, the vast majority of gay/lesbian/bi/trans people are biologically GLBTQ. Meaning it's either genetic or some hormones in the uterus or something beyond their control. A minority of people decide that dating the same sex or transitioning is easier for them for whatever reasons, but that becomes tricky territory cause it can sometimes be because they're hiding from some other pain and not being totally honest with themselves. From what I've heard, gender therapists are much less willing to allow the latter category to transition. Honestly, I've never met a gay, bi, trans, or other type of queer person who didn't feel that way for as long as they can remember.

CJB

This is a good point. I'm transgender but I've chosen not to go through with the surgery process for many reasons, including financial and medical. This isn't too uncommon because a lot of people can't afford SRS (it's not covered by insurance and many people don't have insurance) and some people who already have a lot of health issues either don't want to add more to their plate or are advised by medical professionals not to transition.

Jiro

I'm not sure how to describe the sign but it's like this - (to put it crudely) a "fag hand".



well - it's controversial at best but IMO - you can be born gay because of genetic flaw that makes you gay.

but if not, yes you can become gay by choice. It's all about how open you are. It's just like a heterosexual man preferring to date BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) over thin woman.

lol! funny question to ask but I think it's pretty obvious, right?

as TheWriteAlex said - does it matter? everybody (including heterosexual) acts the way they act. They may look eccentric, weirdo, nervous, etc.

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Jiro

ah - CJB. I always forget about transgender but it's a rather complicated issue for me to discuss about. I only know that people don't feel right at some point in their life.

Good thing you're here to explain!

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CJB

I've heard a lot of people gay/bi/some transgender say the same. They always felt different but didn't pinpoint it until later. It's not uncommon for transsexuals to know which sex they identify more with already by age 4 or 5 though. I think because being transsexual is a gender identity whereas gay/bi is a sexual orientation. It takes having crushes and being in relationships to figure out you're gay/bi.

yagazn

I was born gay that way. That's it.

Jiro

but you have a wife

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KristinaB

My old boss changed after a failed marriage. She said she always wondered why she felt different, but being that her father was a prominent physician and very well known, she did not ask. She got married and felt totally repulsed when hubby came into the bathroom to use the toilet while she was brushing teeth. Also said sex with a man was totally disgusting and dirty. She is now in a very comfortable relationship with another lady who mad been married and had 3 children and is now a grandmother.

Another co-worker in the office says he was born gay. He has been in a relationship with the same man for the last 23 years. They are very happy and say they were both born that way, and both very open with their families early on and had a lot of support. I know that's totally unusual I hear, but They had no problems. They travel to North Dakota (10 miles from Canadian border) yearly to visit the partner's family for Christmas.

yagazn

Never wife 4 me.

:fu: