rockin'robin

Suppose someone has done something to you that was wrong in your opinion....can you forgive and forget it?...Or do you hold a "grudge"?

Deafness

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Banjo

I forgive and forget provided that the offender takes responsibility for the wrongdoings.

sallylou

It depends on whether the person fully acknowledges the slight and does not continue the behavior in the future. If that happens, it easy to forgive. Otherwise, I would discontinue the relationhip because it's not a healthy one.

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AJWSmith

I always try to forgive, but to forget is impossible if they've really hurt me. If they haven't hurt me that much, then it's easy to forget and there's not much to forgive either.

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howag

Have to agree with AJWSmith. It all depends on what this person has done.

sallylou

Forgiveness is for the peron who gives it. It releases one from the hurt and pain. It's not that it didn't happen, it just enables you to move on with your life. At least, that has been my experience.

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Bottesini

I don't forgive or forget.

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Jiro

very easy. forgive.

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MDCodeRedFreak

I never forgive and forget unless that idiot realizes the wrongdoings.

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Berry

Insufficient data Will Rockin.

Did they deliberately set out to hurt me? Was it a stranger or a friend? Did they, at the time, honestly believe they had cause? Did I really, in fact, suffer damage, or was it only superficial?

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shel90

I would love to forgive but taking my daughter away from me is very hard to forgive.

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KristinaB

I tend to pray about it, then work hard to forgive and work even harder to forget. It all goes in with what I learned during church lessons.

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deafbajagal

The four men who brutally hurt me, nearly killing me, have gotten full forgiveness from me. The moment I forgave them, the process of healing began. I am still dealing with the effects, but my anger is gone (except for the anger I have against myself).

I have not forgiven myself for some things.

And this year, March 1, I need to forgive someone for what happened last March 1. I am going to write all of my anger, resentment, hurt, etc. emotions on paper. Put it inside a balloon before adding helium...and release it. It is bad for the environment, but good for the soul.

deafbajagal

I forgave my father when I was sixteen. Very few people know this story, but it involves a certain white rabbit watching me in the woods. A very powerful and life-changing moment for me.

sallylou

deafbahagirl, you're the one that you need to forgive most of all. To take care of yourself.

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deafskeptic

I can forgive if the offender is willing to take responsibly for actions instead of blaming others. If they don't do that, I will sever the relationship.

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StevieMont927

It depends. Mostly I forgive and move on, but some people who hurt me left such an impact that I can't forget. There are some people who I can't forgive....

Most of that is me. Why couldn't I do this differently, or do that instead, or whatnot. I'm the type of person who tries to give the benefit of the doubt, so I just see where things take me. If someone's wronged me I don't forget, and I'm wary, and I may not trust them again, but mostly I do my best to forgive them. I don't forget though. I'd like to, and I'm missing a huge gap of high school and my childhood, but I've realized that what you go through makes who you are, and I'd rather have all my memories, good and bad, than forget.

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rockin'robin

How true!....It's so hard to do when it comes down to a family member, tho' (sever the relationship)....We all have tried and tried to help...but his repetitive actions and disrespect were too much.

whatdidyousay!

My dad and I where not getting along good and had a fight about me coming too late and I was not talking to my dad. I when out again and came home too late and as I was coming in the house any mother and brother where bring dad to the hospital. My dad dies the next day of a heart attack . I was never able to made up with my dad and to this day I still feel bad about it. My dad dies in 1967 when I was 20 yo. After this happen I learned to forgive my mother for not protecting against my dad abusing me for years. When my beloved mother dies at 93 yo she knew I have forgiven her and it helped lifted some weight from my heart. I could had gone on being angry at my mother but I knew she was not able to stop my dad. And I forgave my mother for not stopping my dad. I did not forget what happen to me but I was able to forgive and I am glad I did.

Angel1989

I definitely forgive. Sometimes when someone is in pain or really depressed they hurt the ones closest to them. I am sorry to say that I have snaped at people when I am really hurting for a long period of time. I always feel so terrible afterwards. I just pray that those who know me have figured me out to the point they know thats not who I am deep down.

lanapoo

I definitely believe in forgiveness... After all, we're human. We all make mistakes.

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TWA

I forgive. Never forget.

JanatheShort

I generally forgive... but I don't believe forgiveness means I have to let that person be in a position to hurt me again. If someone hurts me, takes responsibility and truly seems sorry, I almost always give them another chance. If, however, the person doesn't seem sorry, doesn't take responsibility, does the same thing over and over, or does something I consider too bad for another chance (like the person who got angry and told me I'm infertile because I wasn't trying hard enough to get pregnant...) I may forgive after a lot of prayer, angry note writing, and so on... but to get close to me again? Oh hell no!!!!

I learn from my mistakes.

nickysunflower

I Forgive. It is not hard for me to forgive, but sometimes it is hard to forget. We all need forgiveness for things.

saywhatkid

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned."

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Banjo

Ditto.

TXgolfer

Funny this thread came up today. I just severed a family relationship exactly 3 hours and 56 minutes ago. A big one too.

Like TWA....I forgive but rarely forget. This person is forgiven...but be gone.


Edit....after checking, less than 10 minutes after this thread started.

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Oceanbreeze

I'm a forgive but never forget person usually, but with my Dad's death approaching, I'm seriously re-thinking this.

For now, let's say I'm on the fence leaning towards it's better to forgive and not hold any grudges or have regrets. Forgiving and forgetting are two entirely different things and need to be handled separately and in one's own time; depending on the nature of the wrong that was done.

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AlleyCat

I feel like I have in me a big heart to forgive. I can go on with that person the very next day. Forget? Not as easily said and done. The mind doesn't unsee and undo. Trust is something to be rebuilt with what you are forgiving and forgetting. But if you let the unforgotten consume you, then that consumes you in the end. Choose your battles wisely.

Grayma

My husband says holding on to a grudge is like you drinking poison and expecting the other guy to get sick from it.

I would like to be a forgive and forget person, but I have a good memory for some things and even when I forgive, I can't erase them from memory.