OrangeOreo

I'm deaf and gay (obiviously!) and I had a deaf boyfriend and a hearing boyfriend before. But, I have been wondering lately about which world to have a relationship with - deaf guy or hearing guy? I always feel like it's hard for my hearing ex to understand where I came from (i.e. deaf culture, etc) but there was a great chemistry while I feel opposite with my deaf ex. He understand where I came from, but lack of 'fire' chemistry.

And, it's easier to keep the personal life private if I was w/ a hearing guy. W/ a deaf guy, the personal life isn't private. Y'all know how deaf community can be!

I have always wanted to date a CODA guy someday! 2 worlds in one :-p

So, which is better to date? Hearing or Deaf?

Deafness

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Jiro

either one. whoever clicks with you better. good luck!

Nika

Neither is better. If you meet a great guy, it won't matter if he's Deaf, hearing, CODA, Deafblind...etc.

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Hear Again

exactly. i've dated my fair share of blind and sighted-hearing people alike. they were all different personality wise in their own way. i'm now dating a wonderful hearing-sighted man who i've been seeing for the past 2 years. having said that, i used to date a wonderful totally blind man, but our relationship ended because he started thinking about his ex-girlfriend and couldn't stop so we both agreed that it would be best if we parted ways (even though we still continue to be very good friends).

SFShawn13

I havent noticed a difference . But I am only deaf in one ear.

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sara1981

i have hearing british boyfriend but he can sign not lots

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moonflower

i never dated deaf men but i did date hearing men that all shrugs

SnAzZyStyLe2002

In my experience, hearies are better. I am an oral deaf guy so I can speak with my voice. Therefore, it's easier for me and the hearie guy to understand each other with little to no problems.

I agree with you about the chemistry level that hearies have there (Mmmmmmm! *wink*), while deafies just "fell flat."

I agree wholeheartedly with you about the level of discreetness that hearies and deafies have. That was a lesson I managed to learn the hard way. Deafies just blab, blab, blab their big mouths off with no regard to others' wishes.

That's part of why I avoided the deaf community during my college years from 2004 to 2009, and mainly why I created an entirely separate Facebook account exclusively for deafies. I have 414 on the hearie side and 126 on the deafie side. If I haven't had bad experiences at the deaf school to begin with, then the total of friends on Facebook would've been 540.

About CODAs, good luck on that! Finding a gay hearing CODA has extremely TINY potential of success. I'm just saying that based on MY own experience.

I recommend that you should have a relationship with a hearie guy. If he knows that he'd have to learn a new language and he stays committed to it, then congratulations - that guy is for you.

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OrangeOreo

SnAzZyStyLe2002!

Sweep me up in your arms! :-p but I guess I didn't pass your test since I'm deaf :-p

But, that was a great input! Thanks, SnAzZyStyLe2002 :-) would like to talk to you more about your experience if possible?

SnAzZyStyLe2002

Sure thing - I'd private-message you, but it appears that your PM is disabled.

I'd like to give you my AIM name though.

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OrangeOreo

I just sent ya a message but I dunno if it gets through? How do I turn my PM on? I can't figure it out.

Buffalo

You gotta wait until your posts are over 100. When that happens, you will be able to PM. Sorry, buddy!

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OrangeOreo

Are you serious?!?!

That's stupid!

Jiro

nope. not stupid. just for our own protection because of spammers. call them stupid, not this site

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Byrdie714

I thought it was 50 posts???

Phillips

Yep!! Just follow your heart!

Good luck!

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OrangeOreo

Oh boy, I guess I'll just shoot myself in foot.... Only for Snazzy.

Here's my aim screen name: xbroncos7x

Im not gonna post 50 messages in order to get PM work! :-p

Feel free to hit me up tho. It'd be nice to make new friends!

Lavender

A. Hearie good at bed. Deaf makes me bored. Hoh's lucky star.

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SnAzZyStyLe2002

^ Roflmao about deaf making you bored. I agree!

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Byrdie714

Question: since the hearing guy understands you, can you understand the hearing guy?

Secondly--I recommend that you have a relationship with a guy that treats you with love and respect--deaf or hearing.

SnAzZyStyLe2002

Firstly, Yes I do understand the hearing guy, but thanks for questioning my ways. I have had 26 years of experience in the hearing world (and I'm 26!) and I grew up orally and used just my voice only when around hearing people - I can hear with hearing aids and can read lips. If I meet a guy and he wants to learn signs, fine with me.

Secondly, I don't want deaf guys - did you not read the part about the reasons I gave? In the deaf world, your personal life is not private. I learned this the hard, cruel way after 6 years of experience in the deaf world. I did want a deaf bf, but after realizing over time that the deaf guy has to be discreet and not blab about my personal life, I turned around and faced the cold hard facts, and must I repeat them: "In the deaf world, your personal life isn't private." But thanks for giving me that "tip" anyway - knowing that hearing people like and respect (and perhaps love, someday) me more.

Don't twist my words - I know I sound like an asshole, but I'm a nice guy really. I just got tired of being ****ed over way too many times in the deaf community - and whose faults were they? Not mine, that's for sure.

Sorry, but that's how things are going now and for the foreseeable future. I complement OrangeOreo on this.

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Byrdie714

Sorry you had a bad experience but remember--if you allow people to "screw you" over--you will get screwed.

If you don't allow it--you'll be a better person and not full of animosity towards your peers.

OrangeOreo

Man, I'm back! Was gone on a brief vacation and missed all of this heated debate! Is everything allright now?

Snazzy, I got your IM other night but I was asleep! :-( Email might be easier: oreomountain07@yahoo.com

yeah, I'm a BIG oreo lover!!

shel90

I have dated both deaf and hearing guys...no difference. There were great guys and then there were assholes.

My current hubby is hearing and knows sign language which is important to me.

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Jolie77

Yes, You're correct.

All new members will not be able to use the PM feature until they have more than 50 posts.

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stcybks

The way I look at it...

I've always had hearing boyfriends. None could sign.

I'm sure when I meet the right guy he will be more than willing to learn to communicate with me in both worlds, hearing or deaf. Until then, I'm just waiting for the right one and won't settle for any less.

Buffalo

Oh, ok.

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ssumma

I'm a hearie, and would date whoever I "click " with or have chemistry with the best. Deaf, blind , hearie, whatever... I don't look for that, just whoever I have the most fun with and good chemisty

yagazn

I can't say which better.

I would date both deaf or hearie but actually I can't date deaf gay guys because It's a small world and you know it can be gossip and make up story like that UGH you know, which I don't want to get involved, yep it's sadly. I can be friend only with deaf gay guys as long as he's not like them like bad gossip. I've dated few deaf guys in the past but not a long term relationship, no.

I've dated hearie guys who has no problem with me being hard of hearing and they know signs too. I would go for hearie guys. I know there's some deaf cute guys out there but sadly, I can't date them.

Peace out...MWAHHHH Blowin' kisses for Ya! (J/K)

bkswva

Well... I guess it doesn't really matter...

Communication is a big deal to me, and regardless of deaf or hearing, he must be able to communicate with me on a level that we both understand what is going on... If a relationship has strain on communication, it normally doesn't end very well.

Just realized I also forgot that "chemistry" and "compatibility" are equally important, as well...