Several things I don't like what hearing people did

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gotasl

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I'm really tired and sick when hearing people do this many times. I really hate what they did.

1. One hearing woman at the state university told me she has interest in learning ASL and learning about deaf people. We exchanged emails as I emailed her information about deaf people. At first, I thought I educated her about deaf people. I emailed her several times then she never respond. I felt like she's really wasting my time. I stopped emailing her and I deleted her email contact.

2. My hearing cousin told me he'll learn signs when he returns from Japan. When he returns, he didn't learn ASL. I feel like he breaks his promise. I told him I was upset with him because he broke his promise. He denied he broke his promise and told me I don't need to be upset with him. It's obvious he doesn't want to admit he breaks the promise.

3. One hearing woman worked at the grocery store and she often smiled at me when I ordered foods from the counter. We exchanged written notes and emails. I educated her about deaf people and ASL through emails. Then she never respond to my emails. I feel like I waste my time educating a hearing person who seems to be pretending to be in interest of learning ASL and deaf people.

4. My former professor at the state university asked me what's sign for gay in the classroom. I refused because I don't like when he wanted to learn a sign for dirty word. I chose not to explain to him because I prefer to let him figure out on his own. I want to make more hard on him as I'm not concerned about it.

Why do some hearing people do? Any ideas? What's your better suggestions to handle these similar situations?
 
Better idea is to tell hearing people who want to learn ASL and about Deaf Culture is to go to the ASL classes either at the college or at somewhere like the community center. There are Deaf teachers who are willing to teach them about ASL and Deaf Culture. You don't have to do that.

No more emailing to them, otherwise they lose interest in you. You are not alone.
 
gotasl said:
I'm really tired and sick when hearing people do this many times. I really hate what they did.

1. One hearing woman at the state university told me she has interest in learning ASL and learning about deaf people. We exchanged emails as I emailed her information about deaf people. At first, I thought I educated her about deaf people. I emailed her several times then she never respond. I felt like she's really wasting my time. I stopped emailing her and I deleted her email contact.

2. My hearing cousin told me he'll learn signs when he returns from Japan. When he returns, he didn't learn ASL. I feel like he breaks his promise. I told him I was upset with him because he broke his promise. He denied he broke his promise and told me I don't need to be upset with him. It's obvious he doesn't want to admit he breaks the promise.

3. One hearing woman worked at the grocery store and she often smiled at me when I ordered foods from the counter. We exchanged written notes and emails. I educated her about deaf people and ASL through emails. Then she never respond to my emails. I feel like I waste my time educating a hearing person who seems to be pretending to be in interest of learning ASL and deaf people.

4. My former professor at the state university asked me what's sign for gay in the classroom. I refused because I don't like when he wanted to learn a sign for dirty word. I chose not to explain to him because I prefer to let him figure out on his own. I want to make more hard on him as I'm not concerned about it.

Why do some hearing people do? Any ideas? What's your better suggestions to handle these similar situations?
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I have had a couple of similar situations previously-- when people say they're interested in learning ASL, I don't just watch the hands and faces-- I watch the entire body language, and that'll tell me if the person REALLY wants to learn or just wants to waste my time, and if I'm seeing an excited face, but not a body wanting to learn a new language and culture, I don't bother. However, if I see the person super excited to want to learn, then that's worth my time. Body language means everything to me-- not just the hands and faces.
 
gotasl said:
I'm really tired and sick when hearing people do this many times. I really hate what they did.

1. One hearing woman at the state university told me she has interest in learning ASL and learning about deaf people. We exchanged emails as I emailed her information about deaf people. At first, I thought I educated her about deaf people. I emailed her several times then she never respond. I felt like she's really wasting my time. I stopped emailing her and I deleted her email contact.

2. My hearing cousin told me he'll learn signs when he returns from Japan. When he returns, he didn't learn ASL. I feel like he breaks his promise. I told him I was upset with him because he broke his promise. He denied he broke his promise and told me I don't need to be upset with him. It's obvious he doesn't want to admit he breaks the promise.

3. One hearing woman worked at the grocery store and she often smiled at me when I ordered foods from the counter. We exchanged written notes and emails. I educated her about deaf people and ASL through emails. Then she never respond to my emails. I feel like I waste my time educating a hearing person who seems to be pretending to be in interest of learning ASL and deaf people.

4. My former professor at the state university asked me what's sign for gay in the classroom. I refused because I don't like when he wanted to learn a sign for dirty word. I chose not to explain to him because I prefer to let him figure out on his own. I want to make more hard on him as I'm not concerned about it.

Why do some hearing people do? Any ideas? What's your better suggestions to handle these similar situations?
Click to expand...

Hi gotasl, welcome to alldeaf:)

I don't have suggestions, but I wanted to tell you that I'm glad you refused to show the professor how to sign gay. If someone is seriously studying the language and has a question here and there, that's great, but when they just want you to show them a couple words (especially certain words) it seems kind of cheap, and I think it's great you didn't let him do that.

Also, about your cousin - I'm sorry to hear he broke his promise. And even more, I don't like that he told you that you don't need to be upset. YOU decide how you feel, YOU say if you're upset or not. Other people don't have the right to tell you how to feel. I hate when people do that.

1 and 3: I don't know - it's frustrating when people drop out of an email conversation without any explanation. I think that's rude no matter what the subject. I don't know why they did it, but it seems alot of people have no manners about email conversations.

Anyway, I'm glad you're here.
 
gotasl said:
I'm really tired and sick when hearing people do this many times. I really hate what they did.

1. One hearing woman at the state university told me she has interest in learning ASL and learning about deaf people. We exchanged emails as I emailed her information about deaf people. At first, I thought I educated her about deaf people. I emailed her several times then she never respond. I felt like she's really wasting my time. I stopped emailing her and I deleted her email contact.

2. My hearing cousin told me he'll learn signs when he returns from Japan. When he returns, he didn't learn ASL. I feel like he breaks his promise. I told him I was upset with him because he broke his promise. He denied he broke his promise and told me I don't need to be upset with him. It's obvious he doesn't want to admit he breaks the promise.

3. One hearing woman worked at the grocery store and she often smiled at me when I ordered foods from the counter. We exchanged written notes and emails. I educated her about deaf people and ASL through emails. Then she never respond to my emails. I feel like I waste my time educating a hearing person who seems to be pretending to be in interest of learning ASL and deaf people.

4. My former professor at the state university asked me what's sign for gay in the classroom. I refused because I don't like when he wanted to learn a sign for dirty word. I chose not to explain to him because I prefer to let him figure out on his own. I want to make more hard on him as I'm not concerned about it.

Why do some hearing people do? Any ideas? What's your better suggestions to handle these similar situations?
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ok ill dive in.
point 1. look man, really people have a life to lead. who knows whats goign on with people. your first mistake is to e mail several times. dont do that man!!! if shes a chick thats the worst thing to do. e mail her. once. say your thing. thats it. what ever. if she doesnt reply so what? she will if shes interested if she doesnt all cool.

point 2 get over it. so yoru cousin comes back from japan and doesnt pick up a couple of signs? so what? dont be so insecure!!!

point 3 now you have another girl not responding to you. mmmmm maybe thats a hint. have you ever thought it might be how you are "educating" them about deaf? maybe she didnt want to be educated, maybe she wanted instead to have fun or get tot know you or what ever. "educating" can for many many be the bigest turn off.

point 4. the sign for "gay"isnt a dirty sign. its a sign of our language. nothing wrong with sharing a sign if people ask. my idea here is regardless if hearing people take up sign or not the more asl they are exposed to, the better it is for us. whats the sign for "i see dead people" here you go. "whats the sign for "your smoookin!!" here you go.........ect ect when you get good at it. interacting with hearing people you find attractive make a game of it. its easy. a hot chick asks whats the sign for this" well ill show you but its not for free.......and its better in candle light, i know a wicked spot not to far........ go with it.
 
Is this situation your first time?

If it were me, i dont sweat it about what you just said. i guess i grew up in a hearing world and knows how they are pretty well. Of course I am in a Deaf world all my life, and continue to be. I admit that if any hearing people wants to learn ASL, and i said, " great and do your best, if you give up on ASL don't feel bad about it. " I don't care if they talk about how fascinating ASL is all about. Blah blah blah. I just nicely nod at those people.

Life is so short. maybe i am too nice.

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hey...............that kitty cat..............thats kinda what i did in Amsterdam when i lost my phone...
mmmmm
 
Why do they do it? Mostly, they are just being polite. It's like someone saying, "we should get together in the new year", they're just making conversation. In return, you should be polite as well and give them any information they may need.
 
gotasl said:
I'm really tired and sick when hearing people do this many times. I really hate what they did.

1. One hearing woman at the state university told me she has interest in learning ASL and learning about deaf people. We exchanged emails as I emailed her information about deaf people. At first, I thought I educated her about deaf people. I emailed her several times then she never respond. I felt like she's really wasting my time. I stopped emailing her and I deleted her email contact.

2. My hearing cousin told me he'll learn signs when he returns from Japan. When he returns, he didn't learn ASL. I feel like he breaks his promise. I told him I was upset with him because he broke his promise. He denied he broke his promise and told me I don't need to be upset with him. It's obvious he doesn't want to admit he breaks the promise.

3. One hearing woman worked at the grocery store and she often smiled at me when I ordered foods from the counter. We exchanged written notes and emails. I educated her about deaf people and ASL through emails. Then she never respond to my emails. I feel like I waste my time educating a hearing person who seems to be pretending to be in interest of learning ASL and deaf people.

4. My former professor at the state university asked me what's sign for gay in the classroom. I refused because I don't like when he wanted to learn a sign for dirty word. I chose not to explain to him because I prefer to let him figure out on his own. I want to make more hard on him as I'm not concerned about it.

Why do some hearing people do? Any ideas? What's your better suggestions to handle these similar situations?
Click to expand...

What do you mean by gay, being a 'dirty' word'?? Did your professor think being gay was dirty ???
 
Oh, just a hole on the road. Chicago has many of those holes. If you moved to Chicago or some places, then you'll get used to those holes.
 
As a person with profound hearing loss and having been in very similar frustrating situations myself, my advice would be no matter how frustrating or cross you may feel about not hearing back from other people try not to take it personally.

After years of daily isolated incidents of social exclusion and hearing people not getting back I at one point eventually began to assume that people were ignoring me and I began to question whenever it was me as a person and my hearing loss that people didn't like.

When really it could be a number of reasons why they haven't responded (busy, forgot their login, left the computer on, didn't hear you) not necessarily you as a person or your hearing loss that they don't like.

Interestingly I mentioned this to other deaf friends and they took an entirely different approach to it, unlike taking it personally they said if they didn't hear back from someone they just repeated the question or their words even louder to make sure they heard it! :D

You did the right thing not getting in contact again after sending another email to them, if they don't get back that's their problem not yours. You're not alone with this, lots of us go through it on a daily basis.

Ultimately I think it's how you learn to deal with it that will make a difference.
 
hoichi said:
which hole in whos Chicago?
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I was just saying that holes on roads in Chicago are bigger than number of hearing people who are ignorant about deafness and ASL. I hardly worry about holes. Hearing people who are ignorant with ASL don;'t share a room in my brain.
 
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