deafskeptic

I'm glad even you don't think you should follow Queen Victoria's example.

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Left ear implanted with Med-El on April 24 2007.
Activated on May 9th.
Upgraded to Opus 2 9/10/2010
Think Pink.
FREE JILLIO!

Deafness

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rolling7

Nope, dont want to play games with you. Especially not "blame the victim"
Yes, do want to educate you. Abusives relationships happen to people who get into a relationship before they know the person fully well. All preventable by waiting a little longer to find out about the persons real character.
This lesson will be on your end-of-the-year test, don't forget it.

Daredevel7

Ahhh... now I just got a bit more of an understanding of your inner workings by this single post. Funny said that you don't want to play "blame the victim." because it seems like you DO tend to blame the victim. You just blamed the abused person because s/he didn't spend enough time getting to know their partner.

A lot of people get divorced after 15-20 years of marriage. You're gonna tell them "well it's your fault because you didn't get to know your partner better before yall got married."? Hmmm......

Are you male or female? Are you married? Are you younger or older? Or are those too personal?

rolling7

Male...divorced since '97..a 29 year marriage... and not in a relationship....63

And you???

Daredevel7

Female... Never married...in a serious relationship.... 28. Nice to meet ya!

Jiro

look away. look away.

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rolling7

My bad! I should have hit the "enter" key 2 or more times for two separate issues.

The first was, I don't play the game.

And the second should have began with a question: "How do abusive relations come about?" Of course, my post above gives my opinion but everyone is welcome to share their thoughts......eventhough (again) we'll be off-topic.

rolling7

28....and in a serious relationship.........that is the best thing I've heard in a long, long, long time. She is really serious about getting to know her partner before taking the next step. Every ADer should be so proud of her.

StSapphire

Heh, this reads the same as mine, with the gender flipped, and you equipped the +2 Gauntlets of... actually, no, deafskeptic would be the one with gauntlets. We'll go with +2 Cloak of the Ages. (I was gonna go with Helm of Wisdom and then remembered that I don't correlate wisdom with age. )

It was a figure of speech. I called it a game, because those who accuse victims of causing their own abuse don't deserve an ounce of serious attention.

I'm sure psychologist jillio will chime in here with her experience on abusive relationships, since I've personally never known anyone while they were in one (only seen the effects it has had afterwards), but you did exactly as predicted, and blamed the victim.

rolling7

Jillo has obviously taught you well.........deflect......deflect....deflect

Second chance for you to express your opinion to the above question.

StSapphire

I'm not deflecting anything, I'm pointing out that my lack of direct experience with it means that I don't know and I'm not going to try and make up crap and pretend like I'm certain it's true.

rolling7

You would not be. Look at me I'm using my 63-year-old heart and brain, which equals life experience. My heart is not tooooooooo good but my brain is as sharp as a tack.
Try it! Just speak from yours.......after all there is no right, no wrong....just a honest opinion
You won't be making up crap.

jillio

Where the hell did I answer my own question? The surviving partner did not die. And yet you claim that no one should ever have sex with more than one partner in their entire life.

You are contradicting yourself. One person with one person for life means never, ever have sex with anyone else no matter what happens until you die.

Dude, you seriously need to get laid. Clean those pipes out.

jillio

You are so very, very, very wrong.

Preventable by just waiting, huh? I really did not think that there was anyone still ignorant enough to attribute abusive relationships to this cause. But I see that there is still one. Thank God the majority of society has moved beyond that.

jillio

It would appear that your 63 year old brain is completely worn out. I would suggest borrowing a younger one.

jillio

That is his repsponse when that 63 year old brain can't figure out what was said.

StSapphire

Yes I would. My experiences have little to nothing to say with why people are abusive in their relationships, so I would just be making stuff up if I tried to field a guess as to why they do it. I don't hold opinions on subjects I'm ignorant of. The minimum I do is try to find experts in a subject and, until I can educate myself, hope that they're right. Unfortunately, there are a lot of subjects I'm ignorant of. The ones I find interesting are the ones I educate myself on.

Actually, I think I understood this specific part, which is why I brought up the abuse issue. He's taking the generic religious position, which is "monogamous with your first, til death do us part". So, dying is a "get to sleep around" (with one more person) card. Gives new meaning to a "serial monogamist" (though maybe only in my head - "serial" always seems like it should be a part of "serial killer" to me).

Hands off mine! I like my brain, and nobody else can have it!

Wait, hang on. I am my brain, so... uh...



I quit at this game. I'm not good enough at it yet.

jillio

Oh, I get it...when my husband died before I had completed my 3rd decade, it gave me free license to slutdom.

StSapphire

Yep. But after you slutted it up with the first guy, you have to kill him off before you can continue slutting around.

missywinks

WTF- you are assuming that she hasn't had sex with her partner yet. Maybe they had sex the first night they met...you never know. Even if she did, I would STILL be proud of her because she is still a person with her own choices. When they have sex does not matter, as long as it is responsible sex. It is up to the individual's choice.

StSapphire

Oh, huh. Didn't read it like that, I thought he was saying "next step" as in getting married.

I forgot about the sex obsession in this thread.

jillio

No problem!

jillio

You know how it is with people that aren't getting any. They think no one else is, either!

jillio

Well, duh! It is a thread about homosexuals. Don't you know that is all their relationships are based on?

StSapphire

I thought it was the hate of Apple Pie.

Daredevel7

This made me LOL.....

I assumed that by "next step", he meant marriage. But.. who knows?!

Thanks for being proud of me even if I shacked up with my partner on the very first night we met!

rolling7

You seriously need to dug your head out of the sand by going back and re-reading my #245 post.
I quote YOU: One person with one person for life means never, ever have sex with anyone else no matter what happens until you die. Those are YOUR words, I did not say any such thing. So you need to quit trying to put words in my mouth.

In the legal world, a contract between two people is in force until one dies.
In my statement of post #245, the relationship between two people having sexual activity with only each other ends with the death of one of the partners. The surviving partner is then released of the obligation of faithfulness and free, if wanted, to seek out a new partner.

By doing so, irresponsible sex, and the consequences of irresponsible sex, is avoided. Now get your head out of the sand and quit being a disservice to everyone.

rolling7

Re-read YOUR last line above. It could easily be mis-interpreted to mean just go out and have sex soon. Which is TOTALLY irresponsible. Once again, stop being a disservice to everyone.

rolling7

In some religious books "to know" can mean sexual relation but I meant "learn the character of the other person. And by "next step", I meant marriage and/or full commitment.

missywinks

EEEKS no. I would like to try my boyfriend out before marriage.

I have a question for you...in your perspective, does learning the character of the other person include kissing, fondling....oral sex (no intercourse)?