I need to VENT! - Page 3

**Cheri** · 10-26-2004, 09:56 AM

I agree with most posters in here, With me I cannot stand my son's father But, I have to put my feelings aside and do what best for my son. My son needs both mother and father even through he isn't a best role model as a father figures but, that isn't my say about what is right for my son because, he wants his dad around so I have to put up with that even through his dad is a real deadbeat. *grrr*

10-26-2004, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheri

I agree with most posters in here, With me I cannot stand my son's father But, I have to put my feelings aside and do what best for my son. My son needs both mother and father even through he isn't a best role model as a father figures but, that isn't my say about what is right for my son because, he wants his dad around so I have to put up with that even through his dad is a real deadbeat. *grrr*

You are being very mature here, Cheri. Your son will thank you one day for not putting him in the middle.

I grew up with 4 different stepdads and a biological dad who took off when I wa six months old. I had to go through 3 ugly divorces between my mom and stepdads and I was always put in the middle. Even though they were jerks, I was not comfortable to hear negative stuff. Each parent told me negative stuff about the other parent. I was forced to grow up fast with adult battles.

Keep it up, Cheri ..it is not easy. I try to swallow my opinions about my ex in front of my girls but I keep reminding myself that they still need/want their father, despite my opinions of him. Let them find out themselves one day. Let them be children for now and one day they will sort out their feelings about the whole deal.

HUGS

10-26-2004, 10:08 AM

Yea, it is okay, Cheri. I understand. Everyone doesn't have the perfect father or perfect mother. I don't have perfect father either. Some kids doesn't have perfect mother.

If ONE of the parents can't be the role model of being a child or children's father or mother, if mother has the best interest and better role of mother, she will get the full custody of the child/children and father will have to follow the court rules, get visitation rights and pay child supports, if not, Mother have the right to stop father to see your child unless he pay the child support. If not paying child support, your child/children can "estranged" from the father which mean your child/children will no longer to see him until the father pay child support.

If the mother can't be the mother role, the father have the best interest, and he will take the full custody, and mother will have to pay child support and get a visitation rights like the court tell you to do. If mother won't do it or can't do it, her child/children will "estranged" from the mom, father have the right to stop you from seeing your child.. I know it is not easy. It is hard to deal with it. If you want to see your child, you can pay child support to the father and he will let you to see Sean. I know it is not fair, it is the court.

If you want a joint custody, which mean, Mother and Father have the best roles and interest for their children and paying equal, and child/children will live with mom for 1 week and dad for 1 week until your child/children make the decision when they get up to 13 or 14 years old due to their schools, involve with community.

**Cheri** · 10-26-2004, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meg

You are being very mature here, Cheri. Your son will thank you one day for not putting him in the middle.

I grew up with 4 different stepdads and a biological dad who took off when I wa six months old. I had to go through 3 ugly divorces between my mom and stepdads and I was always put in the middle. Even though they were jerks, I was not comfortable to hear negative stuff. Each parent told me negative stuff about the other parent. I was forced to grow up fast with adult battles.

Keep it up, Cheri ..it is not easy. I try to swallow my opinions about my ex in front of my girls but I keep reminding myself that they still need/want their father, despite my opinions of him.HUGS

Yep, you are exactly correct. It's isn't about me it's about my son. I just want my son happy and if he is happy having a relationship with his dad, then I am happy for him. (((Hugs!!)))))

Quote:

Let them find out themselves one day. Let them be children for now and one day they will sort out their feelings about the whole deal.

Yes, If my son doesn't want a relationship with his dad then Heck I gotta throw a party LOL Just Kidding!

10-26-2004, 10:26 AM

Yea, that is true, Cheri.. That is normal... If your child or children doesn't want to do anything with their father, heck with it, move on and live happy where they are now.. They have you and you have them.. If your children wanted to have a relationship with him and the father need to know they do want to see you and try to have a father/son relationship, if he doesn't want to, forget him and move on, and someday you married someone and your sons will have a cool and awesome stepfather they can look up to.

**Liebling:-)))** · 10-26-2004, 11:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyRedHeadWV

If ONE of the parents can't be the role model of being a child or children's father or mother, if mother has the best interest and better role of mother, she will get the full custody of the child/children and father will have to follow the court rules, get visitation rights and pay child supports, if not, Mother have the right to stop father to see your child unless he pay the child support. If not paying child support, your child/children can "estranged" from the father which mean your child/children will no longer to see him until the father pay child support.

If the mother can't be the mother role, the father have the best interest, and he will take the full custody, and mother will have to pay child support and get a visitation rights like the court tell you to do. If mother won't do it or can't do it, her child/children will "estranged" from the mom, father have the right to stop you from seeing your child.. I know it is not easy. It is hard to deal with it. If you want to see your child, you can pay child support to the father and he will let you to see Sean. I know it is not fair, it is the court.

If you want a joint custody, which mean, Mother and Father have the best roles and interest for their children and paying equal, and child/children will live with mom for 1 week and dad for 1 week until your child/children make the decision when they get up to 13 or 14 years old due to their schools, involve with community.

Well, my father support my mother with no cents........ my mother still let him to visit to see us.

It sound blackmail when you stop your ex to see your children because of that no child support. It´s unfair for the children.

You can image what you react if your son want to see his father (your ex whom he never pay child support?)

10-26-2004, 11:20 AM

It's up to the court, judges and lawyers.

**Liebling:-)))** · 10-26-2004, 11:33 AM

Well, child´s interest is more important. I would offer my children if they want to see their father to find out themselves.

I would not listen court etc and give my children the chance because my child´s interest come first. Alot of parents could be bitch if they like to stop their children for see their father or mother.

My children would hate me for that if I wont let them to go to see his father because I obey court´s rule.

It´s bad if the parents think about themselves, not their child´s interest and future.

I would deal with my ex like what Cheri and Meg says at thier posts.

Opal · 10-26-2004, 04:41 PM

Do not using children as a weapon, they are innocent pure and simple!!

If anyone left child behind with ex-spouse, and come back to claim full custody, it is harder this way until you proof the parent is unfit to look after!!!

It saddened me to see children's life like a parcel back and to...............

eternity · 10-26-2004, 07:31 PM

Quote:

If the mother can't be the mother role, the father have the best interest, and he will take the full custody, and mother will have to pay child support and get a visitation rights like the court tell you to do. If mother won't do it or can't do it, her child/children will "estranged" from the mom, father have the right to stop you from seeing your child..

If father takes a full custody of child but that doesn't mean mother will have to pay child support. They both can make the agree if they don't make any agreement then they can go to the court. If mother wont or cant do it that doesnt mean the father have the right to stop her from see their child.

Quote:

If you want to see your child, you can pay child support to the father and he will let you to see Sean.

It sounds stupid! It is all about the money so he would let her see that child?

For me.. I will against that idea!

**Cheri** · 10-26-2004, 09:05 PM

Quote:

If father takes a full custody of child but that doesn't mean mother will have to pay child support. They both can make the agree if they don't make any agreement then they can go to the court. If mother wont or cant do it that doesnt mean the father have the right to stop her from see their child.

You are wrong right there, First of all it's the law to pay child support rather you like it or not. It is unfair that the custody mother or father have to support the child alone, It's takes two not one. Second of all, Child Support Enforcment near my home told me that If my son's father doesn't pay
child support I have the right to keep my son away from him, there no court order saying he allow to have visitations rights, he never filed one, therefore I have the power.. But, I am not going to do it that way because, it isn't my place to take that father/son bond away from my son.

**Banjo** · 10-26-2004, 09:25 PM

In all 50 states, the laws usually varies in this area. Divorces, Custodies, Marriage Disputes, etc all varies from state to state.

From what I know, some states don't require a parent to pay child support as long these are dealt in private instead of the court. Personal agreements instead of having a judge make the decisions are pretty much legal from what I believe. I believe that's where Eternity is coming from. I do agree with her that these situations does take place.

I know several people who has dealt with it in private instead of taking it to the court. The laws doesn't apply to personal matters as long they are dealt in private. But if you are unable to deal with the other parent of a child, then that's where the legal system come in handy.

**Angel** · 10-26-2004, 09:36 PM

Quote:

If father takes a full custody of child but that doesn't mean mother will have to pay child support.

Actually yes you have to pay child support no matter what, it's the LAW period!! And if one of the parents give up their right for that child then yes, she/he wouldn't have to pay any child support!

Quote:

They both can make the agree if they don't make any agreement then they can go to the court. If mother wont or cant do it that doesnt mean the father have the right to stop her from see their child.

When you go thru a divorce, there will be either the mom or dad who wants full or shared custody of the child ( ren ), when they are unable to make an agreement about shared custody before facing the judge, then the judge would hear both sides and decides who would get full custody of the child....Every divorce cases are different and how long they fight in court etc...

Child support goes thru the Child Support Recovery Unit or whatever name it goes by, as what is stated in the final divorce decree document and nothing can be changed unless taken back to court...or first go before a mediator ( someone who hears both sides and tries to have both sides come to an agreement )...

When one parent refused to pay child support, the other parent is not allow to stop the other parent from seeing the child, if he/she do that then he/she would lose the child custody...It a law and you are not allow to do that...I have that in my divorce papers, if my ex husband did not pay any child support Im not allow to tell him he can't see the children or else I would lose my custody of the children....If he still refused to pay any child support then he will still owe any back child support, if still hasnt pay within a couple of months or so, he will be arrest and send to jail then the judge would hear the reason why he hasn't pay any...then go from there....

Either follow the law or you lose, that's how it works!

**Angel** · 10-26-2004, 09:41 PM

Quote:

From what I know, some states don't require a parent to pay child support as long these are dealt in private instead of the court

I have NEVER heard of this before, do you have a link or something?

**Cheri** · 10-26-2004, 09:41 PM

Ahhhhhhh Banjo you are wrong. I found the link.....

http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/f...nf/enforce.htm

It's the law! Remember you live in Canada.

**Banjo** · 10-26-2004, 09:52 PM

Not entirely wrong. Only wrong on the part of referring to it as a state law when it was in fact a federal law.

But that's not the main point I was making.

A noncustodial parent only has to pay if the order is made. That's the point I was making. A noncustodial parent is only required to pay if the custodial parent makes the appeal, period.

The website you provided, that's a website for custodial parents who need help to get an order for the child support payments to be made. Therefore, the noncustodial parent is only required to pay if the order is made. Look it up on the website, you'll find the answer.

**Cheri** · 10-26-2004, 09:53 PM

State goes after child support

New Michigan laws set up fund to help police arrest 84,000 deadbeat parents

By Kim Kozlowski / The Detroit News

Child support laws

Several new laws have gone into effect in the last two years to help improve Michigan's child support system. They include:

A new fund to help law enforcement serve outstanding bench warrants against deadbeat parents, effective today.

Hospital costs must be split between both parents instead of being the responsibility of the father, effective today.

Court can suspend driver's licenses and place liens against property to collect support payments, enacted in July 2003.

Court can garnishee bank accounts for back child support, enacted December 2002.

Parenting time laws strengthened by adding informal meetings to avoid court action. December 2002.

Bad faith actions could result in fines of between $250 and $1,000, enacted in December 2002.

Also, the 8 percent surcharge on overdue payments will be reduced, and deleted altogether for parents who pay their child support for six consecutive months, effective next year.

Source: State Court Administrative Office

Fixing child support

New state laws designed to enhance child support collection are going into effect, including penalizing parents who fail to show up at hearings by restricting evidence they can present at a rescheduled proceeding, and a new fund to help police serve bench warrants against deadbeat parents. Do you expect that the new laws will succeed in fixing the worst problems in the system?

Yes
No

Get results and comments

Previous reports
Child support may go paperless
Michigan glitches snarl child support
Laura Berman: Cox earns kudos for strong efforts to crack down on deadbeat parents
Cox boasts $1.4 million in back child support
Feds certify Friend of the Court
Child-support crackdown pays off for Wayne County
Overdue child support targeted
Child support faces overhaul
State speeds child support payments
Special Report: Unfriendly Court: Broken system cheats families

Related reports

More on Finances

Detroit Should End Games with Justice Department - 10/01/04
Feds: Cops inflated the cost of reforms - 09/30/04
African Town plan derided - 09/30/04

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comment on this story
Send this story to a friend
Get Home Delivery

Following years of failing thousands of Michigan children and their parents, the state is bolstering its child support system.

A handful of new laws aimed at enhancing the system goes into effect today, including one that will establish a fund to help police serve the almost 84,000 outstanding bench warrants against deadbeat parents.

Besides the new fund, other laws that go into effect today include splitting pregnancy and birthing costs between both parents, which previously were paid only by the father. And another law would penalize parents who fail to show up at referee hearings by restricting evidence they can present at a rescheduled proceeding.

The laws are the latest in the state’s efforts to crack down on parents who don’t pay child support and to address other parenting issues within the system. Efforts made in recent years include suspending driver’s licenses, imposing liens against personal property and even garnishing personal bank accounts.

netrox · 10-26-2004, 09:58 PM

Cheri,

A non-custodianal parent is NOT required to pay for child support UNLESS ORDERED by the court. Some parents don't want them to pay for child support.

-jeff

netrox · 10-26-2004, 10:06 PM

In defense of "deadbeat dads"

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,127958,00.html

-jeff

**Cheri** · 10-26-2004, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by netrox

Cheri,

A non-custodianal parent is NOT required to pay for child support UNLESS ORDERED by the court. Some parents don't want them to pay for child support.

-jeff

Duh! I Know that, but you can't settle this private and pay child support because, if an absent parent say "I paid my ex 200.00" and the Custody parent said "No he did not" It has to go through Child Support Enforcement, because that the only proofs the absent parent pay child support and the custody parent receiving child support from the absent parent.

**Angel** · 10-26-2004, 10:13 PM

Acutally, they CAN do that it up to them...If the mother doesn't want the father paying anything that is up to her....if she does want something from him then they settle in private but if the father later decide he doesn't want to pay anything or make any excuess whatsoever, then the law would not be on her side unless she take it to court and go from there...<<<< That's what non-custodianal parent means....without going thru the court system....

I think its better to go thru court otherwise you wouldn't have to worry about a thing whether one of them refused to pay any child support!

DreamDeaf · 10-27-2004, 09:47 AM

I say... it takes two to make a child.

Period.

10-27-2004, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DreamDeaf

I say... it takes two to make a child.

Period.

That is right!

period.

eternity · 10-27-2004, 04:36 PM

Quote:

You are wrong right there, First of all it's the law to pay child support rather you like it or not

Cheri, It is not the law. It is up to custodianal parent, if he/she wants him/her to pay a child support. A custodianal parent can request for child support and he/she will have to follow the court's order.

I would agree with netrox and Banjo's comments.

Cheri, you can make the choice to take your boys away from their father because you have a full custody with them.

Quote:

Feds certify Friend of the Court
Child-support crackdown pays off for Wayne County

haha I hate Friend of the Court. I went there numerous times.

10-28-2004, 08:32 AM

It's sad to see children suffering, and they always think they are in the middle of the divorce. Child and children deserve to have a Mom and a Dad!

I still don't understand WHY WHY unmarried or married people get pregnant and have babies and they break up or get divorce. I thought having a children will bring the relationship closer. I guess not. To me, having a baby is more important to bring my marriage together, and I am really happy with my husband, and we are going to try for another. I cannot see how having a child would tearing the relationship up.

While back, I hate my mom and dad for getting divorce, it really pissed me off, and all I thought they were getting divorce, because of me and my sister. And when my mom remarried, I had a tough time getting along with my stepdad, it took me 10 years to get along with my stepdad. And I have no contact with my real dad.

DreamDeaf · 10-28-2004, 09:37 AM

Well - each situation is different. IM glad my mother divorced my biological father when I was a baby in swaddling clothes...although it did mean that I had to be separated from her and living with my grandparents for many years.

If she hadnt divorced that loser, I wouldnt have a GREAT father that I have now...he adopted me when I was 15 years old, and I consider him my REAL father.

Now as for the loser, Mom had tried for many years to get child support from him...and failed over and over and both states failed her too - 18 years of lost child support...nada, zilch, zero. For 11 years, she had to depend on my grandparents, the states, and the kindness of Central Institute for the Deaf in supporting herself and me. Of course, she found an excellent job at Ritenour, but having a deaf child...put a lot of burden on her.

So when she married Dad, it really made a difference. And I mean a big difference...you can't believe it. NO more handmade dresses, no more shoes from Goodwill, a brand new bed for me...and so on...

That is why I have great admiration for all you single parents, working hard to support your families all by yourselves...it takes perservance, courage and strength to be able to do it all by yourselves.

for all you single parents!!

**Angel** · 10-28-2004, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eternity

Cheri, It is not the law. It is up to custodianal parent, if he/she wants him/her to pay a child support. A custodianal parent can request for child support and he/she will have to follow the court's order.

I would agree with netrox and Banjo's comments.

Cheri, you can make the choice to take your boys away from their father because you have a full custody with them.

haha I hate Friend of the Court. I went there numerous times.

NON-Custodianal Parents is not under the Law for paying child support because you don't have a court order...there's nothing for the law to do for you nor will be on your side....

Custodianal Parents who has an COURT ORDER is under the law to follow it, if the parent who expecting the child support money decide to ignore that order and let the other parent not to pay a penny, don't be soo darn surprise if it backfire you right in your face, then you will be owing thousands of dollars in child support, as I always say, ' its your own risk , take it or leave it '...

It's a LAW that both parent shall see the child unless otherwise, you CAN NOT take a child away from one of his/her parents just because YOU don't like it...

If one of the parent has full custody, I would expect them to put their feelings aside and do what makes your child happy because a child NEEDS TWO parents....

I'm so sick and tired of hearing one of the parent saying ' I'm not going to let my child see their mom or their dad ' ...then YOU are the one who hurting your child!!!! think twice before you make such a jugdement of what you think it's better for your own child when you are not listening to THEIR FEELINGS!!!!

**Cheri** · 10-28-2004, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Cheri, It is not the law. It is up to custodianal parent, if he/she wants him/her to pay a child support. A custodianal parent can request for child support and he/she will have to follow the court's order.

Remember it takes two to bring a child in the world it is not right to have one parent to support a child? that sounds selfish-self center. it's like one parent get a free ride while another parent support a child. That sounds nonsense to me.

MsGiglz · 10-28-2004, 10:22 PM

Cheri.. and parents who have child with no mother or dad beings support or visit..

2 of my 6 kids are suffering with their dad.. their dad dont understand MN laws and court.. He wanted see the kids but my kids dont want to.. and listened the court order that he lost his rights but still have to pay child support...

Why? cuz my kids never forget what he did to them and me.. Also, they went throught up and down mentally emotions that they showed up the supervised center to see their dad, he didnt show up more than 20 times.. (but only 2 times he showed up after than he didnt show).. so the court overlooked his case and his cooperative.. none of it.. so the court decided the best for children's interests and safety... but still too bad that he still bothers them..
:shrugs: i did report but they said as long he didnt come to 100ft.. grr!.. should have 1000000 ft away from them.. (hehe)

the only best thing to be there for children and be netural in positive way.. not negative way can lead them stressed or anxiety...

best the luck..

10-26-2004, 09:56 AM	#61 (permalink)
Cheri Prayers for my dad. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 22,819	I agree with most posters in here, With me I cannot stand my son's father But, I have to put my feelings aside and do what best for my son. My son needs both mother and father even through he isn't a best role model as a father figures but, that isn't my say about what is right for my son because, he wants his dad around so I have to put up with that even through his dad is a real deadbeat. grrr __________________ Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.

10-26-2004, 11:33 AM	#68 (permalink)
Liebling:-))) Sussi 7.7.86 - 18.6.09 Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Germany Posts: 31,038	Well, child´s interest is more important. I would offer my children if they want to see their father to find out themselves. I would not listen court etc and give my children the chance because my child´s interest come first. Alot of parents could be bitch if they like to stop their children for see their father or mother. My children would hate me for that if I wont let them to go to see his father because I obey court´s rule. It´s bad if the parents think about themselves, not their child´s interest and future. I would deal with my ex like what Cheri and Meg says at thier posts. __________________

10-26-2004, 04:41 PM	#69 (permalink)
Opal Registered User Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 3,763 Blog Entries: 1	Do not using children as a weapon, they are innocent pure and simple!! If anyone left child behind with ex-spouse, and come back to claim full custody, it is harder this way until you proof the parent is unfit to look after!!! It saddened me to see children's life like a parcel back and to............... __________________ (\ (\ (=' x') (,('')('')

10-26-2004, 09:41 PM	#75 (permalink)
Cheri Prayers for my dad. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 22,819	Ahhhhhhh Banjo you are wrong. I found the link..... http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/f...nf/enforce.htm It's the law! Remember you live in Canada. __________________ Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.

10-26-2004, 09:53 PM	#77 (permalink)
Cheri Prayers for my dad. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 22,819	State goes after child support New Michigan laws set up fund to help police arrest 84,000 deadbeat parents By Kim Kozlowski / The Detroit News Child support laws Several new laws have gone into effect in the last two years to help improve Michigan's child support system. They include: A new fund to help law enforcement serve outstanding bench warrants against deadbeat parents, effective today. Hospital costs must be split between both parents instead of being the responsibility of the father, effective today. Court can suspend driver's licenses and place liens against property to collect support payments, enacted in July 2003. Court can garnishee bank accounts for back child support, enacted December 2002. Parenting time laws strengthened by adding informal meetings to avoid court action. December 2002. Bad faith actions could result in fines of between $250 and $1,000, enacted in December 2002. Also, the 8 percent surcharge on overdue payments will be reduced, and deleted altogether for parents who pay their child support for six consecutive months, effective next year. Source: State Court Administrative Office Fixing child support New state laws designed to enhance child support collection are going into effect, including penalizing parents who fail to show up at hearings by restricting evidence they can present at a rescheduled proceeding, and a new fund to help police serve bench warrants against deadbeat parents. Do you expect that the new laws will succeed in fixing the worst problems in the system? Yes No Get results and comments Previous reports Child support may go paperless Michigan glitches snarl child support Laura Berman: Cox earns kudos for strong efforts to crack down on deadbeat parents Cox boasts $1.4 million in back child support Feds certify Friend of the Court Child-support crackdown pays off for Wayne County Overdue child support targeted Child support faces overhaul State speeds child support payments Special Report: Unfriendly Court: Broken system cheats families Related reports More on Finances Detroit Should End Games with Justice Department - 10/01/04 Feds: Cops inflated the cost of reforms - 09/30/04 African Town plan derided - 09/30/04 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Comment on this story Send this story to a friend Get Home Delivery Following years of failing thousands of Michigan children and their parents, the state is bolstering its child support system. A handful of new laws aimed at enhancing the system goes into effect today, including one that will establish a fund to help police serve the almost 84,000 outstanding bench warrants against deadbeat parents. Besides the new fund, other laws that go into effect today include splitting pregnancy and birthing costs between both parents, which previously were paid only by the father. And another law would penalize parents who fail to show up at referee hearings by restricting evidence they can present at a rescheduled proceeding. The laws are the latest in the state’s efforts to crack down on parents who don’t pay child support and to address other parenting issues within the system. Efforts made in recent years include suspending driver’s licenses, imposing liens against personal property and even garnishing personal bank accounts. __________________ Avoid being a victim of a stroke, a stroke can happen to anyone at anytime. You will never know how devastating this could be until you had live through it. It affects everybody. So Support Stroke Awareness to find a cure and hope.

Today
Deafness	Sponsored Links __________________ This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members. Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

10-26-2004, 10:08 AM	#63 (permalink)
CrazyMomma Guest Posts: n/a	Yea, it is okay, Cheri. I understand. Everyone doesn't have the perfect father or perfect mother. I don't have perfect father either. Some kids doesn't have perfect mother. If ONE of the parents can't be the role model of being a child or children's father or mother, if mother has the best interest and better role of mother, she will get the full custody of the child/children and father will have to follow the court rules, get visitation rights and pay child supports, if not, Mother have the right to stop father to see your child unless he pay the child support. If not paying child support, your child/children can "estranged" from the father which mean your child/children will no longer to see him until the father pay child support. If the mother can't be the mother role, the father have the best interest, and he will take the full custody, and mother will have to pay child support and get a visitation rights like the court tell you to do. If mother won't do it or can't do it, her child/children will "estranged" from the mom, father have the right to stop you from seeing your child.. I know it is not easy. It is hard to deal with it. If you want to see your child, you can pay child support to the father and he will let you to see Sean. I know it is not fair, it is the court. If you want a joint custody, which mean, Mother and Father have the best roles and interest for their children and paying equal, and child/children will live with mom for 1 week and dad for 1 week until your child/children make the decision when they get up to 13 or 14 years old due to their schools, involve with community.

10-26-2004, 10:26 AM	#65 (permalink)
CrazyMomma Guest Posts: n/a	Yea, that is true, Cheri.. That is normal... If your child or children doesn't want to do anything with their father, heck with it, move on and live happy where they are now.. They have you and you have them.. If your children wanted to have a relationship with him and the father need to know they do want to see you and try to have a father/son relationship, if he doesn't want to, forget him and move on, and someday you married someone and your sons will have a cool and awesome stepfather they can look up to.

10-26-2004, 11:20 AM	#67 (permalink)
CrazyMomma Guest Posts: n/a	It's up to the court, judges and lawyers.

10-26-2004, 09:25 PM	#72 (permalink)
Banjo Expelled Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 11,650	In all 50 states, the laws usually varies in this area. Divorces, Custodies, Marriage Disputes, etc all varies from state to state. From what I know, some states don't require a parent to pay child support as long these are dealt in private instead of the court. Personal agreements instead of having a judge make the decisions are pretty much legal from what I believe. I believe that's where Eternity is coming from. I do agree with her that these situations does take place. I know several people who has dealt with it in private instead of taking it to the court. The laws doesn't apply to personal matters as long they are dealt in private. But if you are unable to deal with the other parent of a child, then that's where the legal system come in handy.

10-26-2004, 09:52 PM	#76 (permalink)
Banjo Expelled Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 11,650	Not entirely wrong. Only wrong on the part of referring to it as a state law when it was in fact a federal law. But that's not the main point I was making. A noncustodial parent only has to pay if the order is made. That's the point I was making. A noncustodial parent is only required to pay if the custodial parent makes the appeal, period. The website you provided, that's a website for custodial parents who need help to get an order for the child support payments to be made. Therefore, the noncustodial parent is only required to pay if the order is made. Look it up on the website, you'll find the answer.

10-26-2004, 09:58 PM	#78 (permalink)
netrox Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 4,780	Cheri, A non-custodianal parent is NOT required to pay for child support UNLESS ORDERED by the court. Some parents don't want them to pay for child support. -jeff

10-26-2004, 10:06 PM	#79 (permalink)
netrox Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 4,780	In defense of "deadbeat dads" http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,127958,00.html -jeff

10-26-2004, 10:13 PM	#81 (permalink)
Angel ♥"Concrete Angel"♥ Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 19,089	Acutally, they CAN do that it up to them...If the mother doesn't want the father paying anything that is up to her....if she does want something from him then they settle in private but if the father later decide he doesn't want to pay anything or make any excuess whatsoever, then the law would not be on her side unless she take it to court and go from there...<<<< That's what non-custodianal parent means....without going thru the court system.... I think its better to go thru court otherwise you wouldn't have to worry about a thing whether one of them refused to pay any child support! __________________ "When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is brought in our life, OR in the life of another." ~ Helen Keller Last edited by Angel; 10-26-2004 at 10:20 PM.

10-27-2004, 09:47 AM	#82 (permalink)
DreamDeaf Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a messy studio Posts: 4,568 Blog Entries: 3	I say... it takes two to make a child. Period. __________________ Smiles, DreamDeaf www.dreamdeaf.blogspot.com

10-28-2004, 08:32 AM	#85 (permalink)
CrazyMomma Guest Posts: n/a	It's sad to see children suffering, and they always think they are in the middle of the divorce. Child and children deserve to have a Mom and a Dad! I still don't understand WHY WHY unmarried or married people get pregnant and have babies and they break up or get divorce. I thought having a children will bring the relationship closer. I guess not. To me, having a baby is more important to bring my marriage together, and I am really happy with my husband, and we are going to try for another. I cannot see how having a child would tearing the relationship up. While back, I hate my mom and dad for getting divorce, it really pissed me off, and all I thought they were getting divorce, because of me and my sister. And when my mom remarried, I had a tough time getting along with my stepdad, it took me 10 years to get along with my stepdad. And I have no contact with my real dad.

10-28-2004, 09:37 AM	#86 (permalink)
DreamDeaf Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: In a messy studio Posts: 4,568 Blog Entries: 3	Well - each situation is different. IM glad my mother divorced my biological father when I was a baby in swaddling clothes...although it did mean that I had to be separated from her and living with my grandparents for many years. If she hadnt divorced that loser, I wouldnt have a GREAT father that I have now...he adopted me when I was 15 years old, and I consider him my REAL father. Now as for the loser, Mom had tried for many years to get child support from him...and failed over and over and both states failed her too - 18 years of lost child support...nada, zilch, zero. For 11 years, she had to depend on my grandparents, the states, and the kindness of Central Institute for the Deaf in supporting herself and me. Of course, she found an excellent job at Ritenour, but having a deaf child...put a lot of burden on her. So when she married Dad, it really made a difference. And I mean a big difference...you can't believe it. NO more handmade dresses, no more shoes from Goodwill, a brand new bed for me...and so on... That is why I have great admiration for all you single parents, working hard to support your families all by yourselves...it takes perservance, courage and strength to be able to do it all by yourselves. for all you single parents!! __________________ Smiles, DreamDeaf www.dreamdeaf.blogspot.com

10-28-2004, 10:22 PM	#89 (permalink)
MsGiglz Registered User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: WVa Posts: 4,255	Cheri.. and parents who have child with no mother or dad beings support or visit.. 2 of my 6 kids are suffering with their dad.. their dad dont understand MN laws and court.. He wanted see the kids but my kids dont want to.. and listened the court order that he lost his rights but still have to pay child support... Why? cuz my kids never forget what he did to them and me.. Also, they went throught up and down mentally emotions that they showed up the supervised center to see their dad, he didnt show up more than 20 times.. (but only 2 times he showed up after than he didnt show).. so the court overlooked his case and his cooperative.. none of it.. so the court decided the best for children's interests and safety... but still too bad that he still bothers them.. :shrugs: i did report but they said as long he didnt come to 100ft.. grr!.. should have 1000000 ft away from them.. (hehe) the only best thing to be there for children and be netural in positive way.. not negative way can lead them stressed or anxiety... best the luck.. __________________

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode