Ambiguity in aspects of Identity

Grummer

Grummer

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Hi Folks,
I have been reading some interesting materials, widely and deeply with as much restraints on myself not to read heavily Deaf-oriented texts...one particular article got me wondering...and I'm not even sure how to ask this.

i propose to ask this question to those of you who use speech and use of CI or HA, it doesnt matter which so long you have an oral mode of communication to which your speech is 'intelligable' that you are sometimes perceived as hearing by people who did not know you well, or at all.

Does this seem to suggest you might have some ambiguity as to whether you think of yourselves as deaf or hearing?

At what degree and at what duration, (week days at work, at club meetings with hearings, weekends with families? ) Do you recognise yourselves as an intrinsically deaf person, in the sense that you cannot hear without their implant or Hearing aids, to that you KNow you are physically deaf..but have a hearing mind or a deaf mind? or some where in between? like hearing-imparied mind or like did you have had some quirky personality from the way you grew up to think , pick up a hobby to BE as you are or to compensate your deafness (like you can't play music so you took painting instead from a musically inclined family?) or that you 'felt more at home with like minded similar deaf persons who can TALK and and talk about hearing subjects but have difficulty with Deaf because subject wise you cant talk about it, and that might also mean you cant talk with hearing people, but for the 'subjects' you interested in they (hearings) are too difficult to get along, snobby or just plain 'them'.

Or are you an instrinsically Deaf person who demonstrate a culturally deaf identity, but what are they? (ok similar example as above)...but talk about Deaf thingys gossips, and what about highly thinking-demanding subjects um...that a hearing person might have difficulty to talk to you about it because sign is just easier ??


So...back to the first question.>
Does this seem to suggest you might have some ambiguity as to whether you think of yourselves as deaf or hearing?

im curious about the more overlapping areas between identity and cultures and what is means to be deaf or Deaf ...

hope you all find this interesting too, and PLEASE NO FIGHTING OR I WILL ask Mods to remove you from the thread. That said I welcome oral deaf here too, because it is the dimension of how hearing people percieve of you as a hearing or deaf person and how far? and how much are you feeling totally or partially accepted in the hearing world (and in other cases in the Deaf world too)
OK, now roll on...
 
Grummer said:
.

i propose to ask this question to those of you who use speech and use of CI or HA, it doesnt matter which so long you have an oral mode of communication to which your speech is 'intelligable' that you are sometimes perceived as hearing by people who did not know you well, or at all.

...
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COUNT ME OUT. I am an ASL user. :aw:
 
Frisky Feline said:
COUNT ME OUT. I am an ASL user. :aw:
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yes,
two things...
1)if you have no HA and they DONT know you at all in supermarket , say you bumped them and carry on like a tiny innocent accident you wouldnt hear "bitch" called out ...so indeed it take a while (maybe never for the hearies to find out you're deaf or Deaf (doesnt matter hearies dont know difference)
2) why is it that you say ASL user ?? I guess its silly to say ASL speaker or speak ASL...but USE? i mean thats abit like the language is 'seen as a tool, not as a Language"...so I reckon something else is better say ...
ASL signer??! I sign ASL...i dunno just it's 'food for thoughts'??
cheers!
 
Grummer said:
yes,
two things...
1)if you have no HA and they DONT know you at all in supermarket , say you bumped them and carry on like a tiny innocent accident you wouldnt hear "bitch" called out ...so indeed it take a while (maybe never for the hearies to find out you're deaf or Deaf (doesnt matter hearies dont know difference)
2) why is it that you say ASL user ?? I guess its silly to say ASL speaker or speak ASL...but USE? i mean thats abit like the language is 'seen as a tool, not as a Language"...so I reckon something else is better say ...
ASL signer??! I sign ASL...i dunno just it's 'food for thoughts'??
cheers!
Click to expand...

LOL I do wear my HA, and sometimes i hear repeatly of the sounds that i realize something that is behind me. Sometimes, if I sign in saying, " oh im sorry I didn't see you". I notice that they often get red face. :D Either they could have said nasty things to me until they realize that I m Deaf or they could been in a "deer in the highlights". lol

Its easier for me to say, ah, I am an ASL user. If i say, I don't speak they would think i couldnt communicate at all. WRONG! ASL is just a language and its a commuincation method. :)
 
Interesting question .. there's no easy way to answer .. I for a long time denied my deafness to the hearing world and vice versa to my deaf friends. I identified with both worlds and learned both culture and language. Didn't start wearing hearing aid until I found a way a loophole for qualifying for the job I have had for 17 years. But it does not help me understand any spoken words. Just a bunch of noise. So I would say yeah it did affect my identity as who am I part of? Who do I side with most. Etc etc. So I've learnt its more important to survive and remain independent. So im always adjusting towards what allows me to be part of it. Whether it deaf of hearing. Only a few people really know me for me than who im identified as part of.
Yeah it happens all the time ill be reading lips and talking and because they turned their head or I walked away .. hey hey hey oh u asshole to my back and I turn around and say did u say something. And they take it as me being sarcastic but ill say im deaf and suddenly a new game begins. People are funny. And if a deaf person saw me interact with hearing they might label me hoh. Or something but soon awnings sign to them and respond with my face suddenly confuse them and say wait ur coda. Lol. Ill have to explain no im deaf but learnt to survive by reading lips and talk etc. Sorry if im blabbing
 
rockin'robin said:
Feel those who are late-deafened have the mind-set of a hearie.....
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Yeah I was thinking I can't really answer this.........I'm still pretty new to profound deaf, up until a few months ago I could at least hear myself talk without my hearing aids, nothing else but still......I don't know if that was really with my ears....but no more, nothing.

It's odd really, I know I'm deaf, I tell people I'm deaf, my family thinks of me as deaf. A few months ago my sister posted on facebook that she's grateful for facebook for helping her keep in touch with her deaf sister. They don't use the phrase Hoh for me. But I don't really feel like fundamentally changed. My identity didn't through an overhaul because I went deaf, the only difference is I can't hear. But yeah I guess there's some ambiguity there.

I don't know quite how to explain how others may think of me. They'd think of me as deaf, or Hoh because I can and do get by with my hearing aids. But I wonder how well I would do with them if I had been born with the loss I have now. I think I might be like others here, I don't think I'd recognize the speech sounds enough to piece together what I'm hearing. If that makes sense, I think it might just be noise. I don't think people talking to me really understand how much I'm missing sometimes. Anyway......I don't think many hearing people would separate it quite like that, hearie/deafie, like it came with a different mindset or identity. They just don't think about deafness the way you guys do. See I'm still doing it, I'm deaf, but don't quite fit with either group, but since I do still rely on what little I can hear, I guess in ways I still think of myself as hearing as well.

This is confusing me Grummer, good question ;)
 
yeah it would be confusing for you, i cant imagine what's it like to be formerly a hearing person...but culturally you are still *hearing*..but this seems to be fading for you as you wouldn't enjoy music as you once did or 'IN-the-hearing-world-without-the isolating experiences'...like you didnt have to 'worry about it' like it now like an uninvited stranger in your house -pernamently...i guess you'd jsut have to 'make freinds with that stranger' for its in *your house* (reading mind/cultural?your body/your life your social activities list goes on).
I have been reading a little on ambiguity of identity...and I'd hope there will be mroe research on this....because in future CI's (as it improves ((and no i dont want one)) leave me be natural and that its useless to me as im NOT a culurally Deaf nor a culturally Hearing...er...im a 'culturally HOH' in a weird way but I still appreciate Deaf politics - probably more so than more 'self-proclaimed Deaf persons might) which shouldnt be surprising as I am a sociology academic (not working not thinking that far yet) and even at the just-now-spilled-out-bits of culturally HOH...needs exploring too...BUT to confuse even more i am NOT a HOH...dont feel like one...duh so..just to say im confused too!!
 
Being someone who was born severely-deaf in an all-hearing environment and raised oral I guess you can say I can understand the mindset of Hearing people. Hearing see me as hard-of-hearing because I can hear loud noise but not speech. Their concept of deaf is stone-deaf (cannot hear anything at all - complete silence). They generally see me as hearing as I have grown up speaking. Up to 2009, I saw myself as a 'broken' Hearie because that is how everyone around me views me even now. However when I finally discovered the Deaf Community, I discovered there were other people who had the same mindset as me, viewed things the same I did, and understood what I faced in life. I realized then I had an identity separate from the hearing world that I was struggling so hard to be a part of. So, now I have opted for that which comes naturally to me instead of being someone Im not.
 
I am not confused at my "identity". I am bilateral DEAF with a Cochlear Implant. It is very quiet/silence when I disconnect,

My Implant is very visible.
 
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drphil said:
I am not confused at my "identity". I am bilateral DEAF with a Cochlear Implant. It is very quiet/silence when I disconnect,

My Implant is very visible.
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we everyone know you identity real cochlear implant!:P

I observing to you. it is stranger seems look likes something all times everyday..

interesting to cochlear implant to cause serious mental!
I understand to respect to you hard. repeat on repeat on the sometimes hard to explain. know hard for you!
 
To date haven't "any mental" problems-"schizophrenia?"- since my Cochlear Implant operation. I don't expect any either. The future-for most of us-unknown.

A 6 year review at Sunnybrook/Toronto re Cochlear Implant-coming up soon.

To date no problems- thanks to the skill of Dr Joseph Chen-a professor of C I surgery at the University of Toronto.

Since I talk about MY experience which may not be the same as others- doesn't negate what I have keyed -so far.
 
Well, people do mistake me for hearing...

Before I found Deaf world, I was a hearie inside. I knew, however, that the hearing world didn't fit me, but I had never talked to anyone like me.... So I essentially taught myself how to lip read,how to read people's faces and bodies and predict what they would say next, and forced myself to survive in a world that I was not fit enough to survive. I still can't find any deaf people to socialize with in my small corner of the world, though, so I'm stuck with hearies. So I'm still playing the "Hearing Games."

I found Deaf World pretty recently. (About 1-2 years ago.) I loved it at first sight, but could never get any resources to learn ASL, or learn Deaf culture. I learned a bunch of signs from ASLpro and Signing Savvy and googled a bunch more rules and stuff, and signed really, really loose PSE.

AllDeaf has shown me so much though. I'm actually learning TRUE ASL right now, thanks to multiple resources I've found on here, and I've been able to find bits and pieces about Deaf World.

I don't know how to classify myself right now. I'm torn apart between two worlds, Hearing and Deaf. I am not exactly HOH, deaf, or Deaf. I'm not a broken hearie.

I'm just Oink.
 
Oink said:
Well, people do mistake me for hearing...

Before I found Deaf world, I was a hearie inside. I knew, however, that the hearing world didn't fit me, but I had never talked to anyone like me.... So I essentially taught myself how to lip read,how to read people's faces and bodies and predict what they would say next, and forced myself to survive in a world that I was not fit enough to survive. I still can't find any deaf people to socialize with in my small corner of the world, though, so I'm stuck with hearies. So I'm still playing the "Hearing Games."

I found Deaf World pretty recently. (About 1-2 years ago.) I loved it at first sight, but could never get any resources to learn ASL, or learn Deaf culture. I learned a bunch of signs from ASLpro and Signing Savvy and googled a bunch more rules and stuff, and signed really, really loose PSE.

AllDeaf has shown me so much though. I'm actually learning TRUE ASL right now, thanks to multiple resources I've found on here, and I've been able to find bits and pieces about Deaf World.

I don't know how to classify myself right now. I'm torn apart between two worlds, Hearing and Deaf. I am not exactly HOH, deaf, or Deaf. I'm not a broken hearie.

I'm just Oink.
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:laugh2: good one, you do have to have a sense of humor to get by and conquer, admirable!
 
Grummer said:
:laugh2: good one, you do have to have a sense of humor to get by and conquer, admirable!
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Thanks, Grummer!
I feel that it's better to face troubles and confusion with a smile, rather than sobbing about it. :lol:
 
Growing up, many adults (family, teachers, and peers) put so much value on my speech skills and conveyed the message to me as a child that I am very smart because I have speech skills. As a result, I worked hard to perfect them so I won't get labeled dumb that usually was associated with the word, "deaf". After years of being told how smart I must be because of my good speech skills, I became deluded into thinking that the signing deaf were low functioning.

Come 4th grade when the subjects in my classes became more complex and socializing changed among my peers, I started having difficulty being the "hearing" person I believed to be. So, I tried harder and when I would vent my frustrations to the adults, they would tell me that I am not trying hard enough or in need to pay closer attention. That lead me into thinking I was "broken" and my self-esteem, started to go downhill.

That continued and by the time I was in my 20s, in hated myself and my deafness.

All that changed when I learned AsL and discovered the Deaf community even though my deaf brother grew up in that world. That led me to being angry at my family , the doctors, and teachers for denying me that right to full access to language and communication. I am no longer angry but I don't trust doctors, audiologists, and people who advocate for the oral-only approach so I try to spread the word that all deaf children should be given the opportunity to have both.

As for my identity..I identify myself as Deaf but with understanding of how hearing people think and how things work in the hearing world.
 
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