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#1 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 15
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Deaf Boyfriend versus Hearing Boyfriend...
I'm deaf and gay (obiviously!) and I had a deaf boyfriend and a hearing boyfriend before. But, I have been wondering lately about which world to have a relationship with - deaf guy or hearing guy? I always feel like it's hard for my hearing ex to understand where I came from (i.e. deaf culture, etc) but there was a great chemistry while I feel opposite with my deaf ex. He understand where I came from, but lack of 'fire' chemistry.
And, it's easier to keep the personal life private if I was w/ a hearing guy. W/ a deaf guy, the personal life isn't private. Y'all know how deaf community can be! I have always wanted to date a CODA guy someday! 2 worlds in one :-p So, which is better to date? Hearing or Deaf? |
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#4 (permalink) |
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Registered User
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exactly. i've dated my fair share of blind and sighted-hearing people alike. they were all different personality wise in their own way. i'm now dating a wonderful hearing-sighted man who i've been seeing for the past 2 years. having said that, i used to date a wonderful totally blind man, but our relationship ended because he started thinking about his ex-girlfriend and couldn't stop so we both agreed that it would be best if we parted ways (even though we still continue to be very good friends).
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#8 (permalink) | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 510
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Quote:
I agree with you about the chemistry level that hearies have there (Mmmmmmm! *wink*), while deafies just "fell flat." I agree wholeheartedly with you about the level of discreetness that hearies and deafies have. That was a lesson I managed to learn the hard way. Deafies just blab, blab, blab their big mouths off with no regard to others' wishes. That's part of why I avoided the deaf community during my college years from 2004 to 2009, and mainly why I created an entirely separate Facebook account exclusively for deafies. I have 414 on the hearie side and 126 on the deafie side. If I haven't had bad experiences at the deaf school to begin with, then the total of friends on Facebook would've been 540. About CODAs, good luck on that! Finding a gay hearing CODA has extremely TINY potential of success. I'm just saying that based on MY own experience. I recommend that you should have a relationship with a hearie guy. If he knows that he'd have to learn a new language and he stays committed to it, then congratulations - that guy is for you.
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~Dr. Emperor |
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#9 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 15
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SnAzZyStyLe2002!
Sweep me up in your arms! :-p but I guess I didn't pass your test since I'm deaf :-p But, that was a great input! Thanks, SnAzZyStyLe2002 :-) would like to talk to you more about your experience if possible? |
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#10 (permalink) | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 510
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Quote:
I'd like to give you my AIM name though.
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~Dr. Emperor |
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#12 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 4,025
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You gotta wait until your posts are over 100. When that happens, you will be able to PM. Sorry, buddy!
__________________
“The problem is not that the (deaf) students do not hear. The problem is that the hearing world does not listen. “- Rev Jesse L. Jackson ( American Civil Rights Activist, Minister) |
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#14 (permalink) |
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Aparecium Deletrius Legil
![]() Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: The Soprano State
Posts: 60,532
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nope. not stupid. just for our own protection because of spammers. call them stupid, not this site
__________________
- Don't forget to buy Jiro's Special Edition Sunglasses for $19.95
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#16 (permalink) |
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Lets ride horses!
![]() Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Spaceship
Posts: 11,170
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Yep!! Just follow your heart!
![]() Good luck!
__________________
![]() ![]() ![]() My journal! http://poochie21.blogspot.com/ ***Enjoy life today, Yesterday has past and Tomorrow may never come.*** |
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#17 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 15
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Oh boy, I guess I'll just shoot myself in foot.... Only for Snazzy.
Here's my aim screen name: xbroncos7x Im not gonna post 50 messages in order to get PM work! :-p Feel free to hit me up tho. It'd be nice to make new friends! |
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#20 (permalink) | |
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 8,941
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Quote:
Secondly--I recommend that you have a relationship with a guy that treats you with love and respect--deaf or hearing. |
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#21 (permalink) | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 510
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Quote:
Secondly, I don't want deaf guys - did you not read the part about the reasons I gave? In the deaf world, your personal life is not private. I learned this the hard, cruel way after 6 years of experience in the deaf world. I did want a deaf bf, but after realizing over time that the deaf guy has to be discreet and not blab about my personal life, I turned around and faced the cold hard facts, and must I repeat them: "In the deaf world, your personal life isn't private." But thanks for giving me that "tip" anyway - knowing that hearing people like and respect (and perhaps love, someday) me more. Don't twist my words - I know I sound like an asshole, but I'm a nice guy really. I just got tired of being ****ed over way too many times in the deaf community - and whose faults were they? Not mine, that's for sure. Sorry, but that's how things are going now and for the foreseeable future. I complement OrangeOreo on this.
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~Dr. Emperor |
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#22 (permalink) | |
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Banned
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 8,941
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Quote:
If you don't allow it--you'll be a better person and not full of animosity towards your peers. |
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#23 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 15
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Man, I'm back! Was gone on a brief vacation and missed all of this heated debate! Is everything allright now?
Snazzy, I got your IM other night but I was asleep! :-( Email might be easier: oreomountain07@yahoo.com yeah, I'm a BIG oreo lover!! |
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#24 (permalink) |
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Let It Snow!!!!
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I have dated both deaf and hearing guys...no difference. There were great guys and then there were assholes.
My current hubby is hearing and knows sign language which is important to me.
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"Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it." --- Anonymous |
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#25 (permalink) |
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Premium Member
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Yes, You're correct.
All new members will not be able to use the PM feature until they have more than 50 posts.
__________________
Isaiah 33:6 - "He will be the sure foundation for your times, a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge; the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure." |
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#26 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: West Virginia
Posts: 21
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The way I look at it...
I've always had hearing boyfriends. None could sign. I'm sure when I meet the right guy he will be more than willing to learn to communicate with me in both worlds, hearing or deaf. Until then, I'm just waiting for the right one and won't settle for any less. |
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#29 (permalink) |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Out of nowhere....
Posts: 2,965
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I can't say which better.
I would date both deaf or hearie but actually I can't date deaf gay guys because It's a small world and you know it can be gossip and make up story like that UGH you know, which I don't want to get involved, yep it's sadly. I can be friend only with deaf gay guys as long as he's not like them like bad gossip. I've dated few deaf guys in the past but not a long term relationship, no. I've dated hearie guys who has no problem with me being hard of hearing and they know signs too. I would go for hearie guys. I know there's some deaf cute guys out there but sadly, I can't date them. Peace out...MWAHHHH Blowin' kisses for Ya! (J/K)
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#30 (permalink) |
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Registered User
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Well... I guess it doesn't really matter...
Communication is a big deal to me, and regardless of deaf or hearing, he must be able to communicate with me on a level that we both understand what is going on... If a relationship has strain on communication, it normally doesn't end very well. Just realized I also forgot that "chemistry" and "compatibility" are equally important, as well... |
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