Endy

Unfortunately, I kept running into them again and again in the past. For instance, Deaf gays at Gallaudet University (Oh my GOSH!) and other Deaf organizations and coffee chats. I avoided them at any cost because I did not need their drama. All I can say is that I haven't met a Deaf that is "cool" or drama-free. However, I hope I run into a Deaf guy that I find more attractive. I am much happy with my current crowd, buddies and my lover that is drama-free for a long time. I love the peace and harmony for a long time. It is like Heaven on Earth.

And indeed, I'd love to give it a try to date a Deaf guy, only if he is drama-free. It'd be fantastic and I'd be looking forward to it. That'd be new for me.

Deafness

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SnAzZyStyLe2002

My sentiments, exactly! I avoid the general deaf community, not *just* the deaf GLBT ones, at all costs.

Call me a snob all you like, but that's just what my own observing eyes tell me.

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~Snazzy Style 2002

lemontree

Well, that is most curious about deaf guys being "dramatic" and all.

I think I would keep an open mind, as my experiences with hearing guys have not been positive because they tell me the whole communication too tiresome and they always forget I am deaf. They never learn ASL.

When I remind them they need to face me or be in the light so I can lip-read, or write things down, or ask them what is going on (like when we're in a group of hearing people, or at the game, or at the movies) they just roll their eyes and act like it is a huge deal to repeat stuff, write things out, or explain what is going on.

That's why I thought deaf guys won't be like that. We can sign to each other and we know what it is like being deaf so we understand each other. So that is why it surprised me when I read about deaf guys not being "drama-free" and I was like, "huh, what does that mean?"

Well, anyway, learn a new thing every day, eh?

Byrdie714

Being older and experienced, what I found is that the ones that complain about the Deaf GLBT individuals being "drama queens", are generally the bigger drama queens themselves.

SunnyUsagi

I agree! It doesn't matter as long as there is great communication between you both.

shel90

My thoughts exactly. I have friends who are drama queens but I dont stereotype the deaf community as being problematic cuz of them. There are always going to be people like that in every community.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

xxrobot

I am hearing.

I dated Deaf guy for months, my longest relationship.
I am ASL student, finished ASL 3. Very hard communicate with him.

Very hard learn "Deaf Culture" and how BLUNT Deaf people are. I read him as being rude, but he is signing very "straightforward". I am from English hearing world, where you "cushion" mean thoughts.

I break up with him because I don't like his jokes/personality. I don't understand his jokes. I try to "let him down" softly. I don't want to hurt him but I need to say again and again and I become more rude and blunt every time I try to break up with him because he doesn't understand.

I don't hate him, and I want to remain "friends" as much as we can be, but he hates me and wants me to stop learning sign. He never wants to see me again. I want to continue learning sign and attend local Deaf events.

I went to a local event. He gave me very mean looks, and I felt banished. The event was for ASL not for Deaf only. I think he is making drama. I can't even say hi to my friends.

kipourgos

I'm a hearie, I dated a deaf guy here (Turkey), no complaints about him in bed. I guess deaf people here like to gossip...but I think any time you have a community within a community, where everyone knows everyone, you are going to get that. I ran into an Iranian guy I knew in a gay bar; he was singing there and was completely gay though he said he wasn't. Within a week everyone knew and all my invitations to events dried up. I guess it at least shows us who are real friends are.

deafdyke

Snazzy, on the other hand the hearing community has plenty of drama of its own.

webexplorer

Wow! I can't imagine that. hmm, a BLUNT deaf people - nah, it is not quite true. It does the same thing for both deaf and hearing people. I wouldn't worry about that. It can be funny to see two different sides. Perhaps, the best for you to find another guy whatever you feel comfortable to communicate... Please don't waste your time to deal with him because life is short. Hope that helps.

dark

I agree and indeed it does since ive witnessed, nothing different in between of it:}

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OrangeOreo

Wow, I'm surprised to see that people are still talking about that topic!!

I guess it's time for me to reveal who I am. This is Luke aka the deaf guy from The Amazing Race. I just want to say that I'm appreciate that all of you jumped on and voice your opinion about the dating issue.

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--Orange Oreo

SnAzZyStyLe2002

Ah, I never saw that show.

And, I still stand by my beliefs - hearies are better, for me anyway.

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~Snazzy Style 2002

MoonDrifter

It depends on the person, really. Judging based on one or several "bad" experiences to conclude that everyone else in the same "category" isn't fair to the ones that are not well known yet. We all have our share of good and bad experiences with both deaf and hearing guys and we should not allow the bad experiences to consume our lives. Otherwise life just becomes crappy.

Hearing ability is a part of who the person is, it does not define them.

webexplorer

Surely, you could be a fan of Luke. I don't think that it's you. I don't care.

I would probably say that a deaf is just a small world which is easy to recognize... My opinion is that it would be easier for you to have a deaf guy because of your actions in the shows. Actually, it is really nothing wrong for you to have a hearing guy. But, a communication is an important tool for your long term relationship. Oh boy, I can't imagine that how hard that you went thru around the world. What a great experience in your lifetime! Your mother is great and proud of you! shh! I think that your mother is bossy.

SondheimGeek

I'm HOH, and I don't think it would matter if I dated a deaf guy. If I did, I would most definitely learn sign so that I could communicate with him.

I personally only have had experience with hearing boyfriends, and all have always been patient with me and my hearing.

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Kevin
Bilateral Phonak Certanas
"As we all should probably have learned by now, to be a Stephen Sondheim fan is to have one's heart broken at regular intervals."

sheerwrath

I'm a day too late but really i dont have the energy for dramatic monologues and gossip. i always keep my relationship if not, but most of all private.

i'm deaf naturally (coming from all-deaf family) this is rather strange because i dont need all the run-of-the-mill bullshit, i love perspective so i dont feel quite fit into deaf community, their requirements and needs left me less desired. i think mostly hearing is more compatible for me but i'm all around deaf, so i really can't win can i?

i have some friends are not deaf and sign pretty effective. unfortunately most of them are girls, and either not gay.

sallylou

Take love where you find it. It's too precious to put limits on it.

shel90

So true...life is too short.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

darkangel8603

for me it wouldn't matter whether my mates are deaf or hearing, as long as they can communicate with me well enuf i will be happy.

Kuifje75

There is a difference. With deaf, you can communicate easily. When you are with a hearing partner, there will be some inevitable situations such as family visits, friends, etc... which might leave you bored. As for in the bed, I haven't really noticed any difference.

I have been with a hearing bf for over five years and he signs. The other thing is that the principal language in the house is Vietnamese, so there is another communication gap between me and the family. But we don't make a big deal out of it, and I often get together with my deaf friends for coffee. For me and my bf, it has been pretty effortless on most parts for relationship, just clicked and been great since day one.

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Megvan a repülőjegyem, az útlevelem, kész vagyok az útazásra.

melissa

Well, I'm not a gay man, but I can give my experiences of 'Partner who has XYZ when I also have XYZ, versus one who doesn't'...

It's nice to have someone who understands, whichever way that understanding comes about, so they know how you feel and are supportive. But that doesn't mean that they must have the same aspect in themselves- I have depression, and I've had partners who:

didn't understand depression at all or care- or make any effort to
were depressed themselves but we ended up not helping each other
were depressed but not to the extent that I am, and understood
had never experienced it but cared and tried their best to support me

So - it's my experience that a partner doesn't need to have/be the same as me in regards to something I would like support about- if they are a decent person they will make an effort to understand and help in any way possible. I don't feel the need to say 'I want a partner who has XYZ so they understand me', it's enough to say 'I want a partner who understands me.'

sima1289

blair, i'm actually right with you!

it's strange, but (i've said this in the "turn-ons" thread on here) a guy becomes more attractive to me if he signs, no matter if he's deaf or hearing.

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Pünktchen

you all deafies, who want only with hearies, are right, anyway...
-ugh, its hard to describe it in english, but i'll try-
To say it universally, love-relationshipes base on ... contrasts of each both like magnet with positive and negative pole, anyway... such as some interests, bright people (blond, bright eyes etc.) and dark people (black hairs, dark eyes etc.) If you watch the Southlander (the right word?! or southernes or something) the most of them are into persons with blond hair.
I think, thats the biology way to mix genes much as possible to expand gene pool to erase weak characteristics and to bring out the strong. The species need them to survive in the new world like Darwin said.
That's perhaps the other reason why deafies "want" only hearies or reverse like that quote.

Perhaps it could be the reason for extinction of deaf people too, if each deaf only wants to meet hearies... however. its too complexly.

But it's just my theories at all, very stupid theories, maybe....
im sorry, if i attack your deaf pride, because i said that the characteristic deaf would be weak. Its just my stupid theory.

some deafies are tired of the whole gossip and dramatic Schmarrn, while hearies want to escape the boring hearing world and be like figures in episode-film. It all adds up!

I hope you can understand me in despite of my english and word-choice!

bwright6

I'm deaf and was mainstreamed my whole life. I never even considered the idea of "searching" for a deaf boyfriend- I have had all hearing boyfriends. I have been wanting to date a deaf person because I think we can relate on issues, and communication would be so much easier. My last boyfriend got really tired of helping me out and hated closed captioning. All in all, I want to try dating a deaf guy- but I am not exclusive and will put no limit on it. It is hard to meet a gay and deaf guy here in Cbus. I hear they're swarming at Rochester!

SnAzZyStyLe2002

Sure - and have the Rochester deafies blab about your private life?

Go for it.

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~Snazzy Style 2002

shel90

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

Grummer

no Shel, i agree Deafies do blab they have nothing else to do

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Some people will tell you that slow is good - and it may be, on some days - but I am here to tell you that fast is better. I've always believed this, in spite of the trouble it's caused me. Being shot out of a cannon will always be better than being squeezed out of a tube. That is why God made fast motorcycles.
Hunter S Thompson

shel90

Nice..iam a Deafie and I sure don't fit in thar category. It is the stereotyping that I am rolling my eyes at. Not all Deafies r like that. Maybe the both of you hang out with the wrong people.

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Shel~

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child." -George Santayana

bwright6

To be fair most of the gay guys I've met blab too. They were hearing