http://www.alldeaf.com/ en Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:45:31 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.alldeaf.com/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.alldeaf.com/ http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72251-ambition.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:03:58 GMT

*it's a pix of Savage Chicken. A chicken scornfully telling other chicken - You don't have enough ambition. He replied back - what about my dream of becoming the world's greatest rutabaga juggler? The other chicken said - silly ambition doesn't count. ]]> Jiro http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72251-ambition.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72226-droid-daycare.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:11:17 GMT Image: http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2720/4113434662_dc4131e45e_o.jpg :lol:

:lol: ]]> Jiro http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72226-droid-daycare.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72221-too-beautiful-not-share.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:10:12 GMT "Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Grandpa's computer, Amen." ]]> http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72221-too-beautiful-not-share.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72218-strange-one.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:52:47 GMT It not really joke or funny story just an observation.


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window? :confused: ]]> Partygirl http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72218-strange-one.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72212-such-anger-work.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 12:30:50 GMT *How To Quit Your Job (http://imgbit.com/i576)* Image: http://imgbit.com/images/4ac9508fa61244528027.jpg How To Quit Your Job
]]> Jiro http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72212-such-anger-work.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72204-call-sick-amnesia.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:33:28 GMT

*it's a comic strip of Savage Chicken. the context of this is that the chicken called in sick and claimed to have amnesia. Boss - "Then how did you know who to call?" Chicken - "um..........." caption - "Note to self: do not use amnesia as a sick day excuse" ]]> Jiro http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72204-call-sick-amnesia.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72203-pedestrians-guide-canada.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:30:41 GMT

to Canadians ADers - is this stereotype true???



*it's a comic strip of Savage Chicken. Vancouver - Get run over by terrible drivers. Toronto - get run over by highly-skilled drivers. Montreal - get run over by both, while walking on sidewalks. ]]> Jiro http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72203-pedestrians-guide-canada.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72195-hoochie.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:56:11 GMT When southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch.

What they did take, however, was "a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder." (That, at least, is the way the police report described it.)

A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, "that it looked similar to high grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time."

Later, Nathan stood in front of the numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: "Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago."

The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. Th e cardboard box was there too; about half of Gertrude's ashes remained.

Scotch taped to the box was this note which said :

"Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie.

Sorry we snorted your sister.

No hard feelings.

Have a nice day." ]]> http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72195-hoochie.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72084-prospector.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 06:09:28 GMT A prospector had been in the hills prospecting for a year or better without any contact with humanity. Needless to say, He was horney, thirsty, and quite scarey looking.

When He got to town he headed to the first bar he saw, plopped himself down on a bar stool ....and as he was waiting for the bartender to get to him, he noticed a huge glass jar on the bar back filled with $20.00 bills and a sign propped up against it that read "BET YOU CAN".

When the bartender finally got to him the prospector asked "Whats the deal with the "Bet You Can" jar??

The bartender explained you'll have to enter the contest first and then then complete the three steps necessary to win the jar full of money. The three steps are:

1. Drink a fifth of Tequila, in one-half hour.

2. Go out back and pull the abscessed tooth that My Pit Bull is suffering with.

3. Go upstairs and have sex with My 80 year old Grandmother.

The prospector put up his $20.00, slugged down the Tequila and bolted out back.

Twenty minutes later the prospector came back into the bar bitten, scratched, and bloodied ... and then said with a big grin... "Okay! Now where's that dear Old Lady with the bad Tooth?" ]]> http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/72084-prospector.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71974-red-tomatoes.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 08:26:31 GMT A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem
to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll,
she came upon a gentleman neighbour who had the most
beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.

The woman asked the gentlemen,
"What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front
of my tomato garden, naked in my trench coat, and flash them.
My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try
doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if
it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she
flashed her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentleman was passing by, and asked the woman,
"By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?

"No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

:laugh2: ]]> Koala http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71974-red-tomatoes.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71896-truely-moral-story-right-here.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:15:18 GMT Since I am new here, many of you don't know I was once married, and I had one of my greatest life lessons occur to me in the time leading up to my wedding.

See, my fiance was a great gal, but she had this younger sister. Barely 18, and ever since we were engaged, she started wearing these low cut tops and short skirts. Needless to say but dinner with the family in law became troublesome at best. Every moment that she got she tried to flirt with me.

Anyways, the day before the wedding I went over to my parent in law's house to see my fiance and make sure everything was running OK for tomorrow. Well, sure enough, the younger sister is there, with seemingly no one else in house, dressed in another one of her all too revealing numbers. She walks up to me and says seductively "I know what you want, and you can have it. Follow me". She went upstairs, but I didn't follow her.

I immediately make an about face and walked out the front door. Just outside the door, I was greeted by her father. He had a grin on his face, met me with a big hug and said "Son, you passed the test. Welcome to the family."

That was the moment I had my life lesson. The lesson, you ask?

Guys, keep your condoms in your car.

:D:D:D

(PS, I was never actually married) ]]> Machina http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71896-truely-moral-story-right-here.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71842-girls-night-out.html Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:26:10 GMT Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.'

I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well,

the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.

Around 3 a.m..., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway

started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.


I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted

solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when

totally smashed....

3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!)

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him

midnight, he didn't seem pissed off in the least.


Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said ' We need a new cuckoo

clock.

When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock

cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit', cuckooed 4 more times,

cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed

twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted. ]]> http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71842-girls-night-out.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71809-driving-pager.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:02:35 GMT Image: http://i305.photobucket.com/albums/nn212/dbarovian/14450_323544150197_795235197_981000.jpg :lol:
:lol: ]]> Chevy57 http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71809-driving-pager.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71758-psychic-skunk.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 01:03:54 GMT

*it's a pix of Savage Chicken comic strip. A smelly skunk with a title - "Psychic Skunk!" Next box - skunk's in middle of chicken crowd, thinking - "What a bunch of freaks!" next box - "all of them thinking about the same thing.... bathing in tomato juice!" ]]> Jiro http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71758-psychic-skunk.html http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71756-piglet.html Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:42:22 GMT

*it's the pix of Winnie the Pooh and the gang are wearing face mask due to swine flu, looking very scornful. Winnie the Pooh is using the stick to push the small wooden raft away with Piglet sitting on it. ]]> Jiro http://www.alldeaf.com/jokes-funny-stories/71756-piglet.html