my mind is so diffcult to figure things out.

coolgirlspyer90 · 07-19-2008, 09:19 PM

I'm pretty much upset right now.. Because of alot of things thats going on in my family.

1) My aunt is sick, she's on radiation because she has a tumor in her colon, and she has ovaries cancer. And she has to be on radiation all summer. She had surgery to remove some tumor. But the doctor couldn't take all of it out. My uncle doesn't know what to do. My grandparents are angry at my uncle because he didn't buy the right food for my aunt's family. And my mom is a nurse and she takes care of my aunt all the time whenever she can.

2) I've been thinking about my crush: Jay. It's in my other post. You can find it on my profile. And about how i should figure this relationship out. Because we're just friends. But my mind is so confused about it. And i've been having mixed feelings. I like jay. He's so nice, so funny, sweet, very talented drummer, and makes me want to be around him but i get so shy when he's around other people.

3) Then with my 2 ex-friends, left me hanging in as the 3rd wheel. I never been in that position where they make me as a 'backup friend' and my ex-friend LIES, to me that the whole school in middle school was behind my back just because I was deaf. My good friend, told me that she was lying about it. it tears me apart.

4) My dog spankey, he had an injury on his back left leg because he was running and all the sudden he was limping. I don't know why. or how it happened. But thank god he didn't needed surgery. It would cost alot of money. My mom told me if he needed surgery; it would cost us 800 dollars.

5) With my grades from last year (English Languages Art) and Social Studies, I had a bad grade and i had to Pull that up to a C that will let me be in the band camp this week.

6) I want to find more better friends. But i'm scared I won't be able to. Because i always wanted friends. Elementary school was okay. Middle school sucked. I just hope high school will be better.

7) I'm trying to figure things out on alot of different things. About life, Love, everything. With the Iraq war going on, the gas prices going up, President bush, it puts us even more pressure on us. And sometimes I have to write in my diary just to make me feel better because I'm a writer. Or sometimes i would go on a bike ride up to my school's playground and think about whats going on in the world today. Sometimes I would also listen to my IPod. With the type of song i'm in the mood for.

Right now, I just don't know. My mind is most on about my Aunt....and my crush. I want a miracle to happen. I really do. I needed to cry., And I am. I already sended my ex-friends an email saying i didn't want to be friends with them anymore because they don't treat me right. But that was like last month. Because I knew if i kept being friends with them. I wouldn't be happy at all because they won't let me do what other real friends does. I haven't done anything between my crush and I. I just been dreaming of kissing him and hoping that something would happen later on. But i fear that if i did that, he wouldn't approve of it. And would just be disgusted or soemthing. I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like my life is like a book. I don't know why. But It feels like a story. Well, My story. But I don't know whats going to happen in the future. Sorry this is so long. I just had to...anyways. i'll stop.

**Matilda** · 07-20-2008, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coolgirlspyer90

I'm pretty much upset right now.. Because of alot of things thats going on in my family.

1) My aunt is sick, she's on radiation because she has a tumor in her colon, and she has ovaries cancer. And she has to be on radiation all summer. She had surgery to remove some tumor. But the doctor couldn't take all of it out. My uncle doesn't know what to do. My grandparents are angry at my uncle because he didn't buy the right food for my aunt's family. And my mom is a nurse and she takes care of my aunt all the time whenever she can.

That is your Uncle or even Aunt's prerogative of how they live their lives regarding healthy or non-healthy foods. I hope she will make it but if she doesn't .... I know it's sad but that is the way life goes.

2) I've been thinking about my crush: Jay. It's in my other post. You can find it on my profile. And about how i should figure this relationship out. Because we're just friends. But my mind is so confused about it. And i've been having mixed feelings. I like jay. He's so nice, so funny, sweet, very talented drummer, and makes me want to be around him but i get so shy when he's around other people.

Let it be and just enjoy the friendship. You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you.

3) Then with my 2 ex-friends, left me hanging in as the 3rd wheel. I never been in that position where they make me as a 'backup friend' and my ex-friend LIES, to me that the whole school in middle school was behind my back just because I was deaf. My good friend, told me that she was lying about it. it tears me apart.

They're not your so-called friends! Ignore them ... I wouldn't worry about it, just let it lie.

4) My dog spankey, he had an injury on his back left leg because he was running and all the sudden he was limping. I don't know why. or how it happened. But thank god he didn't needed surgery. It would cost alot of money. My mom told me if he needed surgery; it would cost us 800 dollars.

No need to fret about it as it did work out well in the end, didn't it?

5) With my grades from last year (English Languages Art) and Social Studies, I had a bad grade and i had to Pull that up to a C that will let me be in the band camp this week.

Don’t you think it's time to bury your head in your school books and concentrate on your studies.? Don't worry about boyfriends, they can wait. That will come in good time. It's important to graduate so you can obtain a good job!

6) I want to find more better friends. But i'm scared I won't be able to. Because i always wanted friends. Elementary school was okay. Middle school sucked. I just hope high school will be better.

Friends are gained on trust and true friendship, not to be seen with them as a "hanger on".

7) I'm trying to figure things out on alot of different things. About life, Love, everything. With the Iraq war going on, the gas prices going up, President bush, it puts us even more pressure on us. And sometimes I have to write in my diary just to make me feel better because I'm a writer. Or sometimes i would go on a bike ride up to my school's playground and think about whats going on in the world today. Sometimes I would also listen to my IPod. With the type of song i'm in the mood for.

Don’t need to have the weight of the world’s problems on your young shoulders as yet. It's good that you are aware but as you are living with your family, that is your parents’ job of worrying, not you. So focus on education first.

Right now, I just don't know. My mind is most on about my Aunt....and my crush. I want a miracle to happen. I really do. I needed to cry., And I am. I already sended my ex-friends an email saying i didn't want to be friends with them anymore because they don't treat me right. But that was like last month. Because I knew if i kept being friends with them. I wouldn't be happy at all because they won't let me do what other real friends does. I haven't done anything between my crush and I. I just been dreaming of kissing him and hoping that something would happen later on. But i fear that if i did that, he wouldn't approve of it. And would just be disgusted or soemthing. I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like my life is like a book. I don't know why. But It feels like a story. Well, My story. But I don't know whats going to happen in the future. Sorry this is so long. I just had to...anyways. i'll stop.

Miracles seldom happen. There is nothing to be ashamed of in needing to cry, so cry and let it all out. Every young girl has fantasies about their crushes and loves, but believe me, later in life you will look back and laugh about it.

I’m sorry to see that you are having some emotional upheaval in your life. You are not alone in this as everyone is being tested in life.

We are given life’s trials and that purpose is to give us maturity and experience by overcoming obstacles thrown in our paths. Life will continue to throw us curve-balls (meaning “to expect the unexpected”). We learn from our mistakes and grow in strength, courage and confidence. That is part of life.

So chin up!

coolgirlspyer90 · 07-20-2008, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matilda

Miracles seldom happen. There is nothing to be ashamed of in needing to cry, so cry and let it all out. Every young girl has fantasies about their crushes and loves, but believe me, later in life you will look back and laugh about it.

I’m sorry to see that you are having some emotional upheaval in your life. You are not alone in this as everyone is being tested in life.

We are given life’s trials and that purpose is to give us maturity and experience by overcoming obstacles thrown in our paths. Life will continue to throw us curve-balls (meaning “to expect the unexpected”). We learn from our mistakes and grow in strength, courage and confidence. That is part of life.

So chin up!

thanks, that made me feel better. Mostly i'm really worried about my aunt. My aunt has lost alot of weight very quickly at the beginning of this month and the 2 weeks before the end of june. Because radiation makes you don't want to eat anything. But she is gaining a bit of weight. I haven't seen her for awhile. And she knows she won't be alive to be as a old lady. Then with my crush; when you said let it be, he sended me a song by the beatles: Let it be. I am focused on my education and all the other importnant things. I'm always thinking about alot of things that would make me want to go up to my old school playground and sit on a swing and stare out in the background thinking. I don't know if jay likes me still. Because i know he liked me before, he was flirting with me and making me laugh. and thats what got me to like him. I just wanted to be around him. With him everything makes it seem like everything is okay. I know I have my parents to talk to. But sometimes they would say: "Life isn't fair." And i know that. soo...

**KarissaMann05** · 07-20-2008, 01:24 AM

Matilda, great post

07-19-2008, 09:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
coolgirlspyer90 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,635	my mind is so diffcult to figure things out. I'm pretty much upset right now.. Because of alot of things thats going on in my family. 1) My aunt is sick, she's on radiation because she has a tumor in her colon, and she has ovaries cancer. And she has to be on radiation all summer. She had surgery to remove some tumor. But the doctor couldn't take all of it out. My uncle doesn't know what to do. My grandparents are angry at my uncle because he didn't buy the right food for my aunt's family. And my mom is a nurse and she takes care of my aunt all the time whenever she can. 2) I've been thinking about my crush: Jay. It's in my other post. You can find it on my profile. And about how i should figure this relationship out. Because we're just friends. But my mind is so confused about it. And i've been having mixed feelings. I like jay. He's so nice, so funny, sweet, very talented drummer, and makes me want to be around him but i get so shy when he's around other people. 3) Then with my 2 ex-friends, left me hanging in as the 3rd wheel. I never been in that position where they make me as a 'backup friend' and my ex-friend LIES, to me that the whole school in middle school was behind my back just because I was deaf. My good friend, told me that she was lying about it. it tears me apart. 4) My dog spankey, he had an injury on his back left leg because he was running and all the sudden he was limping. I don't know why. or how it happened. But thank god he didn't needed surgery. It would cost alot of money. My mom told me if he needed surgery; it would cost us 800 dollars. 5) With my grades from last year (English Languages Art) and Social Studies, I had a bad grade and i had to Pull that up to a C that will let me be in the band camp this week. 6) I want to find more better friends. But i'm scared I won't be able to. Because i always wanted friends. Elementary school was okay. Middle school sucked. I just hope high school will be better. 7) I'm trying to figure things out on alot of different things. About life, Love, everything. With the Iraq war going on, the gas prices going up, President bush, it puts us even more pressure on us. And sometimes I have to write in my diary just to make me feel better because I'm a writer. Or sometimes i would go on a bike ride up to my school's playground and think about whats going on in the world today. Sometimes I would also listen to my IPod. With the type of song i'm in the mood for. Right now, I just don't know. My mind is most on about my Aunt....and my crush. I want a miracle to happen. I really do. I needed to cry., And I am. I already sended my ex-friends an email saying i didn't want to be friends with them anymore because they don't treat me right. But that was like last month. Because I knew if i kept being friends with them. I wouldn't be happy at all because they won't let me do what other real friends does. I haven't done anything between my crush and I. I just been dreaming of kissing him and hoping that something would happen later on. But i fear that if i did that, he wouldn't approve of it. And would just be disgusted or soemthing. I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like my life is like a book. I don't know why. But It feels like a story. Well, My story. But I don't know whats going to happen in the future. Sorry this is so long. I just had to...anyways. i'll stop.

07-20-2008, 01:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
KarissaMann05 Premium Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 6,440	Matilda, great post __________________ "Pragmatic language is a vital social skill that enables the school-aged child to navigate their way through demanding social situations." -- R. Owens

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