Deafness and isolation?

darkbunny101 · 07-16-2012, 12:31 PM

Do you feel isolated from society at times?

I am practically the only kid in my town with profound hearing loss; some are just hard of hearing or have mild hearing loss.

I just find it funny how people treat me differently when they find out I am deaf. I just keep it a secret from some of my peers, coaches, and teachers.

Other people treat me just the same. I like it when they do that.

Does the same thing happen to you at times?

**Bottesini** · 07-16-2012, 12:52 PM

I am the poster child for this! Lucky I have a big family.

dereksbicycles · 07-16-2012, 01:19 PM

Deaf ferrets, deaf cats, and deaf dogs don't worry about being isolated. They're glad to be themselves and give a lot of love.

If you can like yourself, you'll be fine. Don't worry about isolations.

deafdrummer · 07-16-2012, 04:44 PM

Hello!

I am Cave Woman... Because no one knew I was deaf until I was seven and a half! I went through church and the first 6 weeks of the first grade (AND kindergarten) without knowing what was going on NOR why I was there in the first place.

My memories of that time are still crystal-clear. I can still remember looking at easter eggs, toys, the bathtub toy that hung off the tub faucet, the cars that my parents drove in, the house we lived in, etc. without knowing that they were supposed to have names. I did not know the concept of time nor how to read a clock until I was past 9 years old. My Dad taught me how to read a clock that was hanging at a tire repair station across the diagonal corner from an HEB grocery store in south Texas. There was that absence of language and simply living, simply being. I can still access it, even in dreams when most of them don't involve language, just seeing each other or other people and doing things without saying anything. Like the inner voice is shut off during the dreams sometimes.

It has been a BITCH. Because I never developed refined relationship skills at the critical age, I was consigned to relationship failures and never being able to connect with people in the usual way. I would be right at home with cave people before they developed language.

As I have mentioned before, this worldview of a child that normally dies or goes dormant after being 3 years old never did, and it remained strong all these years because it was too late by the time I was found to be deaf. I can still remember before 3 years of age, when I was with Mom and Dad on a plane flight to go to my grandmother's funeral who died during the Christmas holidays. At one point, I was crawling on the aisle floor on hands and knees, and I was still small enough to look straight ahead under the seats to either side, and look up at an elderly couple who looked back at me in amused smiles. And the beautiful hostess in her blue uniform and blue cap, face made up and smiling at me. Then Mom sitting in the aisle seat on the right side of the plane and pointing out at the approaching ground covered in snow and the trees relatively uncovered (apparently, it snowed days before and the wind had blown the snow off over time). Dad was sitting in the seat to her right. I have a LOT of memories from this time forward.

This kind of linguistic isolation has created pretty unique effects on me.

**KristinaB** · 07-16-2012, 05:12 PM

I am becoming more and more isolated. I have my family and the errands I have to drive different family members to, but for anything else, I stay home these days. All Deaf socials in my area have cancelled for the summer.

**Smithtr** · 07-16-2012, 05:17 PM

i am lots of family many enjoy happy!! I am happy enjoy support impressive awesome family grow to lots building tree

Frisky Feline · 07-16-2012, 07:24 PM

No. I am an ASL user. Sure some of my relatives who knows nothing about ASL but we still manage to communicate some way. My immediately family knows some ASL. I have friends who are ASL users and hearing friends who knows ASL. Sure there are some people who knows nothing about Deaf culture but i dont let it bother me, for example. my kids who are hearing and attend to school or sports. most hearing parents do not know ASL and I dont care because sports or school aren't last long. I just show up for my kids and chat with some people who knows little ASL. I have never been lonely because i dont let it happen to me so i keep myself occupied.

darkbunny101 · 07-16-2012, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by deafdrummer

Hello!

I am Cave Woman... Because no one knew I was deaf until I was seven and a half! I went through church and the first 6 weeks of the first grade (AND kindergarten) without knowing what was going on NOR why I was there in the first place.

My memories of that time are still crystal-clear. I can still remember looking at easter eggs, toys, the bathtub toy that hung off the tub faucet, the cars that my parents drove in, the house we lived in, etc. without knowing that they were supposed to have names. I did not know the concept of time nor how to read a clock until I was past 9 years old. My Dad taught me how to read a clock that was hanging at a tire repair station across the diagonal corner from an HEB grocery store in south Texas. There was that absence of language and simply living, simply being. I can still access it, even in dreams when most of them don't involve language, just seeing each other or other people and doing things without saying anything. Like the inner voice is shut off during the dreams sometimes.

It has been a BITCH. Because I never developed refined relationship skills at the critical age, I was consigned to relationship failures and never being able to connect with people in the usual way. I would be right at home with cave people before they developed language.

As I have mentioned before, this worldview of a child that normally dies or goes dormant after being 3 years old never did, and it remained strong all these years because it was too late by the time I was found to be deaf. I can still remember before 3 years of age, when I was with Mom and Dad on a plane flight to go to my grandmother's funeral who died during the Christmas holidays. At one point, I was crawling on the aisle floor on hands and knees, and I was still small enough to look straight ahead under the seats to either side, and look up at an elderly couple who looked back at me in amused smiles. And the beautiful hostess in her blue uniform and blue cap, face made up and smiling at me. Then Mom sitting in the aisle seat on the right side of the plane and pointing out at the approaching ground covered in snow and the trees relatively uncovered (apparently, it snowed days before and the wind had blown the snow off over time). Dad was sitting in the seat to her right. I have a LOT of memories from this time forward.

This kind of linguistic isolation has created pretty unique effects on me.

Interesting. I never really learned how to talk until I was three and I do have memories like yours.

Perhaps the absence of language can reinforce our photographic memory since we cannot replace the objects with simple words?

But, yes it is frustrating. haha

drphil · 07-16-2012, 10:35 PM

The condition of DEAFness seems to be pretty obvious-one doesn't react when spoken to! Hard to fake that-to me anyways.

How does one deal with that fact-your choice.

Determine if suitable for a Cochlear Implant? use/learn ASL et al? Regress into passivity-helpless? Use electronic devices-lap tops. cell phone etc.

From Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto classes: Dealing/coping with your Hearing loss: be assertive!

Aside: I became bilateral DEAF December 20, 2006.

deafdrummer · 07-17-2012, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drphil

The condition of DEAFness seems to be pretty obvious-one doesn't react when spoken to! Hard to fake that-to me anyways.

Not if you have rudimentary lip reading skills. My parents didn't know anything about lip-reading and thusly wouldn't have suspected it when I could understand them a small part of the time. One of my sisters noticed it and tried to tell them, but they wouldn't speak to her for a year after that, until they called her and told her she was right.

drphil · 07-17-2012, 12:50 PM

Speechreading is difficult when one uses a hearing aid- I understand the ability to comprehend is about 30% while decreases substantially if one is DEAF.
aside my experience from actual tests score at CHS.After becoming bilateral DEAF-December/06 while waiting for Cochlear Implant determination-took the final course Mar/Apr 2007.

Speechreading was a unit of dealing with your Hearing loss at Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto

deafdrummer · 07-18-2012, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drphil

Speechreading is difficult when one uses a hearing aid- I understand the ability to comprehend is about 30% while decreases substantially if one is DEAF.

I'm sorry, Dr. Phil... I can't answer the question of how it's possible for me to do standard speech discrimination tests very well. I can carry on a conversation with most people, and even hearing people say they have a hard time understanding certain accents! There is something about my hearing loss that transcends the 30%. I don't know why it's possible.

drphil · 07-18-2012, 01:59 PM

deafdrummer: no need to apologize if over the average of 30%speechreading recognition. You are in this case benefiting being above "average". Hope it lasts a long time in your life.
Cheers

deafdyke · 07-18-2012, 09:04 PM

darkbunny, are you in high school? Maybe one thing you could do is spend a couple of years at your province's School for the Deaf........I remember feeling isolated in high school.....and it's not just profound kids....I can guantee you that the hoh kids feel exactly the way you do!

kristy2078 · 07-19-2012, 12:29 AM

I wasn't isolated, because I was always involved in something--youth sports, Girl Scouts (even Boy Scouts because of my brother), sleepovers with my hearing peers, camping, etc. Lunch period in high school was a different issue, because typically cliches show up and students went into their respective circles at lunch

I also had a job in high school, so that kept me in touch with the town folks. My parents were also involved with a lot of town stuff, so I was interacting with somebody.

DeafTim · 07-19-2012, 10:36 AM

It's tough to be deaf but look at it this way..we dont have to deal with drama as much.

I have a lot of peaceful quite days

darkbunny101 · 07-19-2012, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeafTim

It's tough to be deaf but look at it this way..we dont have to deal with drama as much.

I have a lot of peaceful quite days

Very true. lol

07-16-2012, 12:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
darkbunny101 Registered User Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 40	Deafness and isolation? Do you feel isolated from society at times? I am practically the only kid in my town with profound hearing loss; some are just hard of hearing or have mild hearing loss. I just find it funny how people treat me differently when they find out I am deaf. I just keep it a secret from some of my peers, coaches, and teachers. Other people treat me just the same. I like it when they do that. Does the same thing happen to you at times?

07-16-2012, 12:52 PM	#2 (permalink)
Bottesini Joe's Friend Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: With Owl Sock Posts: 37,515 Blog Entries: 1	I am the poster child for this! Lucky I have a big family. __________________

07-16-2012, 01:19 PM	#3 (permalink)
dereksbicycles Registered User Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: 60202 Posts: 3,787	Deaf ferrets, deaf cats, and deaf dogs don't worry about being isolated. They're glad to be themselves and give a lot of love. If you can like yourself, you'll be fine. Don't worry about isolations. KarissaMann05, Mimsy and codgirl98 like this.

07-16-2012, 04:44 PM	#4 (permalink)
deafdrummer Registered User Join Date: May 2009 Location: Preparing to evacuate from Houston, TX Posts: 1,010	Hello! I am Cave Woman... Because no one knew I was deaf until I was seven and a half! I went through church and the first 6 weeks of the first grade (AND kindergarten) without knowing what was going on NOR why I was there in the first place. My memories of that time are still crystal-clear. I can still remember looking at easter eggs, toys, the bathtub toy that hung off the tub faucet, the cars that my parents drove in, the house we lived in, etc. without knowing that they were supposed to have names. I did not know the concept of time nor how to read a clock until I was past 9 years old. My Dad taught me how to read a clock that was hanging at a tire repair station across the diagonal corner from an HEB grocery store in south Texas. There was that absence of language and simply living, simply being. I can still access it, even in dreams when most of them don't involve language, just seeing each other or other people and doing things without saying anything. Like the inner voice is shut off during the dreams sometimes. It has been a BITCH. Because I never developed refined relationship skills at the critical age, I was consigned to relationship failures and never being able to connect with people in the usual way. I would be right at home with cave people before they developed language. As I have mentioned before, this worldview of a child that normally dies or goes dormant after being 3 years old never did, and it remained strong all these years because it was too late by the time I was found to be deaf. I can still remember before 3 years of age, when I was with Mom and Dad on a plane flight to go to my grandmother's funeral who died during the Christmas holidays. At one point, I was crawling on the aisle floor on hands and knees, and I was still small enough to look straight ahead under the seats to either side, and look up at an elderly couple who looked back at me in amused smiles. And the beautiful hostess in her blue uniform and blue cap, face made up and smiling at me. Then Mom sitting in the aisle seat on the right side of the plane and pointing out at the approaching ground covered in snow and the trees relatively uncovered (apparently, it snowed days before and the wind had blown the snow off over time). Dad was sitting in the seat to her right. I have a LOT of memories from this time forward. This kind of linguistic isolation has created pretty unique effects on me. darkbunny101 likes this.

07-16-2012, 05:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
KristinaB New SDIT Deacon Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Land of the backstroke Posts: 13,767	I am becoming more and more isolated. I have my family and the errands I have to drive different family members to, but for anything else, I stay home these days. All Deaf socials in my area have cancelled for the summer. __________________ Taking life one day at a time.

Today
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07-16-2012, 05:17 PM	#6 (permalink)
Smithtr Siberian Husky Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 14,643	i am lots of family many enjoy happy!! I am happy enjoy support impressive awesome family grow to lots building tree __________________

07-16-2012, 07:24 PM	#7 (permalink)
Frisky Feline Registered User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 20,206	No. I am an ASL user. Sure some of my relatives who knows nothing about ASL but we still manage to communicate some way. My immediately family knows some ASL. I have friends who are ASL users and hearing friends who knows ASL. Sure there are some people who knows nothing about Deaf culture but i dont let it bother me, for example. my kids who are hearing and attend to school or sports. most hearing parents do not know ASL and I dont care because sports or school aren't last long. I just show up for my kids and chat with some people who knows little ASL. I have never been lonely because i dont let it happen to me so i keep myself occupied.

07-16-2012, 10:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,107	The condition of DEAFness seems to be pretty obvious-one doesn't react when spoken to! Hard to fake that-to me anyways. How does one deal with that fact-your choice. Determine if suitable for a Cochlear Implant? use/learn ASL et al? Regress into passivity-helpless? Use electronic devices-lap tops. cell phone etc. From Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto classes: Dealing/coping with your Hearing loss: be assertive! Aside: I became bilateral DEAF December 20, 2006. __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-17-2012, 12:50 PM	#11 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,107	Speechreading is difficult when one uses a hearing aid- I understand the ability to comprehend is about 30% while decreases substantially if one is DEAF. aside my experience from actual tests score at CHS.After becoming bilateral DEAF-December/06 while waiting for Cochlear Implant determination-took the final course Mar/Apr 2007. Speechreading was a unit of dealing with your Hearing loss at Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-18-2012, 01:59 PM	#13 (permalink)
drphil Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Toronto Ontario Posts: 4,107	deafdrummer: no need to apologize if over the average of 30%speechreading recognition. You are in this case benefiting being above "average". Hope it lasts a long time in your life. Cheers __________________ Get Real:Implanted Sunnybrook/Toronto -Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

07-18-2012, 09:04 PM	#14 (permalink)
deafdyke Registered User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Trebekistan Posts: 13,078	darkbunny, are you in high school? Maybe one thing you could do is spend a couple of years at your province's School for the Deaf........I remember feeling isolated in high school.....and it's not just profound kids....I can guantee you that the hoh kids feel exactly the way you do!

07-19-2012, 12:29 AM	#15 (permalink)
kristy2078 Registered User Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: New Hampshire, USA Posts: 258	I wasn't isolated, because I was always involved in something--youth sports, Girl Scouts (even Boy Scouts because of my brother), sleepovers with my hearing peers, camping, etc. Lunch period in high school was a different issue, because typically cliches show up and students went into their respective circles at lunch I also had a job in high school, so that kept me in touch with the town folks. My parents were also involved with a lot of town stuff, so I was interacting with somebody.

07-19-2012, 10:36 AM	#16 (permalink)
DeafTim Registered User Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Utica,OH Posts: 2,327	It's tough to be deaf but look at it this way..we dont have to deal with drama as much. I have a lot of peaceful quite days darkbunny101 likes this. __________________ It might be,it could be...It is! A homerun! HOLY COW!! Harry Caray Mitt: I have 5 point plan President Obama: Mitt doesnt have 5 point plan, He has one point plan! (ZINGER) Mitt Romney is a scam!!

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