Lil_country_gal

My cousin is sending me her plugs so i can gauge my ears but my parents think it looks so ugly and i'm just doing it cause i must have low self image. they think it's gonna compltly disfigure my face and it's not reversible. I'm not thinking of going terribley big just big enough to say stick a pencil through. so.....

what are your opinions on this matter?

And if you have gauged ears how can i convince my parents?

__________________
Put some excitement between your legs.... Ride a Horse

Laicy Always and Forever

Deafness

__________________
This advertising will not be shown in this way to registered members.
Register your free account today and become a member on AllDeaf.com

apathrev

At this time, I have both my ears stretched to 0g, which is just a little over 8mm. First off reason with your parents. Explain that it is just the current trend and it will pass. Also, correct you parents. Your ears will heal up. Anything larger than 0g will not heal, but rest assured, anything smaller, will not only shrink, but also close up. Let your parents know there are ways of hiding it, such as flesh colored plugs that even allow you to wear smaller gauge rings. If your parents are that worried about your appearence, this should set their fears at rest. As far as their assertion that you have low self esteem. That's just laughable. I stretched my ears simply because I wanted to try something unique, and that's still the reason I won't take them out just yet. If you find your parents unpersuadable, I'd say just do it. its your body and you're old enough to make your own decisions, especially about something as miniscule as this.

If you end up going through with it let me know. I can even send you some different gauges if you need. Let me know how the situation with your parents goes.

Reba

According to her bio, she is only 15 years old, so I don't think you should recommend to her to disobey her parents.

Audiofuzzy

I am all for looking different but I happen to think that large holes in ears are extremely ugly. I don't understand what is pretty about the skin streched beyond limits, making it look like a thin straps of jerky meat and just but gaping hole in the middle.
Also I've wondered about the safety - what if something catches in and pulls the remining skin? ouchhhhh.

I can understand little things like nose, brow, lip. tongue, belly button, nipples even but gaping holes in ears- no.


As for 15 y. old getting any body alterations - my advice is WAIT. You may think you like it- NOW,
but two years from now you may change your opinion but the scars will be there forever.
You are not going to like it if you will expect to have nice smooth skin everywhere....
a scar here, a scar there, there's the scar scar here's scar scar,
scarsy ugly scars everywhere...

Fuzzy

horselover61

15 yrs old hummmmmmmmmmm, Let me tell ya. I am a single mom and I wouldnt let my son go extreme that far. Just limit. As for right now I wouldnt let him do anything with his body. Not til he is 18 yrs old. But if you are living with your parents, well the rules applied to them and you must obey their rules til you are 18. Rules are rules. Stick with it. I can understand you hated it but think about this what if your kids want to go extreme worse then you are right now and would you allow them or would you want them to obey your rules in your house?? I always say those thing to my son. But maybe some kids may not want a kids someday.

But remmy this the scar will always be there for the rest of your life. The only way to get rid of the scar is by surgery and that cost $$$$.

__________________
Check out my city!!


http://furbyland.myminicity.com/

Tousi

Listen to your Mother, right or wrong (in your mind, that is). One of the ugliest fads to come down the pike as far as I'm concerned but whatever floats yer boat!

apathrev

I think a 15 year old is perfectly capable of making decisions about her own appearence. If you happened to be here parent, would you pick out her clothes for her? Tell her how to do her hair? Tell her she can't wear make up?

Again, stretchings your lobes is not permanent. Take a piercing out for long enough, it will close up. It is not a tattoo. And how do you know she'll grow out of it and dislike it in the future? My family said I'd grow out of liking punk rock quicly. Almost six years later, I still love it.

Parents are not always right in the decisions they make for us. And judging by your parent's excuses, I'd guess they're nothing more than worried how you appearence would reflect back on them by their peers. 15 years old is a perfectly old enough age to think for yourself and make your own decisions. I'm sure if they'd know the facts and did a little thinking past themselves they'd be more than willing.

Audiofuzzy

Again, stretchings your lobes is not permanent. Take a piercing out for long enough, it will close up.

Well consider this:

""Maximum size that will heal up (otherwise known as the ‘growing up’ complex)

This question pops up quite regularly, and unfortunately, the answer is extremely vague. Everyone’s body is different, and therefore everyone’s lobes will shrink up to a different point. Generally speaking, 2 gauge is widely considered the “point of no return” - where your lobes become significantly less likely to heal even to the size of a standard earring.

Stretching is not an exact science and should not be taken lightly. There is never any guarantee that your ears will shrink back up. If you are going to stretch, please make sure that you will be comfortable at that size as an old wrinkly person, and with having your children and grandchildren ask you why you have huge holes in your ears. ""

http://onetribe.nu/catalog/stretching.php

I suggest anyone who is considering doing ear gauging first to do enough research before commiting to it.

Parents are not always right in the decisions they make for us. And judging by your parent's excuses, I'd guess they're nothing more than worried how you appearence would reflect back on them by their peers. 15 years old is a perfectly old enough age to think for yourself and make your own decisions.

Lolololololol.....

Fuzzy

Lil_country_gal

On that note that's what my parents do they think by letting me do this i'm gonna become full goth sorry no i do not look good in black lol and that's what i've been trying to tell my parents i honestly don't think i'm gonna go past and 8 so why freak cause it will go back

__________________
Put some excitement between your legs.... Ride a Horse

Laicy Always and Forever

Lil_country_gal

I'm also thinking if the don't let me get my cousins i will create my own with clay

__________________
Put some excitement between your legs.... Ride a Horse

Laicy Always and Forever

Reba

In your opinion you might think she is old enough but under the law she is a minor and she lives with her parents, so she must obey their rules.

I would have veto power in her decisions.

So? You are not her parent. You are not responsible for her well-being. You really shouldn't encourage her to rebel against her parents' decisions. If you want to give her suggestions for appealing to her parents, that's fine. But you are really out of line telling her to do whatever she wants regardless of her parents' wishes.

tegumi

If I counted them right, I have 6 friends that have their ears gauged, with the biggest being 00 gauge. 4 boys, and 2 girls, and the girls have the plugs with the holes in the middle to where you can wear regular earrings. I wanted to get my ears gauged a while back, but I dont even have my ears pierced, and although I like the look, piercings arent really my thing, im more of a tattoo person. Not to mention, now I work for the government, and interact with a variety of active duty military, and retirees on a daily basis, and they frown upon these kind of styles. Also, I believe it might state somewhere in the dress code that this is not allowed. My Deaf friend has his ears gauged to an 8, and has the clear plugs. When most people notice his ears gauged, they usually notice his earmolds and HA's at the same time, and ask him stupid questions like "Can you still hear when you wear those?" as if the "If you're deaf, why do you wear HA's?" isnt bad enough....

apathrev

My knowledge of stretching is based on the fact I can probably named 20 close friends of mine right off the bat who have stretched, let closed up, and stretched again. I know people who have stretched up to an inch and a half.

apathrev

8g is absolutely nothing to fret over. I had my ears pieced at 10. 8g is approximately 3.2 millimeters, which would no doubt close up when you're ready to take them out. In fact, when I had 8g in, you could barely notice them.

apathrev

Bad idea. Plugs are created with specific sizes, lengths, and materials, and are made for the purpose of jewelry. Making your own would be not only a hard task, but it would also create a health risk.

Have you considered alternatives? Such as illusion plugs? They are 16g (standard piercing size), but the ends appear to be 0g.

Like I said I have several old smaller gauges I'd be willing to sterilize and send you if you wanted. I even have some tapers I swiped from my roommate for 6g and 8g.

apathrev

Who makes laws? Just other people with opinions. Regardless of what the law says concerning parental rights, there is no law forbidding her from gauging her ears, and there are no legal penalities for her doing so. And to be quite honest, I think its something her parents would not even notice, as stretching is a slow, gradual process, and the gauge she's stated she wishes to stretch is not all that larger than standard 16g.

I'm simply stating my opinion. I've always been a rebellious individual, and one to question authority. I'm encouraging her to think for herself. You think that's out of line, then whatever.

Reba

Another bad idea. A 15-year-old should never give her home address to any adult that she has just met on-line.

Really Cental, I don't understand why you are trying to undermine the authority of the parents of this child. You are old enough to know better.

Reba

No, you were not just encouraging her to think for herself. You were encouraging her to take an action, to disobey her parents. That is very different.

apathrev

Yep. Parent's lock your doors. Don't take candy from strangers.

I'm 5 years older than her. You consider her a child? I'd personally be offended by that statement. I can't count how many times I heard "oh you're just a baby" when I told people I was turning 20 this past October.

apathrev

I'm encouraging her to do something she wants to do, regardless of what other people say or think. She understands the consequences and risks of her actions. Her parents are expecting her to behave a certain way and be the kind of person they want her to be, and live within their set boundaries. That is something I disagree with.

Reba

I guess you haven't been keeping up with the news about on-line dangers to teenagers. It is not a joke.

What does your age have to do with it? Yes, she is legally a child. That is the law whether or not you like it.

Why? It's the truth. Nothing wrong with that.

Like I said, you are old enough to know better, and this thread is not about you.

Lil Country Gal wrote:

"what are your opinions on this matter?

And if you have gauged ears how can i convince my parents?"

She just wanted to know how to convince her parents to let her stretch her lobes. If you want to advise her on that, fine. But telling her to disobey her parents is not your place. Parents and teens have enough problems without strangers encouraging their kids to disobey and rebel. Protecting their kids' privacy (such as addresses) is a major problem now. That is exactly the reason why many parents cut off their kids' access to the internet. They can't trust the people that their kids contact.

Reba

While she is a minor, and living at home, of course they expect her to live within their set boundaries. They are responsible for her training, health and safety, they pay the bills, and they are obligated to take care of her. When she turns 18, moves out, and supports herself, she can do what she wants. In the meantime, she can present her case, try to convince her parents or work out a compromise, and then obey their decision.

Miss-Delectable

*nodding* I agree with ya. That's not a fashion statement. It's a form of self-mutiliation.

__________________
"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."
- Helen Keller

psalm91:5

me not like it

apathrev

My age was brought up by you. You're the one who stated "you're old enough to know better."

Tousi

Cental, your'e way out of line; youv'e overstepped the boundaries.....

Audiofuzzy

>>My knowledge of stretching is based on the fact I can probably named 20 close friends of mine right off the bat who have stretched, let closed up, and stretched again. I know people who have stretched up to an inch and a half.>>


CENTAL,

20 out of .. 20? or 20 out of 200? or 2000?

Do you GUARANTEE that the girl in question won't be unfortunate 21'st who'se holes doesn't close up?

Just because you have some personal experience does NOT mean the site I gave link to is not based on someone else personal experience, too.
I would say I'd rather trust a professional who does hundreds of gauging per year than a private, most likely not professional person like you.



But really, that discussion is pointless because of this simple fact which few pple already pointed out- the girl is a minor.

Under the law, the shop who does the gauging will need parent's written permission to do this. At least it should do so. I'm pretty sure if otherwise whoever goes ahead and do any body alteration, piercing, tatoo, w/o parent's permission to a minor is gonna lost in the court.
That means, under the law, her parents are responsible for her, and she needs her parents permisson to do anything. Even how to dress because after all it's the parents who pay for her clothes. For her make-up too, for everything. They understand the implication of dressing code. They know for example why it is not good to wear revealing clothes for 15 years old.

And even if she distribute newspapers and have her own money, she still needs her parent's permission as per to what to wear and buy.
because if we will think along the lines- "she works, it's her money, she can do with them what she wants" - she can go ahead and buy alcohol, drugs - it's her money.


There is more than money and rules to children-parents relationship, though.
A child is supposed to trust it's parents to do what is best for them children. Chidlren should trust their parents, and respect their rules and suggestion.
If the parents say NO, they should trust that it is in their (child) best interest,
And likewise, parents should not merely use their power because they can, but consider the child and the circumstances carefully in order to come to the best conclusion/solution. How can you butt in and encourage a minor to do against her parents? Who are responsible for her well being?


I know out there there is many underage kids pierced, gauged, roaming freely late at night but that does not mean it's OK to encourage one more 15 y. old girl to go ahead an pierce her ears against her parents wishes.
If as you say you are 5 years older, that means you are 20ty, you're an adult now, and you should KNOW WELL that 15 years old is still a CHILD.
She may look like she's mature and she may act like she's mature, but the truth is she's only NOT QUITE MATURE 15 years old who should respect her parents rules.
Nothing's gonna stop her from fulfilling her dreams of having gauged ears a few years later!! IF she still WILL want it.

I suspect though, most likely, despite your age, I think you simply didn't matured yourself. You may be 20 but your mind is still... 15.
If you were 20 AND mature then you would know that it's YOUR DAMN RESPONSIBILTY AS AN ADULT to encourage her to listen to her parents, NOT disobey !!
And, for crissake, to offer a 15 year old naivette to give a stranger (it's YOU!!!) her address over internet, at that !!
don't you know that's what perverts do?

Fuzzy

apathrev

How do you know she'd even want them to close up? No matter if they close up or not, they will still shrink back to standard size, which, correct me if I'm wrong, is normal for females into American society to have their ears pierced.

Professionals will tell her the same thing. Several of those friends I know whom have stretched, work in tattoo and piercing parlors. And 8g (like she stated she wanted to stretch to) is not a big stretch at all.

You people are all acting like she isn't capable of making her own decisions, and that she is a gentle, immature child, incapable of decision making. Sbe's akready stated her parent's reasons are because they're afraid of how it would reflect on them. So parents' must be obeyed, no matter how selfish and irrational the decisions they make for their children are? There is no law forbidding gauging. If she was going to have her ears pierced, yeah, she'd have to have parental permission.

Like I said, I completely support free will. I believe if you earn your own money, you should have the right to spend it however you want. Its your own personal responsbility of how you spend it.


We're talking about ear gauging, not her going out getting shitfaced and sleeping around. If she was asking "how do I convince my parent's that marijuana is alright," do you really think I'd hold the same stance. "Mother knows best," is not a universal truth, only socially accepted truth.


There's that word again. "Child, child child."

I try to make it a point to avoid cliches, but... you don't know me. I'm irresponsible? Is that what you think? I've been working and paying for my own clothes, food, and everything since I was 15. I knew what responsbility was earlier than the average teenager does. And that has nothing to even do with this topic. So stop attacking my credibility and maturity level.

I just love how I automatically get classified with internet stalkers and perverts because I offered to send a pair of plugs to her.

I've stated my case, and I've seen all the outrage over my advice. If you don't like it, don't agree, or think I'm out of line, then fine, whatever. PM me and we can discuss it there. This thread has been derailed because I don't share the mainstream social views of parental control, and that is not fair to the thread's author. You think I'm offering bad advice? Don't tell me. Tell the person I offered advice to do, and offer her possible solutions to rectify her problem. I'm through with this "parental disobedience" topic. Got it?

Lil_country_gal

I love how this fight is going on with out me lol you may proceed i'm still going mostly with cental on this fight though except the whole sending plugs deal

__________________
Put some excitement between your legs.... Ride a Horse

Laicy Always and Forever

apathrev

In the 20's it was considered sexually and perversive for woman to display their ankles.

An example of self mutilation would be someone cutting themselves, causing damage to their body, etc. with the intention of hurting themselves. Stretching originated in Africa, where it is tradition for natives to stretch piercings, in their ears, their nose, their lips. Do you consider these cultural practices self mutilation. Do you consider piercing your ears self mutiliation? Getting a tattoo?