cant sleep too depressed

SkullChick · 08-27-2011, 11:49 PM

Wirelessly posted

when will this feeling go away? It hasn't changed a bit since the engagement ended 3 weeks ago I still feel like black blob, not even human cuz I'm not capable of love like show love and affection to other (esp to my ex fiance) I still feel like my future is big empty of nothing and waste of time I truly believe that my ex fiance is "the one" and I failed as human to have normal life, get married and have babies after graduation now I lost him all that future is gone I do not want anything anymore I dont find anyone attractive and I dont want to be in relationship with anyone and marriage and children is out of question with anyone else its like eating rotten meat, the idea is replusive. I still cry to sleep at bedtime I still dont think life is worth living since I failed as human and things normally given to people in life I got and lost it so its like now what? theres nothing now and no matter what people say to me "it'll get better" "you'll find someone" "you didnt fail as human" whatever I still feel exactly the same

kristy2078 · 08-28-2011, 12:39 AM

Seek out therapy.

Miss-Delectable · 08-28-2011, 01:29 AM

Sorry to hear your engagement's ended.

Talk to a therapist, it might help, but only if you had an open mind, and willing to work thru it.

**Smithtr** · 08-28-2011, 02:03 AM

sorry hear your bad on happened screw up It is very terrible sad!

ladysolitary85 · 08-28-2011, 02:31 AM

Hun, its not that you failed, its not your fault and its not that you weren't good enough... it was just he wasn't. I know what you feel and its hard but if its meant to be it will be. Hope you feel better soon!

Babyblue · 08-28-2011, 05:49 AM

As much as you hate this... I know it has been said to you over and over again.. Time will heal. As much as you do not believe it right now. It will... Right now it is good that you are venting out and expressing your feelings. Like others suggested. Perhaps it is time for you to seek out help, talk to a therapist.

I have been in your shoes once.... It will get better..

SkullChick · 08-28-2011, 07:22 AM

Wirelessly posted

during the day time I'm okay getting through the day but when it come to bed time it come all crashing down and its worst feeling ever and cant help but cry and grieves over loss. I do have depression I'm on antidepressant for over 2 years honestly I dont think therapy will do much good because I know what he or she would say and I just need to talk my feeling out on alldeaf or friends to get it out of my head

radioman · 08-28-2011, 07:26 AM

all I can say is time will heal. you will know you feel better when you meet a new guy.

**Bottesini** · 08-28-2011, 08:35 AM

I am sorry. It can still help to talk to a therapist. And tell them exactly how sad you are. They may be able to adjust your depression medicine to help you get through this.

SkullChick · 08-28-2011, 09:02 AM

Wirelessly posted

my primary physician said if he increase my dose and I'll be like zombie and its better to still feel little sad than no emotion at all

CSign · 08-28-2011, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

my primary physician said if he increase my dose and I'll be like zombie and its better to still feel little sad than no emotion at all

Your doctor is right. You have to learn how to work through your emotions, or you won't be any good for yourself. Going to see a therapist during this time might help you learn how to deal with these feelings and emotions. Feeling sad about a break- up is to be expected. There is nothing wrong with that. It's how you deal with the sadness that can make or break the situation.

I understand it's difficult, but as others have said time really does heal all wounds. The right person is out there for you, and when the time is right you will cross paths.

If you know certain times are more difficult for you, why don't you switch up your routine a bit? You gave the example of bedtime being difficult. Why don't you go to the library, and pick up a few light "feel good" books. You can use the time before bed to get lost in a wonderful story.

Just know, this too shall pass. As difficult as it is now, you can and will get through it.

jillio · 08-28-2011, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

when will this feeling go away? It hasn't changed a bit since the engagement ended 3 weeks ago I still feel like black blob, not even human cuz I'm not capable of love like show love and affection to other (esp to my ex fiance) I still feel like my future is big empty of nothing and waste of time I truly believe that my ex fiance is "the one" and I failed as human to have normal life, get married and have babies after graduation now I lost him all that future is gone I do not want anything anymore I dont find anyone attractive and I dont want to be in relationship with anyone and marriage and children is out of question with anyone else its like eating rotten meat, the idea is replusive. I still cry to sleep at bedtime I still dont think life is worth living since I failed as human and things normally given to people in life I got and lost it so its like now what? theres nothing now and no matter what people say to me "it'll get better" "you'll find someone" "you didnt fail as human" whatever I still feel exactly the same

Give yourself time. Be kind to yourself. Getting over something like this is a process. Do you have a good friend that you can talk honestly to about your feelings?

This is situational. I don't think you need professional intervention at this point. If it gets worse or you are unable to work through it in a reasonable amount of time, then that should be considered. At this point, though, I would just recommend having a good support system and using it.

jillio · 08-28-2011, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

during the day time I'm okay getting through the day but when it come to bed time it come all crashing down and its worst feeling ever and cant help but cry and grieves over loss. I do have depression I'm on antidepressant for over 2 years honestly I dont think therapy will do much good because I know what he or she would say and I just need to talk my feeling out on alldeaf or friends to get it out of my head

That is basically what I just posted from a therapist's perspective. Increasing meds isn't going to help. The only thing that is going to alleviate the depression from a situation like this is talking through your emotions, and giving it time to become farther and farther from your immediate experience. I know you don't want to hear that, but I don't want to give you false hopes that there is some magic bullet.

You are having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. It is not normal to go through a break up. It doesn't happen every day. But it is normal to be sad and depressed when it happens.

**shel90** · 08-28-2011, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

during the day time I'm okay getting through the day but when it come to bed time it come all crashing down and its worst feeling ever and cant help but cry and grieves over loss. I do have depression I'm on antidepressant for over 2 years honestly I dont think therapy will do much good because I know what he or she would say and I just need to talk my feeling out on alldeaf or friends to get it out of my head

That was how I was in Feb of 2010 when my daughter was taken away to Arizona by my ex-hubby. During the first few weeks, I had a hard time getting through the days and nights. Then, after a month or so...getting through the days got better but come bedtime, it was like my world was over and I would get so depressed. Now, a year and half later, those night depressions have become much less frequent. During the day, I am fine now.

Yes, time does heal wounds. I will still always miss her but it is not the crushing heavy weight causing me to feel like scrambling to get air which made me get frequent anxiety attacks.

Hope you feel better soon!

SkullChick · 08-28-2011, 12:09 PM

Wirelessly posted

I dont really have friends I trust to talk about it most of them dont understand depression and break up after long (almost 5 years) relationship. I'm in school right now and its my focus to graduate. I'm kind of "keep-to myself" type of person and am aware that need to change and learn to makes new friend and go out to socialize

jillio · 08-28-2011, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

I dont really have friends I trust to talk about it most of them dont understand depression and break up after long (almost 5 years) relationship. I'm in school right now and its my focus to graduate. I'm kind of "keep-to myself" type of person and am aware that need to change and learn to makes new friend and go out to socialize

Would you like my personal email? I would be happy to do what I can to help you through this as a friend.

SkullChick · 08-28-2011, 12:27 PM

Wirelessly posted

sure

jillio · 08-28-2011, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

sure

I'm sending a PM.

whatdidyousay! · 08-28-2011, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by radioman

all I can say is time will heal. you will know you feel better when you meet a new guy.

She does not need a guy to made her feel better , she is a whole person and need to realize that she has not failed as a person or as woman. I think she may be overwhelmed with going to school and having her engagement breaking off is really painful. I hope she will realize she does not need a man to made her a person or a woman. I hope she will give herself time to heal before meeting another guy.

SkullChick · 08-28-2011, 02:32 PM

Wirelessly posted

I have absolutely no interest into meeting new person as for now so I'm going to be by myself for time being

**KarissaMann05** · 08-28-2011, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

I dont really have friends I trust to talk about it most of them dont understand depression and break up after long (almost 5 years) relationship. I'm in school right now and its my focus to graduate. I'm kind of "keep-to myself" type of person and am aware that need to change and learn to makes new friend and go out to socialize

I wish I can help... and we should hang out together for lunchtime, park time, or something. But I know it is so far right there. But, I agree with you about new friends and socialize people. I think it is better to find another ways to recover yourself and try to do things-- school stuff and focus on yourself to see what you can do.

Hang on, SkullChick!

whatdidyousay! · 08-28-2011, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

I have absolutely no interest into meeting new person as for now so I'm going to be by myself for time being

Good for you!!

jillio · 08-28-2011, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

I have absolutely no interest into meeting new person as for now so I'm going to be by myself for time being

That is a very wise decision.

JoeyDeafNinja · 08-31-2011, 10:15 PM

You are lucky to not have a Multi Personality Disorder like I do. It worse than you think it would be. I'm also not capable of love too but I doing my best to show love.

**Smithtr** · 08-31-2011, 10:21 PM

I have issues problem pretty tough! I know not easy complication It is very depression and sleep hard

**Cheetah** · 09-01-2011, 07:13 AM

Wirelessly posted (Backberry)

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeyDeafNinja

You are lucky to not have a Multi Personality Disorder like I do. It worse than you think it would be. I'm also not capable of love too but I doing my best to show love.

Multiple personality disorder in itself would not prevent you from experincing love. But the trauma that brought about your MPD might. Its really about learning to trust others again. Once you can trust, you can love.

**Cheetah** · 09-01-2011, 07:20 AM

Wirelessly posted (Backberry)

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

I have absolutely no interest into meeting new person as for now so I'm going to be by myself for time being

You are way smarter than I was. I jumpped right back into a relationship after my ex left me. I was devistated and didn't understand why she would leave. So I sought out comfort and it really slowed down my recovery. I fear allowing myself to really love her because if I do my heart would just be broken again. I'm like you, when I give my heart to someone, I give 100 percent to the relationship. Find someone to confide in, give yourself time. Focusing on your education will help you in the long run. Sigh, I wish I could follow my own advice!

rebeccalj · 09-01-2011, 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

during the day time I'm okay getting through the day but when it come to bed time it come all crashing down and its worst feeling ever and cant help but cry and grieves over loss. I do have depression I'm on antidepressant for over 2 years honestly I dont think therapy will do much good because I know what he or she would say and I just need to talk my feeling out on alldeaf or friends to get it out of my head

To the bolded:
1) Yes, you are grieving. Allow yourself to grieve. To move through it.
2) Yes, get it out and keep getting it out until nothing left to get out.

When you least expect it, love will find you and be even better that you will think back to now and wonder what the big deal was.

DeafCaroline · 09-01-2011, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SkullChick

Wirelessly posted

when will this feeling go away? It hasn't changed a bit since the engagement ended 3 weeks ago I still feel like black blob, not even human cuz I'm not capable of love like show love and affection to other (esp to my ex fiance) I still feel like my future is big empty of nothing and waste of time I truly believe that my ex fiance is "the one" and I failed as human to have normal life, get married and have babies after graduation now I lost him all that future is gone I do not want anything anymore I dont find anyone attractive and I dont want to be in relationship with anyone and marriage and children is out of question with anyone else its like eating rotten meat, the idea is replusive. I still cry to sleep at bedtime I still dont think life is worth living since I failed as human and things normally given to people in life I got and lost it so its like now what? theres nothing now and no matter what people say to me "it'll get better" "you'll find someone" "you didnt fail as human" whatever I still feel exactly the same

Not too long ago, I went through a terrible shock when my boyfriend, out of the blue, announced he met someone and wanted to date her. It was so out of left field and unexpected that I couldn't get off my couch for about 6 weeks. Lost nearly 20 pounds in six weeks, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't even think. I was 100% non-functional. The shock was so bad that as a result of total upheaval of my hormones, I got lesions on my liver and ended up having to go to ER. I had never been through a breakup this devastating in my life.

Times does heal. I know it's not helpful when people tell you that while you're in the midst of a great depression but it's true. Eventually, the pain will lessen.

Give it time, and meanwhile do what you can to keep your mind off of your troubles, find anything to do that will distract you and give you a break from unhappy thoughts. In my situation, what I did was join a softball team and started taking ASL lessons. Those two things were really helpful in that they got me off the couch and out of the house.

You have my empathies and as someone who had been in your shoes, I can tell you that it WILL get better.

Grummer · 09-01-2011, 12:14 PM

been there done that, i broke up with a gal last year it was horrible, lots sleepless nights, i can promise you this, it will fade, the pain will go away. Most important thing to do right now its be kind to yourself, that is, give yourself treats, like hot drinks, buy one new clothes item (or 2, dont get silly buying a whole lot), take up reading one of those books you been looking at for a while (ago)...cook that cake you've always wanted to try ...and go for long walks at the local garden park focusing on 'self game' identifying plants or just try look at plants and say to your ' wow thats beautiful i can see the grains, or the leaves on it it looks pretty with this one...etc(i do this at home as im in the midst of doing up my home)...get some Vit B tablets, they helps stress and helps sleep, a banana before you go to bed helps too (potassium/magnesium in it helps alot)...what else? oh glass of milk with some sprinkle of cinnimon /and/or nutmeg (whisk lightly) is great too

all the best...just be your own best freind...

08-27-2011, 11:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted when will this feeling go away? It hasn't changed a bit since the engagement ended 3 weeks ago I still feel like black blob, not even human cuz I'm not capable of love like show love and affection to other (esp to my ex fiance) I still feel like my future is big empty of nothing and waste of time I truly believe that my ex fiance is "the one" and I failed as human to have normal life, get married and have babies after graduation now I lost him all that future is gone I do not want anything anymore I dont find anyone attractive and I dont want to be in relationship with anyone and marriage and children is out of question with anyone else its like eating rotten meat, the idea is replusive. I still cry to sleep at bedtime I still dont think life is worth living since I failed as human and things normally given to people in life I got and lost it so its like now what? theres nothing now and no matter what people say to me "it'll get better" "you'll find someone" "you didnt fail as human" whatever I still feel exactly the same __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-28-2011, 12:39 AM	#2 (permalink)
kristy2078 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: New Hampshire, USA Posts: 258	Seek out therapy. Oddball likes this.

08-28-2011, 01:29 AM	#3 (permalink)
Miss-Delectable V.I.P. Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 17,174 Blog Entries: 3	Sorry to hear your engagement's ended. Talk to a therapist, it might help, but only if you had an open mind, and willing to work thru it. Oddball and SilentWanderer like this. __________________ "Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light." - Helen Keller Last edited by Miss-Delectable; 08-28-2011 at 07:07 PM.

08-28-2011, 02:03 AM	#4 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,629	sorry hear your bad on happened screw up It is very terrible sad! __________________

08-28-2011, 02:31 AM	#5 (permalink)
ladysolitary85 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: CA Posts: 1,509	Hun, its not that you failed, its not your fault and its not that you weren't good enough... it was just he wasn't. I know what you feel and its hard but if its meant to be it will be. Hope you feel better soon! KristinaB likes this. __________________ Severe loss in left Profound loss in right

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08-28-2011, 05:49 AM	#6 (permalink)
Babyblue Registered User Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 11,995	As much as you hate this... I know it has been said to you over and over again.. Time will heal. As much as you do not believe it right now. It will... Right now it is good that you are venting out and expressing your feelings. Like others suggested. Perhaps it is time for you to seek out help, talk to a therapist. I have been in your shoes once.... It will get better.. KristinaB, ladysolitary85 and SilentWanderer like this.

08-28-2011, 07:22 AM	#7 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted during the day time I'm okay getting through the day but when it come to bed time it come all crashing down and its worst feeling ever and cant help but cry and grieves over loss. I do have depression I'm on antidepressant for over 2 years honestly I dont think therapy will do much good because I know what he or she would say and I just need to talk my feeling out on alldeaf or friends to get it out of my head __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-28-2011, 07:26 AM	#8 (permalink)
radioman Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In the good ole USA ! Posts: 2,551	all I can say is time will heal. you will know you feel better when you meet a new guy.

08-28-2011, 08:35 AM	#9 (permalink)
Bottesini Joe's Friend Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: With Owl Sock Posts: 37,505 Blog Entries: 1	I am sorry. It can still help to talk to a therapist. And tell them exactly how sad you are. They may be able to adjust your depression medicine to help you get through this. Oddball likes this. __________________

08-28-2011, 09:02 AM	#10 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted my primary physician said if he increase my dose and I'll be like zombie and its better to still feel little sad than no emotion at all __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-28-2011, 12:09 PM	#15 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted I dont really have friends I trust to talk about it most of them dont understand depression and break up after long (almost 5 years) relationship. I'm in school right now and its my focus to graduate. I'm kind of "keep-to myself" type of person and am aware that need to change and learn to makes new friend and go out to socialize __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-28-2011, 12:27 PM	#17 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted sure __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-28-2011, 02:32 PM	#20 (permalink)
SkullChick Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Middle Of Nowhere, Delaware Posts: 940	Wirelessly posted I have absolutely no interest into meeting new person as for now so I'm going to be by myself for time being jillio, Berry, Bebonang and 2 others like this. __________________ [Left Ear] Implanted 1/15/08 with Nucleus Freedom! Activated 2/12/08 with Freedom BTE Link for my Cochlear Implant http://skullchick.blogspot.com Link for my Blog unrelated to cochlear Implant http://skullchickworld.blogspot.com

08-31-2011, 10:15 PM	#24 (permalink)
JoeyDeafNinja Registered User Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Travelers Rest, SC Posts: 1,265	You are lucky to not have a Multi Personality Disorder like I do. It worse than you think it would be. I'm also not capable of love too but I doing my best to show love. __________________ Strength and thrown off reason and reality Cut myself and screamed for their insanity Wake up to this nightmare that will never end Main attraction of this twisted master plan I will be your deadman With nothing but this blood on my hands Stuck in your wonderland I wanna make you bleed just like me So make me your deadman With only poisoning in my veins Stuck in your wonderland Stagnated by the passivity I'm gonna make you bleed like me

08-31-2011, 10:21 PM	#25 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,629	I have issues problem pretty tough! I know not easy complication It is very depression and sleep hard __________________

09-01-2011, 12:14 PM	#30 (permalink)
Grummer Registered User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: In the Batcave Posts: 9,503	been there done that, i broke up with a gal last year it was horrible, lots sleepless nights, i can promise you this, it will fade, the pain will go away. Most important thing to do right now its be kind to yourself, that is, give yourself treats, like hot drinks, buy one new clothes item (or 2, dont get silly buying a whole lot), take up reading one of those books you been looking at for a while (ago)...cook that cake you've always wanted to try ...and go for long walks at the local garden park focusing on 'self game' identifying plants or just try look at plants and say to your ' wow thats beautiful i can see the grains, or the leaves on it it looks pretty with this one...etc(i do this at home as im in the midst of doing up my home)...get some Vit B tablets, they helps stress and helps sleep, a banana before you go to bed helps too (potassium/magnesium in it helps alot)...what else? oh glass of milk with some sprinkle of cinnimon /and/or nutmeg (whisk lightly) is great too all the best...just be your own best freind... rebeccalj likes this. __________________ "Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness that created them." Albert Einstein

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