Losing a Friend...over Alcohol.

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

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What to do...if anything....she drinks daily, evening and night....Is the neighborhood "drunk"....when I observed her attempting to take several pills when she was already "plastered" (drunk), I did intervene and told her not to do that, it was dangerous....She replied..."I've always done it and I will always do it!"....Of course, I was worried that one day she wouldn't wake up....her health (at age 48) is bad....legs and ankles swollen all the time (from alcohol abuse).....

Recently, she went to visit her daughter out of state for 2 weeks...however, after 2 days, her daughter made her leave....she was drunk for 2 days straight....

I confided in an other neighbor that was "good friends" with her....and she did talk to her....to no avail.....She turned around and got mad at me for doing so!....Saying it was "not none of my business!"

Suggesting Rehab?....I've done that....she says "No way!"...I'm happy and I'll die happy".....

So....I'm letting it go...and whenever she comes knocking on my door, drunk...I don't answer the door....
 
Sorry you are losing a friend because of alcohol. Sounds like you've tried to help and haven't come to this decision easily. Maybe when no one answers the door, your friend will make some changes and get help.

Substance abuse isn't easy to witness, especially when you obviously care so much.

Stutter
 
Someone being in denial is hard to deal with. She's only making it worse for herself and everyone involved. Alcoholic impairs her judgments.. it's like a poison into your body and kills your liver.

Something happened to her situation made her drinking heavily and ignoring everyone else's trying to help.
 
I hear you rockin'robin. It will be hard turning her away. You'll feel badly doing so. You'll feel conflicted, wondering if you're hurting her. You'll feel guilty and sad. I know how you feel. I had just been through that emotional wringer breaking up from my friendship with a toxic best friend with substance abuse issues.

I think you are definitely doing the right thing by not answering the door. You don't need her verbal abuse and other bullcrap. She's toxic. You're not her therapist. Keep your distance ok? You are not hurting her no matter what guilt trips she's laying onto you.

I'm sorry for being so brutally honest rockin'robin. It's just that I would hate to see you get drawn into something that has an excellent chance of harming your emotional wellbeing.

Yeah don't answer that door.

Stay strong!
 
sheri363 said:
I hear you rockin'robin. It will be hard turning her away. You'll feel badly doing so. You'll feel conflicted, wondering if you're hurting her. You'll feel guilty and sad. I know how you feel. I had just been through that emotional wringer breaking up from my friendship with a toxic best friend with substance abuse issues.

I think you are definitely doing the right thing by not answering the door. You don't need her verbal abuse and other bullcrap. She's toxic. You're not her therapist. Keep your distance ok? You are not hurting her no matter what guilt trips she's laying onto you.

I'm sorry for being so brutally honest rockin'robin. It's just that I would hate to see you get drawn into something that has an excellent chance of harming your emotional wellbeing.

Yeah don't answer that door.

Stay strong!
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Thank You!
 
It is hard to deal with people who have bad habits that are not conducive to one's health (both physical and spiritual) as well as the friendships this one has with others. Too many people rely on alcohol to dissipate of their problems, but when they wake up in the morning, their problems are still staring right at them in the face. Some people will not ever change because they are simply blind to their ill-fated decisions.
 
respectyoda said:
It is hard to deal with people who have bad habits that are not conducive to one's health (both physical and spiritual) as well as the friendships this one has with others. Too many people rely on alcohol to dissipate of their problems, but when they wake up in the morning, their problems are still staring right at them in the face. Some people will not ever change because they are simply blind to their ill-fated decisions.
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I'm drinking beers everyday and I don't have a problem.

I love beer's tastes.
 
how about saying 'why you hurting yourself?' drinking is okay when no problems, but not okay if every minute and every day, do you want to go to disneyland?'
something like that see what happens
 
or called hospital to commit her? sorry thats extreme...but it might save her life....
 
Can't commit someone to a hospital here unless they do it willingly Grummer. Pretty much the only way to be forcibly committed is if she is mentally unwell through a Baker act, sadly. That might work, if she is acting odd or mentally off. There are other ways if she is a suicide risk, but those fall under the Baker act or other smaller clauses... it's very hard to get someone committed without their consent.
 
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hmmmmm.......sad
RR, dont shut yourself off completely or YOU might get hurt....just saying...real icky i know....hmmmm not good
 
Addiction can take over someone's life in such that the only thing they care about is their addiction. It becomes a full time job for them and they lose everything in their lives. I am sorry about your friend but at least you wont be enabling her anymore.
 
Grummer said:
hmmmmm.......sad
RR, dont shut yourself off completely or YOU might get hurt....just saying...real icky i know....hmmmm not good
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Grum...I'm not hurt...just sad but this will pass....I do know I've tried for months to help her but she does not want the help. Never a day went by without smelling alcohol on her, not beer, but alcohol...she starts early in the AM and drinks all day and night until she is "slopping" drunk.

Nothing wrong with having a drink or a beer...but know your limitations is another thing....and drinking all day and night, every day...is a sure thing that something is wrong, but she is in so much 'denial'....has several DUI's and no driver's license....but still drives, mainly to the liquor store....

Something will happen...she'll wind up in jail and be forced into Detox, or either pass from alcohol poisoning...whichever comes first....She's beyond my help.
 
If the addicted person is in denial or doesn't care, then there isn't much you can do for them. The only time outside forces can intervene (such as the police or medical facilities) is when someone's life is directly threatened.

I lost my father to alcohol addiction. It was the liver failure that finally did him in but previous to that he spend several years in bad health and destroyed relationships. He was a very intelligent man (engineer for private, government and military agencies) but he became paranoid and experiencing delusions from the affects of the alcohol. He died at age 66, on my 35th birthday. He absolutely would not listen to anyone's advice or accept any help. Even when he was hospitalized, he made "escape" attempts.

If the addict isn't self-motivated or at least cooperative, you are very limited in what you can do.
 
RR, I feel you. I'm in the same place with my baby sister only with drugs. We got in an argument on Sunday and she said some really hurtful things. I've decided that I'm done. I can't deal with the ups and downs and her paranoid thinking. She used to be my best friend and my confidante. Now she would rather live in flophouses with junkies. I can't express concern for her or her kids because she jumps down my throat and shuts me out.

I can't offer any advice because I'm just now starting this little journey and I'm heartbroken. I can offer my sympathy and support though since the situation is similar. Hopefully it gets better. :grouphug:
 
eirlys said:
RR, I feel you. I'm in the same place with my baby sister only with drugs. We got in an argument on Sunday and she said some really hurtful things. I've decided that I'm done. I can't deal with the ups and downs and her paranoid thinking. She used to be my best friend and my confidante. Now she would rather live in flophouses with junkies. I can't express concern for her or her kids because she jumps down my throat and shuts me out.

I can't offer any advice because I'm just now starting this little journey and I'm heartbroken. I can offer my sympathy and support though since the situation is similar. Hopefully it gets better. :grouphug:
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:hug:
 
rockin'robin said:
Grum...I'm not hurt...just sad but this will pass....I do know I've tried for months to help her but she does not want the help. Never a day went by without smelling alcohol on her, not beer, but alcohol...she starts early in the AM and drinks all day and night until she is "slopping" drunk.

Nothing wrong with having a drink or a beer...but know your limitations is another thing....and drinking all day and night, every day...is a sure thing that something is wrong, but she is in so much 'denial'....has several DUI's and no driver's license....but still drives, mainly to the liquor store....

Something will happen...she'll wind up in jail and be forced into Detox, or either pass from alcohol poisoning...whichever comes first....She's beyond my help.
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:hug:
 
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